Читать книгу The dark side of Russia - Лара Шапиро - Страница 3
Childhood
ОглавлениеIn the very centre of Russia, in the Southern Urals, there is a small but very picturesque place called Kasli, famous for its iron castings, elaborately cast gates and elegant figurines. Dead place. Perhaps that is why the Soviet government, together with the atheism imposed by it, was not wholly rooted there; and the deceased were buried in the church, according to the old Russian tradition.
Life covered in a grey, dull sky. Large raindrops beat deafly through the window, nervously flowing down, leaving a wet mark, reminiscent of a human life full of fuss and nonsense. A large window, over the wall, from floor to ceiling, a spacious, cold room, smelling of printing ink and glue, here and there numerous stacks of books neatly folded on the floor. The window overlooked the church square, endless, like Russia. Rebecca sat at the window, buried in cold glass and silently watched the world through wet grey drops. She loved to sit by the window and watch. There was a church in the square. Every day, coffins were carried across the square, bells rang. Rebecca sat at the window and looked at these endless strings of coffins. These were the earliest memories of her childhood, she was not even three years old, but she remembered these coffins, the bell ringing and the old white church for her whole life. Life began with a death. And she still loves large windows. Reminiscent of childhood and mom, who is no longer alive.
When Rebecca became an adult, she specifically went there. Everything seemed so small: the house, the square, the church, Castle themselves. And then, in childhood, everything was big, dimensionless, boundless, vast. The whole world is getting smaller and smaller over the years.
Soon they moved to Kazakhstan, where mom was assigned on the instructions of the party and government, as the secretary of the comunist party organization of the North Kazakhstan region. They settled in a beautiful white-brick cottage with three bedrooms and a spacious hall, where Rebecca loved to dance to the songs of Anna German and “Rush me, the forest deer”. The cottage looked like a modern castle, with a vast plot around. Rebecca got the opportunity to walk and think a lot. She walked around the large courtyard covered with white wool of snowdrifts and thought: people are born, go to kindergarten, school, college, work, get married, have children, retire and die. And this is the whole purpose of life? This one? From generation to generation, year after year, century after century. Is that all people live for? What is the sense of life?
At the edge of the plot was an unfortunate, grey barn where the Rashit family bred rabbits. Despite the numerous prohibitions from adults, Rebecca loved, having put the ladder to the roof, climb to the very top, and lying on the roof, look into the bottomless, boundless sky, at the majestically floating clouds. She could lie like that for hours, the most favourite occupation. It seemed that there, behind the clouds, was someone alive and mysterious, the one who, with the help of these clouds, explains her the meaning of life.
Between hours of contemplation and reflection, there was a place for adventure. Rebecca always had a lot of strange ideas. Her new idea was “to steal the raft from the teens and cross the lake, to see how deep it is on the other side.” Then Rebecca reasoned as follows: since the farther from the shore, the deeper, later on that shore there should be the most profound depth. Need to check.
It was proposed to hijack a raft from the teens early in the morning, in their absence. Almost no one supported Rebecca. Everyone was too scared. They stood by the shore and crumpled. – Well, to hell with you, I’ll sail alone – Rebecca thought. At that moment she saw the eyes of Lyosha and Yurka. Horror and the struggle of two fears froze in their eyes: fear of striding on the raft, into the unknown, and fear of leaving her alone on this raft, alone with the frightening unknown. They were scared. But it was even worse for them to leave her alone. And they took a step.
So the three of them sailed, rowing with sticks along the shore. If they tried to go too far, the sticks did not reach the bottom, and they could not push, so they kept the coast.
Thanks to this trip, they learned that in some places their lake is covered with mud and not everywhere you can swim. That on the other side, beautiful weeping willows grow. That their Kazakh peers are already working on an equal footing with adults, grazing cattle on horseback, without fear of either cows or bulls, they just brought cattle to the watering place when Rebecca, Lyosha and Yurka sailed by.
They sailed almost all day, to sunset returned. The teens beaten them, but the children met them as heroes.
At seven years old, Rebecca went to school and all three years of elementary school only heard that China was about to take Kazakhstan since there are too many Chinese, and they need more land and space. It was scary. Rebecca studied the map of China and was numb by how big it was. She learned to write with her left hand and forced her classmates to do the same, having heard on TV that in one of the countries the terrorists had seized a school, and their children had their right hands cut off so that they could not study.
Mom worked in the military enlistment office with Russian officers. Beautiful, slender, blue-eyed officers, irradiated from Baikonur. So, at the age of 8, Rebecca first heard the story about Damansky Island, where hundreds of crazy Chinese slaughtered a handful of our guys.
It is not surprising that at the end of the second grade, Rebecca decided to organize a diplomatic mission to China: go to the Chinese and explain that the Soviet people are peaceful and kind, so that the Chinese do not attack Kazakhstan. Lack of knowledge of the Chinese language was not an obsticle: we will draw smiling suns and sing songs, Rebecca reasoned.
For the diplomatic mission, two bully brothers were chosen: Yurka and Pavlik. Yurka was two years older and more experienced in terms of hiking. Pavlik was a classmate of Rebecca and did everything as Yurka says. There was also Igor, a “nerd”, a classmate of Yurka, and his sister Luda, a classmate of Pavlik and Rebecca. Here is such a team. In general, Rebecca vilely took advantage of the sympathy of all three boys and forced them out to join her own adventures.
Provisions and blankets were stocked up in advance and imperceptibly. They decided to leave at night when parents will sleep, to have an advantage of several hours. Igor was the smartest; he calculated and thought over everything.
They were searched for two days by the police and military registration and enlistment offices, with “military cars”, because Yurka and Pavlik had a stepfather, head of the police, and Rebecca’s mother worked in the military registration and enlistment office. All military services were raised. But the children deftly disguised themselves in the forest. Firstly, they were small and inconspicuous. Secondly, upon hearing the howl of sirens, they immediately extinguished the fire and covered everything with old leaves, leaving no traces.
On the third day, they were found. Rebecca was locked in her room, “to think about her behaviour.” Reason: leaving the little sister unattended. The sister was four years old at that time. “My mother is foolish,” Rebecca thought, sitting in the room “I had a DIPMISSION, how I would reach China with a four-year-old child?”
Igor and Lyuda were from an intelligent family and ended with “educational conversation”. But Yurka and Pavlik were beaten by their stepfather with a rubber hose. Harshly. There was no living place on them; they were blue and black. Rebecca’s mother blamed her: – look at what you brought to people. Mom guessed who was the initiator of this crazy idea. So at nine years old, Rebecca realized the meaning of the phrase: “We are responsible for those we tamed.”
Then there was Russia and high school. An ordinary school with a military bias. Lessons of military training, almost every day and field exercises called “Zarnitsa”. Probably, it was necessary. Posters and slides with details of the consequences of chemical, nuclear, biological, gas and other attacks, vivid pictures of mutilated human bodies were imprinted in memory for life.
And again, she only heard that they were about to being attack, now by America. They should be prepared, and if the US kill the entire Soviet army, then they will have to defend the country, despite their young age. They were brought up in the spirit of “who, if not you?” And “in life, there is always room for a feat.” They made to be soldiers. Their childish minds were pressed to such an extent that Rebecca could not stand it. She was coming home sobbing: “Mom, they’ll kill us all tomorrow. And it will not be the worst. The worst will go to those who survive. Mom, the Americans have four plans for attack, and all four have Chelyabinsk and Yekaterinburg in the first place. “Mom planted Rebecca in front of the world map and explained:" Look to America and to the USSR. America is three times smaller than us. While they will defeat one-third of our territory, we will ultimately defeat them.” It reassured, but not for long.
They did not have classes at school. There were platoons and companies. When it came time to join the Komsomol, Rebecca was accepted in the first stream and was immediately elected a Komsomol and a platoon commander. So they studied: first, regular classes, and then military classes, where the “Gazes!” Team sounded, where the soldiers made of them – assembling and disassembling a Kalashnikov assault rifle, shooting from a standing position, from a lying position – climbing a rope, through a fence, through the fire, climbing stairs: legs, arms on speed – throwing a grenade.
– soldier Zaplatinskaya, how do you throw a grenade?! You will undermine yourself on it, not the enemy!
“Comrade Lieutenant, I’ll wait for the enemy to come closer, and kill all at once!”
– Soldier Zaplatinskaya!
– Yes, Sir!
– To the blackboard!
– Yes, Sir!
– Tell us the device of the Modernized Combat Vehicle.
So her childhood and youth passed.