Читать книгу Round Up: The Stories of Ring W. Lardner - Lardner Ring - Страница 8
II
ОглавлениеIt rained down in Cincinnati one day and somebody organized a little game o’ cards. They was shy two men to make six and ast I and Carey to play.
“I’m with you if you get Ike and make it seven-handed,” says Carey.
So they got a hold of Ike and we went up to Smitty’s room.
“I pretty near forgot how many you deal,” says Ike. “It’s been a long wile since I played.”
I and Carey give each other the wink, and sure enough, he was just as ig’orant about poker as billiards. About the second hand, the pot was opened two or three ahead of him, and they was three in when it come his turn. It cost a buck, and he throwed in two.
“It’s raised, boys,” somebody says.
“Gosh, that’s right, I did raise it,” says Ike.
“Take out a buck if you didn’t mean to tilt her,” says Carey.
“No,” says Ike, “I’ll leave it go.”
Well, it was raised back at him and then he made another mistake and raised again. They was only three left in when the draw come. Smitty’d opened with a pair o’ kings and he didn’t help ’em. Ike stood pat. The guy that’d raised him back was flushin’ and he didn’t fill. So Smitty checked and Ike bet and didn’t get no call. He tossed his hand away, but I grabbed it and give it a look. He had king, queen, jack and two tens. Alibi Ike he must have seen me peekin’, for he leaned over and whispered to me.
“I overlooked my hand,” he says. “I thought all the wile it was a straight.”
“Yes,” I says, “that’s why you raised twice by mistake.”
They was another pot that he come into with tens and fours. It was tilted a couple o’ times and two o’ the strong fellas drawed ahead of Ike. They each drawed one. So Ike throwed away his little pair and come out with four tens. And they was four treys against him. Carey’d looked at Ike’s discards and then he says:
“This lucky bum busted two pair.”
“No, no, I didn’t,” says Ike.
“Yes, yes, you did,” says Carey, and showed us the two fours.
“What do you know about that?” says Ike. “I’d of swore one was a five spot.”
Well, we hadn’t had no pay day yet, and after a wile everybody except Ike was goin’ shy. I could see him gettin’ restless and I was wonderin’ how he’d make the get-away. He tried two or three times. “I got to buy some collars before supper,” he says.
“No hurry,” says Smitty. “The stores here keeps open all night in April.”
After a minute he opened up again.
“My uncle out in Nebraska ain’t expected to live,” he says. “I ought to send a telegram.”
“Would that save him?” says Carey.
“No, it sure wouldn’t,” says Ike, “but I ought to leave my old man know where I’m at.”
“When did you hear about your uncle?” says Carey.
“Just this mornin’,” says Ike.
“Who told you?” ast Carey.
“I got a wire from my old man,” says Ike.
“Well,” says Carey, “your old man knows you’re still here yet this afternoon if you was here this mornin’. Trains leavin’ Cincinnati in the middle o’ the day don’t carry no ball clubs.”
“Yes,” says Ike, “that’s true. But he don’t know where I’m goin’ to be next week.”
“Ain’t he got no schedule?” ast Carey.
“I sent him one openin’ day,” says Ike, “but it takes mail a long time to get to Idaho.”
“I thought your old man lived in Kansas City,” says Carey.
“He does when he’s home,” says Ike.
“But now,” says Carey, “I s’pose he’s went to Idaho so as he can be near your sick uncle in Nebraska.”
“He’s visitin’ my other uncle in Idaho.”
“Then how does he keep posted about your sick uncle?” ast Carey.
“He don’t,” says Ike. “He don’t even know my other uncle’s sick. That’s why I ought to wire and tell him.”
“Good night!” says Carey.
“What town in Idaho is your old man at?” I says.
Ike thought it over.
“No town at all,” he says. “But he’s near a town.”
“Near what town?” I says.
“Yuma,” says Ike.
Well, by this time he’d lost two or three pots and he was desperate. We was playin’ just as fast as we could, because we seen we couldn’t hold him much longer. But he was tryin’ so hard to frame an escape that he couldn’t pay no attention to the cards, and it looked like we’d get his whole pile away from him if we could make him stick.
The telephone saved him. The minute it begun to ring, five of us jumped for it. But Ike was there first.
“Yes,” he says, answerin’ it. “This is him. I’ll come right down.”
And he slammed up the receiver and beat it out o’ the door without even sayin’ good-by.
“Smitty’d ought to locked the door,” says Carey.
“What did he win?” ast Carey.
We figured it up—sixty-odd bucks.
“And the next time we ask him to play,” says Carey, “his fingers will be so stiff he can’t hold the cards.”
Well, we set round a wile talkin’ it over, and pretty soon the telephone rung again. Smitty answered it. It was a friend of his’n from Hamilton and he wanted to know why Smitty didn’t hurry down. He was the one that had called before and Ike had told him he was Smitty.
“Ike’d ought to split with Smitty’s friend,” says Carey.
“No,” I says, “he’ll need all he won. It costs money to buy collars and to send telegrams from Cincinnati to your old man in Texas and keep him posted on the health o’ your uncle in Cedar Rapids, D. C.”