Читать книгу The Complete Ruby Redfort Collection: Look into My Eyes; Take Your Last Breath; Catch Your Death; Feel the Fear; Pick Your Poison; Blink and You Die - Lauren Child - Страница 29

Chapter 12.

The silent G

THEY WERE MET IN THE CORRIDOR by an uptight-looking man in a self-conscious sort of suit.

‘Ruby... Redfort?’ he said, reading from his clipboard as if there were a whole troupe of school children waiting to take a secret agency test.

Ruby looked around. ‘Well, I’m pretty sure she’s called Buzz,’ she said, nodding at Buzz. ‘So I guess that would be me.’

The man sniffed. ‘Follow me, would you.’ He was very uptight. He could only be about twenty-three and was dressed in a pathetically showy way. All hair product and bleached teeth but no style.

Ruby caught sight of his ID badge. ‘Miles Froghorn?’

‘That’s Frohorn,’ corrected the man. ‘The G is silent’

He led her down a series of orange through yellow through ochre corridors. Ruby trailed her fingers on the shiny gloss paint and the man snapped his head round. ‘Please don’t touch.’ Ruby opened her mouth to speak but the man held up his hand. ‘No questions please.’

Boy, is this guy a prize potato head.

They continued in silence until he stopped, opened a door of uncertain colour – commonly described as sludge – and pointed to a desk in the middle of an empty room. He then placed a pile of papers on the table. ‘Here’s a pencil. You have one hour and one minute. You are only required to give one answer, any crossings out, any changes of mind, will be seen as a wrong answer. If you have an urgent need to go to the bathroom, suppress it. Any questions? Good, I didn’t think so.’

‘Yep Mr Froghorn, just one actually.’ (She ignored the silent G thing.) ‘Have you ever considered moving into the care industry because boy, I really think you might be wasting those great people skills.’

Froghorn looked at her, all beady eyes and defensive – like a cobra, or was it a jackal?

‘Do your test little girl, fail it, and then I’m sure an adult will drive you home. A few people here might rate you, but what you need to be aware of is that you are no Bradley Baker and you never will be.’

‘Just who is this Bradley Baker?’

But Froghorn wasn’t about to explain. When he exited the room he slammed the door so hard the sound echoed down the corridor.

I must remember that silent G, said Ruby to herself.

Ruby picked up her pencil and took a look at the papers in front of her. There were thirty-seven problems and one hour and one minute to solve them in. That meant just ninety-nine seconds on each one. She glanced at the clock and began reading.

Spectrum Agency Test –

37 problems – Time 61 minutes.

(1) You have to take three criminals back to the County Jail: Alexei Asimov, Walter Trunch and Carlo Carlucci. You have to cross a river on the way, and the boat only takes two people at a time. The trouble is that if you leave the criminals together, Asimov will kill Trunch, and Trunch will kill Carlucci. How can you get them safely across the river?

She smiled, geez that was easy – just thirty-six to go.

(2) You have seven gold bars. However one of them is a counterfeit and weighs less than the others. You have a set of balance scales but you may only use them twice. How do you identify the counterfeit gold bar?

Boy, if all the questions were going to be this simple the time was really going to drag.

(3) Calculate

* ANSWERS AT THE BACK OF THE BOOK!

Now this is more like it – question three was one of those questions that keep highly respected mathematicians up all night. Ruby furrowed her brow – for about twenty-eight seconds, then she grinned.

Oh, I get it.

When Froghorn walked back into the room he found Ruby hunched over the test papers, chewing her pencil.

‘Oh dear, you seem to be stuck – too hard?’ asked Froghorn, barely able to contain his mirth.

‘Well it’s just I’m sorta confused.’

‘Never mind little girl, it is a very difficult test – tricky for children to make sense of.’

‘Oh that’s a relief because this question didn’t make any sense at all.’

He looked over her shoulder.

(25) Spectrum agents Bret and Emily and Chuck are all driving to a Clairvoyants’ concert. They set off an hour before the concert. Bret takes route A which is twice as long as Emily’s route B but the average of their two routes is the same as Chuck’s route C. Trouble is Bret gets lost and goes 10 miles out of his way meaning he ends up travelling as much as the combined distance Chuck and Emily travel. Assuming they all drive at 40 miles an hour, how late is Brett for the concert?

‘I have to admit, less able people do find that a tough one,’ he smiled meanly.

Ruby looked at him, all big eyed innocence. ‘Oh that’s not the problem. I get that the answer is fifteen minutes – it’s just I don’t get why anyone would travel so far to go see a lame band like the Clairvoyants.’

Miles Froghorn’s mouth twisted into a mean little O. He snatched up the papers and stormed out of the room. Ruby wished she could tell Clancy about this super sap. She could just see Clancy’s expression, mouth wide, eyes blinking – boy, could she ever do with talking to him.

While she waited, Ruby amused herself by doodling unflattering pictures of Froghorn in the back of her notebook – they were pretty good actually.

Twenty-five minutes later there were footsteps in the corridor and Ruby was relieved when it was Hitch who walked into the room and not the silent G.

‘Ready to go kid?’

Ruby nodded.

Hitch motioned to the door. ‘Come on then, let’s get out of here before Froghorn sees those unpleasant little cartoons you did of him.’

‘Hey, how did you know about that?’

‘I was watching you on the monitor – not bad, you have a talent for caricature.’

‘Thanks,’ said Ruby. ‘Clancy and me are thinking of publishing our own comic book.’

‘Good for you,’ said Hitch.

They walked in silence for about fifteen seconds before Ruby blurted, ‘So?’

Hitch gave her a blank look.

‘So, how did I do?’ said Ruby.

‘Oh that,’ replied Hitch. ‘Yes, well done – thirty-six out of thirty-seven. Not bad.’

‘I got one wrong?’ said Ruby dumbfounded.

He winked. ‘Nah kid, I’m just messing with you.’

Ruby stopped walking. ‘So you’re saying I passed? I musta passed right? I mean thirty-seven out of thirty-seven, that has to be a pass.’

Hitch looked at her. ‘Don’t get your underwear in a twist kid, you passed.’

She tried to keep her cool but still, she had just passed the Ninety-Nine second test; anyone would find themselves smiling about that, wouldn’t they?

When they stepped inside the elevator, Ruby asked, ‘So who is this mystery Bradley Baker guy?’

‘Bradley Baker?’ replied Hitch. ‘He’s no one.’

There were a lot of things Ruby didn’t know about Spectrum but one thing she was already sure about was that Bradley Baker was not ‘no one’.