Читать книгу Bad Blood - Кейт Хьюит - Страница 15

IT WAS all very well having good intentions. Harder to stick to them when the man you were determined not to fall for was Nathaniel Wolfe.

Katie curled up on the sofa in his private jet, trying to hold hope in check. It wasn’t just the thought of attending the Sapphire ceremony that excited her, it was the knowledge that Nathaniel wanted her with him.

He could have flown her home or left her on the island.

But he’d chosen to invite her. Not a skinny A-list actress with visible hip bones. Her. Katie Field. Costume Designer.

And he was no longer acting when he was with her. He was the real Nathaniel.

‘We’ve extended the acting project—’ he was reading an email from Gabriela ‘—and she says Carlos has been back every day.’

‘That’s great.’ And it was. But what really warmed her was how involved he’d become. Far from shutting himself off, he’d opened himself up.

‘He’s emailed me. Gabriela let him use the connection from her office.’ His smile was tinged with self-mockery. ‘I’m going to regret that one. Never given my private email to a snotty kid before. Next thing, he’s going to want to come and stay with me in LA.’ But there was satisfaction in his voice and a smile on his lips as he tapped a reply.

Katie blinked back the tears that stung her eyes. ‘I think that would be great.’

Nathaniel turned his head slowly and held her gaze. ‘I’m glad I got involved. I wouldn’t have done it if it hadn’t been for you.’ He leaned forward and kissed her. They’d kissed so many times over the past two weeks, and yet this kiss was different. She felt the difference. And so did he.

Lifting his head, he frowned. ‘Katie—’

She waited, her heart in her mouth. She had no idea what he wanted to say but she felt the tension and the shift in the atmosphere.

‘Five minutes to landing.’ The captain’s voice filled the cabin and Nathaniel pulled back from her, his eyes blank.

‘Nothing. We’ve arrived. Welcome to Los Angeles.’

They walked off the plane straight into a heaving crowd of reporters and photographers.

‘Nathaniel? Is it true you saw your brother Jacob on your opening night in London?’

‘Do you have any comment about why you walked off the stage?’

‘Have you spoken to him since that night?’

Shocked by the relentless battering by the press, Katie gripped his hand, horrified that all the things he hated talking about were being flung out there for public consumption. To her it seemed monumentally insensitive and cruel and she wanted to shout at them to leave him alone but she knew that wouldn’t help. They were like a pack of hungry hyenas converging on a juicy carcass. They showed respect for neither privacy nor personal space and she found the crowd and the cameras both threatening and intimidating.

The confidence she’d found on the island evaporated and suddenly she wanted to shrink into the background again.

In contrast, Nathaniel was cool and confident, striding through the ranks of photographers with a bored smile that was absolutely in character with his public persona. The man she’d spent the past two weeks with had vanished and he was every inch the remote, supersuccessful movie star.

‘I have nothing to say about my private life,’ he drawled, ‘but if you want to talk about Alpha Man, then contact one of my team.’

‘Do you blame Jacob for murdering your father?’

Nathaniel didn’t break stride, nor did he give any indication that he’d heard, but Katie thought that he gripped her hand a little tighter.

‘Do you think Alpha Man will win the Sapphire for Best Movie, Nathaniel?’

‘Katie, how does it feel to have trapped the wealthiest movie star in the world? Is he paying off your debts?’

Before she had time to recover from the shock, Nathaniel sprang like a leopard trapping its prey. Lithe and lethal, he ploughed through the front row and grabbed the journalist by the front of his shirt, dragging him forward. ‘She did not “trap” me,’ he growled, ‘and what I do with my money is none of your business.’

Frozen with shock, Katie closed her hand over his arm and tugged. ‘Let him go. He isn’t worth it.’

For a moment she thought he hadn’t heard her, and then he released the journalist and the man staggered. His face was white and he looked shaken.

‘Don’t ever speak to her like that again or I’ll rip your throat out.’ Nathaniel wrapped a protective arm round Katie. ‘Now leave us alone.’

Touched by his violent defence of her, Katie suddenly wished the journalists would just vanish. At that moment she felt closer to him than she ever had, and when he lowered his head to kiss her in blatant disregard of the cameras, she felt happiness brim over.

Through the mists of pleasure and the explosion of flashbulbs she heard a voice—a clear, hard voice—shout from the back of the crowd. ‘What about Carrie? Isn’t it time you talked about Carrie?’

Because her mouth was pressed against his, she felt the change, felt the ripples of tension as he slowly lifted his head.

Anxious murmurings spread across the crowd from journalists worried that they’d missed an important story. People turned to one another, seeking enlightenment as to who ‘Carrie’ was.

The journalist who had spoken pushed to the front. She was an icy blonde who had ruthless ambition stamped over every centimetre of her carefully made-up face. Behind her was a cameraman determined not to miss a shot. ‘Must have been a hell of a childhood, Nathaniel.’

Confused, Katie glanced at the woman and then back at Nathaniel. His face was the colour of the palest marble.

‘My childhood was fine.’

‘Really?’ It was obvious that the journalist wasn’t going to let it go. ‘If I knew my mother tried to drown me when I was a baby, I don’t think I’d be fine.’

His mother? Katie frowned, wondering how the woman could have got the story so wrong. It wasn’t his mother who had tried to drown him, it was his father. She waited for Nathaniel to correct the woman but he stood silent, the black fury in his eyes sending an uneasy silence across the crowd of journalists.

The blonde took a step backwards but refused to abandon her story. ‘You’ve been clever. You put out the story that your mother left, so none of us bothered looking. Why didn’t you just tell people she had a complete breakdown and she’s been in a psychiatric hospital ever since? You and your brother Sebastian should be proud that you used some of your many millions to build her a pretty cottage in the grounds so she thinks she’s living a normal life. Why do you keep her a secret, Nathaniel? Are you afraid that if people find out about your mother, it will ruin your perfect movie-star image?’

Carrie was his mother?

She was in a psychiatric hospital?

Katie’s first impulse was to leap to his defence and deny it, but one look at Nathaniel’s white face and traumatised expression told her that the woman was telling the truth.

And this time he didn’t attack. He didn’t move. It was as if he’d been felled at the knees.

And the warmth inside Katie melted in an instant. His mother, she thought numbly. Hauling back the sick disappointment that he hadn’t told her, she focused on the blonde journalist. The woman’s smile said everything. She knew she’d hit the jackpot.

Pushing her own pain aside, driven by a depth of anger she’d never known before, Katie stepped forward. ‘How dare you use someone’s personal life for cheap entertainment and to make a name for yourself. Shame on you.’ Her voice shook and she stared at the woman with contempt. ‘Shame on you.’

Shaking with anger, Katie stepped backwards just as six bulky men arrived and surrounded them.

‘You’re late,’ Nathaniel said flatly, and the largest of the men gave him an apologetic look.

‘Terrible traffic in downtown LA, boss. Sorry.’

They were ushered out to a waiting limousine and Katie collapsed into the luxurious interior. The warmth she’d felt when he’d leapt to her defence had seeped away through the stab wounds made by this latest discovery. Why hadn’t he told her?

She glanced across at him but he sat in silence, withdrawn and remote. The Nathaniel she’d got to know on the island and in Rio—the real Nathaniel—was gone. Katie pushed aside her own pain. They’d only known each other for two weeks, she reasoned. For a man like him, that wasn’t long enough to establish real trust. She needed to be patient. ‘I’m sorry. She had no right to say all those things. How did she find out?’

Nathaniel tipped his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. ‘The surprise isn’t that she found out, but that it took everyone so long. Sebastian and I have been waiting for this for years. We tried to keep the secret—whenever there is press coverage about my father, it affects Carrie badly. She takes a lot of medication, but even with that, it isn’t good.’

He didn’t talk about it because he was trying to protect his mother. ‘Why do you call her Carrie?’

‘Because that’s how I think of her. I stopped thinking of her as my mother a long time ago. She wasn’t really capable of being a mother. She was too ill.’

‘Is it true that you built her a cottage?’

‘Sebastian and I wanted her to have as normal a life as possible. It’s easier to keep her condition stable when she isn’t around strangers. She lives in her own little world. Most of the time she’s happy enough. She has full-time carers who she sees as family.’

‘And what about you? Her real family?’

‘I see her whenever I’m in England. But she doesn’t recognise me. Or Sebastian.’ Nathaniel’s hands curled into fists. ‘Do you know the really frustrating thing? She talks about me all the time. “My son Nathaniel, famous Hollywood movie star …” But she doesn’t actually know it’s me. She calls Sebastian “Nathaniel” but when I visit her, she can’t seem to make the connection. Once she even asked me if I knew her son Nathaniel.’

Thinking about his bleak, loveless childhood brought a lump to her throat.

He’d learned to survive alone.

She slid along the seat and put her arms round him but he was rigid and unresponsive.

‘I’m fine.’

‘Nathaniel, you’re not fine!’

‘It’s how it is. It’s how it’s always been. I need to warn the clinic.’ Shrugging her away, he reached for his phone. ‘They need to keep her away from newspapers and television. It could have a serious impact on her emotional stability. And then I need to increase security so those jackals can’t get anywhere near her because she associates gangs of journalists with her disastrous marriage to my father. And the LA press don’t have anything on the British tabloids.’

Katie sat there, helpless, trying not to feel hurt by his rejection. ‘Are you going to call Sebastian?’

‘I’ve just sent him a text.’

One by one the doors between him and the world were slamming shut. Katie wanted to put her foot in the final crack to stop him closing her out along with everyone else.

‘You don’t think a conversation might be helpful?’

‘All he needs are the facts.’

Facts. Facts. Katie wanted to point out that there was more to conversation than an exchange of facts.

Picking up on her tension, Nathaniel turned his head and looked at her. ‘You’re upset that I didn’t tell you—’

‘No.’ She pushed the words past stiff lips. ‘It’s how you cope with things. I understand.’

‘Do you?’ His voice was hard. ‘Because if revelations about my family are going to shock you, then you’re hanging out with the wrong guy. There are more skeletons in my family than in the average graveyard.’ The brittle tone rubbed over her nerves like sandpaper and Katie tried desperately to regain some of the closeness they’d had on the island.

‘I understand why you didn’t tell me. I understand how much you must be hurting.’

‘I’m not hurting.’ The shield was up and no one was getting through. ‘I stopped hurting twenty years ago.’

Katie stared at the perfect lines of his profile, despair seeping through her.

Not hurting?

He was in agony.

And she had no idea how to reach him.

‘This place is incredible.’ They were high up in the Hollywood Hills, near the urban wilderness of Runyon Canyon. Beneath them, the sprawl of Los Angeles lay in a haze of early-morning sunshine.

Sunbeams danced on the infinity pool and the place was infused with the delicious scent of pine.

‘An architect friend of mine built it.’ Distant and polite, Nathaniel poured her a cup of coffee. ‘Down there is Sunset Boulevard.’ He gestured with his head. ‘And to the left you can see the high-rises of downtown. Did you sleep well?’

‘Yes. Thank you.’ Did he really think she would have slept when he hadn’t come to bed? She wondered where he’d spent the night. Awake on the terrace thinking about his mother? Pacing?

Feeling utterly exhausted, Katie stared down at the city. It felt like a million miles from London in February. A million miles from her real life. Only her real life hadn’t gone away, had it?

In the past twenty-four hours she’d come back down to earth and she was still bruised from the rough landing. ‘I need to do something about finding a job.’

‘Howard Kennington will be at the Sapphire ceremony tonight. You’re going to meet him along with Alicia. There’s a project they want to discuss with you.’

For a moment their problems receded into the background. Her head spun and excitement sparked inside her. ‘The Howard Kennington? The producer?’

‘That’s the one.

‘But … how do you know the two of them will meet me?’

‘I’ve already set it up.’ Nathaniel was polite and formal and Katie felt as though her heart was being twisted in different directions. He was offering her a dream with one hand, while snatching back an entirely different dream with the other.

‘Thank you,’ she said quietly, ‘for doing that for me.’

‘I already sent your preliminary drawings and your costume plot. He’s impressed and so is Alicia. The rest is up to you.’ Nathaniel glanced at his watch, all brisk efficiency. ‘You need to start getting ready for tonight.’

She hadn’t even taken a sip of her coffee. ‘Already?’

‘This is the Sapphires.’ He gave a sardonic smile. ‘Most of the actresses started preparing at least two months ago.’

‘You’re kidding …’ Awash with insecurities, she put her cup down on the table. ‘Suddenly I’m not so excited about going—how do you fancy an evening in front of the TV?’ Her feeble joke drew a flicker of a smile from him.

‘Think of it this way—you’re already at an advantage because you don’t need Botox, plastic surgery, teeth-whitening or a month with a personal trainer. You’re going to look fantastic and I predict much teeth gnashing among the glitterati.’

Panic set in. ‘Nathaniel, I can’t go to the Sapphires. For a start I don’t have a dress.’

‘Yes, you do. Follow me, Cinderella.’ He walked across the terrace towards the house.

‘I can’t wear something you’ve chosen. There are loads of fabrics and colours I just don’t look good in. And turquoise is fine for the beach, but it won’t do for the Sapphires.’ Wishing they were back on Wolfe Island where it was just the two of them, she followed him into the house. The vast windows threw sunshine and light over the polished wooden floors and elegant white furniture.

Silent and preoccupied, Nathaniel led her up the winding staircase to the master bedroom with its Brazilian wood balcony and views across the Santa Monica Mountains. But the last thing on her mind was the view.

Aware of the tension in him, Katie tried again to reach out to him. ‘Nathaniel … about the press yesterday—’

‘I have two well-known American designers waiting to talk to you if you don’t like the dress.’ Without giving her the chance to turn the conversation into something more personal, he gestured towards the dressing room that was about the same size as her apartment in London.

Walking into a room that dazzled with glass and mirrors, Katie blinked in shock. Hanging from a rail was the dress she’d designed. Her dress. It was taken straight from the drawing he’d admired that night in her flat, even down to the sequins hand stitched to the gold silk. ‘Oh.’ She swallowed. ‘Nathaniel. How did you—? When did you—?’

‘I found another drawing of it in your pad and sent it to a designer friend of mine. He’s had a team of seamstresses working on it non-stop.’

‘It’s perfect. It’s—’ An incredible gesture. And she had no idea what to read into it. She’d never felt more confused in her life.

Nathaniel was watching her with an expression that she couldn’t fathom. ‘You approve?’

‘How could I not?’ Katie stepped forward, touching the fabric as she always did with any garment. ‘It’s exactly as I imagined it. Except that I didn’t imagine I’d be wearing it myself.’ Really touched, she flung her arms round his neck and hugged him. ‘Thanks. That was incredibly thoughtful.’

It was like hugging a stone pillar—a one-way experience. There was no response. Nothing.

Nathaniel gently disengaged himself. ‘I bought you something else ….’ His tone casual, he removed a box from his pocket and flipped it open. A beautiful diamond necklace winked at her from a bed of seductive black velvet.

‘Oh—’ Katie’s heart stopped and suddenly she couldn’t breathe. ‘That’s beautiful ….’

And it was a breathtakingly extravagant gift. No one had ever given her anything that generous before. She stared at it, stunned.

‘Pleased?’

‘Of course.’ And she was. It was crazy to think that what she really would have preferred was a hug. Or a kiss. Something intimate.

But Nathaniel made sure there was no opportunity for intimacy as he wheeled in a team of hairdressers, make-up artists and a top stylist.

By the middle of the afternoon, Katie had been primped and pampered and was feeling more and more nervous about the evening ahead. Why had she and Claire ever thought it would be fun going to the Sapphires? She was going to walk down that famous red carpet with some of the most beautiful women in the world on the arm of the sexiest man in the world. It didn’t take a genius to predict what everyone would be thinking. Why her? It would be like letting a mongrel loose in a dog show, she thought gloomily. There was no way she’d ever win Best of Breed.

When she finally stepped into the dress, the stylist stood back and stared.

‘You look totally awesome.’

Unconvinced, Katie turned to look in the mirror. And saw a stranger. They’d swept her hair up and the skilled use of make-up made her skin look flawless and her eyes huge.

‘The dress is stunning.’ The stylist sighed. ‘Who is the designer?’

‘Me.’ Katie stared at her reflection, trying to see herself through the layers of sophistication. ‘I’m the designer.’

‘Wow. Well, by the end of the evening everyone will know who you are, that’s for sure. I bet you’re nervous. Every woman in the world is going to be watching that ceremony tonight and hating you for being with Nathaniel. Not to mention that several of the actresses attending tonight would have given just about anything to be in your position. He’s a superstar.’

Nathaniel Wolfe, superstar.

Suddenly Katie wished they were back in Rio, helping the kids with their drama class. There, Nathaniel had been himself. She’d started to get to know him, although there were huge parts of himself he still kept hidden.

Like why he wanted to win a Sapphire so badly.

She had a feeling it was more than personal pride.

Great actors went through their whole careers without winning, didn’t they? Of course it would be a wonderful accolade, but was it really a matter of life or death?

She wondered if he’d talk about it on the way to the ceremony, but from the moment he strode into the room, she knew there was no hope of that.

There was no sign of the real Nathaniel. This was Alpha Man in person, impeccably dressed in a black tuxedo with a black satin bow tie at his throat. He exuded the raw, masculine glamour of the Hollywood leading man and Katie felt the gulf between them widen. It was like waking up from a wonderful dream and not being able to hold on to the images. She could feel him slipping away from her.

‘Nathaniel …’ Desperate to break through those barriers, she tried to talk to him but he was distant and unapproachable. She was no closer to him than those audiences watching him up on the big screen.

His fingers were cool as he fastened the diamonds around her neck. ‘You look beautiful.’ It was as if he was analysing her quality as another accessory to be fed into the whole Sapphire machinery.

‘Nathaniel—’

‘This evening must feel daunting.’ Stepping back, he scanned her with those sexy, slanting eyes. ‘You have no reason to be nervous. You will outshine everyone.’

‘I love the necklace and I love the dress.’ She wanted to tell him that it wasn’t how she looked that worried her, it was how she felt. How he felt. The Nathaniel she’d fallen in love with had somehow slipped away when they’d landed in Los Angeles. ‘You must be feeling really nervous. I know tonight means a lot to you.’

‘It’s work. The Academy Awards are an important night in the calendar.’ He was all movie star. Remote. Untouchable.

Katie caught his arm in a tight grip, trying to reach the man.

‘Please tell me what’s wrong. Is it just because you want to win so badly?’

‘Of course I want to win.’ His eyes burned brilliant blue. ‘Winner takes all.’

Katie let her hand drop, wondering why she didn’t believe him. ‘So it’s just your competitive nature.’

‘We don’t have time for a full-on Katie analysis session.’ He held out his arm. ‘The limo is waiting, as are the photographers. You might want to practise your smile.’

Katie hesitated and then took his arm and walked with him to the door. She’d been naïve, hadn’t she? She’d congratulated herself on breaking down those barriers. She’d thought the man she’d spent the past two weeks with, the real Nathaniel Wolfe, was here to stay. She’d truly believed she had exclusive access, which showed how stupid she was.

It didn’t matter what they’d shared. It didn’t matter what had happened before.

Nathaniel Wolfe was gone.

It was a slow drive. The streets were closed off and people herded together and crushed against barriers, hoping to catch a glimpse of the stars. And then Katie found herself standing on the legendary red carpet, blinking in the blaze of the Californian sunshine. She touched the diamonds at her throat, listened to the screams and felt like a total impostor. It was controlled chaos, the sheer volume of people daunting, and she hoped that she didn’t lose Nathaniel. She’d never find him again in this crowd.

A woman approached them, smiling and obsequious. ‘Mr Wolfe, I’ll walk you through. The cameras are waiting.’

Of course the cameras were waiting. The cameras were always waiting for Nathaniel Wolfe.

They headed along the red carpet and Katie spotted a sea of famous faces, but none as famous as Nathaniel, who engendered something close to hysteria in the watching crowds. They held banners and huge, blown-up photographs and yelled his name.

Calm and relaxed, he smiled and strolled as if he were walking on the beach, occasionally stopping to chat to someone or shake a hand. He was the megastar, the man everyone wanted to be or be with. Pushed into the reality of his world, Katie realised how hopeless it was. How had she ever thought, even for a moment, that this could work? Yes, she’d spent time with the real man, but he was also a movie star and that was never going to change.

There would always be cameras and screaming women. Beautiful women. Drowning in a wash of despair, she walked through the metal detectors, trying not to tread on the glamorous dresses and embarrass herself.

And then she was being urged forward towards the banks of photographers and press desperate to interview the stars.

Katie wanted to shrink into the background but shrinking meant losing Nathaniel and his was the only face she knew so she stood and distracted herself by examining all the dresses and mentally altering the cut, the colour or the fit.

If her career as a costume designer hit the rocks, maybe she could become a stylist, she mused. She was good at dressing other people.

After endless photographs a voice announced that the awards ceremony would be starting in five minutes and Nathaniel guided her into their seats at the front of the auditorium.

Front row, she thought dizzily. She was in the front row.

As the Awards progressed, she felt Nathaniel’s tension increase. The suspense was agonising and Katie sat there, heart pounding, unable to enjoy the evening because she was so desperate to get to the part that mattered for Nathaniel. She wanted him to win because she knew how badly he wanted it.

Even when she saw the words Best Performance

by an Actor in a Starring Role flash onto the giant screen, it still wasn’t over. Five beautiful actresses stood onstage to talk about each of the nominees and Katie held her breath thinking that if they didn’t get on with it soon she was going to leap onstage and rip open the envelope herself. She ground her teeth as the women waxed lyrical about the other nominees, but when it came to Nathaniel’s turn for acclaim, she found herself listening intently. As the beautiful actress, his co-star, started praising his raw talent, his intuition and his skill on both sides of the camera, Katie realised with a flash of guilt that she always tried to ignore that side of him. She tried to forget that he was a great actor because thinking of him like that simply intimidated her. But he was world-class. And clearly he had the respect of his peers.

Knowing that the cameras would be focused on him, Katie kept a fixed smile on her face, while the same thought revolved in her head, Please let him win, please let him win.

Finally the talking stopped.

The glamorous woman who had won Best Actress the previous year walked onto the stage.

Tense as a bow, Katie listened as the names of the nominees were read out again and then the actress finally opened the envelope. Her mouth curved into a smile as she looked up at the audience.

‘And the Sapphire goes to Nathaniel Wolfe for Alpha Man.’

The applause exploded across the auditorium like a clap of thunder. Katie felt her vision blur and she turned to congratulate him, expecting to see him smiling. Instead he sat still, staring straight ahead.

‘Nathaniel?’ she choked out his name. ‘You won. You did it.’ She gave him a little push and he turned to look at her, his eyes blank. ‘Congratulations. They’re waiting for you onstage. You have to go and get it!’

As he rose slowly to his feet, so did the audience. One by one, they stood, saluting him in an unprecedented show of support. There wasn’t a person in the room who, by now, didn’t know the sad story of his childhood. There wasn’t a woman in the room who wasn’t thinking about his mother as Nathaniel walked slowly towards the stage. The noise was deafening and there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that it was a popular choice. Nathaniel could barely make it down the aisle for people hugging him, kissing him and shaking his hand. And Katie watched, pride lodged in her throat, tears stinging her eyes.

Eventually he extracted himself from the clinging hands and walked onto the stage to receive his Sapphire from Hollywood’s hottest female star.

The applause was tumultuous, and in the midst of her happiness Katie felt a wash of despair.

For a while he’d been hers. Not Nathaniel Wolfe, Sapphire winner, but Nathaniel Wolfe the man. For a while they’d laughed, swum in the sea and made love. He’d shared his thoughts with her. He’d told her about his family. She knew that underneath those famous blue eyes was a caring, strong decent man who guarded his emotions.

But now …

Watching him lift the icicle shaped Sapphire trophy high in the air as a gesture of triumph, she felt her eyes sting.

He’d been a little boy trying to escape from the nightmare of the real world. And that little boy had fought his way to the top in the toughest business of all.

The achievement was outstanding.

When the applause died and the audience finally seated themselves, Nathaniel gave his trademark sexy smile, back in control. ‘This is the part where I’m supposed to cry, isn’t it?’

Laughter rippled across the auditorium and Nathaniel spread his hands in mocking apology. ‘Sorry to disappoint,’ he drawled, ‘but I’ve always had a problem with the crying part. Unless I’m being paid, of course. Thank you for this amazing honour ….’ He spoke fluently and with grace, thanking his co-star and all the people involved in the making of the film.

Then he paused and looked at the glittering trophy in his hand. Silence fell, as if everyone sensed that the obligatory thanks were over and that he was about to say something meaningful.

‘I dedicate this Sapphire to my mother, Carrie.’ His voice didn’t waver and he spoke directly into the camera that was circling the front of the stage. ‘Carrie, you are a beautiful, special woman and you always told me that one day your son Nathaniel was going to win a Sapphire. Well, you were right. I won. This is mine.’ He held it high, a strange smile playing around his mouth. ‘Maybe when you look at this on your mantelpiece, you’ll think of me.’

Katie heard a quiet sob come from a woman in the row behind her. A man cleared his throat.

To the rest of the world it sounded like a simple dedication, but Katie understood the true message behind those words. Finally she understood what Nathaniel was trying to do.

He was hoping that seeing him holding the Sapphire would trigger something in his mother’s brain. He was hoping it was going to be enough to make her remember that he was her son.

Tears poured down her cheeks and she brushed them away quickly, realising that the cameras might be on her.

Nathaniel left the stage to even louder applause and Katie gave him a wobbly smile as he sat down next to her, expecting to see pride in his eyes. Instead his face had a greyish tinge and those famous blue eyes were empty.

‘That was beautiful.’ She covered his hand with hers. ‘Will she be watching?’

‘Yes. It’s ridiculously late in England but she insists on watching the Sapphire ceremony every year. She even dresses up for it.’

A confused, lonely woman getting ready to watch the world-famous ceremony on a television.

Katie blinked rapidly. ‘Well, you’ve made her night.’

He didn’t respond and suddenly she wished they could just go home right now so that she could try and get him to talk to her. Instead they sat through the rest of the ceremony and then moved on to the Sapphire Ball.

Sparkling chandeliers sent a cascade of light over the decorated tables, the room a mixture of contemporary elegance and glamour. Nathaniel was immediately surrounded by people wanting to soak up his success and Katie found herself pushed back to the fringe of the group.

Wondering how anyone could feel invisible and conspicuous at the same time, she hovered. The falseness of the situation made her uncomfortable and she realised that this was why Nathaniel chose to hide himself. You couldn’t be real here, could you? These people didn’t want real—they wanted the dream.

She was wondering whether to pay an extended visit to the bathroom, when a man with a friendly smile approached.

‘You must be Katie.’ He extended his hand. ‘Howard Kennington.’

Still worrying about Nathaniel, it took Katie a moment to register that she was in the presence of movie royalty. ‘Oh …’ She felt tense and awkward. ‘Nathaniel said that he’d sent you my drawings, but—’

‘They’re awesome. As is that dress you’re wearing. Even Alicia is impressed and she’s one hard nut to crack.’ He drew her to one side and questioned her about her ideas and soon Katie was deep in conversation, talking non-stop as she spilled out a lifetime of dreams.

‘Sorry.’ Eventually she ground to a halt. ‘I’ve gone on and on—’

‘It’s been most illuminating. You don’t hide much, do you?’

‘Nothing.’ Katie turned scarlet. ‘But I’m trying to change.’

‘Don’t. It makes you unique and it’s hard to find anything unique in Tinseltown. You have real talent. As does Nathaniel.’

The famous producer smiled and they talked for another twenty minutes and when he gave her his card and invited her to meet both him and Alicia the following week, Katie felt her spirits soar. Howard

Kennington liked her work. It was more than a dream. It was a fantasy. Never in a million years had she ever thought she’d have this sort of luck. It was all she could do not to squeal with joy.

If she could prove herself, she could be working as a costume designer on movies.

Virtually dancing across the floor, she went in search of Nathaniel, wanting to thank him and share her excitement.

She found him alone in a room used for press interviews.

He was sprawled on the red sofa, eyes closed. His bow tie dangled loose around his neck and his jacket was slung carelessly over the arm of a nearby chair. The coveted Sapphire lay at his feet on the floor.

‘You look completely wrecked.’ Deciding that this wasn’t the time to tell him her good news, Katie walked over to him. ‘Do you want to go home?’

‘Are you kidding? The party is just getting started.’ His eyes opened and she saw instantly that he was well on his way to being drunk. ‘I won a Sapphire.’

‘I know—’

‘And with any luck, my mother might finally figure out who I am.’ Decades of hurt shimmered in those words and Katie felt her heart break in two as she saw his mouth curve into the familiar mocking smile.

‘Nathaniel—’

‘Don’t look at me with those big, sympathetic eyes. Life sucks, angel.’ His eyes shone hard and cynical. ‘You should know that by now. But you’re still hoping, aren’t you? You’re still dreamy enough to be looking out for that happy ending.’

‘I think sometimes you have to work on the happy ending.’ She eyed the bottle of champagne that lay empty on the floor next to him.

Ever since his plane had touched down in LA, he’d been under the most enormous pressure. And then the emotional turmoil of winning the Sapphire …

‘Your speech was—’ she took a deep breath ‘—it was beautiful, Nathaniel. And I know how tough this whole thing must be for you.’ Katie sat down next to him. ‘Do you want to talk?’

‘No. Absolutely not.’ His eyes glittering like jewels, he slid his hand behind her head and pulled her mouth down to his. ‘There are lots of things I want to do tonight, but talking is definitely not one of them.’

Katie tried to ignore the flash of sexual excitement. No, she thought desperately. Physically he was pulling her close, but emotionally he was pushing her away.

‘Nathaniel—’ she dragged her mouth from his ‘—you can’t just run from this.’

‘Do I look as though I’m running?’ With a smooth, practised movement he shifted her under him and gave her a wicked smile. ‘I’m lying. With you.’

‘Yes, you’re lying.’ Desperate, she pushed at his chest, trying to ignore the way his body felt against hers. ‘You’re lying to yourself. You can’t just pretend nothing is happening ….’

‘Nothing is happening—’ he trailed his lips down her neck ‘—but it will in a minute. I’d better lock the door—I think this calls for a closed set….’

‘No—’ The chemistry threatened to suck her down. ‘No! This is crazy.’

‘Sex with you is always crazy.’ His mouth was warm and skilled and Katie turned her head away, trying desperately to ignore the pulsing excitement building inside her.

‘You’re doing what you always do in a crisis—you’re acting.’

Slowly, he lifted his head. ‘You think I’m acting?’

‘Not the sex …’ Her voice was husky. ‘I think the sex is real. But it’s the only thing that is. You can’t keep running, Nathaniel—’

He said a word that shocked her and then he sprang to his feet and paced to the far side of the room. ‘Why not?’

‘Because it doesn’t solve anything.’ It would have been so easy to let the heat take her. Take the easy

route, her body sang, tempting her. Put your arms round him and do what you’re aching to do.

Nathaniel was staring at her, his eyes a dark, dangerous blue. ‘I’ve had enough talking.’

‘Have you returned Jacob’s calls?’

‘What business is it of yours?’

Katie flinched. ‘None.’ Anger mingled with the frustration. ‘None at all. I can see that now.’

‘Don’t sulk.’ He strolled towards her, his mouth flickering into that familiar slanting smile that made her dizzy. ‘Tonight we’re going to party.’

Her heart thudded, a slow unfamiliar beat in her chest. The anger glowed and burned. ‘You can party. If how you feel is none of my business, then there’s nothing more to be said.’

Bold dark brows met in a frown. ‘Katie—’

‘No.’ She held up her hand. ‘I don’t want a relationship that’s just about parties and glitter. I want a proper relationship, and if that means dealing with hard stuff, that’s OK. I’m used to dealing with hard stuff. What I can’t deal with is secrets. My dad had a whole secret life going on and I don’t want to live like that. I won’t live like that.’ Outside the room she could hear laughter and cheers, but inside the room there was silence as Katie was forced to accept that he didn’t actually care how she was feeling.

Nathaniel inhaled deeply. ‘Katie Field …’ A strange smile played around his mouth. ‘Are you dumping me?’

‘No. You’re the one dumping me.’ The anger burning red-hot, she stooped and picked up her bag. ‘Face it, Nathaniel, you don’t want a relationship. A relationship is about sharing—sharing the highs and the lows. And not just yours—everything isn’t about you.’ She swallowed. ‘I came in here to tell you my news … I was excited—’

‘You have something to celebrate?’ He reached for another bottle of champagne and Katie felt her frustration boil over.

‘Don’t you think you’ve had enough?’

‘I don’t think so. In fact, I don’t think I’ve had anywhere near enough.’ He lifted the bottle and popped the cork. Foam spilled over his hand and dripped onto the floor.

Katie had never felt less like celebrating in her life. She felt cold. Terribly cold.

‘You need to speak to Jacob,’ she said. ‘He’s trying to make amends. That’s obvious from the fact he keeps contacting you. You need to stop running. Be brave.’

‘Brave?’ His laugh was mocking. ‘I’m Alpha Man and I have the Sapphire to prove it.’

Sadness spread like dark clouds, blotting out the final rays of happiness. ‘That Sapphire just proves you’re a brilliant actor. But I’ve always known that.

You’ve been the actor, Nathaniel. Now you need to be the man.’

‘You want me to prove I’m a man?’

‘No.’ Ignoring his slow, suggestive smile, Katie straightened her shoulders and held his gaze. ‘Everyone thinks you’re exactly like your character in Alpha Man, but you’re not because he wasn’t afraid to face his fears. You run from yours.’ The dangerous glitter in his eyes made her wonder whether she should turn and run herself. Fast. ‘I’m not talking about the physical stuff—you do all that easily because you’re not afraid to take physical risks. I’m talking about the emotional stuff. That makes you feel vulnerable and you won’t allow yourself to be vulnerable. You won’t allow yourself to take emotional risks. Have you ever asked yourself why you take back-to-back roles with no break in between? It’s because you don’t want to leave a single chink in your schedule where you might actually have to be yourself. You don’t even know who you really are because you’ve been hiding and running for so long. You won’t go home because it reminds you of your past.’ She discovered that her hands and knees were shaking. ‘You avoid your family ….’

His face lost its colour. ‘My relationship with my family is none of your business.’

‘You seem to think you’re the only person in the world with a messy, difficult family, but you’re not! Mine isn’t exactly a picnic. We have our fair share of skeletons. I don’t care. But I wanted to help you. I still want that. I love you …’ She said the words without shame or hesitation. ‘And I know that terrifies you but it’s the truth. And when I think about what you lived through as a child it makes me boiling mad, Nathaniel, but what makes me even madder is that you’re not prepared to face it and deal with it.’

A cynical gleam lit his eyes. ‘And I thought you were such a sweet, sunny little thing. Clearly I had you all wrong.’

‘Do you want to know what makes me most angry?’

‘No—’ he was icily polite ‘—but I’m sure you’re about to tell me.’

‘What makes me most angry is that you’re prepared to destroy what we have because you’re too cowardly to take a risk with your feelings. I know they hurt you, Nathaniel. Your father, Jacob—they all abandoned you. But are you really going to let the past dictate the way you live your life in the future? Before you can go forward, you have to go back. You have to talk to Jacob. You have to accept what happened and live with it, not just keep switching your phone off. You have to be who you really are.’

There was a long, pulsing silence. He watched her, his face inscrutable. ‘Are you finished?’

Katie felt her heart crack in two. Hope drained away. The future, which a few hours earlier had seemed so bright, now seemed dark and empty. What they had was special. She knew that. Why wouldn’t he fight for it? Why was he just giving up? Caught in a whirl of despair, misery and exasperation, she allowed herself a final long indulgent look at his face. Memories, she thought. That was all she was going to be left with. Desperately she imprinted images in her brain—the brilliant blue eyes, their astonishing colour intensified by the jet of his eyelashes and bold brows; the straight line of his nose and the slow curve of his sensual mouth. But the image that was going to stay with her for ever wasn’t the movie star collecting his Sapphire, it was the man teaching disadvantaged children how to act. The man delving deep inside himself to help a vulnerable child.

Dredging up willpower she hadn’t known she possessed, Katie lifted her chin. ‘Yes—’ her voice was shaky and sad ‘—I’m finished. And so are we.’

Feeling as though someone had gouged out her insides with a blunt instrument, she turned and stumbled through the door. Her vision swam and she narrowly avoided crashing into a group of people who were laughing together.

Blind, she kept ploughing forward until she ran smack into one of Nathaniel’s security team.

‘I’m not feeling well,’ she choked. ‘Mr Wolfe would like you to take me back to the apartment and then to the airport.’

She still had a credit card, didn’t she? The fact that she’d never be able to pay it off was irrelevant. She’d book herself on the first flight into Heathrow and go home. She wasn’t naïve enough to think that the Howard Kenningtons of this world would be interested in her if she wasn’t with Nathaniel. It was all about who you know, wasn’t it? Contacts.

Katie hurried down the steps. Like Cinderella, she thought, running from the ball. Except that she hadn’t lost a shoe.

Both shoes were on her feet, but her heart was in pieces.