Читать книгу A Mother’s Sacrifice - Kitty Neale - Страница 9

Friends and relatives of the other patients buzzed around the ward as visiting time commenced. Some carried bags of fruit, probably late apples, and others had newspapers and magazines ready to greet their poorly loved ones with.

As Glenda lay in bed with the pillows plumped up behind her a little girl tiptoed past, holding her mother’s hand. Glenda tried to raise a smile at the young child but found her face was too tender as a sharp pain shot through her jaw. She winced and noticed the little girl looking back at her with a look of dismay.

‘Mummy, Mummy,’ the girl cried loudly so that all in the ward could hear, ‘look at that lady. Why does she look like a monster?’

Glenda was horrified. She hadn’t seen her reflection in a mirror and had no idea what she looked like – did she look grotesque? Ashamed, she quickly pulled the bed covers high and painfully rolled to her side, trying to hide from prying eyes.

‘Glenda, Glenda, love. It’s me.’

Glenda recognised Harry’s voice behind her at her bedside but was reluctant to turn over and face him.

‘Look, I’ve brought you a lovely bunch of flowers. Chrysanthemums, your favourite.’

No, they’re not, thought Glenda bitterly, daffodils or white lilies are my favourites.

‘Here, love, I’ve got you a packet of Jaffa Cakes too. Don’t ask me how I got hold of them,’ he said, ‘but I’d do anything for you, love.’

Who are you trying to kid? she thought, still unwilling to speak. It’s him that loves them and I bet Maude got them from one of her many cronies. Oh, how bloody thoughtful! She wanted to tell him where to stick his flowers and Jaffa Cakes, but instead she reluctantly eased herself round to face him, desperate to know of Johnnie’s well-being.

She heard Harry gasp as he saw the state of her face and the bandage wrapped around her head. From what the little girl had said, she knew it was bad. Her lips felt twice their normal size and she had felt with her tongue that two of her side teeth were missing. That’s it, she thought, take a good look. You did this.

‘Glenda, oh, baby, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I’ve put you in here,’ Harry whispered. ‘I bloody hate hospitals, the smell and all that. This place gives me the heebie jeebies so I won’t stay long, but my mum will be up to see you later and I’ve had a word with the doc. He says you’ll be out in a day or two. I promise you, I’ll make it up to you then.’

He leaned in to kiss her cheek but Glenda turned her face away.

‘Come on, girl, don’t be like that. You know I didn’t mean it. Look, I admit I went a bit too far, but you’ve gotta learn that you can’t go running around the streets with a low-life like Billy bloody Myers! What do you reckon all the lads down the Castle think, eh? They’ve all heard about you and Billy, Betty made sure of that, and I can’t have them thinking I can’t control my own wife, now, can I? Come on, give your old man a kiss …’

Glenda could feel her temperature rising along with her anger. The selfish bastard, she thought, wanting to spit in his face rather than kiss him, but she forced herself to keep calm, still desperate to know about her baby.

‘Where’s Johnnie?’ she asked curtly.

‘With my mum, of course. I could hardly leave him with yours. The poor old girl can hardly put the kettle on by herself, let alone see to the boy.’

‘And is he all right?’

‘Course he is, but he’ll be glad to get his mum home.’

‘Can you ask your mum to bring him to see me?’

‘Nah, she said it’s best not to. There might be all sorts of germs and things in this place and we don’t want him catching anything nasty. Now, how about that kiss?’

‘Harry, can’t you see it’s painful for me to talk, let alone give you a kiss? Anyhow, I really don’t feel like kissing you right now!’ Glenda answered huffily through gritted teeth.

Lips tightening, Harry whispered menacingly, ‘Stop being so bloody daft and just be grateful that I didn’t leave you at the bottom of those stairs.’

‘Stairs!’ Glenda exclaimed, her voice getting louder. ‘You and me both know that I didn’t fall down any stairs!’

There was a bit of a scuffling noise behind Harry and he turned to see what was going on. Glenda noticed a hospital porter in a dark grey coat helping a woman in the next bed into a wheelchair.

‘Keep your bloody voice down, will you!’ Harry hissed into Glenda’s ear. ‘If you say one word to any of this lot about how you came to be in here, I promise you, you’ll regret it.’

Glenda held her breath, terrified by Harry’s threat. She knew exactly what he was capable of now, and she had to stay strong for little Johnnie. ‘OK, I promise. I won’t say a word,’ she said, her heart sinking. This was a fight she was never going to win.

Harry hadn’t stayed long, much to Glenda’s relief, and just as the final visitors were leaving the ward the woman who had been in the next bed returned with the same hospital porter wheeling her chair. As two nurses helped the woman back into bed, Glenda winced as she turned on her side again, not wanting to engage in conversation with anyone. Thankfully, whoever was in the bed to this side of her had their curtain pulled round, so at least Glenda felt she had a little privacy to cry in peace.

‘Excuse me, Miss.’

Glenda turned to see who was addressing her now, assuming it must be a doctor, but was surprised to see the porter hovering close to her bedside.

‘I just wondered if you’d like me to find a vase and some water for your flowers,’ he said, indicating the chrysanthemums on her bedside cupboard.

‘Oh, thank you. That’s very kind of you,’ answered Glenda, but in reality she didn’t care if the flowers wilted and died.

‘Back in a jiffy then,’ said the man with a smile.

A few minutes later, true to his word, the porter was back at her bedside and was placing her flowers in the vase he had found.

‘There you go, pretty as a picture.’ He smiled at Glenda again.

She immediately noticed his piercing blue eyes that were emphasised by jet-black hair which he wore greased back.

‘The flowers, I meant, not you … pretty as a picture. Oh, no, I mean … you are pretty as a picture, but I didn’t mean that when I said pretty as a picture … but you are. I wouldn’t want you to think I was being forward. I didn’t mean …’

Glenda hid a smile. He was so nervous, but he was kind too, so she assured him, ‘It’s all right. I know what you meant, and thanks.’

‘Sorry, I’ll start again. Your flowers look as pretty as a picture. Did your husband bring them in for you?’

Glenda’s momentary light mood rapidly darkened again at the thought of Harry. ‘Yes, he did,’ she answered, avoiding the porter’s kind blue eyes.

‘I thought he had. My name’s Frank, by the way. I work here, across this and three other wards on this floor. Amongst other things I take patients to departments for X-rays and tests. I hope you don’t mind me saying, but you looked a bit upset earlier when your husband was here.’

Glenda would have loved to tell Frank that her husband was a selfish, violent man and it was because of him that she was in this hospital bed, but with Harry’s threat still ringing clearly in her ears she thought better of it. ‘I’m just missing my little boy, that’s all,’ she lied instead.

‘Only, from where I was standing, I was pretty sure he was warning you off about something.’

‘No, not at all. Look, I don’t mean to be rude, Frank, but it’s really none of your business,’ Glenda answered, surprised that Frank had heard the conversation with Harry.

‘Yeah, you’re right. Sorry for sticking my nose in. I just don’t like to see women getting knocked about. I saw my dad lay into my mum enough times when I was a kid and wished I had been older and big enough to stand up for her. But I wasn’t. Thank God the old git is dead now, killed when a bomb landed on our house, but all the same I wouldn’t want to see a bully like Harry Jenkins hitting a defenceless woman like yourself.’

‘So you know my Harry, do you?’ Glenda asked in surprise.

‘Not as such, but I know of him. He was a few years above me in school, but even back then he was known for being a bit handy with his fists. I’ve got a list of all the patients on the ward and when I saw you was a Glenda Jenkins, I put two and two together.’

Glenda had always known that Harry had a reputation for being tough, but when she met him she hadn’t known he was a bully. She used to like the way he would warn off other men that looked at her; it made her feel special. Unfortunately, she knew differently now.

‘Frank,’ she said, ‘you seem like a nice man and thanks for your concern, but honestly you’d be well advised to keep out of Harry’s business, especially where I’m involved.’

‘You don’t have to suffer in silence, Glenda. I’m just saying, if he’s done this to you and threatened you to keep your mouth shut, you don’t have to. I know what blokes like him are like and if you wanna talk, I’m happy to listen.’

But before Glenda could answer, a rotund woman called out to Frank, ‘Mr Myers, if you have quite finished with Mrs Jenkins, please make your way to ward seven.’

‘Gotta dash.’ Frank winked. ‘Sister will have my guts for garters if I stand around here chatting much longer. See you later.’ And with that he was gone.

Glenda lay gobsmacked. Sister had called him Mr Myers, but surely he couldn’t be related to Billy Myers? She didn’t know anything about Billy’s family, and he had only ever mentioned his mother, but both he and Frank had black hair so maybe they were related in some way. Glenda closed her eyes, thinking that if Frank had anything at all to do with Billy, it was all the more reason why he should stay well clear of her.

The next morning, Glenda awoke early as nurses hustled back and forth medicating patients, and tea trolleys clattered up the stark ward. She longed to get home and see Johnnie, especially as Harry had said that Maude didn’t think the baby should be brought to the hospital. She could understand why, and, not only that, but the state of her face would probably frighten the life out of him. Nonetheless, she missed her baby desperately and was eager to get out of there.

Visiting time seemed hours away, which was a relief to Glenda. She was worried that Maude might find someone to keep an eye on Johnnie and come visit her alone, and she wasn’t up to facing the woman. It would mean yet another lecture about how wonderful her son was and how she should be grateful that he’d picked her to marry. And though she appreciated the fact that Maude was looking after Johnnie, she worried about the sort of food he would be given. Despite the shortages, Maude was fond of feeding him bread and butter dipped in sugar, insisting it was good for him, but Glenda feared that all that sugar would rot his new teeth that were just breaking through his gums. And the whisky, well, surely that wasn’t healthy!

Frank’s cheery voice suddenly snapped her out of her worrying thoughts. ‘Good morning, Mrs Jenkins! I must say, you’re looking a lot perkier today.’

‘Hello, Frank. Thanks, yes, I’m feeling much better than I did yesterday. Obviously the bed rest and hospital food agree with me.’

‘Glad to hear it, as I have a little treat for some of you lovely ladies today,’ said Frank, smiling at several of the women in the surrounding beds.

‘And what’s that then, Frank?’ a middle-aged woman called from across the ward.

‘Well,’ Frank answered, looking rather pleased with himself, ‘Sister has agreed that as the weather has changed, an Indian summer making it warm for October, those that are feeling up to it can come on my voyage surprise. How about that then, ladies!’

‘What the blinking ’eck is a voyage surprise?’ asked the same woman.

‘It’s a film, a French one which I have on good authority was very funny when it was shown in Paris. Now in the meantime, my voyage surprise means I get to wheel you lovelies outside to the gardens for an hour. And look, I’ve got some old crusts for the birds.’

Glenda watched, amused, as a quiet cheer went around the small ward. Frank was certainly popular with the patients and had an ease about him that made you feel instantly comfortable.

‘And what about you, Mrs Jenkins? Will you be joining us today?’ he asked.

‘Oh, I don’t know, Frank. I don’t think that will be such a good idea. What with Harry, you know,’ Glenda whispered.

Frank stepped closer to her bed. ‘Don’t you worry about him,’ he said with a grin. ‘What he don’t know won’t hurt. Anyhow, it’s Sister’s orders so let Harry have it out with her if he dares!’

For the first time since being in hospital, Glenda laughed. Sister was quite a forbidding woman and Glenda couldn’t see Harry arguing with her. In fact, she reminded Glenda a little of Maude.

‘I’ll take that giggle as a yes then,’ said Frank and he turned, clicked his heels in the air and bid a ‘see you all later’ to the rest of the ladies on the ward.

Helen Atkins looked at the small bag of fruit in her hand. It wasn’t much, but her part-time cleaning job didn’t pay very well and the two apples were all she could stretch to. Still, she reasoned, Glenda had never really been one for fruit. She knew her friend well. They had grown up living next door to each other and had formed a very close bond.

The red double-decker tram left Battersea Junction and headed along Falcon Road towards the park. From there, Helen would walk to the Free Hospital and, although she was familiar with the area, she still loved to look out at the views from the top deck.

As the tram rumbled along the track, Helen rolled the paper ticket in her hand and remembered the last time she had been to this hospital. It had been when her father had had a funny turn, which turned out to be a stroke. He had been left disabled, and Helen now had to care for him as well as her mum, who sadly had a touch of dementia.

Helen didn’t mind, though; she understood that it was difficult for her two elder sisters to help out much. After all, they were busy with their own families, and, although Helen doubted she would ever have children of her own, she did enjoy being her nieces’ and nephews’ favourite aunty.

The tram conductor called out the name of the next stop, jolting Helen out of her thoughts. She patted her mousy brown hair, which she wore in a very out-of-date bun, and checked her reflection in the tram window. A few years ago, she probably would have liked to be taller, slimmer and more glamorous, but, to be honest, she thought, what would be the point now? She was content with her short, round stature; it just made her more of a cuddly aunt. And at least she avoided the attentions of the local men, especially the likes of Harry Jenkins and his mates.

Helen shook her head at the thought of Harry Jenkins. If only Glenda had listened and not married the man. Helen had begged her not to but Glenda was blinded by love, and look where that had got her: in a hospital bed.

As she made her way through the hospital corridors to find the ward where Glenda’s bed would be, her heart sank, dreading what sort of state she would find her best friend in. Maude had said that Glenda had fallen down the stairs and was apparently black and blue, but Helen knew the story was yet another cover-up for Harry’s violence.

Helen turned the corner into Glenda’s ward but immediately stopped in her tracks, recognising her friend despite her battered face. Although she’d been expecting a few marks, she was shocked by what she saw. The rotten bastard, she thought, seething. Harry was probably the only person in the world whom Helen truly hated.

‘Helen …’ Glenda sat upright in her bed as she called and waved across the ward.

‘Hello, Glenda,’ said Helen, her voice full of pity.

‘Oh, Hel, take that look off your face, it’s not as bad as it looks.’

It’s worse, thought Helen, feeling at a loss for words. She had always believed the adage that if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all. ‘How are you?’ she asked Glenda, thinking that was probably the stupidest question ever.

‘I’m all right, thanks. I just wanna get home, I’m missing Johnnie so much. But what are you doing here? I didn’t expect to see you! How did you know I was in here?’

‘Slow down, love. I bumped into Maude and she told me about your “accident”.’

‘Oh, Helen, you didn’t say anything to my parents, did you?’

‘No, I guessed that as usual you wouldn’t want them to know.’

‘With my mum the way she is, my dad has got enough on his plate. Anyway, shouldn’t you be at work?’

‘I would normally be, but I took the morning off. You know Mrs Cooper who lives up the road from me? She always sits with Mum and Dad when I’m at work, but I told her I was popping up to see you and she was happy to stay at mine and keep an eye on them. Now, enough about me. What really happened, Glenda? You know I don’t believe any of that codswallop about you falling down the stairs,’ Helen said, her heart going out to her friend as tears welled in Glenda’s eyes. Perhaps she shouldn’t have been so direct with her, but it was time Glenda faced up to the truth once and for all.

‘You know what Harry’s like,’ Glenda said as she wiped her eyes. ‘He just went berserk. But he’s gone too far this time and I’ve had enough! I just don’t know what to do …’

At last, thought Helen, the woman has finally come to her senses and realised what a disgusting pig she’s married to. ‘You know exactly what you’ve got to do, Glenda. You have to leave him!’

‘But it’s not as simple as that. Think about it. Where can I go and what about Johnnie? You know if I stay in Battersea Harry will find me and my life won’t be worth living. My only choice is to get well away from him, his family and the area. But how? I don’t know anyone outside of London and I haven’t got any money, Harry sees to that. I’m stuck, Helen, stuck with a man I don’t love and don’t feel safe with.’ Glenda cried softly, big, fat tears rolling down her face and onto the crisp white bed sheets.

Helen rubbed her friend’s arm. ‘Don’t worry,’ she said soothingly, ‘I’ll help you think of something.’ The two women sat in silence for a minute. In reality, Helen couldn’t see a way out for Glenda either.

Once the morning visiting hour was over and lunch was out of the way, Frank returned to the ward, eager to take the patients out for their little treat. But really he wanted to spend a little more time with Glenda Jenkins. Her face was so swollen and one of her eyes almost completely closed, the skin around it black and purple, yet despite her awful wounds Frank felt drawn to her. He found her attractive and wanted to know more about her and her life. Why did she stay married to a man who could inflict such horrendous injuries on her? Surely it was out of fear, not love.

As he entered the ward, those that were able were sat on the edge of their beds, wrapped up in warm dressing gowns and ready for the off. But Frank immediately noticed that Glenda’s bed had the curtain pulled around it. He panicked slightly, concerned that she had taken a turn for the worse, and hurried to speak to Mrs Fowler in the neighbouring bed.

‘What’s going on with Mrs Jenkins?’ he quietly asked Mrs Fowler, not wanting to show the other patients that he had a special interest in Glenda.

‘Well, the doctor has spoken to her and now I’m pretty sure the nurse is changing her bandages. They’re giving her a bit of privacy on account of how she looks because she’s asked to see in a mirror,’ Mrs Fowler whispered back.

‘That’s going to be a bit of a shock for her,’ Frank replied.

‘From what I heard it seems she had a straight nose before she took the tumble. Shame, ’cos I think she’s probably a very pretty girl under all them bruises, but she’ll never have a smashing smile again, not with those couple of teeth gone!’

Frank was so shocked at the reality of Glenda’s injuries that he felt bile rise in his throat. It wasn’t the broken nose or knocked-out teeth that sickened him. It was the fact that the man who was supposed to love Glenda and look after her could actually do such a heinous thing to her. He wondered what sort of monster this Harry Jenkins really was.

Suddenly, the curtain around Glenda’s bed was pulled back and two nurses walked away into the ward. Glenda had obviously been crying but appeared to be composed at the moment, though she looked pale and wan. Probably from the shock, thought Frank.

He cautiously approached her side and saw the fresh bandages around her head. ‘I’m sorry, Glenda. I can’t believe he did that to you. It’s a stupid question, but are you all right?’

Glenda’s eyes were watery but at least her swollen one was beginning to open.

‘He’s mad, Frank. That’s the only explanation I can think of. He’s out of his mind. He must be or else how could he have been so brutal? But you know the funny thing?’

‘No,’ answered Frank, ‘I can’t think of anything funny at the moment.’

‘The funny thing is, all I can think about is where the bloody hell has he put my teeth!’ Glenda said and for a brief moment a small smile crossed her face.

Frank couldn’t believe how resilient this woman could be. ‘Well, it ain’t all bad,’ he said, trying to make light of the situation. ‘You’ve got plenty of others in your mouth!’

But Frank’s joke suddenly seemed in bad taste when Glenda’s face fell and she burst out crying.

‘I’m gonna look terrible, Frank. He’s damaged me good and proper this time. Look at my crooked nose! Oh, blimey, what if it scares my Johnnie?’

Frank wanted to take her in his arms, soothe her pain and tell her it would all be okay, but he knew he would be sacked for doing that. Instead, he looked her straight in the eyes.

‘Look at me,’ he said, pan-faced and very serious. ‘No matter what that evil bastard has done to you, take it from me, Glenda Jenkins, you are still and always will be a beautiful woman. So what, you’ve got a bit of a bumpy nose and a couple of missing teeth. It ain’t the end of the world. You still look like you. Of course you ain’t gonna scare your little boy. But you’ve gotta get away from his father, Glenda. He’s dangerous and you and Johnnie deserve better.’

Glenda had regained her composure and Frank hoped that what he’d said had made her feel a little better. He handed her a hanky from his trouser pocket. ‘Dry your eyes, love, and let’s get you out for some fresh air.’

Once outside in the hospital gardens, Frank handed out some stale bread from the hospital kitchens to a few of the women and soon a flock of sparrows were bobbing around the small group, along with a couple of pigeons.

Glenda was pleased to feel the warm sun on her face and thought how Johnnie would have enjoyed seeing all the chirping birds fluttering around.

Frank sat on a park bench beside her wheelchair.

‘Penny for them,’ he said gently.

‘I was just thinking about my Johnnie. He always chuckles when he sees birds,’ Glenda answered.

‘Does he?’ asked Frank. ‘Well, then, once you get home, I know a lovely little place we should take him to. You get all sorts of birds and wildlife there, lovely countryside, clean air, not like the dirty town pigeons and rotten air here.’

It sounded very inviting. Glenda would love to take Johnnie out to the country, but it was impossible with Harry the way he was. ‘Frank, you know I couldn’t, even if I wanted to.’

‘I’ve told you, Glenda, you can’t go back to living with that animal of a man. Look what he’s already done to you, and what if it’s worse next time? He could kill you and what about Johnnie then? Have you thought about that?’

‘Of course I have,’ Glenda answered, almost angrily, ‘but I don’t have any choice. I had this very same conversation with my friend Helen just this morning. Where would I go? What would I live on? Not only that, if I tried to leave Harry he would find me and then he’d definitely kill me.’

It felt hopeless to Glenda. She didn’t want to go back home to a man she no longer loved, a man who now terrified her, but she’d thought about leaving him before and had come to the same conclusion. With no other choice she would have to stick it out – to placate Harry by being the perfect wife so he didn’t lose his temper again. As Maude had said, sometimes it’s better the devil you know – yet that thought didn’t stop Glenda’s shiver of fear at what the future might hold.

Frank had always enjoyed his job, and for the last week the thought of seeing Glenda had made it even more of a pleasure to go to work. He had been leaving home early and coming home late, just so that he could spend some extra time with her. But this morning he felt glum as he sat at the kitchen table and drained the dregs of his tea. Glenda was due to be discharged from hospital and he couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing her again.

His brother Billy ambled into the kitchen and lifted the lid off the teapot.

‘Huh,’ he grumbled, ‘you didn’t bother saving me a cuppa.’

‘Sorry, Billy, I didn’t know you was up, and good morning to you too!’ answered Frank.

‘Good? What’s bloody good about it? It’s all right for you, drinking the last cup of tea and working in a warm hospital. What about me, eh, shovelling shit out there in the freezing cold? Still, least I’ve got a real job, not some poncy job like you.’

Frank rolled his eyes and ignored his brother’s quips. He was used to hearing Billy dig at him whenever the opportunity arose and had learned a long time ago to turn the other cheek. It was much easier that way and saved their mother any upset. Frank could never understand why Billy seemed to resent him so much. It had been frosty between them for years and had started when they were kids, with Billy moaning about having to have Frank’s hand-me-downs. It wasn’t as if the boy never got anything new for himself, but he was always jealous of anything Frank had.

Frank left Billy to sulk at the kitchen table and made his way to the hospital. He had arranged to meet Glenda for the last time in the canteen before his shift started. He hoped he would have the courage to ask her out but was worried about what her reaction would be.

As he walked into the canteen, Glenda was already seated and greeted him with a beaming smile. The swelling on her lip hadn’t quite subsided, which almost hid the gap where her teeth were missing, but Frank still thought she looked beautiful.

‘Good morning. You don’t ’alf brighten up a miserable day,’ said Frank with a wink and he noticed that Glenda blushed.

‘Morning, Frank. Is it miserable outside then?’

‘It’s a bit nippy but you’ll find out for yourself soon enough. What time are you off?’

‘Harry’s coming for me at ten-thirty. I can’t wait to see my Johnnie!’

‘I bet you can’t, and I bet he’s missed his mum too. I got to say it, Glenda – I hope I never see you in here again.’ He wanted to add that he would love to see her again somewhere other than the hospital, but the words stuck in his throat and he couldn’t get them out. He could have kicked himself.

‘I hope so too, Frank. This is the last place I ever want to be again, but thank you so much for being my friend in here. It’s been good to have someone to talk to. I’ve never really told anyone about what Harry does to me. I suppose I’ve been too ashamed. You’ve been such a good listener and I’ve really come to trust you. I’ll miss you.’

Frank reached across the table and took Glenda’s hand. ‘I’ll miss you too,’ he said. More than she would ever know.