Читать книгу Rising Stars & It Started With… Collections - Кейт Хьюит - Страница 61

‘HARRY!’ She took him into her arms and wrapped him in a hug, truly delighted to have him home. ‘I’ve got a surprise for you.’ And she carried him in to what had been her study as well as Courtney’s room and spare room. The cot had been folded and put away (well, it had been neatly put away under Bridgette’s bed till she hauled it to the charity shop on Monday) and the bed that had been under a pile of ironing now had a little safety rail, new bedding and a child’s bedside light. There were new curtains, a new stash of bricks in a toy box and an intercom was all set up.

‘You’ve been busy,’ her mum said when she saw Harry’s new bedroom. ‘Isn’t he a bit young for a bed?’

‘Well, at least he can’t climb out of it. I’ll just have to make sure I close the bedroom door or he’ll be roaming the place at night.’

‘It looks lovely.’ Betty smiled at her daughter. ‘I’m sorry that we haven’t been much help.’

‘You have been,’ Bridgette said, because she couldn’t stand her parents’ guilt and they had probably been doing their best.

‘No,’ her mum corrected. ‘We’ve been very busy burying our heads in the sand, trying to pretend that everything was okay, when clearly it wasn’t. We’re going to be around for you much more, and Harry too.’

‘And Courtney?’ Bridgette watched her mother’s lips purse. ‘She needs your support more than anyone.’

‘We’re paying for rehab,’ Betty said.

‘It’s not going to be an instant fix,’ Bridgette said, but she didn’t go on. She could see how tired her parents looked, not from recent days but from recent years. ‘We can get through this, Mum,’ Bridgette said, ‘if we all help each other.’

‘What about you, though?’ It was the first time her father had really spoken since they’d arrived. ‘What about that young man of yours, the one in Sydney?’

‘Let’s not talk about that, Dad.’ It hurt too much to explore at the moment. It was something she wanted to examine and think about in private—when she had calmed down fully, when she was safely alone, then she would deal with all she had lost for her sister, again. But her father was finally stepping up, as she had asked him to, and not burying his head in the sand as he usually did—which was a good thing, though perhaps not right now.

‘We need to discuss it, Bridgette.’ He sat down and looked her square in the eye. ‘We didn’t know you were serious about someone.’

‘It never really got a chance to be serious,’ Bridgette said.

‘We should have had Harry more.’

Yes, you bloody should have, she wanted to say, but that wasn’t fair on them, because really it wasn’t so much Harry who had got in the way; it had been her too—she hadn’t wanted a relationship, hadn’t wanted to let another close. ‘Things will be different now,’ Bridgette said instead.

‘You could go away for the odd weekend now and then…’ her dad said. And teeny little wisps of hope seemed to rise in her stomach, but she doused them—it was simply too late.

After her parents had gone, Bridgette made Harry some lunch and then cuddled him on the sofa. She did exactly what she’d tried not to—she let herself love him. Of course she always had, but now she didn’t hold back. She kissed his lovely curls and then smiled into his sleepy eyes and told him that everything was going to be okay, that Mum was getting well, that she would always be here for him.

And she would be.

It was a relief to acknowledge it, to step back from the conflict and ignore the push and pull as to who was wrong and who was right—she wasn’t young, free and single, she had a very young heart to take care of.

‘You wait there,’ she said to Harry as the doorbell rang. They were curled up, watching a DVD. Harry was nearly ready to be put down for his afternoon nap and Bridgette was rather thinking that she might just have one too.

‘Dominic!’ He was the last person she was expecting to see, though maybe not. She knew that he did care about her, knew he would want to know how she was.

He wasn’t a bastard unfortunately. It would be so much easier to paint him as one—they just had different lives, that was all.

‘I thought you had a gangster party to be at!’

‘I’ve got a couple of hours till the plane.’ He was dressed in a black suit. ‘I’ve just got to put on a tie and glasses—Mum’s sent me a fake gun, though I’d better not risk it on the plane.’ His smile faded a touch. ‘I wanted to see how the meeting had gone…’

‘Didn’t you hear?’ Bridgette said, quite sure the whole hospital must have heard by now. ‘Or you could have read the notes.’ He saw her tight smile, knew that Bridgette, more than anyone, would have hated things being played out on such a public stage—it was her workplace, after all. She opened the door. ‘Come in.’

He was surprised to see how well she looked, or perhaps surprised wasn’t the right word—he was in awe. Her hair swished behind her as she walked, all glossy and shiny as it had been that first night, and he could smell her perfume. She looked bright and breezy and not what he had expected.

Back perhaps to the woman he had met.

‘I didn’t want to read the notes,’ Dominic said, walking through to the lounge. ‘Though I heard that Harry had come home with you…’ His voice trailed off as he saw Harry lying on the lounge, staring warily at him. ‘Hi, there, Harry.’

Harry just stared.

‘What happened to the nice smile that you used to give me when I came on the ward?’ Dominic asked, but Harry did not react.

‘Do you want a drink?’ Bridgette offered, though perhaps it was more for herself. She wanted a moment or two in the kitchen alone, just to gather her thoughts before they had to do what she had been dreading since the night they had first met—officially say goodbye. ‘Or some lunch perhaps?’ She looked at the clock. ‘A late lunch.’

‘I won’t have anything,’ Dominic said. ‘I’ll have something on the plane and there will be loads to eat tonight. A coffee would be great, though.’ It had already been a very long day. ‘You’ve changed the living room.’

‘I’ve given Harry his own bedroom,’ Bridgette said, ‘and I quite like the idea of having a desk in here.’ And she could breathe as his eyes scanned the room, because, yes, she’d changed the screensaver again. Now it was a photo of Harry and his mum, a nice photo, so that Harry could see Courtney often.

‘It looks nice,’ he said as Bridgette headed out to the kitchen and Dominic stood, more than a little awkward, nervous by what he had to say. He wasn’t used to nerves in the least—he always had a level head. He said what was needed and rarely any more. He took off his jacket and looked for somewhere to hang it, settling on the back of Bridgette’s study chair. Turning around he saw Harry smile, half-asleep, lying on the sofa. He gave Dominic the biggest grin and then closed his eyes.

‘What are you smiling at?’ Bridgette asked Dominic as she walked back in the room carrying two mugs and saw him standing there grinning.

‘Harry,’ Dominic answered, still smiling. ‘That nephew of yours really does love routine.’ He saw a little flutter of panic dart across her eyes, realised that she thought perhaps he was there to tell her something. He understood she had an overactive imagination where Harry was concerned. ‘He smiles when I take my jacket off. I’ve just realised that now. Whenever I came onto the ward at night he watched me and frowned and then suddenly he gave me a smile. I could never work out why.’

‘It’s what you do.’ Bridgette grinned, because she’d noticed it too. ‘Before you wash your hands. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you examine a patient with your jacket on. Funny that Harry noticed,’ she mused. ‘I guess when your world’s chaotic you look for routine in any place you can find it.’

‘Well, it doesn’t look very chaotic to me. You’ve done great,’ Dominic said. He waited while she put Harry down for his very first nap in his big-boy bed—Bridgette surprised that he didn’t protest, just curled up and went straight to sleep. She gently closed the door. ‘So,’ he asked when she came back in, ‘how did the meeting go?’

‘You really didn’t read the notes?’ She was a little bit embarrassed and awkward that he might be here to question her plans to follow him to Sydney, because even though she hadn’t given his name, if Dominic had read the notes, the indication would be clear. ‘Because I was just bluffing…’

‘Bluffing?’ Dominic frowned. ‘About what?’

‘Getting a life.’ Bridgette gave a wry smile. ‘Moving to Sydney.’

‘You said that at the meeting?’

‘Oh, I said that and a whole lot more,’ Bridgette admitted. ‘I did what you suggested. I spent the time before the meeting trying to work out rules I could live with. I said that he had to attend daycare, but I had to be able to take him to a doctor if needed and to take him for any procedures if Courtney wasn’t available. I said that Mum and Dad had to help more if Courtney wasn’t around…that I was through looking out for Courtney, that I was only on Harry side.’

‘You said all that?’ He put down his coffee and took her hand. ‘Well done. How did Courtney take it?’

‘I didn’t stay to find out,’ she said. ‘I just left the meeting. I hope you don’t mind, but I said that I’d been seeing someone, that he lived in Sydney—it just made it seem more real to them. It made them believe that I would leave if I told them I had somebody who wanted me to go with them.’

‘You did.’

And she’d no doubt cry about it later—but not now. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘For getting him squeezed onto the list.’ He gave a frown. ‘I know you must have…’

‘Well, I thought it might buy another night before she dropped her act, and when you came out of the meeting…’ He looked at her, didn’t want to tell her how hard it had been to step aside, to not be in that room, not as a doctor but sitting beside her. ‘I figured she might drop it a little quicker if you weren’t there to sort it out for her.’

‘Well, it worked. She fell apart when she had to actually make a decision and it all came out. It isn’t drugs—it’s alcohol. She’s just been slowly falling apart since I kicked her out.’

‘It would have happened wherever she was,’ Dominic said. ‘It was probably going on here…’

And she nodded because, yes, it had been a bit.

And she thought of Harry’s birthday that should have been about cordial and cake but instead her sister had chosen to party on—and so too had Paul.

‘I hate what she did,’ Bridgette said. ‘I just couldn’t have her stay after that.’

‘Of course you couldn’t.’ Dominic thought for a moment, knew he had to be very careful with what he said. Certainly he was less than impressed with Courtney, but even if people didn’t like it at times, he was always honest. ‘But I think it’s something you have to move on from. She’s clearly made a lot of mistakes, but if you’re going to be angry with anyone—’ he looked at Bridgette, who so deserved to be angry ‘—then I think it should be with him.’

‘It was both of them.’

‘He took advantage.’

‘Oh, and you never have—’ She didn’t get to finish.

‘Never,’ Dominic said. ‘Not once. My sexual résumé might not be impressive to you, but…’ He shook his head. ‘Nope, what he did was wrong, and however awful your sister has been, I bet she’s been trying to douse an awful lot of guilt about her treatment of you.’

Bridgette nodded. ‘She’s gone to rehab. It’s three months and Mum and Dad are paying. She came over last night with Dad and said she was terrified of letting everybody down…which she may well do, so I’m not getting my hopes up, but I’ve made a decision to be here for Harry.’ She saw him glance at his watch.

‘Sorry, I’m rattling on…’

‘It’s not that. I have to leave in an hour. I can’t miss that plane.’ He took a deep breath. Really, he was finding this incredibly difficult—she seemed fine, better than fine, as if she wasn’t missing him at all.

Wouldn’t miss him.

But he would miss her.

Which forced him to speak on.

‘What you said about Sydney, about having someone who wanted you there, you weren’t exaggerating, Bridgette.’ He took her hand and her fingers curled around his. Inside her, those little wisps of hope uncurled too, and it was so wonderful to see him, to have him sitting beside her, to know this was hard for him. ‘I want this to work too. I just can’t not be there for Chris,’ he said.

‘I was very unfair to you—it was ridiculous that I couldn’t even get away for a single weekend, and it is about to change. I spoke to my parents this morning so maybe I can get away now and then, maybe I could come up on days off, or some of them.’ She stared at her fingers being squeezed by his, and she wished he would jump in, would say that was what he wanted, but he let her speak on. ‘And who knows what might happen in the future? Courtney might get well—’

‘You’re not going to leave Harry,’ Dominic cut in. ‘You might be able to convince them, but you’ll never convince me. You’re not going anywhere while Harry’s so little.’

‘No.’ She could feel tears trickling down at the back of her throat and nose. She’d been so determined not to cry, to do this with dignity, to let him go with grace. She could see the second hand on his watch rapidly moving around, gobbling up the little time that they had left. ‘No, I’m not going anywhere. Well, not long term.’

‘And I don’t think the odd weekend is going to suffice.’

‘No,’ she said, because it wouldn’t be enough.

And they could talk in the time they had left, but what was the point? Bridgette realised there was no solution to be had, so instead of tears she gave him a smile, not a false one, a real one. And she put herself first for once, was completely selfish and utterly indulgent and just a little bit wild, because as he went to speak she interrupted him.

‘Have we got time for a quickie before you go?’

‘We need to talk,’ Dominic pointed out.

‘I don’t need anything,’ she cut in. ‘I know what I want, though.’

And he wasn’t going to argue with that.

He didn’t know what he had expected to find when he came over, how he’d expected her to be when he’d knocked at the door, but as always she’d amazed him. Then, as she opened the bedroom door, she amazed him all over again.

‘Wow.’ As he walked into her bedroom he let out a low whistle. ‘You’ve got a carpet!’

‘I know!’

‘I’m impressed.’ He looked at the shelves and politely didn’t comment about five holes she had made in the wall—because he wouldn’t know how to find a stud either.

‘Just you wait.’ She was at his shirt as she spoke. He pulled off her T-shirt and undid her bra and it slowed things down undressing each other, so they stripped off for themselves and then Bridgette peeled back the duvet.

‘You get first feel…’

‘Of what?’ he asked, hands roaming her body, but she peeled off his hands and placed them on the bedding.

‘Of my million-thread-count sheets. I was saving them for best…’

Which he was, Bridgette knew that, because he lay on the sheets and wriggled around and made appreciative noises, and then he pulled her in and kissed her.

‘I want to feel them now,’ she said.

So she lay on the sheets and wriggled around and made appreciative noises too.

And then he kissed her again.

‘Don’t let me fall asleep after,’ Dominic said.

‘After what?’ She frowned, naked in his arms. ‘If you really think you can just come here and have sex…’

She made him laugh and she loved making him laugh. She loved the Dominic others so rarely saw. When it was just the two or them, the austere, remote man seemed to leave—and he understood her humour and matched it. He made her laugh too, turned those cold black eyes into puppy-dog ones. ‘I don’t want sex, Bridgette. I just want to hold you.’

‘Oh, no.’ They were laughing so much they would wake up Harry.

‘I just want to lie next to you…’ he crooned.

‘No.’

He straddled her.

‘I just want to talk,’ he said.

‘No talking,’ she begged.

It was a whole new realm for Dominic, like swimming in the ocean after a lifetime doing laps in a pool.

He did not know that you could laugh so much on a Saturday afternoon, that she could laugh even now as she lost him.

As she loved him.

It was a different kiss from any they had tasted before, a different feeling from any they had ever felt.

He kissed her slowly and more tenderly and he let himself love her—smothered her, physically, mentally, buried her and pressed her against her very best sheets. He wrapped his arms under her and drove into her till she wanted to scream, and she pressed her mouth to his chest and held on for dear life. She didn’t know what the future held and she couldn’t control it anyway, so she lived in the moment, and what a lovely moment it was. And she could cry afterwards and not be embarrassed or sorry.

It was a wonderful afternoon, and nothing like the one he had intended, the most delicious surprise. His head was spinning that she could love him like that when she considered it over between them.

‘I’ve made some decisions too.’ He took a deep breath, dived out of the pool and into the ocean, where it was rough and choppy but exhilarating and wild. ‘When I went to resign this week, when I told them I wouldn’t be back, I was offered a job.’ He looked at her grey eyes that were for the first time today wary. ‘Here.’

She felt little wisps of hope rising again, then she moved to douse them. They were guilty wisps. Surely this was wrong.

‘I’m going to ring on Monday and take it.’

‘You want to work in Sydney, though. Your family’s there, your friends, Chris. You always wanted to work there. It’s your goal.’

‘Goals change,’ Dominic said.

‘What about your brother?’

‘I’m not going to say anything to him yet,’ Dominic said. ‘It’s his birthday.’

He shook his head, because he couldn’t do it to Chris this weekend. ‘Look, the job doesn’t start for a month and I’m taking the time off. I’m not working. You and I will spend some proper time together, do some of that talking you so readily avoid, and we’ll see how I go with Harry…’

‘You could have told me!’

‘I tried,’ Dominic said. ‘You didn’t want to discuss it—remember? I’ll be back on Monday and we can talk properly then.’ He looked at his watch. ‘I’m going to have to get going soon. This is one plane I can’t miss.’

She lay in bed and stared up at the ceiling, tried to take in what he was saying. A month…

A month to get to know Harry, to see how they went, and then…She was happy, happier than she had ever felt possible, but it felt like a test. Then he turned around and maybe she should compromise too.

‘I could ask Mum and Dad to come over.’ She was torn. ‘If you want me to come tonight…’

‘I think Harry needs a couple of nights in his new bed, don’t you?’

And she was so glad that he understood.

‘I have to get back.’ He smiled. ‘Would it wake Harry if I had a shower?’

‘Don’t worry about that.’ And she had a moment of panic, because Harry was being golden and sleeping now, but what about at two a.m. when he decided to wake up, what about when it was six p.m. and her mother hadn’t picked him up from crèche? How would Dominic deal with those situations? She wasn’t sure she was ready for this, not convinced she was up to exposing her heart just to have Dominic change his mind. ‘I’ll get you some towels.’

‘Could you pass my trousers?’ he asked as she climbed out of bed. ‘Oh, and can you get out my phone?’ He snapped his fingers as she trawled through his pockets, which was something Bridgette decided they would work on. Sexy Spaniard he may be, and in a rush for his brother’s party perhaps, but she didn’t answer to finger snaps. ‘I can’t find it and don’t snap your fingers again,’ she warned him. ‘Hold on, here it is.’ Except it wasn’t his phone. Instead she pulled out a little black box.

‘That’s what I meant.’ He grinned. ‘So, aren’t you going to open it?’

Bridgette was honestly confused. She opened the box and there was a ring. A ring that looked as if they were talking about a whole lot more than a month.

‘I thought we were going to take some time…’

‘We are,’ Dominic said. ‘To get to know all the stuff and to work things out, but, compatible or not, there’s no arguing from me.’ He pulled her over to the bed. ‘I love you.’ He looked at her and to this point he still didn’t know. ‘And I hope that you love me?’

She had to think for a moment, because she had held on so firmly to her heart that she hadn’t allowed herself to go there. And now she did. She looked at the man who was certainly the only man who could have taken her to his home that first night. She really was lousy at one-night stands, because she knew deep down she had loved him even then.

‘If I say it,’ she said, ‘you can’t change your mind.’

‘I won’t.’ That much he knew. She was funny and kind and terribly disorganised too—there was nothing he might have thought he needed on his list for the perfect wife, but she was everything that was now required.

‘How do you know?’ she asked.

‘I’m not sure…’ Dominic mused. ‘Chemistry, I guess,’ he said.

‘And Chris?’ she said as he pulled her back to bed and put his ring on her finger. She realised the magnitude of what he was giving up.

‘He’ll be fine.’ Dominic had thought about it a lot and was sure, because of something Tony had said. He should have thanked Tony, not the other way around, for far better a full plate than an empty one. He didn’t want to be like his father, hitting golf balls into the sky at weekends, a perfect girlfriend waiting at home, with not a single problem. ‘I’ll go up at least once a month and he can come here some weekends. If I’m working you might have to…’ He looked at her and she nodded.

‘Of course.’

‘We’ll get there,’ he said. ‘You’re it and I know you’ll do just fine without me, but better with me.’ He looked at eyes that weren’t so guarded, eyes that no longer reflected hurt, and it felt very nice to be with someone you knew, but not quite, someone you would happily spend a lifetime knowing some more. ‘And I’m certainly better with you.’

‘Hey!’ There was a very loud shout from down the hall. ‘Hey!’ came the voice again.

‘Oh, no.’ Bridgette lay back on the pillow as Harry completely broke the moment. ‘Those bloody grommets. It’s as if he’s suddenly found his voice.’

Harry had found his voice and he knew how to use it! ‘Hey,’ Harry shouted again from behind his closed door. It was a sort of mixture between ‘Harry’ and ‘Hello’ and ‘Have you forgotten me?’

‘I’ll get him.’ Bridgette peeled back the sheet, liking the big sparkle on her finger as she did so.

‘If you say you love me, I’ll go and get him,’ Dominic said, and pulled on his trousers, deciding he had to be at least half-respectable as he walked in on the little guy.

‘If you go and it doesn’t make you change your mind—’ Bridgette grinned, knowing what he would find ‘—I’ll say it then.’

It was the longest walk of his life.

He’d just put a ring on a woman’s finger. Shouldn’t they be sipping champagne, booking a restaurant, hell, in some five-star hotel having sex, not getting up to a baby?

But with him and Bridgette it was all just a little bit back to front and he’d better get used to the idea.

He pushed open the door.

‘Hey!’ Angry eyes met him, and so did the smell. Angry eyes asked him how dared he take so long, leave him sitting in this new bed that he wasn’t sure how to get out of?

‘This isn’t how it’s supposed to be, Harry,’ Dominic said, because surely it should be a sweet, cherubic baby sitting there smiling at him, but it was an angry Harry with a full nappy. The newly engaged Dominic had to change the first nappy in his life and, yes, it was shocking, a real baptism of fire!

‘Think of all the cruises I won’t be going on,’ Dominic said as he tried to work out all the tabs, ‘all the sheer irresponsibility I’m missing…’

‘Hey!’ Harry said, liking his clean bottom and new word.

‘Hey,’ Dominic answered

And then he picked him up.

A bare chest, a toddler who was still a baby and a mass of curls against his chin, and it was inevitable—he didn’t just love Bridgette, he loved Harry too. For the second time in twenty minutes he handed over his heart and it was terrifying.

He would never tell, but he thought he was crying. Maybe he was because Harry’s fat hands were patting his cheeks. He could never tell Bridgette that he was terrified too.

That the phone might ring.

That there might be a knock on the door.

That Courtney might come back.

That this little guy might have to be returned too soon.

‘I’ll make this work.’ He looked into the little grey eyes that had always been wary and saw the trust in them now. ‘I will make this work,’ Dominic said again, and his commitment was as solid as the diamond he had placed on Bridgette’s finger—his promise to Harry would cut glass if it had to, it was that strong. ‘It will all be okay.’

He walked back into the bedroom with a sweet-smelling Harry and did a double-take as he saw his previously sexy fiancée in bright orange flannelette pyjama bottoms and a T-shirt.

‘Don’t want him having flashbacks about his aunt in years to come,’ Bridgette said.

And it was hard, because she was more a mother than the one Harry had.

‘I’m just going to wash my hands.’

He was so tidy and neat. As he handed over Harry and headed to the bedroom, she worked something out. ‘That’s why he smiled,’ Bridgette said. ‘When you took your jacket off, he knew that you were staying.’

She looked at her nephew, at smiling grey eyes that mirrored her own, and it was easy to say it as Dominic walked back in the room.

‘I love you.’