Читать книгу Secrets Behind Locked Doors - Laura Martin - Страница 14

Chapter Six

Robert sipped at the scalding cup of coffee and tried to focus on the newspaper he held in front of him. He’d been attempting to read the same article for the last fifteen minutes and he hadn’t got past the first paragraph. Every few seconds he would find himself glancing at the door, wondering if and when Louisa was going to show up for breakfast.

He’d recovered from the scare she’d given him the night before and he thought she would probably decide to stay with him for the time being. Robert told himself it was just friendly concern that made him look up from his newspaper every time there was a creak in the hallway, but deep down he knew that wasn’t true.

There had been a moment in his study last night, just as Louisa had agreed to stay for a while at least, when she’d swayed towards him. Her body had been pressed up against his after he’d cradled her in his arms for comfort. He’d become aware of her womanly curves under the sack-like dress and a flicker of desire had ignited within him. For a second he had nearly given in to his desires. Robert was certain Louisa had leant towards him ever so slightly and it would have been so easy to bend his head and cover her mouth with his own.

Easy but disastrous. Louisa was his ward, a young woman who had been through so much in the last few years. She didn’t deserve to be pounced upon by her new guardian within hours of meeting him. And even if the attraction was mutual, it was still very bad idea. Robert had not been with a woman for a very long time. Not since...

With a gargantuan effort Robert dragged his thoughts away from that catastrophic night. The night he’d lost his best friend in the entire world and most of the men under his command. All because of a woman. No, he wasn’t going to allow himself to get involved with anyone ever again. It was the least he could sacrifice for the men whose deaths weighed on his conscience.

Robert was distracted from his dark train of thought by the opening of the door. Louisa edged into the room and stood nervously in the doorway. He realised she wasn’t quite sure how to behave in his house yet.

‘Come and sit down,’ he said, motioning to the seat beside him. ‘How did you sleep?’

‘Wonderfully,’ she said with a sunny smile.

He studied her carefully, wondering if she was joking. After their midnight dash through the neighbourhood Robert hadn’t slept a wink. He wasn’t sure if it was because he’d lain awake listening for Louisa’s footsteps, wondering if she would disappear into the night again, or if it was the knowledge that if he fell asleep the nightmares would return. This morning he felt haggard.

Louisa, by contrast, looked fresh and ready for the day.

‘Are you ready for our shopping trip today?’ Robert asked. If she was ever going to be seen out in public, she needed something suitable to wear and his housekeeper’s dress really wasn’t good enough.

Louisa looked down at her dress and ran the coarse material through her fingers.

‘I’ve grown rather fond of baggy grey dresses,’ she said with a grin. ‘It would be a shame to change my style now.’

‘And it is quite a style.’

He watched as she tucked into her breakfast and wondered whether this shopping trip was a good idea. He couldn’t deny she needed some new clothes. The dress she’d worn home from the asylum had been consigned to the bin and she couldn’t continue borrowing Mrs Kent’s dresses. No, he knew she needed to go shopping, but he wasn’t sure he was the one who should be going with her. If he’d found her attractive in the shapeless grey dress last night, he dreaded to think what response she might elicit from him as she paraded up and down in silks and satins.

Robert shook his head almost imperceptibly. This was ridiculous. He was a grown man, not a young boy unused to controlling his emotions. For years he’d been able to maintain a stony exterior, hide what he was really feeling from the world. Compared to that, concealing a modicum of attraction for Louisa should be child’s play.

‘Why don’t we meet in half an hour?’ Robert said, standing to leave. ‘That will give you enough time to enjoy your breakfast.’

Louisa turned to him with a smile on her face. ‘I’m very much looking forward to today,’ she said.

Robert nodded, then beat a hasty retreat, not trusting himself to say a word.

* * *

Twenty-five minutes later Robert was standing in the hall, waiting for Louisa. He resisted the urge to check the clock again, knowing she would probably have interpreted his half-hour rendezvous time as flexible. Not everyone was as punctual to the minute as he was.

‘So where are we going?’ Louisa asked as she descended the staircase, a skip in her step. Robert thought she seemed more relaxed today and he knew his assurance she could leave at any time had helped her to trust him just a little more.

‘There is a modiste not too far from here,’ Robert said. ‘I’m told she’s one of the best in the city.’

‘Wonderful, I wouldn’t want anything less than the best. I am used to garments made of the finest fabrics and designed by the most talented dressmakers.’

Robert was slowly getting used to her sense of humour and even found himself smiling.

‘I’m not sure we can quite match the quality of the clothes you’re used to, but we can only try.’

He led her out to the carriage that waited for them at the bottom of the steps and took her hand in his to help her up. Her fingers were warm against his skin and Robert found himself holding on for just a little longer than was strictly necessary.

Once she was settled, he bounded up into the carriage and took the seat opposite her. They moved off almost immediately.

For a few minutes they travelled in silence. Robert watched Louisa as she stared out the window at all the grand houses. She was a little awestruck, but as they neared their destination he could tell she was becoming increasingly nervous. Although the expression on her face didn’t change, she was absent-mindedly wringing her hands together. Robert’s best friend, Greg Knapwell, had done the same thing before each and every battle they’d fought together.

He tried to work out why she was quite so nervous; it was only a dress shop after all. Then he realised she probably hadn’t ever been to a dress shop before.

‘There’s nothing to be afraid of,’ he said quietly.

Louisa spun to face him. ‘Why do you think I’m afraid?’

‘When I was in the army, a friend of mine used to wring his hands together before we went into battle, very much like you’re doing now.’ Robert surprised himself with his answer. He never talked about the war if he could help it. And if he was asked questions by some simpering debutante who thought he was ‘ever so brave’, he always answered in the vaguest terms possible. He didn’t think he had voluntarily brought the subject of the war up in the two years since he’d returned to England.

Louisa looked at him silently with her big brown eyes and Robert felt as though she were looking deep into his soul.

‘You lost your friend didn’t you?’ she asked eventually.

He nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

‘I’m sorry. It must seem silly to you, my being afraid of visiting a shop, after all you and your friends went through.’

‘No,’ Robert said, ‘it’s not silly. Being nervous of the unknown is the most natural response in the world.’

‘You must find everyday fears a little ridiculous, though,’ Louisa said.

Wordlessly he shook his head, knowing he couldn’t tell her sometimes he was afraid to go to sleep, knowing the nightmares could start as soon as he allowed his mind to drift into oblivion.

‘There’s nothing to be afraid of today,’ he said, steering the conversation away from himself. ‘I’ll be with you all the time.’

‘Surely not all the time,’ Louisa teased.

‘Well, not far away,’ Robert said, his voice gruff.

‘I worry what people will think of me.’

‘Don’t.’

He’d stopped caring what people thought when he realised he’d lost most of the people who mattered to him.

‘That’s your advice?’ Louisa asked. ‘Just don’t?’

‘That’s my advice.’

She grinned and turned back to the window. Robert was pleased to see she’d stopped wringing her hands together.

The carriage halted in front of a large shopfront and Robert watched as Louisa’s eyes widened in amazement.

He quickly hopped down from the carriage and once again held out his hand to help Louisa down. This time he didn’t let go, but tucked her hand into his elbow and escorted her inside.

They were met by a smiling woman who bobbed into a curtsy as soon as they walked inside. She looked from Robert to Louisa and back again, the confusion showing on her face. She had obviously seen the grand carriage stop outside the shop but was puzzled she did not know the mismatched couple who descended from it.

‘Welcome, sir, madam,’ she said.

‘I’m Lord Fleetwood,’ Robert said, watching as the woman’s eyes widened in recognition of the name, ‘and this is my ward, Miss Louisa Turnhill.’

‘It’s an honour to meet you both.’

‘Miss Turnhill has come to stay with me, but unfortunately all her clothes were destroyed in a fire.’

‘All of them?’ the modiste asked in disbelief.

‘All of them,’ Robert confirmed.

‘My name is Mrs Willow, this here is Lucy,’ the woman said as a young shopgirl stepped forward. ‘And this is Prudence,’ she added as another girl bobbed a curtsy. ‘We would be delighted to be of assistance.’

Robert stepped back as the three women crowded around Louisa and bustled her farther into the shop. He found a comfortable chair, placed so that he had a good view of the proceedings but was tucked out of the way.

‘How many items would you like to order for today?’ Mrs Willow asked.

Louisa glanced back over her shoulder at Robert.

‘Oh, just the one,’ she said.

‘She means one to wear away today,’ Robert corrected her from his position in the corner, ‘and six more to order.’

All four women looked at him in shock.

‘Of course, sir,’ Mrs Willow said. ‘And would these all be daytime dresses?’

Again Louisa looked at him for guidance.

‘For now, yes, let’s focus on the daytime,’ he said. ‘But if you keep her measurements, then we can order evening gowns at some point in the future.’

‘And what colours do you favour, Miss Turnhill?’

‘Anything but grey,’ Louisa said, smiling. ‘The brighter the better.’

Robert watched as Louisa was led round the shop and roll after roll of material was presented to her. She seemed to come alive with every minute as she discussed the luxury of one material and compared it to the comfort of another. He could hardly believe this was the same scared young woman he’d found in a cell in Lewisham Asylum just yesterday.

Every so often Louisa would glance his way, uncertain about a decision, and Robert would give her an encouraging smile. He liked that a small gesture from him was enough to give her the confidence she needed to prosper in such an unfamiliar setting.

‘So we have decided on materials and colours,’ Mrs Willow said. ‘Now we have to decide on style.’

Louisa was led behind a curtain by the two young shopgirls. Every few minutes Mrs Willow would carry another dress behind the curtain.

‘What do you think?’ Louisa asked shyly.

Robert looked up and felt his breath catch in his chest.

Louisa looked at him nervously, biting her bottom lip. Robert knew he had to say something, but suddenly his words had deserted him.

‘You look beautiful,’ he said eventually.

Beautiful didn’t even begin to cover it. She looked stunning. He hadn’t been able to even begin to imagine what had lain under the shapeless sacks he’d seen her in before. Now it was laid out for everyone to see. The dress nipped in at her slender waist and skimmed over her hips and the upper half accentuated her cleavage to maximum effect. Robert felt a sudden and unexpected stab of jealousy. He didn’t want anyone else seeing her like this.

He told himself to stop being so ridiculous. She wasn’t his to covet. She was his ward and he should be pleased she was so delighted with her new appearance.

‘I feel like a different person,’ Louisa said quietly.

As she smiled Robert knew it was a smile just for him and he felt the first stirrings of desire wake inside him. When she was happy, genuinely happy, she glowed.

The four women looked at him expectantly and Robert realised he’d cleared his throat in an effort to take control of himself. They were expecting him to say something.

‘The colour suits you,’ he ventured. He wasn’t an expert on fashion or materials, but no one could deny the emerald-green complemented Louisa’s chestnut hair and deep brown eyes exquisitely.

‘We’ll take it,’ Robert said to Mrs Willow. ‘That’s if you would like it.’

He turned back to Louisa and saw the hope burn in her eyes, but something was holding her back.

Discreetly Mrs Willow ushered the two shopgirls away so Robert and Louisa could converse in private.

‘What’s wrong?’ Robert asked. ‘Don’t you like it?’

‘I love the dress,’ Louisa answered. ‘And I love how it makes me feel. It’s just...’ She trailed off.

Robert smiled at her encouragingly.

‘It’s just I don’t know if I can afford it.’

Robert frowned.

‘I think Mr Craven spent most of my inheritance and I haven’t exactly been able to earn a living this last year.’

‘You’re my ward, Miss Turnhill,’ Robert said slowly. ‘It is my legal obligation to provide you with clothes and food and shelter.’

He saw her face drop at being called his ‘legal obligation’.

‘What’s more, it is my pleasure to buy this dress for you.’

‘Thank you,’ she said.

She said it with such sincerity he knew she appreciated him not treating her as solely his duty.

Louisa took a step closer to him and for a second Robert thought she was about to embrace him. He felt a rush of pleasure surge through his body. Every single part of him knew touching Louisa would be a bad idea, but still he desired it.

The disappointment he felt when Louisa merely smiled at him was acute, but he forced himself to smile back.

‘We’ll take this dress as it is,’ Robert called to Mrs Willow. ‘It seems to fit her well. I’ll send someone to pick up the others in a couple of days.’

‘Very good, sir.’

Robert did not want to examine his reaction to Louisa in detail. He knew his newfound attraction towards her was wrong on so many levels. Maybe it was natural, he told himself. She was a good-looking woman who had been transformed into a beautiful butterfly in front of his eyes. And he was a man who had denied himself any sort of female companionship for so long. Perhaps his attraction towards her was to be expected. After all, she was the first woman he’d spent any sort of time with in the last two years.

Robert could only hope that was all it was. The last thing he needed was to desire any woman, let alone the one he was legally bound to until she came of age.