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One of the most valuable resources for introspection and self – discovery is feedback from people who know you well. Close friends, family members, and even work colleagues can provide a unique perspective on your personality, behavior, and skills. It’s like a mirror showing you an unexpected side. But be prepared: sometimes this mirror can show more than just your best side.

Consider the following:

ü Choosing the right people:

When it comes to getting feedback, choosing the right people is crucial. This is one of those moments when quality is more important than quantity. You need people who know you well enough to give you an honest and meaningful assessment, while being objective enough that their opinions aren’t tinged with personal biases or emotions.

Let’s look at a few key aspects that you should pay attention to when choosing such people:

Depth of knowledge of you as a person: It is best to choose those who have known you for a long time and in different circumstances – friends who have spent a long time with you and have seen you in different situations, family members who know you from a different angle, or even long-time colleagues who have watched your professional growth and changes.

Honesty and objectivity: Look for people who are known for their directness and ability to tell the truth, even if it may be unpleasant. Feedback will be useless if it consists only of compliments or, conversely, unfounded criticism.

Respect and Trust: It is important that you respect and trust these people’s opinions. This will help you be more open to their words and more likely to take their advice seriously.

Ability to make constructive criticism: Good feedback isn’t just about listing your shortcomings or mistakes. This is more of a constructive analysis with suggestions for improvement. Therefore, choose those who know how to present their thoughts in such a way that they are useful and instructive.

Diversity of perspectives: It is useful to get opinions from different people to see yourself from different angles. For example, your family may know you on one side, your friends on the other, and your colleagues on the other.

Remember that the goal of receiving feedback is not to confirm an existing opinion about yourself, but to get a new, possibly eye-opening vision. It helps you grow as a person and develop in ways that you may not have noticed before.

ü Preparing for candor:

Getting honest feedback can be both rewarding and uncomfortable. It is not always pleasant to learn about your shortcomings or mistakes, but it is open and honest criticism that allows you to get the most accurate idea of how you are perceived by others and what aspects of your behavior or character may require improvement. Here are some recommendations on how to prepare for such feedback:

Tune in to a constructive perception: First of all, it is important to understand that the purpose of feedback is not to offend you, but to help you improve. Approach the process with an open mind and a willingness to learn.

Emotional preparation: Be prepared for the fact that some comments may hurt you. It is ok. It is important to be able to manage your emotions and not take criticism as a personal attack.

Create a comfortable environment: Choose a time and place where you can discuss feedback calmly and without haste. It should be an environment in which you feel safe and comfortable.

Active listening: Listen carefully to what is being said to you, try not to interrupt or make excuses. Ask clarifying questions if you don’t understand something, and reflect back on what you’ve heard to make sure you understand the other person correctly.

Write down your key points: Sometimes it’s helpful to take notes while receiving feedback. This will help you later rethink the information you received and develop an action plan.

Gratitude for Honesty: After you have received feedback, thank the person for their honesty and time. It shows your maturity and willingness to improve.

Remember that feedback is a gift. It gives you the opportunity to see yourself through the eyes of others and take steps towards personal growth and development.

ü The right approach to the conversation:

Feedback is not just a process of getting information about yourself, it is an opportunity for your growth and development. The right approach to such a conversation can significantly increase its effectiveness and usefulness. Here’s how to make this dialogue as effective as possible:

Think of this as an opportunity for growth: Approach the conversation from the perspective of a student, not a critic. Your goal is to understand how you can become a better person, not to defend yourself or make excuses.

Ask specific questions: Instead of general questions like» What do you think of me?», ask specific questions that will help you get useful feedback. For example, ask «In what situations do you see me showing leadership qualities?» or» What do you think I should work on in terms of communicating with colleagues?».

Create an open atmosphere: Show that you are open to honest opinions and open to constructive criticism. This will help the other person feel comfortable and be more open.

Focus on understanding: Your task is to understand the other person’s point of view, not to react immediately to their words. Listen carefully and try to catch the essence of his comments.

Use open nonverbal communication: Your facial expressions, gestures, and general body language should reflect your openness to dialogue and willingness to accept feedback.

Don’t be afraid to clarify: If you find any comments unclear or too general, don’t hesitate to ask for examples or clarifications. This will help you better understand exactly what you need to work on.

Remember that the purpose of this conversation is not to find out whether you are good or bad, but to get a real picture of how your actions and behavior are perceived by others. This knowledge will enable you to take conscious steps towards personal growth and improving your relationships with others.

ü Processing the received information:

Once you have received feedback, the next important step is to process and analyze it. As a rule, this is information that requires a careful and informed approach. Here are some tips on how to effectively process the feedback you receive:

Don’t rush to react: After receiving feedback, give yourself some time to think. Sometimes the first emotional reaction can be defensive, but it’s important to give yourself a chance to calmly digest the information.

Divide your feedback into categories: Try to categorize the comments you receive. Some of them may be aimed at improving your professional skills, while others may focus on personal qualities or communication. This will help you focus on specific aspects for improvement.

Analyze criticism: Try to separate constructive criticism from personal opinions. Not everything you are told will be objective or useful, but many comments can be the basis for self-improvement.

Look for general trends: If certain comments are repeated from different people, this may be a signal that this aspect really needs your attention.

Create an action plan: Identify what steps you can take to improve on the areas that were identified during the feedback process. Maybe it will be reading professional literature, attending trainings, working on communication skills, etc.

Treat it like a learning process: Remember that self-development is an ongoing process, and every step to improvement, even a small one, is important.

Share your findings: Sometimes it can be helpful to discuss your findings with those who have given you feedback. This can help deepen your understanding and even strengthen your relationships.

By taking feedback as an opportunity for growth and development, you can effectively use it to your advantage, turning potential shortcomings into opportunities for improvement.

ü Ready for changes:

Being ready for change is a key element in successfully accepting and using feedback. The ultimate goal of this process is not just to confirm aspects of your personality or behavior that you already know, but to open up new horizons for growth and self-improvement. Here are some tips on how to tune in to positive changes:

Openness to new things: Approach the information received with a willingness to consider new ideas and points of view. Remember that development and growth often occur outside your comfort zone.

Flexibility of perception: Be ready to reconsider your views and ideas about yourself. New information may require you to change your old beliefs or habits.

Accepting imperfections: Recognizing that you have areas for improvement is not a sign of weakness, but an indicator of self-awareness and a desire to grow.

Active steps to change: Identify specific actions that will help you improve the identified aspects. It can be anything from everyday small changes to big life decisions.

Track your progress: Document your plan and mark your progress. This will help you see how you are moving forward and keep you motivated.

Ready for continuous learning: See life as an endless learning process. Feedback is not the end, but the beginning of a new stage in your personal growth.

Remember that changes take time and patience. Don’t expect instant results and be kind to yourself throughout the whole process. Being ready for change is your ticket to personal development and a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

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And, of course, be prepared for the fact that some revelations may force you to reconsider your relationships with certain people. But don’t worry, most often such conversations only strengthen friendship and mutual understanding. I’m kidding. Probably.