Читать книгу A Sister’s Sorrow - Kitty Neale - Страница 11

Four years later

February 1953

‘Tommy, pick your feet up or you’ll wear your shoes out,’ Sarah said to her brother. She glanced behind to see Tommy reluctantly trudging along the pavement and dragging his shoes as he did so.

‘But they’re already worn out. I’ve got a hole in the bottom,’ Tommy replied in a whiny voice.

‘Well, there’s no need to make them any worse. Anyhow, with that cardboard I patched them up with, they’ll be good for months yet. Come on, get a move on, we’ll be home soon.’

Sarah’s basket had been full this morning, but now, as dusk drew in, she was pleased to see it was empty and all her kindling sold. It had been a good day’s work, and she was looking forward to getting home and resting her aching legs.

‘I’m hungry,’ Tommy moaned, coughing chestily.

‘I know you are, love, but we haven’t got much further to go,’ Sarah said, trying to placate the child. It wasn’t much fun for him, in the cold February winds, wearing short trousers and having to traipse the streets with her as she went door to door hoping to get a ha’penny for her bits of wood for the fire. She worried about his chest, as the boy suffered with coughs that rattled his small body.

‘You said that ages ago …’ Tommy moaned again and huffed.

Sarah fished in her coat pocket and pulled out a shiny coin.

‘See this, Tommy?’ she asked and held it out. ‘If you’re a good boy and stop complaining, I’ll give it to you at the end of the week and you can buy whatever you like with it.’

Sarah smiled as she saw Tommy’s blue eyes widen with delight. ‘Really? Will you take me to the sweet shop? Can I buy some cough candy?’

‘I haven’t got any sweet coupons, but I’ll take you to Woolworth’s on Saturday and you can have ice-cream, but only if you behave yourself, mind.’

Tommy skipped up to walk alongside her. ‘I’ll carry your basket tomorrow, Sarah,’ he said, then ran on a few feet ahead.

He’s such a good boy, she thought, and was glad that he’d soon be going to school so she wouldn’t have to drag him around with her. He’d also get a proper meal at school, something she wasn’t able to ensure he got daily, though she tried her best. February was chilly so Sarah found her kindling was still in good demand. Soon, though, the weather would turn, and during the warmer summer months she’d pick wild flowers and make little posies to sell in the High Street. She’d got the idea from a gypsy lady she’d once seen selling tiny bouquets of lavender. It didn’t make her a fortune, but it paid enough for her to provide basic nourishment for Tommy. The wind was beginning to whip up, so Sarah quickened her pace. ‘I’ll race you home,’ she said to Tommy as she passed him on the pavement.

‘It’s not fair, wait for me,’ Tommy called, ‘you’ve got taller legs than me.’

Sarah panted, waiting for Tommy to catch her up. She couldn’t help giggling at the silly faces he began to pull at her. He was such a joy, and she loved him as if he were her own son.

Annie was cold and fed up with hanging about outside the pub. She’d been standing on the corner for nearly two hours, yet hadn’t received even so much as an enquiry. She loathed touting herself on the streets, but had been forced to as business had been slow lately. It had been a while since she’d seen three of her usual punters and she was really feeling the effect of the pinch in her purse.

‘All right, Annie,’ a voice said.

Annie spun round to see Eddy hopping from foot to foot with his hands stuffed deeply into his donkey jacket. Though he was about the same age as Annie, his face was deeply lined, and his salt-and-pepper hair had receded.

‘Hello, stranger. Where have you been lately? You ain’t been round to see me for ages,’ Annie said. She kept her voice sweet in the hope of winning back one of her long-time regulars.

‘Yeah, sorry ’bout that, you know how it is.’

‘No, actually, I don’t, Eddy, so why don’t you enlighten me?’

Eddy hunched his shoulders, and Annie decided he looked shifty. He was hiding something, and she intended to find out what.

‘I’ve been … busy,’ Eddy answered, but Annie thought he still looked very uncomfortable with the conversation.

‘Too busy to come and see me for half an hour?’

‘I’ve been meaning to … I will come and see you.’

‘When?’

‘I … I dunno. Soon.’

‘This ain’t good enough, Eddy Sterling. We’ve been friends for years and I know when you’re up to something … Come on, spill the beans,’ Annie said sternly, placing her hands on her hips.

‘It’s … I don’t want you getting annoyed or nothing … but … I’ve been seeing someone else.’

‘What do you mean, seeing someone else? Who?’

‘Her name’s Cathy … she lives down Bullen Street. I saw Jerry coming out of there the other day too, seems she’s onto a good little earner there.’

Annie bit her lip as her mind turned. That explained a lot. Jerry was one of her regulars whom she hadn’t seen lately. ‘Well, thanks for the loyalty, Eddy. I’ve been sorting you out for bloody years and expected a bit better from you! She must be some looker – I mean, you’ve had your head turned quick enough! So what’s this Cathy got that I ain’t, eh? What does she do for you that I don’t?’

‘See, this is why I didn’t want to tell you. I knew you’d act like this.’

‘What do you expect?… I’m bloody fuming! This Cathy tart has pinched some of my best blokes, you included. Why do you think I’m stood out here freezing my tits off! I’ve a good mind to go round there and rip her blinking head off!’

‘I wouldn’t do that, Annie. She’s got someone looking after her, and I don’t think he’d be too pleased with you interfering in their business.’

‘So I’m just supposed to stand back and let them nick all my customers? It ain’t on, Eddy. I’ve got mouths to feed and I need to put a roof over my kids’ heads. I can’t afford to lose the business. What’s so bloody special about her anyway?’

Annie glared at Eddy as his mouth opened and closed, but no words came out.

‘Well, tell me! You obviously prefer her to me, so …’

‘She’s a lot younger than you, Annie … and, well, pretty. Her gaff is nice too … she’s got a proper double bed, and it’s … clean.’

Annie gritted her teeth. Her blood was boiling. She quickly pulled her arm back, swung it at Eddy and slapped him hard across his face. ‘You’ve never bloody well complained before! How dare you insult me! You want to take a look at yourself, you ain’t no oil painting … You’re welcome to her. Don’t you ever come near my place again!’

Annie saw Eddy rub his red cheek before she spun on her heel and marched towards home. She was too wound up to do any business now, but at least she had a bit of gin waiting for her indoors.

Sarah closed the front door behind her and Tommy, then flopped down on the newly acquired but stained second-hand sofa, courtesy of one of her mother’s customers who was a bin man. ‘I’m bushed!’ she said to Tommy.

‘Me too,’ Tommy replied as he sat next to Sarah. ‘Where’s Mum?’

‘I don’t know, love, but best you get yourself quickly washed and ready for bed before she gets home.’

Tommy tilted his head to one side and screwed his pale face up before asking, ‘Why is Mummy always so horrible? I try really hard to be a good boy, but she always shouts and says bad things to me and you.’

Sarah gulped hard. She’d been dreading this day. She’d hoped Tommy hadn’t noticed their mother’s spiteful tongue, but he was more than four years old; it was apparent he had, and she’d have to find the answers to some very difficult questions. ‘I don’t know, Tommy, it’s just the way she is. Some people are made of sugar and spice and all things nice, others are made of sharp bits of glass.’

‘I don’t like her. She’s all right sometimes when she’s quiet, but when she drinks that stuff that smells funny, she’s loud and nasty. Do you like her, Sarah?’

‘She’s our mum, Tommy. You shouldn’t say things like that about her. If it wasn’t for her, you and me would be in a children’s home or on the streets. She can’t help being the way she is. She’s ill, and the gin, the stuff that smells funny, she has to have it to make her better.’

‘But if the gin makes her better, why does she get horribler when she drinks it?’

Sarah could see Tommy’s bottom lip beginning to quiver. It broke her heart to see the child so upset. ‘She doesn’t mean most of the stuff she says. You’ve got to learn to do what I do … ignore it. Just let all her words go in one ear and come out the other. Don’t keep them in your head and then they can’t hurt you.’

Tommy nodded, and Sarah was thankful that the boy seemed satisfied with her answer for now. ‘Right, now hurry up, get yourself ready for bed,’ she urged.

Tommy scampered off to wash at the kitchen sink while Sarah rested her head back. I’ll just have five minutes before I get his tea ready, she thought, closing her eyes.

‘You wicked little brat! How dare you!’

Sarah’s eyes shot open at the sound of her mother’s angry voice. She didn’t know how long she’d been asleep, but it must have been for a while. She saw her mother standing at the kitchen sink with an empty gin bottle in her hand, and Tommy shaking as he cowered behind a kitchen chair. ‘What’s going on?’ Sarah asked, confused.

‘You’re supposed to be looking after him, but while you’ve been snoring your head off, the little bastard has tipped me gin down the sink! I’ll kill him, I swear I’ll skin the bleeder alive!’

Sarah jumped from the sofa and ran to scoop Tommy into her arms. ‘Sorry, Mum. He don’t know any better. Please, don’t take it out on him … I’ll get you some more gin.’

‘Too right you will, but I’m telling you that little sod is still gonna get a good hiding from me, and if you try and stop me, you’ll get the same!’

Sarah knew only too well what her mother was like and that she wouldn’t back down. Though Annie was small-framed, she could still pack a punch, and Sarah feared for Tommy more than she did for herself.

‘Please, Mum, I’ll go now and get the gin. Don’t hit the boy, he won’t do it again,’ Sarah said as tears began to roll down her cheeks.

‘For Christ’s sake, girl, you’re too soft with that precious brother of yours. I don’t care how much you turn on the waterworks, he ain’t getting away with it!’

Sarah could feel Tommy quivering in her arms and watched in horror as her mother went for the cane she kept next to her mattress. Annie didn’t use it often, preferring to deliver a slap or a punch, but when she did produce the cane, Sarah knew it meant business. She still had the scars across her buttocks to prove it.

Tommy seemed to sense Sarah’s fears and began crying hysterically. She’d do anything for the boy, whatever it would take to protect him from the intense pain she’d experienced from one of her mother’s lashings. ‘I won’t allow you to whip Tommy!’ she said firmly.

‘You won’t allow me? Who the hell do you think you are? You’ll do as you’re bloody well told, so either hand over the boy or get out for good, the pair of you!’

Sarah’s heart raced. She could tell her mother was on the brink of complete rage. If they were to avoid a beating, she’d have to act fast. In a panic and without stopping to collect any of their belongings, she drew in a deep breath, bracing herself before heading for the front door. If she left now, she knew there would be no turning back, but what other choice did she have? She threw her mother one final look, then turned quickly and walked through the door.

Tommy could see over her shoulder and suddenly screamed, ‘Run, Sarah! Run!’

As she picked up her pace and ran along the corridor, Sarah looked behind her and caught a glimpse of her mother hard on their heels, hand raised in the air, ready to lash out with the cane. It was the last thing she saw before she turned and fled down the stairs, gasping with relief when her mum didn’t follow, but her foul language echoed down the stairwell as she threatened to shred the skin off their backs if they dared to come back.

Tears streamed down Sarah’s face as she vowed never to return to her mother’s flat again.