Читать книгу The road to god: Chronicles of a former witch. Memoir - - Страница 5

Life before magic

Nikara was born into a large family. She was originally from Kazakhstan, the city of Almaty, just like her whole family.

Father and mother loved their children very much and took care of them in every possible way.

My father worked hard to not only feed his family, but also give them a good education.

The mother worked as a manicurist to make her husband’s life easier. However, her eyesight deteriorated and she had to quit her job and become a housewife.

Nikara was one of twins and besides them there was a younger son.

The family lived amicably, although finances were sorely lacking.

Nikara’s father is a believer, but was not baptized. He humbly prayed despite all the difficulties. He was a patient and calm person. His voice was low, it was enough to speak in a raised voice, and the noisy house immediately became quiet, as if the house was completely empty.

Their mother was strict, although she tried to be gentler with the children. She herself grew up in the same strictness, but she did not want her children to grow up in exactly the same severity in which she grew up.

Nikara and her sister fought over every little thing. When the mother’s word was not heard, the father intervened. Of course it was rare, but as they say, it was accurate.

As Nikara, her brother and sister grew up, Nikara became more withdrawn, while her sister, on the contrary, loved communication.

The younger brother began earning money from an early age. As soon as I graduated from school.

The girls, on the contrary, went to college after school, but despite this, they never went to work in their specialty.

Thus ended childhood and began teenage life.

– Remember? Komsomol member, athlete and simply beautiful…

This is how almost any story usually begins, but no!

It wasn’t about Nikara. A young girl who, from an early age, was different from others in that she was always a loner, but at the same time was interested in the universe.

School and college did not bear the fruits necessary for a good life, the friends that everyone dreams of, the love that one dreams of at 16 years old.

She often wondered about the earth, its creation and many other things that had to do with what was happening around her, not limited to geography and science.

As a schoolgirl, and later as a student, she tried to find at least one best friend.

Nikara was a pillow to cry on when one felt alone. She was a good listener and supported, but she didn’t know how to give advice…

However, she herself was deprived of such an attitude from her pseudo-friends.

But don’t think about it, sometimes she was invited to go for a walk.

– Remember the jokes? A beauty and a terrible friend.

It was about Nikara. But only as a terrible friend.

Her mother often told her:

– Nikara, you run after your friends like a shadow. Every time they call, you immediately drop everything and go to them.

– As much as you need their help, they don’t have time.

But Nikara answered her mother:

– Who should I be friends with and date? They are the only ones who are friends with me.

So the years flew by, friends came and went when it was convenient for them, and Nikara decided that it was better to be alone.

And so, Nikara, her brother and sister, already matured, entered adulthood. It happened like this…

Her sister gave birth to a son, got married and divorced, but loved her ex-husband very much. A couple of years later he died of a heart attack. She never found love again, but she met an older man, who later turned out to be a scoundrel.

The reason for their breakup was that he hit her so hard in front of her son that she started having convulsions in the hospital, she was in a position from him, he, knowing this, still raised his hand.

He gave her gifts and then demanded them back, but at that moment she needed money and she took it to a pawnshop, for which she received it. He himself promised to take care of them financially, but she never saw this. At the same time, he forbade her to work in every possible way, relying on his financial stability.

Nikara’s sister left him, but she lost her second child, and later it turned out that the child was deformed. During pregnancy, she herself felt unwell, could not eat or drink, and lost a lot of weight.

But she wasn’t the only one going through a difficult time in her life.

When the younger brother of two sisters went to work, he met a girl. Married early.

There were only two marriages. The first broke up due to the betrayal of his first wife.

The second marriage broke up because both were careerists and did not find a common language. Each of them believed that their work was more important.

But it was the second marriage that left a mark on his heart. After that there were more than enough girls, the guy was prominent, but they were different. Work, drinking, meeting friends and nervous breakdowns.

As is customary, in search of a miracle, the whole family turned to God in prayer for help.

– And you know what? It worked, although not immediately, but little by little his life returned to the right direction.

After graduating from college, Nikara changed jobs several times, eventually getting a job as a call center operator.

At the same time, Nikara met a young man and became pregnant, but her chosen one abandoned Nikara and her unborn child. Already in the womb, the child was diagnosed with heart disease. She had a hard time, starting from the second trimester of pregnancy, the diagnosis of the baby and their abandonment plunged her into depression. Frequent trips to the hospital frayed her nerves.

At 9 months she met another man. The romance had just begun when he immediately invited her to sign and register the baby as his own.

So Nikara gave birth and got married. Her husband Khoval lived with his wife and son in Nikara’s parental home. But he wanted to live separately. Since the child had open heart surgery at 6 months, he was given disability, but only for a year.

All the finances that belonged to the baby were spent on renting housing and, as it turned out, in vain.

Khoval had an accident, he was not injured, but was left without a car, the child’s disability was ending, Khoval had difficulties with work, and he had to spend the children’s money. Nikara herself and the baby were in the hospital every month, and their relationship with Khoval completely deteriorated.

After living for a year and a half, Khoval and Nikara divorced, he abandoned the child, but Nikara continued to take care of her son, her parents helped her.

She named her son Arnie. Arnie grew up as a very kind and loving boy, but after the operation he could not speak for a long time.

But if only she knew that the worst was yet to come.

One day, long-forgotten questions began to haunt Nikara. She asked herself:

– Why is everything happening this way? Am I to blame? But can I blame others?

Of course, there was no answer, because the dialogue was conducted with oneself. Without thinking twice, Nikara, tired of crying almost every day about everything, decided to distract herself through the Internet.

By chance, she came across videos and news about worse things happening in the world than what she and everyone in her family experienced. Disasters, illnesses, murders and violence – this is what she stumbled upon in her search for something that could distract her from what was happening in her life, but such distraction is impossible.

Then Nikara said to herself:

– I’m so tired of nothing changing in my life, maybe I’ll try to help at least someone?

With these words, Nikara’s adventure into the world of medicine began. She began to study the topic of blood problems around the world, the main diseases that affected many people, no matter where they were in the world.

A little later Nikara asked herself a new question:

– Why were there no attempts by scientists in their laboratories to test such a theory, which states that a disease can be treated with a disease… A kind of vaccine of one disease from another…

In an attempt to appeal to the world, in the hope that at least someone would hear her, she began writing video messages, which, by the way, to put it mildly, did not yield results.

She was even more confused by the fact that everywhere, some people were looking for reasons to ruin the lives of others. Namely, nationalism, simply the desire of individuals to suppress those who are not like them…

We are all flesh and blood. Today a person has money, tomorrow he doesn’t, today a person hates another for his appearance, and tomorrow these same people who were disgusted with him will help when people like him reject him, because they unconsciously see themselves in him.

Nikara thought it was great that we were different: in body type, hair color, eye color and much more. Once again, she is reaching out to the world through social media. As you already understood, this was of no use to anyone.

The funny thing is that, having achieved nothing in her own life, she zealously shouted to the world that was avoiding her.