Читать книгу The Daughter He Wanted - Kristina Knight - Страница 14
ОглавлениеPAIGE REACHED FOR her glass, took a slow sip of tea. Have dinner?
No, that was a bad idea, with a capital B and I for emphasis.
They were supposed to keep this friendly, get to know one another.
Still, her heart had leaped in her chest at his words, and she knew they were so much more than friendly.
Her reaction was similar to the ones she’d had toward her crushes in high school. The flying feeling that accompanied her wild trip to Texas over spring break; the excitement at seeing how her father’s face practically glowed when he learned she was dating one of his students. Every single one of those situations had ended with a loud implosion and weeks of Paige picking herself up and putting herself back together.
Dinner was an exceptionally bad idea.
She finished her glass and, because her hands wanted to fidget, she set the glass away from her and then folded them primly in her lap. Squeezed her fingers until her knuckles turned white as a reminder to remain calm. Poised. Fidgeting was a sign of weakness according to Dot; weakness was not tolerated.
“Are you asking me out on a date?” She wished the words back but it was too late.
Alex slipped his finger around the middle of his glass, making a gap in the condensation on the outside. “Yeah, I am.”
Paige looked through the sliding glass doors, but Alison was nowhere to be seen. For that matter neither was Tuck, and Kaylie was across the yard at the sandbox, having given up on swinging from the trapeze. No one to come to her rescue. No one to interrupt what was going to be a very uncomfortable conversation.
She cleared her throat. “Why?”
“Because you interest me. No one has interested me in...well, a long time.” He squinted as he looked into the bright afternoon sunshine. “I want to get to know you. Dinner seems like a good option.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. We barely know each other.”
“That’s how dating usually starts—with two people who don’t really know each other but who want to get to know one another.” He finished his tea. “I think it would be good if I knew Kaylie’s mom a little better.”
Kaylie was the perfect excuse to turn him down, Paige decided. “I don’t date, not really. I especially don’t date men who have a connection to my daughter. She’s just a little girl, she can’t understand the emotions that go into dating—or stopping dating, for that matter.”
“It’s only dinner. A chance for me to get to know Paige, not just Kaylie’s mom. A chance for you to understand Alex rather than the anonymous number on the sperm-donor sheet.”
“We did that already. Coffee last Friday, remember? You know I’m a schoolteacher, I know you’re a park ranger and we’ve already agreed that you’ll start out as Kaylie’s friend before we move to the more serious stuff.” She had to remain firm on this. For Kaylie.
Maybe a little bit for herself. Because look how interested she was in him now and she’d only known him for a few days.
“One coffee date, and we never touched on your actual art. Your plans for the future. Mine, for that matter.” Alex pushed away from the table. “I like what I know of Paige-the-Woman. I’d like to get to know more about her.”
Oh, so dangerous. Getting to know the real Paige. Would that be the Paige who helped to plastic-wrap the police cruiser the night of the big ice storm? Or would that be the Paige who scored exceptionally high on her SATs only to choose art school over an Ivy League education?
Or maybe he’d like to know the Paige who used men as a means of getting her parents’ attention. She’d been living down Fun Paige’s reputation for almost five years, since the night she broke things off with the law student and decided to change the direction of her life.
Most people didn’t mention all the hell she’d raised as a kid. Most of them, even Mrs. Purcell, welcomed her back to the quiet community in the Missouri countryside just before Kaylie was born. She was grateful for the welcome. For their acceptance of her and of Kaylie. She would not jeopardize any of that for a date with Alex Ryan.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want Alex to live down her reputation. But she didn’t want to see his face when he learned the kind of person she used to be. That she apparently still was, because the voice in her head telling her to go out on a date with Alex was Fun Paige. The Paige who acted first and thought about the consequences later. The Paige she’d promised herself she wouldn’t be when she had her own family.
She couldn’t afford to be that woman, not again.
Paige loosened her hands in her lap. It wasn’t even that she thought her reputation would smear Alex’s.
The problem was she didn’t want him to know, period. She liked knowing that when he looked at her he only saw the woman she was now. There was no shadow of the girl she used to be. No past for him to dredge up and use against her. For Alex there was only Paige-the-Mom or Paige-the-Teacher.
She wanted to keep it that way.
It was smarter that way. Smarter for her. Definitely smarter for Kaylie.
This was not the time to act impulsively but to come up with a plan and stick to that exact path.
Having a path and a plan was absolutely smarter.
Why did she keep repeating that to herself?
Paige tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked anywhere but at Alex, who leaned against the deck railing, feet crossed at the ankle, thumbs tucked into his back pockets. T-shirt taut over what had to be the best-looking set of pecs she had yet to see.
Nope, she was definitely not looking at him.
She had a plan: let Alex be Kaylie’s friend, watch him like a hawk—not in that way, in a motherly way—and assign him to the “friends without benefits” category she assigned nearly every man she knew.
“Paige-the-Woman stays up too late, hates washing her car and is probably a little too indulgent with her daughter.” She picked up Kaylie’s plate, still filled with veggies but with barely a smear of barbecue sauce left, and gestured at it for emphasis. “This is about Kaylie, remember? Getting to know her, building a relationship with her.”
“I’m not sure getting to know Kaylie precludes getting to know you. And, if you’re worried about veggie intake, you could always make vegetables a game.”
Paige laughed. “You read a parenting book, didn’t you?”
Alex blushed, which made Paige giggle harder. He was cute when he blushed. And he crinkled his nose when he laughed along with her.
“I might have read one, but it had some good ideas.” He followed her into the kitchen, carrying their empty glasses in his big hands. “You know, count the stalks of broccoli as the kid puts them in her mouth—”
“And wait for her to throw them up when she can’t chew all seven at once?”
“Okay, that might work better on peas. But there’s always the reward system.”
Paige rinsed the plates, holding in the urge to shake her head or dissolve into another laughing fit. Alex didn’t deserve that. He was trying. And parenting books weren’t bad, per se, it was more that living with a toddler in the real world meant being a little more creative. “So you’d have me bribe my daughter with M&M’s or a video game each time she eats her vegetables?”
“Reward, there’s a difference.”
“Tomato, to-mah-to.” She finished rinsing the dishes and stacked them in Alison’s dishwasher. “So, Kaylie eats her vegetables because she gets chocolate or something as a reward. To get her to finish her homework—”
“She has homework in preschool?” Alex asked incredulously.
“In theory.” Paige scrunched her brows together. What was her point again? Right, the reward system. “To get her to put her dirty clothes in the hamper—better reference?”
He nodded and motioned for her to continue.
“—the reward is an extra fifteen minutes of television, and then she expects that same return with everything. But life isn’t like that. We don’t all get the fluffy unicorn at the checkout counter just because we put strawberries and apples in our shopping cart rather than chocolate-chip cookies and potato chips.”
“She’s only four, and it’s only a way to get her to try something new.”
“And then she’s fourteen and then twenty-four, and then she’s still living at home when she’s thirty-four because she’s never learned that there are things you do—like hold down a job and pay rent and buy groceries—even though you don’t like those things.” Paige huffed out a breath. “I’m not saying I have meaningful conversations about the benefits of vegetable consumption every night after dinner, and I have wavered when we’re in the grocery store and she won’t be quiet about a new package of cookies. But you’re the new person. You have to be careful or she’ll figure out the reward system starts and stops with you.”
Alex scowled and then his expression softened. “I didn’t think of it like that. I just read the book and it made sense.”
“The books always make sense until you’re in the middle of a meltdown because your child was good walking through the aisles and wants one of those little plastic dolls at the checkout. And you say no.” Paige shrugged. “Sometimes ‘eat your vegetables’ or ‘no’ or ‘don’t pick your nose’ just have to be enough.”
“And she’ll eat her vegetables when she’s ready?”
Paige nodded. “Or I’ll make her a smoothie later with all her least favorite veggies juiced into it.”
“Sneaky.”
She pointed her thumb at her chest. “Mom. There’s a difference.”
“So about dinner—”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Alex cocked an eyebrow and that smooth smile spread across his face, pulling the scar at his mouth until it disappeared. “If you have dinner with me I’ll wash your car.”
Paige laughed. “I already told you the reward method doesn’t work.” But she was tempted. Oh so tempted, and that was definitely a bad thing. Temptation had a way of wrecking her life.
“You said it doesn’t work on four-year-olds. You’re not four.”
This time Paige blushed. The intimate tone of Alex’s voice and the dark look that came into his eyes when he said the words were too much. Too interested.
Too daring.
He reached his hand toward her face and Paige backed up, her hip hitting the corner of the counter.
“No, I’m not four and—”
A crash from the pantry interrupted Paige’s train of thought. She hurried across the kitchen, pulled open the door and gasped.
Alison and Tuck were wrapped around each other, kissing. Her hands were under his shirt, her ball cap on the floor and his hands forked through her thick, auburn hair. A couple of soup cans fell from the shelf when Tuck backed Alison up another step, joining the collection of canned green beans and packages of dried pasta already on the floor.
Alison opened her eyes and pushed against Tuck’s broad shoulders.
“Um, hi,” she said, putting an inch of space between them. “We were, uh...”
“Checking the expiration dates?” Alex’s voice was filled with laughter at the twin expressions of embarrassment on Alison’s and Tuck’s faces. “Having a little dessert?”
Tuck took Alison’s hand and led her into the kitchen. “Getting to know one another better,” he said. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
Paige had seen plenty of kisses and she had talked about the dirty details of even more, most of the time with Alison. Something about this kiss was different. Maybe because Alex seemed to want to test the boundaries they’d agreed on just a couple of days before. Seeing Alison wrapped around the handsome ranger tied Paige’s stomach into a knot. Made her clench her hands and take another step away from Alex.
