Читать книгу Rom-Com Collection - Kristan Higgins - Страница 26
ОглавлениеCHAPTER SIXTEEN
TWO HOURS LATER, Faith walked into the warm Friday night roar that was O’Rourke’s and went straight to Colleen, keeper of all information. “He’s here,” Coll said, “third booth in the back, adorable, nice manners, hint of a Southern drawl.” Her friend grinned and pulled a beer for Wayne Knox. Looked like the volunteer fire department was having a “meeting.” Gerard, Neddy-bear, Jessica Does and Kelly Matthews were all grouped on one side of the bar, howling with laughter.
“How do I look?” Faith asked her.
Colleen leaned over the bar and gave Faith’s shirt a tug to show more flesh. “There. Work the assets, girlfriend. Am I right, boys?”
The males of the fire department agreed heartily. “Can’t go wrong with boobs,” Everett Field said.
“I babysat you,” Faith returned.
“I remember. I think about it all the time.” He received a hearty slap on the back from Gerard Chartier, his comrade-in-ogling.
“Get going,” Coll said. “Jeremy’s already over there, chatting him up.”
“Jeremy’s here?”
“Yeah. He and Levi usually come in on Fridays.”
“Their weekly date?” Faith couldn’t help asking.
“I must say, Levi is looking über-hot these days,” Coll said. “Those arms! Honestly, he comes in wearing a T-shirt and I actually have an orgasm. Here’s your white wine spritzer, Mrs. Boothby.” She ignored the disapproving glare from the florist. “Your dad is also here,” Colleen added, “speaking of men who—”
“Oops! There’s the line, don’t cross it.” Faith went to the far side of the bar where her father was talking to—oh, hemorrhoid, to Levi. “Hi, Dad. You look nice.” He did—he was showered, for one, and wore a rugby-style shirt rather than his usual tattered flannel.
“Hello, sweetpea,” Dad said, giving her a one-armed hug.
“Faith,” said the police chief.
“Levi.” Amazing how he could irritate her just by saying her name.
“You’re on a date, I hear,” Dad said.
“I am,” she said. “Hopefully it won’t be a mistake. Or a bad idea. Or a blunder.”
Levi sighed and stared into the middle distance.
“I’m sure it won’t be,” her father said. “Well, you go have a good time, honey. I’ll be here if you need me.”
“Thanks, Dad.” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “Are you here alone?”
“I’m meeting Lorena.”
“Oh.” She tried not to flinch. So far, she’d screened and dismissed the women of eCommitment/SeniorLove, and her efforts to engage Cathy Kennedy in conversation about her sainted father had fallen with a thud. “Okay, well...there are other fish in the lake, Dad.”
“What kind of fish?”
“Fish who don’t wear cheetah-print bras with see-through shirts and ask what your bank balance is,” she said, referencing Sunday’s dinner conversation, which had caused Mrs. Johnson to growl audibly.
Dad still looked clueless. “Never mind, Dad. Just don’t get married without checking with me first.”
Her father laughed. “Listen to her, Levi. Half the time I have no idea what she’s talking about.”
“I know the feeling,” Levi said.
Ooh. “Well. My date awaits.”
“Have fun,” Levi said.
“Yes, honey, have fun!” Dad said. “I’m ready for more grandchildren. Just keep that in mind.” He pinched her chin. “Levi, don’t I have the prettiest daughters?”
“You do,” he answered, his glance flicking over Faith, pausing for just a microsecond on her boobage. “Got your list?” he added.
Faith didn’t deign to answer (but, yes, it was in her purse). She took a calming breath and went to the third booth. There was Jeremy, looking utterly beautiful, talking to Ryan, she assumed.
“Faith!” Jeremy jumped up, kissed her cheek, his smile as warm and bright as if it had been years since they’d seen each other and not hours. “You look beautiful, as always. Let me introduce Ryan Hill, my accountant.”
Ryan was adorable. Go, Jeremy! Dimples, honey-colored hair, blue eyes. He stood up and shook her hand, smiling. “Great to meet you, Faith.” And he had a drawl! Colleen was right! Oh, sigh!
“I’ll leave you two alone,” Jeremy said. “Have a nice time!” He grinned happily and wandered off toward the bar.
“Super guy,” Ryan said.
“Absolutely,” Faith agreed.
“So you two were engaged, he said?”
“Yes,” Faith admitted, glad to have it out of the way. “We met in high school, before he, um...came out.”
The waitress, one of the many O’Rourke cousins, came over, bringing Faith a glass of Blue Heron’s dry Riesling, courtesy of Colleen, who waved from behind the bar. Ryan asked what was good here, and Faith recommended the nachos grande, which she hadn’t had since Tuesday and was hence suffering serious withdrawal. “Sounds great,” Ryan said. “If you like them, I’m sure I will, too.” Oh! Southern charm!
They exchanged pleasantries until the food arrived—jobs, college, where they grew up—and not a red flag to be found. In fact, Faith was feeling the tingle, oh, yeah. Ryan’s cuteness, combined with Jeremy’s recommendation, had her feeling truly hopeful for the first time since Clint Bundt, the Lying Liar of Lie-Land. No, Ryan was definitely her best prospect since gay Rafael (who’d just texted her a picture of the hors d’oeuvres choices they were considering for their wedding, wanting her opinion).
Definitely better than Levi, who was an ass-pain.
Nope. Not another thought of Levi would be entertained tonight, no way.
As if reading her mind, Levi looked at her from across the bar, those sleepy green eyes causing certain parts of her anatomy to tighten in a hot, slow clench.
Damn. Colleen was right. Levi Cooper was sex on a stick. Sex against the wall, on the floor, on the table, on...other naughty surfaces...dirty, sweaty, delicious sex...not that Faith had any firsthand experience with that. But she could imagine it, quite graphically, in fact. Especially while staring at the man in question.
Oopsy. Her mouth was slightly open, and she was possibly a little flushed. She forced herself to look at her date, who smiled politely.
Right. Concentrate on the perfectly nice man who actually seems to like you, Faith. “So,” she said. “Let’s cut to the chase. I’m the youngest of four, two sisters, one brother. My dad is sitting at the bar over there, so don’t get fresh. I love my job, my grandparents, Ben and Jerry, and my dog, who is, I should tell you up front, the greatest canine the world has ever known.”
“Can’t wait to meet him,” Ryan said. “Keep on going, Miss Faith.”
She smiled. “Well, in my free time, I like to eat out, I do Pilates—” well, she intended to do Pilates, one of these days “—and I love violent, scary movies and romantic comedies. I’d like to be in a serious, committed relationship with a man who’s not married, not a deadbeat dad, has a job and isn’t gay. With me so far?”
“Are you kidding?” Ryan said with another fantastic dimpled smile. “I’m halfway in love with you already.”
“Get outta town, you big liar,” Faith said. Yay, Jeremy! She grinned, just happening to catch a glimpse of Levi. He was watching. That’s right! Suck it up, Chief, she thought, finishing her wine. “Your turn, Ryan.”
“Not so fast, there. Jeremy tells me you have a list,” Ryan said. He tore off a hunk of nachos and held it up to her mouth. Huh. Feeding her already? Was that icky, or adorable?
Adorable, Faith, adorable. Still, a bit awkward, since the sour cream was a little drippy. But still. A good sign (she hoped).
“I do have a list,” Faith said, wiping her mouth. “It’s sort of...Machiavellian.”
“Sounds fun.” Ryan gave her a steamy look.
“Really?”
“Mmm-hmm. Give it to me, baby.”
“Oh...yeah, okay, I can do that.” She paused. “Now?”
“Sure.”
“Okay.” She opened her purse and took out the well-worn list. “This is just the big stuff, you know, to make sure I shouldn’t run screaming from the bar.”
Another dimpled smile. “Please don’t, Miss Faith.”
He was so cute. “Okay, so...have you ever been in prison?”
“Not yet.”
“Yay! You have an A so far. Next question: Have you fathered any children, and do you pay child support, if so?”
“No kids. Not yet.”
Another excellent answer. Not yet, implying that he wanted them in the future. He was an A+ now.
“Okay, last major question, and then we can get into things like moonlit walks and old movies—”
“I love old movies. And moonlit walks.”
Well, you couldn’t have everything. “How many women have you slept with?”
Ryan had to think about that one. “Uh...ten?”
Ten? Ten! That seemed like a lot. Then again, if you figured he was thirty-two years old (thank you, Google), and say he’d first had sex around age seventeen (because with those dimples, he wasn’t getting out of high school a virgin), that was fifteen years of single heterosexual male having sex. So—Faith did some quick math in her head—that was 0.667 women per year. Which sounded very weird but maybe wasn’t that many? Even if it sounded like a lot of people?
“I had a pretty serious girlfriend right out of college,” he said in his adorable drawl. “Figured we’d get married, you know? But she left me, broke my heart.” He gave her a puppy dog look. “Since then, I just haven’t been able to find the right person.”
Okay, okay, that was tolerable. Sort of. But still. Ten.
“No diseases, by the way,” he added.
Granted, she’d need medical confirmation. Should she ask for his doctor’s name now, or wait? Maybe waiting would be good.
She glanced over at Levi, who was no longer looking at her. Fine. Let him ignore her. “Thanks for answering my questions, Ryan. You’re very tolerant.”
“You’re quite welcome. Hey. You wanna get our first kiss over with?” He smiled. “I find it makes things more relaxed, without us having to worry about how that’ll go.”
“Um...okay.” Another glance at Levi. You know what? Yes. Let him see her kissing someone else. She leaned over the table, moving the nachos first (wouldn’t do to have guacamole on the boobage) and gave Ryan a quick kiss on the lips, then quickly sat back down.
Was there a tingle? Too fast to tell. A quick glance at Levi, who was lifting his beer glass. Damn it. His arm made her tingle.
“That was very nice,” Ryan said. “A little sting from the jalapenos, but I kinda liked it. Sweet, with a little bite.”
“That’s me,” Faith said.
His expression became rather wolfish. “Really.”
“Well, I don’t actually know, but...it’s sort of me, maybe.” Flustered, she took a bite of nachos. Hannah O’Rourke (or possibly Monica) brought her another glass of wine, bless her.
“So I have a list of my own,” Ryan said.
“You do? That’s great!” Kindred spirits. Made her feel less freakish.
“You ready?”
“Sure.” She sat back and smiled. “Fire away.” She took a bite of the nachos.
Ryan grinned. “Do you like being spanked?”
She sucked a bit of jalapeno into her lung and wheezed. “Excuse me?” She coughed (and coughed, and coughed), then took a sip of her wine. “Um...I can’t really say. I’ve never been...spanked.”
“So you’re a spanking virgin?” He licked his lips.
“I— You know, I think that book everyone was reading last year? That may have given the wrong impression. You know, about women wanting to have violence perpetrated against them. So. That’s off the table.”
“How about handcuffs?”
“Again...uh...not a lot of experience. And not seeking any.” Crap. Was there a way to keep this date from going down the toilet faster than her black wraparound sweater? Her brain groped around for a solution and came up empty.
“Do you like being submissive? Would you have a problem calling me Master?”
“No, and yes. That’s really not my thing, Ryan. Maybe we can shift course here, huh?”
“Hey.” The puppy dog look returned. “I answered your questions. It’s only fair.”
Faith took a slow breath. It’d be so nice to just walk away now. She could. However, she really didn’t feel like seeing the look on Levi’s face if she did. “Fine. Go for it.”
“Great!” Ryan clapped like a little kid. “Would you like it if I locked you in my boudoir for twelve hours and only left you a glass of water?”
“Do men have boudoirs? Because that’s a very girly term to me. And no. I’d get very hungry.”
“I see. I suppose I could slide some slices of baloney under the door.”
“Baloney? I’d need more than that.”
“Maybe some American cheese?”
“No,” Faith said. “I would require a gourmet pizza with shrimp, mustard and pesto from The Red Salamander, a bottle of chardonnay, and at least one pint of Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Brittle.”
“I see.”
“Also, I wouldn’t let you lock me anywhere. I’d kick you in the nuts if you tried that, buddy.”
“Oh! Awesome!” Ryan beamed. For the love of all that was holy... “What if I came in dressed as Zorro with absolutely nothing on under my cape?”
“You look nothing like Antonio Banderas. I would have to reject you. I imagine I’d laugh.” Jeremy was going to have to pay for this, oh, yes indeedy. And speaking of the town’s beloved doctor, where was he? “Hannah? Can we have the—”
Ah, hell. Levi was looking at her, a slight smirk on his face. And even if Ryan was a pervert with a terrible imagination, at least he was into her. “Never mind,” she told the girl. She turned her gaze back to Ryan of the Debauched Dimples. “Next question.”
“Great! Okay, say you were my cleaning woman, and you were on your hands and knees in my kitchen and I came in. What would you say?”
“I’d say, ‘Why is this floor so filthy? Can’t you learn to lean over the table?’”
“And I would say, ‘Take off the uniform, Cinder-Slut, and put your skills to other uses.’”
Faith folded her hands. “I would say, ‘No, sir, I will not! I require that you hie unto the market and buy me the Clorox Cleanup I asked you to get last week.’”
Ryan looked a little confused. “Uh...then I’d say, ‘Do as I say, serving wench!’”
“No, no, that won’t work,” Faith said, “See, I’m the cleaning lady, not the serving wench. Now I lost my character’s motivation. Scene.”
“You’re not doing this right, Faith,” he said, a sulky note in his voice.
“And you’re a fairly unimaginative perv,” she returned. “The maid is the best you can come up with? Yawn.”
Ryan’s phone buzzed. “I have to answer this,” he grumbled.
“By all means,” she said. Someone plunked into the seat next to her.
“Hey, Pru!” Faith said. “How’s it going?”
“Great. Got a quick question for you. Am I interrupting?”
“Not one bit.” Ryan was muttering into the phone, his hand cupped around it so she wouldn’t hear.
“Okay, well, here’s the thing. Carl’s sexting me.”
“Wow. I... Wow.”
“Check this out. What color panties r u wearing? Do I tell the truth? Because I think it’s the ones with the squirrels riding their little sleds. Or should I make something up?”
“Um, you know, do what you think is best,” Faith said. More wine would be called for very soon.
“Tell him you got on a red thong, and you want him to take it off with his teeth,” Ryan offered, pausing in his phone conversation. “Or even better, tell him you’re not wearing any panties at all. And that you’d like to play serving wench and master when you get home.”
Prudence stared at him. “This is your date?” she asked Faith.
“Sorry to say, yes, he is.”
“I have to go,” Ryan said. “My mama has a wax ball in her ear. Faith, what do you say? Wanna hook up? The ear will only take a minute, and it’s easier with two people, since she needs to be restrained.”
“I’ll take a pass,” Faith said. “Good luck.” Ryan threw a few bills down on the table and left, grumbling about the lies of erotic fiction.
Pru was texting. “Being sexy is exhausting,” she said. “I’m wearing a thong,” she narrated. “Come and get it, big boy. You know what I miss, Faith? My periods. At least then, I’d have a few days off. And when a woman yearns for her periods, that’s a sign that the end of days is coming.” Her phone chirped, and she paused to read. “Ah, shit. Look at this.”
She shoved her phone across the table so Faith could read. am deeply disturbed. be more careful with the send button, for the love of god. will accept gifts to undo the psychological damage just inflicted. xox your son, Ned
“I think I might divorce Carl if this keeps up,” Pru said. “Okay. Gotta go screw my husband. Sorry your date was an ass. Talk tomorrow.” Her sister kissed her on the cheek and left.
Faith slid out of the booth. Jeremy was gone, apparently, but Levi was still at the bar, and Dad, as well as Jack now, too. And speaking of Dad, he seemed to be having a good time...and with a woman! Oh, with two! How thrilling! Cathy Kennedy, chooser of odd Bible verses but otherwise quite nice, and another woman Faith didn’t know. Levi said something, allowing a faint hint of a smile cross his face. Faith’s girl parts gave a sudden, hard tug.
“Sweetpea! Over here!” Dad called, and wasn’t he in the most jocular mood tonight! At least one of them was having luck with the opposite gender. She went to her dad, who slipped an arm around her, and smiled broadly at her potential stepmother.
“Honey, you remember Mrs. Kennedy, right?”
“Of course I do, Dad. Nice to see you again, Mrs. Kennedy. I had a great time at Bible Study the other day.”
“Call me Cathy, sweetie. This is my wife, Louise.”
Hemorrhoid! Why were all the good ones gay? “Very nice to meet you, Louise,” Faith said, trying not to sigh.
“You’re going to Bible Study?” Jack muttered.
“With Goggy,” she muttered back.
“Trying to get the house in the will?”
“I think I’ve earned it, don’t you?”
“Wasn’t that the most interesting verse?” Mrs. Kennedy said. “Boys, we were discussing the history of blood rituals in the Old Testament. Circumcision, human sacrifice, that sort of thing.”
“Makes me a believer,” Jack said.
“This verse was about circumcision with a flint stone,” Faith added, giving her big brother a look. “You wonder why some traditions die out. I mean, flint was good enough back then...why fix it if it ain’t broke?”
“So how was the crop this year, John?” Mrs. Kennedy asked, and Dad started on his favorite subject.
“How was your date, sis?” Jack asked.
“Wonderful,” she answered, as Levi was in hearing range. “Very charming guy.” But Levi wasn’t looking at her; instead, he stood up and opened his arms as his sister approached. Sarah Cooper dropped her backpack and went right to her brother, hugging him tight.
“Thank God I’m home,” Sarah said. “I thought my brain would explode.”
“From an entire week at college?” Levi said.
“Listen, G.I. Joe. You have no idea how hard it is.” She rested her head on his shoulder, and Levi kissed her hair, and the gesture was so unexpectedly sweet and natural that Faith found herself...softening. Levi might be a pain in the ass, but his sister loved him. Jack, on the other hand, had only done things like film her seizures and hide in her closet with a knife when she was nine.
“I can’t imagine you giving me a hug in public,” she told him.
“Me, neither,” Jack said. “You’re so irritating.”
“No, I’m not,” she said, grinning. “I’m your favorite sister.”
“Only because you used to live three thousand miles away,” he said. “These days, it’s a toss-up.”
“Well, even if you wanted to hug me, I’d never let you, because you smell funny and don’t know how to eat in public and—oof!”
Jack had grabbed her in a bear hug, lifting her off her feet. “God, you’re heavy,” he grunted. “Lay off those Girl Scout cookies.”
“Shut up and put me down,” she said, smacking him on the head.
Dad was watching with a smile in his eyes. “You’re so much like your mom,” he said.
The words, intended as a compliment, made Faith’s smile slip.
“Thanks,” Jack answered. “I get that a lot.” Then he noticed Colleen smiling at him, and his grin disappeared.
“Don’t be scared, Jack,” Colleen said. “I only bite on request.”
“Well, I’m heading home,” Dad said. “Jack, you ready?” Her father tousled Faith’s hair. “’Night, sweetie. Oh, hi, there, Sarah, how are you?”
“Hi, Mr. Holland,” she said. “I’m fine, how are you?”
“I’m going, too,” Faith said, her heart sinking a little. Another crappy date. Ah, well. At least she hadn’t wasted too much time running a background check. She’d go home, cuddle with Blue, call Jeremy and give him the report, then discuss how he’d make this up to her. “Have a good night, everyone.”
“Hey, Faith,” Sarah said. “Um...do have a second? I was wondering if I could talk to you. About San Francisco?”
Faith glanced at Levi who was on the phone, then back at Sarah. “Sure, honey.”
“Your nephew? Ned?” Her cheeks blossomed with color. “He was telling me you’d been out there a few years. Do you like it?”
A crush, how sweet! “I love it out there. It’s gorgeous.”
Levi shoved his phone back in his pocket. “Sarah, I have to go on a call. You want to come?”
“What is it this time?” Sarah asked. “Another chicken under the porch?”
“It’s actually a possum in the Hedbergs’ basement. Their dog went crazy, which scared the cat out the window, so now they’re afraid a coyote will eat the cat.”
“Isn’t there animal control in this town?” Sarah asked.
“Yes, but the guy’s old, and it’s past ten.”
“I’ll pass. Meet you at home.” She turned back to Faith. “So, did you like living away? I just can’t imagine living anywhere but here. I mean, I remember how you were, um...left at the altar. Maybe you went because you... Oh, jeesh. Sorry if I’m bringing up bad memories or whatever.” Sarah grimaced.
“No, no, that’s fine. Common knowledge.” Alas.
“Faith, can I talk to you for a minute?” Levi said.
He didn’t wait for an answer, just took her by the arm and towed her away. The simple touch made her entire arm buzz with heat. Levi’s green flannel shirt made his eyes look darker, and crikey, he had big, manly hands. So...alpha. Colleen said big hands meant—
These lustful thoughts will send you straight to hell, her conscience chided in the sharp voice of Mrs. Linqvest.
“So, listen,” Levi said.
“Yes, sir, Chief Cooper.”
“Sarah’s got some serious homesickness going on. Trying to drop out of college and move back here. I’d really like her to get an education. So if you two are talking about living away, I’d appreciate it if you encouraged that. I don’t want her to end up here because she never gave anything else a chance.” He ran a big hand through his hair, and Faith’s inner slut gave a moan. She remembered that hair, the soft, silky—I’m serious, said Mrs. Linqvest. Knock it off. He shoved his hands in his pockets, the fabric of his shirt straining against those thick, masculine arms.
Faith cleared her throat. “No, I get it. Everyone should live away from home, at least for a while.”
His eyes came back to hers. “Exactly.”
His eyelashes were awfully nice, long and straight and blond.
“You go get that possum,” Faith said. It sounded vaguely sexual, for some reason. Yes, Levi. Get that possum. Don’t stop getting it. Get it good. Mrs. Linqvest got out the ruler. “I’ll hang out with your sister. We can walk home together.”
“Thank you.”
The words caused a warm, liquid rush through her knees. “You’re welcome,” she said, her voice a little husky.
Then he turned and left, raising his hand as someone called a good-night to him.
* * *
BY THE TIME LEVI GOT BACK from the call (the possum having been flushed out through the hole in the stone foundation, the hole temporarily patched with the help of young Andrew, and the cat found safe and sound, much to the sobbing relief of the Hedberg girls), O’Rourke’s was mostly empty. “Did my sister go home?” he asked Colleen, who was wiping down the bar.
“Faith said they were going out on the beach,” she said. “Don’t know if they’re still there.”
“Thanks.”
Levi went out the back door, past the parking lot where he’d pulled Faith from the window. That seemed like a long time ago. He wouldn’t mind seeing her in that black bra again, that was for sure. Or out of it.
Shit. He shouldn’t be having those thoughts again. Faith was...well, she wasn’t his type. Too—too much, that was all. Too delicious edible complicated. He should not have kissed her that morning. That had been really, really stupid. Hadn’t planned it, that’s for sure, but one kiss, and he’d felt an almost violent rush of lust slam into him, heavy and thick and immediate. Her mouth was so soft—all of her was so soft, like a bed you could sink into—and the smell of her, as inviting as cake warm from the oven, and when she’d made that little sound, he’d nearly lost it. Pulled back because if he’d kissed her another second, he’d have done her against the wall.
And that kind of thing, that got a little...out of control.
Faith was, first and foremost, Jeremy’s ex. Whatever the circumstances, Jeremy was her first love, and Levi didn’t like the thought of being runner-up to his best friend. And secondly, there was that overwhelming sense of being lost in the moment, being oblivious. He didn’t like that. He’d felt that twelve years ago when he’d kissed her, a kiss that had erased common sense and loyalty and whatever else that mattered.
And thirdly...she wasn’t even here permanently. John Holland had told him he was hoping Faith would stay in Manningsport. But the truth was, she had a whole life back in California. Once before, he’d fallen in love with a woman who’d left him. He shouldn’t charge head-on into doing it again.
Not that he was in love with Faith Holland.
The town beach was actually a little park—grass and some flowering trees, a few benches, a boat launch, a dock and a tiny sand beach at the edge of the lake. Stars dotted the sky, but no moon was out, and it took Levi’s eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness after the pinkish glow of the streetlights. There were Sarah and Faith, sitting on a bench, their shoulders touching, looking out over the dark water. Their backs were to him, so they didn’t see him approach across the grass.
He stopped at the sound of Sarah’s laugh. Hadn’t heard that for a while.
“No, but seriously, I know how you feel,” Faith said. “My mom died when I was young, too.”
“How old were you?”
“Twelve.”
“Sheesh. That sucks.”
“Yeah. Car accident.”
“So no time for goodbye?”
“Right.”
Sarah chewed that over. “I guess at least I had that.”
“Both ways are tough. There’s no getting around it. It’s so hard.”
“Do you still think about your mom?” Sarah asked.
“Oh, yeah,” Faith said. “Every day.”
Levi did, too. Every day, some thought of his mom would cross his mind—her energy, her total lack of self-pity. Even when she was doped up on morphine, she’d make him and Sarah laugh.
There was an unusual tightness in his throat.
“There are days when I’m so sad, I don’t think I can even get out of bed,” Sarah said now, her voice small. “All I want is my mom, and I have to go to classes and listen to all that stuff, and it just seems so shallow and meaningless, when I’d trade in everything for just another regular day with her.” His sister’s voice broke, and Faith put an arm around her.
“I’m sorry, honey,” she said. Nothing else, just that. She stroked Sarah’s hair in an unconscious way, idly, her head tipped against Sarah’s. Just petted her hair and let his sister cry.
“I know I should get over it,” Sarah said. “It’s been more than a year.”
“Well,” Faith said, “you don’t really get over it. You just learn to carry it better. And the only way to do that is to do the regular things. Get out of bed. Go to classes. Try to be normal, and pretty soon all that grief you carry...it gets easier.”
“That’s what Levi says,” Sarah said after a minute.
“I guess he’s not always a dope, then.”
“Most of the time, he is.”
“Yeah, I’d agree with you there.” There was a smile in Faith’s voice.
“I just...I feel her more when I’m here,” his sister said. “That’s why I don’t want to be at school.”
A pain stabbed Levi’s chest. Why didn’t his sister tell him that? Why did she whine about hard classes and her lack of friends if that wasn’t the real issue?
He thought he might know the answer.
Because he didn’t let her.
“Do you ever talk to her?” Sarah asked.
“Oh, sure,” Faith answered. She was lying, Levi thought.
“Does she ever answer? Like, do you ever think her spirit’s with you or something?”
Faith was quiet for a few seconds. “Yeah, I do.” Another lie, telling Sarah what she wanted to hear. “How about you?”
“Definitely. Levi just looks at me funny when I say that, but I feel her around sometimes.”
“Well, he’s a guy. They’re pretty thick.” There was another smile in Faith’s voice, and Levi felt the corner of his mouth tug.
“Total cement,” Sarah said.
“Lead.”
“Exactly.” Sarah straightened up and blew her nose. “Were you homesick when you first left?”
“Oh, yeah. I missed this place so much it actually hurt. I had a stomachache for weeks.”
“I know!”
“But, Sarah, if you stayed here and passed up on the chance to live away and be your own person, rather than Levi’s little sister...wouldn’t you always wonder what you missed?”
Good girl, Faith.
“I guess. I mean, theoretically, I do want to go to college and stuff. Live away, at least for a while. But it’s hard.”
“I know, honey.” Faith was quiet for a minute. “You know the saying. Everything worthwhile in life is hard.”
“Yeah. Levi quotes it on a daily basis.” Sarah stretched her arms over her head. “I should get home.” She turned, and, seeing him there, gave a little shriek. “Jeez! Levi! You shouldn’t just stand there like a serial killer! Say something next time!”
“I just got here, so settle down,” he said. “You two ready to call it a night?”
Faith stood up and brushed off her skirt. “Chief. How was the possum?”
“Feisty,” he said. Her white shirt glowed in the darkness. “Walk you home, girls?”
“So what’s your favorite thing to do in San Fran?” Sarah asked, trotting backward so she could see Faith as they walked up Lake Street, and Faith talked about the weather, the flowers, the food, the views. She made it sound like the best place on earth.
“Maybe I’ll go there for a semester,” Sarah said. “My school has swap programs with a bunch of colleges.”
Well, hell.
“It’s a great city,” Faith said. “Definitely look into it. If I’m still there, we could get together.”
They walked past the now-quiet green, the shops dark. “Look up there,” Faith said, and sure enough, a light was on in her apartment, silhouetting her dog as he stood with his paws on the windowsill. “Hi, Blue! Be there in a minute,” she called.
Levi held the door, and Faith’s hair brushed his chin as she went in, enveloping him in that smell. He followed her up the stairs. Great legs.
“Thanks for hanging out,” Sarah said as Levi unlocked their door.
“Oh, honey, it was really nice,” Faith answered.
“Sorry if I was a total drag.”
“You weren’t. Are you kidding?” She smiled and opened her own door, and her dog bounded out, dancing with joy.
“Hi, poochie!” Sarah said, bending to pet him. The dog licked her chin and whined. “Aw, what a sweetie you are!” She scratched his ears, then straightened. “Good night!” With that she went inside.
Levi didn’t follow. He waited till the door closed instead, just looked at Faith, who’d reached inside her door and gotten Blue’s leash. She bent over and clipped it on, giving him a glimpse of the mighty rack, then straightened up.
“Yes, Levi?” she said, sighing.
Then damn if he wasn’t kissing her again, but there he was, his mouth on hers, a surprised little squeak coming from her throat. His hands cupped her face, and part of his brain barked out something about how stupid he was. The rest of him, however, was all for it. Her lips were soft and pliant, and, yeah, she was kissing him back.
Then she gave him a hard shove, and he stepped back, feeling blurry and slow.
“So what is this, Levi? You’re just going to blindside me with a kiss every once in a while?” she whispered.
Blue jumped against her like this was the best idea he’d ever heard, his tail whacking against the wall. She gave the dog an idle pat, but she looked mad. He couldn’t blame her.
“Sorry,” he said.
“You’re so damn confusing,” she hissed. “Really. I mean, I get the impression that you can’t stand me, then after my seizure, you were incredibly nice and helpful, then you kiss me, then you ignore m—”
Ah, hell, he was kissing her again. If nothing else, it did shut her up. And he liked her mouth doing something other than yapping at him. Soft and sweet and hot. He drew her against him, and she didn’t resist. Instead, her hands slid into his hair, and she kissed him back, that sweet little noise coming from her once more. Then she let go.
“Stop it,” she whispered against his mouth. He obeyed. Her eyes were wide and blue, and she looked a little dazed.
“Thanks for talking to my sister,” he murmured, forcing himself to step back.
“You’re welcome,” she said after a beat, licking her lips. God, he wished she wouldn’t do that. Just made him want to instead. She swallowed. “I, um...I have to walk my dog.”
“Okay.”
She walked down the hall, stopping to glance back at him. And because he didn’t know what to say, he just looked at her, that soft, pretty package, her silly strappy shoes and now-messed-up hair and happy dog.
Then she went down the stairs, and he leaned against the wall, wondering exactly what the hell he was doing.
