Читать книгу On the Brink of a Chasm: A record of plot and passion - L. T. Meade - Страница 3

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There was a crush at Mrs. Evershed’s beautiful house in Mark Place, and she now stood at the head of the staircase receiving her guests. Her face wore a smile, and conventional words of welcome rose to her lips.

She was a handsome woman of about forty, and there were few people, even in Mayfair, who entertained more brilliantly. To look at her, her house, her servants, her guests, no one would suppose that she had a care in the world, and yet just behind that smiling face grim care dwelt.

At this very moment, while money was being as lavishly expended as if it were mere water, she herself was on the verge of bankruptcy. The crisis was imminent; her creditors clamored. It would be impossible to keep the wolf at bay more than a few days longer. She knew of this, but still she smiled and received her guests with unction.

Meanwhile Barbara, Mrs. Evershed’s only daughter, had hidden herself in the recess of a curtained window. She was nineteen years of age, and was considered one of the handsomest girls who had made their debut that season. Had she been worldly-minded, and only thought of money, she might have made a match which would have saved Mrs. Evershed from all her money liabilities forever, but this was not Barbara’s way.

She was a rebellious girl; she had never wanted for money, and could not realize the fact that she might soon be penniless. With sparkles in her eyes, lips slightly parted, and cheeks with the glow of beautiful expectation on them, she waited in her corner. Now and then she peeped forward and glanced at her mother. She knew perfectly well what her mother’s thoughts were.

“Yes; she would like me to marry Lord Selwyn,” thought the girl to herself. “No matter even though he is seventy and ugly, and they also say that he drinks; has he not eighty thousand pounds a year, and would not the money put all mother’s terrible money affairs straight? But I won’t marry him; no, I won’t. There is only one man whom I care for.”

Barbara was tall; her eyes were soft brown with a starry light in them. She had quantities of dark hair, too, which was coiled in a classical fashion round her stately head. She was dressed in white silk, and held in her hand a large feather fan.

“I have made up my mind,” she said again to herself—“if Dick proposes to-night I shall accept him. When mother really knows that I am engaged to Dick she will think of some other way of getting out of her difficulties. I cannot and will not marry Lord Selwyn. As to Luke Tarbot, they say he is rich too.” She shuddered slightly.

“Dick is the only man I will marry. If I were Dick’s wife I could be a good woman. It is true that he is only a briefless barrister at present, but he has got brains. He suits me, I suit him. I love him, and I will never, never marry or love anybody else.”

The crush in the beautiful rooms grew greater and greater. Voices sounded close to Barbara. She feared any moment that her hiding place might be discovered; if so, good-by to the treat she had promised herself when Dick Pelham appeared. Presently one or two men came and stood just outside the velvet curtain. They talked and laughed, and once or twice Mrs. Evershed’s name passed their lips. One said to the other—

“Those difficulties which Saunderson spoke of last night at the club cannot be true. She would not be so mad as to entertain in this lavish style if they were.”

“Oh, she does it for a blind,” was the reply of the other. “There is no way of keeping up your credit like keeping up your debts. She is a fool of course. By the way, they say that handsome girl of hers might help her if she would.”

“By marrying Selwyn?” said the other.

“Aye. Why not? By marrying Selwyn and saving the position.”

The first man made an impatient movement.

“I hope the girl has too much self-respect,” he said then.

Barbara shivered behind her curtain. Very little more would have made her scream. Her silk dress made a slight noise as it rustled against the balcony.

“Hush, there may be some one near,” said the first speaker. The men moved away, and Barbara stepped on to the balcony. She leant over the parapet and pressed her hands to her hot cheeks.

“It is too bad,” thought the angry girl; “even in mother’s own house they will not leave her alone. I know who those men are, of course. I recognized Mr. Ashford’s voice, and the other is Mr. Seton. So our affairs are the common talk of the clubs, and it is really expected that I am to rescue mother by making a loveless marriage. But I won’t—my life is my own; I decline to sacrifice myself.”

“I am glad to find you at last,” said a voice in her ears. “I have been looking for you everywhere. Why are you hiding yourself?”

“The rooms are so hot,” answered Barbara shortly. “How do you do, Dr. Tarbot?”

The man held out his hand, which Barbara just touched with her long, slim fingers. His was a somewhat striking personality, and yet he was not the least good-looking. He was of medium height, thin in build: his brow was broad and lofty, his eyebrows well marked, and his deep gray eyes were full of light.

That strange light was never absent from the eyes, which in themselves were somewhat pale in color, but with their black irises and black surroundings made an important addition to a decidedly remarkable face. The man’s mouth was firm and cut in a straight line.

He made the most of his height, holding himself very erect, and now he looked full and boldly into Barbara’s eyes. The balcony was softly lit, and the girl could be seen quite distinctly. The electric light, which was covered with glass globes formed in the shape of lilies, gave her an unreal appearance.

“I am glad I have found you,” repeated Tarbot. He spoke in a hurry, and as though he were slightly out of breath. “I rushed off here in great haste. I must see a patient again before midnight. The man will probably die when the new day dawns, and he has a longing to have me with him when he breathes his last.”

Barbara was silent, but her eyes, as if mesmerized, fixed themselves on Tarbot.

“It is a relief to see you, Miss Evershed: you look so bright—as if you had never known sorrow or illness. The contrast between that dying man’s agony and your grace and beauty is enough to stagger one. Yes, I can stay but for a quarter of an hour. I promised Mr. Harlington to be with him when he died.”

“Why did you leave him?” said Barbara in her slow voice. She always spoke in a slow, reflective sort of way.

“Does not the contrast make you ill?” she continued. “The frivolity of life one moment, a death-bed the next. I do not know how you doctors can live; you must get terribly hard as the years go on. Well, I must go back to our guests; mother will want me to help her. There are a great many people here to-night.”

“The rooms are packed and the heat is stifling. Why should you join that overheated throng? As to your mother wanting you, she told me where I should find you, and said nothing about asking you to go to her. Please stay——”

Barbara paused with her hand upon the frame of the open window.

“Yes?” she asked in an interrogative way.

“I should not have left a dying man if I had not a special reason for doing so.”

“Yes?” replied Barbara again.

“You are the reason.”

“I am very sorry indeed to hear it, Dr. Tarbot. I do not think your reason adequate. Now I must go back to our guests.”

“You must not,” said Dr. Tarbot firmly. “I came here with the express purpose of seeing you, and I will not be foiled. You will stay with me for a moment or two. I want to say, to say——”

Barbara returned once more to the balcony. She saw that the man must have his opportunity, and she knew that she was in for a bad quarter of an hour. She closed her big fan and held it in both hands.

“You know what I want to say.”

“Yes,” replied Barbara. She made a short pause before she uttered the single word. Then she added, marked deliberation in her tone, “Is it a gentlemanly action to detain a girl against her will?”

“Barbara, you must know what I mean.”

“When did I give you leave, Dr. Tarbot, to call me by my Christian name?”

“I used to call you Barbara when you were a child. Do you never remember the old days?”

“Those days are over,” answered Barbara. “Now, please, say what you have to say.”

“And then go, is that it?”

“Will you speak?”

“I will. My words can be soon said. I love you—I want you for my wife. I am determined to win you.”

“Determined!” said Barbara. “You are very bold, Dr. Tarbot.”

“I was never a coward. I will plead with you until I succeed. You are the only woman in all the world whom I love. I will have you.”

“You will? Again I say you are bold.”

“For Heaven’s sake let us argue the matter out quietly.”

“There is nothing whatever to argue. You say you love me. I do not return your love, therefore I cannot marry you. Are not those words plain enough?”

“Plain as they are, they do not clinch this business,” said the man, now trembling with rage and suppressed passion. “I will plead my cause and you must listen. What I feel for you is more than ordinary love; it has been the growth of years. Do you think just for a light word I will give you up? I should make you a good husband. As to your mother, I know well what money difficulties she is in, but I can put her straight. I am a young man—not like Lord Selwyn.”

“Do not mention his name.”

“I must, for report gives you to him. I only say now what is the common talk of London. I am a young man, and not in the least like Selwyn. I hate a girl giving herself to an old man, but I am young and suitable as regards age. I am clever, too, and doing splendidly in my profession. Already I am considered one of the greatest brain specialists of the day. By and by I shall be a rich man. Already I am anything but poor. I can put your mother’s affairs quite straight, and I will if only you will promise to be mine.”

“I do not love you, and therefore I cannot promise to be yours. Now, please, let me go.”

“Not yet, not for a moment. Your love will come. Promise to marry me, if not for my sake, for your mother’s. Oh, Barbara, Miss Evershed—it does not matter what I call you—you will never repent it. If you were my wife, I should be a good man. I do not pretend that I am good now; I am just a desperate fellow, but full of love for you. Have you not been the star which I have set before me since I was a lad? Say you will marry me; say it—you will never regret it. If you do not there will be mischief. Oh, Barbara, do not give me up. Barbara, I shall go down, I shall sink, I shall be ruined, if you refuse me.”

He paused at last, looking, with his eyes burning with suppressed passion, into the girl’s face. She did not shrink from his gaze, but she changed her position. Some of the soft golden light fell across her dress and on her white arms, and gave a queer glow to the big fan. Barbara unfurled it slowly, and held it so as partly to hide her face.

“I am sorry for you,” she said; “you must try and get over this. But you have had my answer; I cannot say anything different.”

“Do not refuse me now. Think, consider, take time. I cannot, I cannot give you up to another.”

There was such a genuine tone of agony in the man’s voice that, in spite of herself, the girl was slightly softened; her tone became gentle.

“It pains me to give you pain,” she said, “but you must consider my answer quite final. It would be false kindness to give you the least hope. I do not love you, I could never under any circumstances love you; you do not in any single particular suit me. As your wife I should be miserable—I should be worse, I should even be bad. I could never be the wife of one I do not sincerely love. If you were the last man left in the world I could not marry you, Dr. Tarbot. Is not that decisive enough?”

“It is, and I am undone,” said Tarbot. His face grew ghastly white; he staggered against the window frame.

Without a word Barbara turned and left him. She entered the gaily lighted room. Tarbot, leaning against the window frame, watched her as she did so.