Читать книгу Lone Star Baby Bombshell - Lauren Canan - Страница 9
ОглавлениеIt was here. The moment she’d dreaded since the day Henry was born. She looked down at the baby in her arms, hoping Jace wouldn’t see the panic that engulfed her.
“This is Henry,” she said and swallowed hard.
“Yours?”
She blinked more than once at his question. Apparently his manager hadn’t lied when he’d said he wouldn’t tell Jace about the pregnancy. He’d never even told Jace she called.
“Yes,” she finally answered. “He’s all mine.”
Jace looked at her, and then glanced back at the baby. Henry kicked his feet, blowing some of his best baby bubbles for the strange man.
“He’s cute,” Jace murmured. “How old is he?”
No surprise he would ask. She had to give him an answer. To avoid a reply might only increase his curiosity. “Four months.”
She saw the wheels turning in Jace’s head as he did the math and knew what conclusion he reached: Henry could be his son. He looked at Kelly again, as though searching for a different answer. His full lips were pulled into a straight line of contemplation.
“I’m Kelly’s brother, Matt.” Her brother grinned from ear to ear, obviously dying to talk to his hero. Kelly welcomed the interruption.
“Nice to meet you, Matt.” That killer grin spread across Jace’s face. He held out his hand and Matt shook it. Matt was so excited, it was as if he rose two feet above the ground.
“So Kelly says you’re living in Calico Springs now?”
Jace nodded, his eyes shifting toward Kelly for an instant and then back to Matt.
“Yeah. I bought an old ranch north of town. Have a friend who has been in horse racing for thirty years. I always wanted to have land and horses. He talked me into trying my hand at raising some thoroughbreds. There’s enough room to bring in some cattle later if I decide to expand.”
“Oh man, that’s cool.” Matt’s entire body vibrated in excitement. Matt pointed to a chair. “Can you stay a couple of minutes?”
“Sure.”
As they sat down, Matt asked, “Do you still throw a ball?”
“Oh, yeah. Any chance I get.” Jace’s heart-stopping grin reappeared. “I’d still be a wide receiver if the knee hadn’t gotten bent the wrong way. Do you play?”
“Yeah. Well, it’s just high school.”
“Hey, it’s where we all started. What position?”
As the football banter between the two continued, Kelly eased out of the room. She put Henry down in the crib, and then collapsed onto the small wooden chair by the door. When would this day finally end? Jace Compton, the lying, two-faced multimillionaire, was sitting in her living room talking with her brother, probably speculating if he’d just been two feet away from his own son. And from the sound of their animated conversation, the two guys shared a common interest. This was going to get worse before it got better.
She wouldn’t think it odd of the Jace she’d met last year. A regular guy. One who fit into the world she knew: a guy who loved cheeseburgers, hot rods and practical jokes. He’d been a decent, down-to-earth guy who’d talked of everyday things. No arrogance. No haughtiness. But it seemed unbelievable the suave wealthy superstar who traveled the globe would sit in an old house and enjoy conversing with a fifteen-year-old kid. It was as though Jace was two different people. In spite of everything, deep inside she still wanted to paint him as a good guy. But she knew he was anything but.
Breathe deep. She’d told no one the identity of Henry’s father, not even Matt. Infants didn’t resemble either parent enough for someone to see a resemblance. Did they? Most babies had dimples. Maybe she’d get through this.
To her brother, Jace was a true hero, a superstar both in his action films and on the football field. The chance to talk to the great Jace Compton one-on-one was beyond exciting. She got that. But she would exercise caution. Usually a fair judge of character, apparently she’d misjudged Jace once. She wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
The two voices filled the small space as Kelly grabbed dry clothes and headed for a hot shower. When she emerged some twenty minutes later, all was quiet. She saw the glow under her brother’s door and heard the faint sound of music coming from inside. She pulled the air deep into her lungs and blew it out as relief loosened the muscles of her neck and shoulders. Like a major storm that dropped down from the sky without warning, Jace had again breezed in and out, this time leaving no damage behind. But more storms would come. Jace wouldn’t let this go. She knew in her gut he hadn’t been convinced. He would think about it. Remember their time together. And he would be back.
* * *
As Jace drove through the small town square headed north toward the ranch, he couldn’t get Kelly and her baby out of his mind. His heart had dropped to his knees when he first saw the infant in her arms. The last thing he’d expected was for Kelly to have a child. Then the idea had hit him hard. Was he the father? He’d always been so careful. He didn’t want to have any kids. He knew all too well what the title of dad meant in his family.
To this day, he could still vividly remember the smell of burned grease and scorched onions that had filled every corner of the shoddy apartment above the fast-food joint where he and his parents lived when he was around ten or eleven. It was during that time that something had happened. Something had changed. He never knew what. His mother had refused to discuss any of it. But his father had begun drinking and the arguments between them had grown worse. Louder. More intense. Then the abuse had started, his dad taking his fist to the first one he saw when he walked through the door. To try to protect his mom, Jace had endured a lot of it. His mother had been the strong one, taking her son away from the horrific situation. A couple of times after the divorce, his father had found them and it got bad before the cops arrived. Even after all these years, Jace still hadn’t completely let go of his hatred of the man. And he would always admire his mom’s strength of will.
Finally, in the predawn hours of a Sunday morning, two police officers had stood outside their door. They’d explained that her ex, George Compton, had been killed in an alley behind a bar. Jace’s only thought had been that some stranger got to the bastard before he could.
Jace could still feel the sinking sensation he’d experienced when reality hit that night. In that moment, with those two cops standing at the door, he’d had an epiphany. He was George Compton’s son.
He’d never put it into perspective before. His primary focus had always been survival. He and his father shared the same face and deep jaw. They had the same green eyes. Same color hair. If they were so much alike on the outside, it had to be true for the inside. When Jace had realized that, the earth seemed to tilt and spin.
Before he turned sixteen, he’d been in and out of juvie a half dozen times for altercations with guys in the neighborhood and at school who had somehow found out about his dad and wanted to see if the son was as worthless. He’d had so many suspensions he never did figure out how they’d let him stay in school. His junior year, he’d tried out for football on a dare. He put himself up against classmates who had been active in the sport since fifth grade and wanted to see Jace Compton go down. They were merciless on the new kid, which suited Jace just fine. He’d poured out all his aggression on the field. It was his saving grace. And, as it turned out, football was something he was good at. After three games, he’d earned the respect of a lot of his teammates. His grades came up, and just before graduation he was offered a college scholarship. His love of the sport carried him almost four years. Then amazingly he’d been picked up by the pros. No one knew that every tackle he made, he was taking down George Compton. Every catch and subsequent dash for the goalpost was a screw you to his old man.
After a freak injury ended his football career, Jace began to work with young athletes. He enjoyed teaching them about his favorite sport anytime he got the chance. But any hope that he’d someday have kids and a family of his own had been stomped into the ground a long time ago, beaten out of him by his father’s fists.
Still, the idea of Kelly bearing his son was immediately, unbelievably gratifying. His body surged to readiness. Protective instincts rallied to the surface, taking him to a place he’d never been before.
He took a deep breath, pulling the humid night air into his lungs. If the child was his, why hadn’t Kelly called? He knew instinctively she wouldn’t have kept something so important from him. It wasn’t her way. And surely she would want help with the baby, child support...something. Most women would beat a path to their attorney as soon as a pregnancy was confirmed. There had been two women who had actually schemed to make Jace think they were pregnant just to get rings on their fingers or obtain a few million dollars in their bank accounts.
But Kelly wasn’t like other women. He would be wise to keep that in mind. It wasn’t only her beauty that drew him to her. She was feisty and independent to a fault. She was intelligent and decisively stubborn. Her convictions and beliefs ran deep, and her sense of right and wrong went to the core.
What phone number had he given her before he left? He couldn’t remember. The security he had to maintain made it damn near impossible to reach him by phone unless one knew the phrase or identifying password. It changed every few weeks. Had he provided his private cell number? His gut tightened. If she’d tried to call when she realized she was expecting and couldn’t get through his security, she would be...furious. Suddenly all the little pieces fell into place with the force and impact of a nuclear implosion.
Dammit to hell.
He slammed on the brakes, bringing the truck to a screeching stop. Jerking it into reverse, he backed into a side street, turned around and headed back to Kelly’s house. No wonder she’d wanted to get away from him and been so angry. Not only had he lied to her, but he’d gotten her pregnant and left the country. Then the first time he saw her in over a year he’d called her a crook.
Jace wanted to punch something other than a punching bag. Bret better be glad he was a thousand miles away. Jace had zero doubt his manager had lied to keep Jace from coming back to her. That he’d ever bought into that crap about Kelly having a criminal record caused a giant ball of rage to churn in his gut. His instincts had told him not to believe Bret at the time. Why the hell hadn’t he listened to them? Bret probably saw her as a threat to his future income. If Jace quit the films, his manager’s gravy-train run would be over.
But while it was easy enough to blame his manager, ultimately, in this, there was no one to blame but himself.
His mind returned to Kelly. A thousand questions hit him with pinpoint accuracy and he couldn’t answer even one of them. Did he have a child? A son? Despite using precautionary measures, it was more than possible. When he’d held Kelly in his arms, the passion was intense beyond anything he’d ever experienced. He’d never wanted to let her go. His desire for her was insatiable. Their nights together had turned into days, and then back into nights. It began as hot sexual need. But by the time he had to leave, that white-hot passion had expanded into the blending of two souls. Even now, just thinking about her, those blue-green eyes crazy with need for him, the scent of her shampoo, the feel of her silky skin and the soft cries as her desire crested at the pinnacle of their lovemaking, had parts of him hard and throbbing. Kelly had a way of making him crazy. Apparently some things didn’t change.
* * *
Kelly sighed with relief knowing she’d skirted one confrontation, but was equally aware there would be more to come. Jace wouldn’t give up and just go away. She knew him that well. He went at everything he did with dogged determination. Whether it was training a filly at the ranch where he’d stayed a year ago or hiding his identity from the world. From her. While it had been a shock to learn his real name and profession, it didn’t come as a surprise how easily he’d duped her. Jace Compton was proficient at anything he set out to do. It was small wonder he was highly acclaimed as an actor. And according to Matt, Jace had received the same admiration when he played pro football. It was all or nothing. Defeat wasn’t a word in his vocabulary.
But she qualified the thought: it was possible he hadn’t as yet come up against a mother protecting her child. Whatever rules governed his life would fly out the window. There were no offsides or penalties. No interceptions. No retakes. Kelly might not be a match for him on a football field or a movie set, but Jace would encounter significant resistance if he tried to push into her life with intentions of taking her child. Figuratively, he’d be lucky if he came out with only minor scratches and a limp.
She’d just turned off the kitchen light and was headed to her bedroom when a hard knock on the front door stopped her in her tracks. Surely not. Surely Jace wouldn’t come back here tonight. But intuition told her he was standing on the porch. Squaring her shoulders, she returned to the front room and opened the door.
“We need to talk.”
It was neither a demand nor a question, but somewhere in between. She wasn’t about to act as though she didn’t know what he wanted to discuss. With a glance back at Matt’s closed door, she stepped outside, closing the front door behind her. She absently noticed the rain had stopped. A cooling breeze touched her skin. Somewhere in the distance crickets chirped. But her focus was on the big man who stood in front of her, almost a silhouette in the night.
“Is the baby mine?”
Kelly wanted to be anywhere but here. She had often envisioned this moment, but at the same time kidded herself into believing it would never happen. She drew in a deep breath. She couldn’t lie to a man about his own child. Regardless of what he’d done to her, he had the right to know the truth. It was what he might try to do with that truth that had her on the brink of panic.
“Yes.”
“Kelly, why didn’t you tell me? The cell number I gave you should have worked.”
He didn’t question whether she was telling the truth, a fact that surprised her. But his voice held frustration mixed with anger. She knew only too well what those feelings felt like.
As many times and in as many ways as she’d tried and failed to reach him, his question sounded ridiculous. Part of her wanted to go back inside the house and close the door behind her, refusing to give him a second more of her time. The other part of her wanted to share the wonder of their beautiful son. The little things that made him laugh. The way he mouthed what would someday be words. The overall amazement of him.
Did Jace deserve to know such things? Did he even care? She’d wasted months of her life alternately wishing he would come back and hoping he never would. In her mind she’d practiced what she would say if she ever saw him again, all sorts of scenarios with a wide variety of outcomes. Now that the moment was here, she didn’t have a clue how to proceed or what to say. She crossed her arms over her chest and faced him.
“I did try to reach you. It was a bit of a challenge since I didn’t even know your name.”
“Kelly—” He raked his hand through his hair.
“The cell number you gave me kicked over to a voice mail box that was full. You really should learn to delete your old messages. Some new ones might be important.”
She’d swear he cringed.
“I was able to contact your friend, Garret. The son of the rancher you stayed with last year? He gave me another number and a password, but apparently he had it wrong or it had been disconnected.
“I did speak with your manager. Bret... Gold-something. Goldberg? Goldman? Is that right? It took me about a week to track him down. Another five weeks to get him on the phone. He didn’t think it was such a good idea that I talk with you.”
She ignored the obscenities that fell from Jace’s mouth.
“I tried a couple more times to reach you through your cell, but after a few months, I gave up. So. Now you know. You have a son. Belated congratulations.”
Kelly could hear the sarcasm in her own voice but made no effort to conceal it.
“Kelly... I screwed up, okay?”
She shook her head. “No, you didn’t. Screwing up is when you do something accidentally. Not when it’s done on purpose. And so, no. In this case, it isn’t okay. You lied. You lied to me from the moment we met. Then you disappeared and never looked back.”
How many nights had she lain in bed, consumed with the need to hold him, to touch him, to hear his voice again? At times the want had been almost unbearable, her mind elevating it to the level of death. Had he ever thought of her? Did he even remember any part of their time together?
She could sense his aura now, feel the warmth from his body through the darkness, and that same need ran through her like liquid fire. What was it about this man that made her want to forget the past year? Just forget everything and step into his arms and feel his touch once again? The thought made her angry, and she held on to that emotion. She couldn’t be weak. She had to think of Henry and be strong.
“I understand why you’re mad. You have every right to be.”
“Yes. I do. And before you accuse me of getting pregnant on purpose, I didn’t. I had a career plan and had envisioned a vastly different future. I have no way to prove it and I don’t intend to try. Now, did you want anything else? Or are we finished?”
“I...I don’t know. I’ve only known I had a son for two minutes.”
“Give it about nine months. Maybe it will soak in.” She hesitated, looking absently at the worn paint on the porch where they stood. “He...he almost died, you know?” Her voice broke; tears burned her eyes. “When he was born? They thought I would lose him. For six days, it was hour to hour, minute to minute. But he’s a tough little guy. He may not have been expected or wanted but... Yeah. He’s strong. And he’s smart.” She quickly swiped the tears from her cheeks. “If he gets his strength from his father, I’m grateful to you for that.”
“I want to take care of you. Both of you.”
Logic demanded she consider if it was fair to Henry to deny the financial assistance Jace was more than capable of providing. But they were doing okay. Henry wanted for nothing and she didn’t want to open Pandora’s Box. She shook her head. “We don’t need to be taken care of. I want nothing from you. And he doesn’t need anything from you. There are no shackles here. Contrary to popular belief, I’ve never tried to con anyone. Or entrap them. I’m not about to start now. So just...you know, carry on with your life. Throw your wild parties. Make your films. It’s a little late for regrets, so don’t give us a second thought. We’ll be fine.”
* * *
It took a long time before he could swallow the huge wedge of emotion caught in his throat. Jace couldn’t let it end this way. In light of this new overwhelming discovery that he had a son, he instantly thought of his own upbringing and the monster it had made of him. For now it lay dormant inside, but eventually it would awaken. He should distance himself from Kelly and the baby. But his heart throbbed with the idea they had a son. They’d created a child. He was a father. That, in itself, was enough to mess up any man’s mind. And regardless of how hard he fought to hold on, his common sense went down the tubes.
“I want to be in his life.” The words fell from his lips as though he was determined to be heard regardless of the consequences.
“Then what?” She shrugged. “Get your attorneys involved? Let them decide on a visitation schedule that meets with your own agenda? See him when you have time or when you happen to be in the country? Introduce him to all your lady friends vying to be his new mommy? Let him grow up seeing his dad’s face on TV or the big screen? I’m sure the other kids will someday envy him for that. Wow.” Her sarcasm was obvious. “Maybe have your secretary send an expensive gift on his birthday? That’s always a nice touch.”
“Dammit, Kelly. I don’t know how to answer you. I haven’t had a chance to work anything out.” He held her gaze as though it was a lifeline while experiencing a rush of emotions he didn’t want to feel and had no clue how to deal with.
“Then let me answer the questions for you. No. No to you seeing him once or twice a year. No to long-distance phone calls and the inevitable excuses when you miss his birthday. Or his first spelling bee. Or his first softball game. No to him being a media spectacle. He deserves more, and I won’t step aside and let you do that to him. Somehow I’ll stop you if you try.”
He ran a hand over his face. Dammit. He couldn’t deny that a lot of what she said was true. She’d pretty much nailed what would happen if his life continued as it had for the past twelve years. He was more than ready for some normal in his crazy life. He wanted a home, a family. But he didn’t know how to change, and if he was honest with himself, he didn’t know if he wanted to. The work, the travel, the physical aspects of it, the concentration needed...it was the only thing keeping the monster inside at bay.
It was a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. He should take the out she was offering, make sure Kelly had plenty of money in her bank account and leave them both alone before he caused them to be thrown into the media spotlight, which she would no doubt view as under the bus. Before he became abusive like his old man. It made Jace every kind of selfish for wanting to keep them in his life. But he did. And how convoluted was that?
Despite her show of bravado, he wanted to pull her into his arms, hold her close and promise he would make everything okay. But he couldn’t. He didn’t know how to make her believe things would work out when he had doubts about it himself. He knew he had to do something. But the answer of how to make this right seemed worlds away.
After all she’d been through Kelly had more internal fortitude than anyone he’d ever known, with the single exception of his mom. But while Kelly’s resilience and internal strength were admirable, he couldn’t leave things as they were regardless of what she said she wanted or, in fact, didn’t want.
“He is my son.”
“Yes.” She nodded. “He is.”
“And you want me to just walk away?”
She looked down, as though giving her answer serious thought. “I’m telling you that you have a choice. His life will not revolve around yours. I won’t stand by while you break his heart, then try and pick up the pieces after you again disappear.”
“Kelly—”
She raised her hand to silence him.
“That said...” She hesitated as if making up her mind about a difficult decision. “I have plans for tomorrow, but if you want to see him while you’re here, come by Monday afternoon. I get home around five thirty. He’s still too young to form any attachment or be upset when you leave.” She again brushed at a spot just below her eye. He heard a soft sniff. “I’m not doing this to be mean, Jace. You have every right to see your son. He’s beautiful. You will be so proud. I...I wish you could be in his life always. Every day. But we both know that isn’t realistic. And I have to protect Henry, even if it’s from his own father.”
“We can work this out, Kelly. I know we can.”
Her eyes found his through the darkness. “Maybe,” she whispered.
Maybe was better than no. Jace would take it for the time being. He understood what she was saying. Between the travel his career required and the fear that he might someday become as abusive as his father, he couldn’t argue—even though he wanted to.
“I have to be up early in the morning. It’s late.”
“Okay. Monday. Five thirty. I’ll see you then.”
Kelly nodded, stepped inside and closed the door.
* * *
Jace blindly turned and walked to his truck. His emotions were all over the place. Even though he didn’t like it at all, he had to give merit to Kelly’s need to protect the baby. He wanted to be angry with her, his mind playing out the possibilities of what would have happened if he hadn’t come back. Would she have waited until the child was grown to introduce them? Or simply raised the boy to believe he had no father? Either way was unacceptable. Yet on the heels of that thought was the fact that she had tried to reach him. He had no doubt she’d tried. It was a vicious circle and it all came back to him. He’d screwed up. Royally.
He climbed inside the truck, slamming the door quite a bit harder than was needed. All the regrets, all the shouldas and couldas, were tripping through his mind. But the big question was: what was he going to do now? It was so overwhelming he wished he had reason to doubt his paternity. But he knew, without any doubt, the baby was his. Kelly just wasn’t a person who would make up something like this. Some would. But not Kelly.
Inasmuch as she intended her life to continue as it had so far, Jace knew it wouldn’t happen. Her world was about to change and, from her perspective, not necessarily for the better. Sooner or later the media would find out about the ranch. It was only a matter of time. And eventually there was a very good possibility they would discover Kelly and their son. Especially if she’d listed Jace’s name on the birth certificate. It would turn her life into a media circus, one she was not equipped to handle. He’d dealt with overzealous fans many times and knew what they were capable of. It wouldn’t be safe for Kelly or the baby, and he could not stand back and let that happen.
He pulled away from the curb and headed for the ranch. He had a son. Even knowing all the obstacles in front of them, the idea of having a child was enthralling. The more the fact soaked in, the more incredible it became.
How could he go forward and not include Kelly and the baby in his life? Her vulnerability, her innocence about the world and the people in it who would use her for a stepping-stone to further their career, concerned him. The overwhelming desire to take care of her and the baby fought the knowledge that it could never happen because someday he could hurt them. A surge of intense feelings for her made him ache inside. The war that raged was the most intense pain he’d ever experienced. Broken bones had nothing on the anguish tearing his insides to shreds.
If he cared about Kelly, about his son, he needed to walk away. But where would he find the strength to do so?
