Читать книгу Heaven to Wudang - Kylie Chan - Страница 11

Later I went into the Celestial Armoury to try again with the Murasame. Meredith, Simone and Miss Chen were all waiting for me inside, leaving little room for the weapons themselves.

‘This is not a circus sideshow,’ I said.

‘You sure you can’t block the pain, Meredith?’ Simone said.

‘It’s spiritual damage, not physical,’ Meredith said. ‘She just has to bear it for as long as she can until one of them submits.’

Simone came to me and put her hand on my arm. ‘We can always have another weapon made for you. You’re still weak. Don’t hurt yourself, it’s not worth it, okay?’ She leaned her cheek on my shoulder. ‘I need you.’

‘I’ll listen to Meredith —’ I began.

‘Now there’s a first,’ Meredith said with humour.

‘I’ll listen to Meredith, and if she tells me to drop it, I will.’

‘Are you just going to hold it until it concedes?’ Meredith said.

‘She’s going to feed it,’ Miss Chen said grimly.

‘That is a very bad idea in your current state, Emma.’

‘So watch me carefully. Now move back and give me room. I’ll have to take it out of its scabbard to feed it.’

I stood in front of the sword and felt its brooding malevolence. Its corner seemed to be darker than the rest of the room; the sword sucked the light out of the air. I took some slow, deep breaths and moved my chi in time with my breathing, clearing my thoughts and quietly revelling in the absence of the demon essence. I planted my feet on the earth and raised my head to the sky and touched the nature of the Celestial: purer, cleaner and more alive than the Earthly.

I relaxed into it, then made my spirit a well of motionless tranquillity and reached towards the sword. The energy calming didn’t help; the sword’s burn ripped through my hand the minute I touched it. I bit my lip with the effort and took short, gasping breaths to increase my oxygen in the vain hope that it would lessen the pain. I raised the sword off its stand and pulled the black lacquer scabbard off the blade, feeling its bite on my left hand as I let it clatter to the floor.

I rotated the blade in my right hand, keeping it horizontal so that the sharp side faced up, and moved my left wrist above it, ready to slice the back of my hand.

John’s voice sounded in my head. What is hurting you, Emma?

I fought to retain my concentration. The Murasame; it doesn’t recognise me any more.

I didn’t see John appear in human form next to me, but I felt his presence against my back. He reached around and put his right hand on mine where I held the hilt of the sword. The Murasame leapt beneath our hands, its spirit singing with joy at his presence, its dark essence rising to salute his. The pain stopped.

‘It acknowledges you as master,’ I said.

‘All weapons acknowledge me as master,’ he said, his voice a low rumble against my back. ‘I am the master of all weapons.’

‘Hello, Daddy,’ Simone said.

‘We will not talk, we are going to concentrate,’ John said, his hand still on mine holding the quivering sword. ‘If Emma messes this up, the Murasame could eat her alive. Everybody stay quiet.’

Simone squeaked softly with distress.

John guided my left hand so that the palm was up, and released it. ‘Lower it gently onto the blade. Don’t stop breathing.’

I did as he said and lowered my wrist carefully onto the blade. If I dropped my hand even slightly too hard, the sword would take it off with relish. I felt the sting and quickly raised my hand again as the blood spiralled into the sword.

‘I’m letting it go. Talk to it,’ John said, and released my hands.

The contact burned again and I touched consciousness with the sword.

I am your master.

The sword laughed, a ringing sound of steel.

I strengthened my will and made my internal voice stronger.

Acknowledge me, Destroyer, I am your master! We have shared blood and death and destroyed together, and you are mine!

The sword was silent and the pain lessened.

I healed the wound, stopping the feed, and the sword made a metallic squeal inside my head at the withdrawal of the blood. The pain didn’t ease further.

I. Am. Your. Master. Obey me!

The sword seemed to think about it for a moment, then the pain ceased. The sword saluted me, the scabbard flew back onto its blade, and it drifted out of my hand and returned to its rack.

‘The sword is tamed,’ John said. He leaned over my shoulder to smile into my eyes. ‘Well done.’

I slipped my hand around the back of his head and kissed him, and he pulled me closer, side-on to me.

‘Oh come on, you two! Do you have to be so yucky all the time?’ Simone said. ‘I want to talk to you about my horse, Daddy, and what’s been happening, and my grades at school, and everything!’

He released me to gaze into my eyes, then shrugged and grinned. He turned to Simone. ‘Let’s walk around the gardens and you can tell me. I want to see the rebuilt Mountain.’

‘Come on, Emma,’ Simone said, gesturing with her head as I hesitated. ‘Come and have a walk and talk Daddy’s ears off.’ She linked her arm in his. ‘Are you here for good? Please say you are.’

‘No,’ he said. ‘Not yet. I remember being nearby though?’

‘You’ve been at the bottom of the lake for nearly a whole day now,’ I said.

‘No wonder I feel so good, that’s like plugging me into a battery charger.’ He walked without difficulty through the bars, then closed his eyes and concentrated for a moment. ‘My Serpent is here!’ He turned back to us, grinning broadly, then his face fell. ‘I’m sure I sensed it right here.’

‘Can you rejoin now? If we find it?’ Simone said.

He waved the others through the bars. ‘Come on, Lucy, Meredith, you can talk to me too, I’m sure you all have a lot to share.’ He turned back to Simone. ‘If we find the Serpent, I can rejoin with it and be more powerful than either of you have ever seen me.’ He shook out his shoulders. ‘Looking forward to that. The demon horde won’t know what hit it. Now.’ He put one arm around each of our shoulders. ‘Come and show me my Mountain. Why aren’t you at the Peak any more? I went there looking for you and the flat was empty. It ripped my heart out.’

‘We still use the flat,’ I said, ‘but we had to move out for a while because Simone’s horse piddled on the carpet in her room and we had to take all the carpet out.’

He glared at her. ‘Simone! You should know better.’

She hung her head. ‘Sorry, Daddy.’

He pulled her in and squeezed her. ‘Are you based here now?’

‘We use the Peak as an Earthly base, but spend most of our time here,’ she said.

He stopped and turned to face us, holding one of our hands in each of his. ‘Do you like being here? Living here? We don’t have to live here if you don’t want it.’

‘I love it,’ I said. ‘I don’t want to live anywhere else.’

‘Let me decide when I’ve graduated,’ Simone said, thoughtful. ‘I may choose the Palace in the Northern Heavens. I don’t think I want to go back to the Earthly — humans can be a real pain to deal with sometimes. Right now though, I want to be here with you and Emma and Leo.’

We went out of the Armoury. John held our hands as we walked through the breezeway towards the central plaza. We passed a small courtyard where a group of students were sitting under the pavilion beneath the trees, working on some academic notes. They stared at us, and a few of them asked each other if that was really John.

‘Salute your Master!’ Miss Chen barked, and they all dropped to one knee.

John turned and grinned at her. ‘Don’t scare them like that. It will take them a while to become accustomed to having me back.’

After we’d passed, the students rose and took off running, obviously to tell their friends and bring them to see.

‘We’ll be mobbed,’ Miss Chen said.

‘If we are, I’ll demote you,’ John said.

‘If we are, I’ll deserve it.’

We’d arrived at the central area, and the path widened to lead the fifty-metre distance to the terrace in front of True Way. John’s face was alight with joy and he released our hands and turned on the spot, taking it all in.

‘Go up and take a look from above,’ Simone said.

He took her hand and raised it. ‘Can you come up with me?’

She nodded.

He turned to me. ‘Can you?’

‘I can’t fly, John, I’m just an ordinary human.’

He touched me on the cheek with his free hand. ‘Absolutely nothing ordinary about you.’ He took my hand as well and we shot fifty metres straight up, then hovered above the complex.

Simone released his hand and turned in the air, her hair floating in the Celestial breeze. ‘That way’s the Northern Heavens; Emma’s knocked down the Serpent Concubine Pavilion and built a new Hall of Serene Meditation. The barracks are over there, and the training halls are on this side, there.’ She turned towards the higher peaks and pointed. ‘Golden Temple’s all fixed up.’

John released my hand to turn and see, and I concentrated to slow my fall, but I didn’t move. He was still holding me up.

‘It looks wonderful,’ he said.

He took my hand and kissed it, and we drifted back down to land on the forecourt at the bottom of the stairs up to Purple Mist.

He raised my hand and we walked up the stairs to the hall together, Simone on his other side. We went in, and he released my hand, took three sticks of incense from the stand, lit them, and placed them in the urn in front of the Buddha statue. He knelt on a black cushion in front of the statue, bowed three times with his hands clasped in supplication, then rose and studied the statue.

I joined him and did the same thing on the cushion next to him, and we stood contemplating the Buddha together. Simone took some incense and added it, and joined us in studying the serene visage of the Buddha.

John turned back towards the door and sat on the cushion. His hair tie fell out and his hair spread over his shoulders. ‘I’m losing it already. I don’t think I’ll make it to the Three Purities.’

‘They wouldn’t care anyway,’ I said.

‘Go back into the lake,’ Simone said.

‘One more thing to do,’ he said, grabbing both of our hands and rising with renewed energy. He retied his ponytail, then led us briskly down the stairs and onto the forecourt where Meredith and Miss Chen waited for us.

A group of students had gathered, and approached us at the bottom of the stairs. They fell to one knee and saluted us.

‘Up you get,’ I said. ‘Say hello to the boss man.’

They grinned shyly, some of them obviously intimidated.

‘Lucy,’ John said, and waved Miss Chen towards us.

She came and fell to one knee as well.

‘Spread out and face True Way, everybody,’ John said. He spread his arms and turned to face Yuzhengong, the Hall of the True Way, and we all moved as he directed. ‘Now. Eighty-eight form Yang-style Tai Chi Chuan.’

‘We have to move into ranks,’ one of the students said urgently. ‘We can’t just be scattered like this.’

A few students were still arriving and trotted to join the group.

John turned back to face them. ‘Scattered is what you want. Order is good, but chaos is the force that rules the universe, and you must learn to accept it and embrace it, and bend rather than break when it strikes. Yes, when your Masters say to be in ordered ranks, there is purpose. But right here, right now, there will be power in the chaos.’ He waved a few straggling students closer. ‘Not too close to the Western edge, give yourselves room to complete the set.’

He looked around, then spoke silently. Anyone arriving late join the back of the group. He turned and shifted his feet so that he was in position, and we fell into silence as we joined him.

‘Touch the Earth. Touch the sky. Breathe the purity of the chi. Commence,’ John said.

As we performed the first twenty moves of the set, more students arrived, quietly joining the group and catching up with us. They stopped arriving at about the twenty-fifth move, but I didn’t notice; I lost my awareness into the graceful beauty of the set and the joy of completing it with John and Simone together.

Shortly after my awareness disconnected from reality and I lost myself into the set, the air around us began to vibrate with each move we made. The Immortals had generated shen energy and were carrying it on their hands. I kept my chi inside, holding it close to preserve my strength. With each move we made, the air sang: a musical note that rose and fell with our movements, clear and full of the warmth of the chi and shen.

Some exclamations of astonishment came from the students behind us, but as more of them joined the trance state, the singing became louder, filling the court with musical tones that turned the moving meditation of the Tai Chi into a symphony of perfect sounds.

As we completed the set and released the energy, the sounds faded and the air seemed to have become even clearer. John turned, grabbed Simone and me and pulled us into a hug so fierce I thought he would kill us.

The Masters who had joined the set quietly shepherded the students back to their classes, leaving the three of us alone in the forecourt that still resonated with energy.

‘Did that happen because you’re here, Daddy?’ Simone said.

‘Many things will happen when I am fully returned,’ he said. ‘I don’t have much longer.’ He bent to kiss me, then pulled back and gazed into my eyes. ‘My Emma.’ He turned and embraced Simone again, and kissed the top of her head. ‘My little girl, my Simone.’

‘Daddy,’ she said, crushed into his chest, and then he was gone.

Simone wiped her eyes and sighed. ‘I always thought Tai Chi was kind of boring. I think I’ll do it more often now.’

‘Don’t let him hear you say that,’ I said. ‘He’ll say he’s failed as a Master.’

She leaned into me and smiled. ‘He’s back at the bottom of the lake. It won’t be long now, Emma. And then we have to arrange a big fancy wedding.’ She ran away giggling.

I rested on a bench next to a bridge over one of the gorges on the way back to the administrative complex. I was still too weak to handle long distances. The mists had cleared, but the bottom of the gorge wasn’t visible; the Masters often teased the students by claiming, while they were floating over them, that the gorges were bottomless. Chanting from one of the temples, accompanied by a wooden drum, drifted in and out of earshot, adding to the warm buzz of sound that was the Mountain.

I wished I could conjure some tea and retire to one of the pagodas sitting high on the cliffs. Instead, I clumsily pulled myself to my feet and headed towards the offices.

The administrative buildings were terraced into the hillside on the eastern side of the complex, and small by necessity because of the steepness. The larger residential and training buildings were closer to the centre, where there was more available flat land. The buildings were joined together with breezeways that meandered through them, containing stairs that joined the levels. Each breezeway had red columns holding up the traditional bracketed roof, which had scenes of birds and flowers painted on the panels just below it. My office stood on the southern side of the cluster, hard against the side of the mountain. It had been designed as the office for John’s second-in-command and I’d appropriated it as the most suitable place for me — right next to him when he came back.

An ancient cypress tree, twisted with age, stood guard in front of the doorway. I touched its trunk as I passed and it shifted its branches slightly in response. It wasn’t a Shen or sentient as such, but it was aware of the comings and goings around it and seemed to enjoy the times when I performed a Tai Chi set in the small clearing beneath it.

Yi Hao nodded to me as I went past her desk. I stopped when I saw who was in my waiting room.

One of the Tiger’s Horsemen stood against the wall, guarding two of my young nephews. Mark, slender, dark-haired and dark-eyed, was Amanda’s son. Jennifer’s son, Andrew, had an unruly thatch of sandy hair and bright blue eyes similar to my own. They were both fourteen years old, but Andrew was ten centimetres taller than Mark. His father, Leonard, was tall. They both rose as I came in and gave me quick hugs.

‘Both of you here for a visit at the same time? What’s the occasion?’ I said.

They shared a quick look, then Mark said, ‘Can we talk to you, Aunty Emma?’

‘Sure,’ I said, gesturing towards the office. ‘Come on in.’ I nodded again to Yi Hao. ‘Anything urgent?’

‘Nothing urgent, ma’am,’ she said.

‘Good.’ I took the boys into my office, closed the door and leaned on the desk. ‘Is there a problem, guys? It’s not like you to be up here on the Celestial Plane, Mark. You know your mother prefers you to stay on the Earthly.’

Both of them fell to one knee and saluted me Chinese-style.

I jumped up. ‘None of that, you’re family, get up off your knees right now.’

They didn’t rise. ‘Please permit us to join the Dark Disciples, ma’am,’ Mark said. ‘We want to learn the Arts.’

‘I’m not listening to anything you have to say until you’re back on your feet where you belong,’ I said. ‘There’s absolutely no need to kowtow to me.’

‘We want to,’ Andrew said, but they rose anyway. ‘We want to acknowledge you as Master, learn the Arts, and do some of the stuff your Disciples can do.’

I went around the desk and flopped into my chair, then waved for them to sit. ‘They’re not my Disciples, they’re Xuan Wu’s. And I don’t think this is a good idea.’

‘We want to learn,’ Andrew said, stubborn. He glanced at Mark. ‘Both of us.’

‘Your mothers would kill me. They’d chop me into very small pieces with my own sword.’

‘We want different names,’ Mark said. ‘Our names are so boring compared to the Disciples — Cold Wind, Black Tree, Triumphant Dragon. We want to be part of Wudang.’

Andrew put his elbows on his knees and leaned forward. ‘It’s just so cool.’

‘I can’t, guys,’ I said. ‘It’s not cool. It’s joining the army. Are you ready for military service? Boot camp?’

They both grinned broadly. ‘Yes!’

‘Even if you did want this, even if you were talented enough to be accepted, I can’t do this to your mothers,’ I said. ‘I can’t guarantee any Disciple’s safety, guys. You’d be in danger. We all know the risk, and I can’t do that to them.’

‘What if they gave their permission?’ Mark said eagerly.

‘They won’t do that in a million years,’ I said. ‘Guys, you won’t be safe.’

‘We won’t leave until you let us come here,’ Andrew said.

I rose and leaned on the desk. ‘And I’m saying that we won’t take you. You might as well go now, because it’s not going to happen.’

I went to the door and opened it, then nodded to the Horseman. ‘Take them home, please. We’re done here.’ I turned back to the boys. ‘I’ll see you guys on the weekend.’

The Horseman came in and saluted me. ‘Ma’am.’

‘At least say you’ll think about it!’ Andrew said.

‘I’ll talk to your mothers about it. If they say it’s okay, then I’ll take you,’ I said.

Mark punched the air. ‘Yes!’

The Horseman touched each of the boys and they all disappeared.

I returned to my desk and called my mother.

‘Hello, darling, anything happen?’ she said. ‘You only call me when there’s an emergency.’

‘Mark and Andrew were just in here, wanting to join Wudang,’ I said.

‘Oh, that’s nice. Did you let them?’

‘I can’t let them!’ I said. ‘They wouldn’t be safe.’

‘They’d be safe there with you, wouldn’t they? I mean, that Mountain place is called the Stronghold of Heaven. It’s supposed to be the safest place anywhere.’

‘Not until John is back, Mum. And remember what happened eleven years ago? The Demon King broke in here and burned the place to the ground.’

‘But that was just property damage, wasn’t it? None of his students were killed or anything?’

I sighed with feeling. ‘Three hundred human Disciples died. It was covered up. Not one of Heaven’s greatest triumphs.’

She was silent on the other end of the line.

‘We can’t guarantee anyone’s safety, not even with John here,’ I said. ‘Accidents happen. And I won’t put the boys at risk.’

‘I’ll talk to Amanda and Jen,’ she said. ‘I think you should too.’

‘Don’t worry, I will. I just wanted to check with you first, find out where they are.’

‘Jen’s on a shopping trip down on the Earthly, and Amanda’s at home,’ my mother said. ‘She’s going to be so cross when she finds out Mark went up to visit you! They’re supposed to be living normal lives.’

‘She’s doubly going to kill him then.’

‘I think you’re right.’

Mid-afternoon Yi Hao came into my office with a cup of fresh coffee for me. She put the mug on my desk and stood on the other side of it, fidgeting.

‘What?’ I said.

‘That man is here again.’

‘Show him in!’

She opened the door and stood next to it without speaking.

‘Come on in,’ I called to Er Lang, who was waiting outside.

As soon as Er Lang was in my office, Yi Hao made a snorting sound of disgust, went out and slammed the door behind her.

Er Lang fell to one knee. ‘My Lady First Heavenly General.’

‘My Lord Er Lang. Please rise.’

He remained on one knee, head bowed.

‘Oh no, here we go again,’ I moaned, and took a sip of the coffee. ‘The answer is no. The answer will always be no. Now get the hell up off the floor and you’d better have something worthwhile to bother me about.’

He didn’t get up, he just stayed on one knee. ‘This humble servant respectfully requests of you, most Honoured One, that he be permitted to take his own life and spend a protracted time in the Hell of Trees Full of Swords.’

I made my voice more brisk. ‘Up off the floor now, and get into one of these chairs and talk to me.’

He rose sheepishly and sat, carefully keeping his eyes down in a show of humility.

‘All right, be like that,’ I said. ‘For the last time: no, you can’t go off and kill yourself. I need you to help me out in the Celestial Palace.’

He shook his hands in front of his face. ‘I deserve to suffer.’

I rose and walked around the desk. ‘Stone, are any of the pagodas free?’

‘All of them are free.’

I gestured impatiently to Er Lang. ‘Come with me.’

I went out of the office and told Yi Hao: ‘I’m taking Er Lang up to one of the pagodas for a talk. If anyone needs me, tell them to talk to the stone.’

‘Ma’am,’ Yi Hao said, glaring at Er Lang.

Outside the office, I put my hand out. ‘You’ll have to carry me. I’ll show you the way.’

He lifted me without a word and, as we flew, I guided him to one of the pagodas that sat just below the top of the highest peaks on Wudang Mountain. We landed gently at the edge of the steep drop and sat at the table inside.

‘Tea, my Lady?’ he said, and I nodded. A pot of Sow Mei appeared with a pair of cups.

I turned to view the Wudang complex spread a hundred metres below us. Its black roofs shone in the Celestial sunlight, and the black wall around the entire complex was clearly visible. The central area, with its huge paved court, was a mass of movement: a class was being held there. The halls on either side were visible higher on the mountainside, as well as the glowing Golden Temple above. The rest of the buildings clung in the folds between the peaks. The sound of drums and the shouts of the disciples echoed through the mountain tops.

I turned back to Er Lang. His young-looking face was full of misery.

‘Please allow me to be punished in the Hell of Trees Full of Swords,’ he said.

‘For the last time, no.’

‘Why not?’

‘It wouldn’t achieve anything!’ I snapped, and he jumped.

‘Don’t you want to have your vengeance on me?’

‘No!’ I poured the tea, sloshing it into my cup. ‘Revenge is the most pointless thing ever. I don’t want to see you suffer. What I want is to work alongside you to protect the Celestial Plane.’

‘You are too merciful.’

‘No, I’m not.’ I raised my teacup and waved it at him. ‘You want to go to Hell and suffer horribly because that will make you feel a whole lot better — like you’ve atoned. Well, I won’t let you. You stay here, and you help me out. I don’t want to see you hurt, Er Lang, I just want to work with you. Let’s get past this and move on already!’

‘The Jade Emperor refuses to punish me as well,’ he said, miserable.

‘You know as well as I do that something’s coming. There’s a threat hanging over our heads, and the Dark Lord is still incapacitated. We need to be at full strength to face this — and I need you to liaise with the Celestial. Now for fuck’s sake will you get the hell over yourself, stop feeling sorry for yourself — which is priceless since I’m the one that got barbecued — and do your goddamn job?’

He sat for a while, looking at his teacup, then looked back up at me. ‘I’ve been a complete ass, haven’t I?’

‘Yes!’

He sighed and put his cup down. ‘I just wish the Celestial would demote me. I’m not fit for this. Look at you — ordinary human, female, not even Immortal, and you’re running rings around me. First a monkey, now a woman —’

‘You sexist bastard.’ I slammed my teacup on the table. ‘One on one, down on the forecourt. You, me, staves.’ I glared at him. ‘Come on, show me what you’ve got.’

He hesitated for a moment, watching me, then shot to his feet and held his hand out. I grabbed it and we were on the forecourt in front of Dragon Tiger.

Liu was teaching a group of advanced students Shaolin long sword; they all stopped.

‘Clear the area, bring us two suitable staves, and stand back,’ I called to Liu without looking away from Er Lang. I grinned. ‘No holds barred. No mercy, no quarter, no rules except that you’re not allowed to kill me. Got it?’

Er Lang saluted me with a grim smile.

Liu threw a staff to me and one to Er Lang. The students moved back, discussing the match under their breath.

‘Silence!’ Liu barked, and they went quiet.

I saluted Er Lang, holding my staff, and he saluted back. We moved into position. I held my staff in front of me, guarding, just as I had when I’d kicked Leo’s ass all that time ago. This time, however, my opponent was going to give me a lesson I wouldn’t forget, and I knew it.

We remained motionless for nearly twenty seconds. As the challenger, I had to make a move after that time or the match would be forfeit.

I swung the staff above me in a move that was more show than substance and kept it rotating as a strike towards Er Lang’s head. He blocked it easily, swung it down in the direction it was already moving and locked it onto the ground. He held it there without effort; I was stuck already.

I pulled the staff straight along its length and it slid out. I swung it and tried to take his feet out with the other end; he blocked me. He jammed my staff against the ground again; he was being purely defensive without attacking. I pulled the staff out of the lock and swung it directly up at his face, hoping to hit him under the chin, and he blocked me again, pushed my staff sideways, and used the other end to tap me on the ankle. He hit me right on the nerve point at the protruding bone and I yelped and hopped back, then lifted the foot as the pain eased. A couple of students squeaked with me, feeling my pain.

He followed the advantage, swinging at my staff so fast that I was barely able to block it. He continued to press me back, hitting my staff relentlessly. The worst part was that he wasn’t hitting it very hard, just tapping it, but he was so fast I had trouble keeping up. He raised the speed and I couldn’t stop him: his blow passed my staff and hit me on the abdomen. He finished it with a flick to take my feet out from under me and I hit the ground hard, my muscles soft after so many months of enforced rest.

I lay on my back, trying to get my breath back, and he stood over me.

‘I yield,’ I managed to wheeze out. ‘You’ve beaten me fairly.’

He held his hand out to me and I took it. He pulled me easily to my feet and we stood with our hands clasped for a long moment while he gazed into my eyes.

‘You were holding back,’ he said. ‘You’re much better than that, I know it.’

‘That was the best I can do at the moment,’ I said. ‘I didn’t hold back.’

He released my hand but continued to examine me. ‘But I’ve heard stories about you. You took down some huge Mothers. You turned one into a cat. You fought off One Two Two single-handed. You defeated the Demon King in single combat.’

‘Really?’ I couldn’t help myself: I grinned like an idiot. ‘Who’s spreading these ridiculous stories, and where can I sign them up to write my memoirs? Most of that’s pure fabrication.’

‘Is it?’

‘Hell, yeah. I may have taken down a couple of medium-sized Mothers and done the cat thing, but that was probably when I was possessed by the Xuan Wu’s Serpent. Without any supernatural help I’m about as good as a really good human.’

He studied me with his face rigid.

‘Do it. Go ahead,’ I said, and braced for the impact.

He snapped his Third Eye open in the middle of his forehead. His intense gaze swept right through me like a blast of brilliant light, burning my flesh from my bones and shredding my essence. The light blinked out and I bent over, gasping.

You should have warned me before you let him do that, Emma. You could have damaged me, the stone said.

I don’t think anything can damage you, I said. You’re surrounded by an impenetrable field of your own superiority.

‘I have misjudged you, ma’am,’ Er Lang said. He held his hand out again. ‘My Earthly name is Robert. People call me Rob when they work with me in English.’

I straightened and shook his hand. ‘And I’d prefer to be called Emma, really. Hey, I know where Liu’s secret boutique beer stash is, and where his vintage wines are. He’s occupied with the students right now — want to come and raid it?’

‘What?’ Liu said from the side.

‘I’d love to, Emma,’ Er Lang said. He waved cheerily to Liu. ‘Meet up with us later, we might have some alcohol left over for you.’

This play-acting is extremely tedious, the stone said. Why don’t you just be yourself? Drinking alcohol indeed. You can’t stand the stuff.

The safety of all the Celestial is at stake, I said. It’s worth a little play-acting.

And you could have done better against him.

Uh, no, I gave it all I have. He’s just straight-up better than me.

I completely disagree.