Читать книгу The Unfortunates - Laurie Graham - Страница 19

In March 1918 the Bolsheviks surrendered to the Hun and Uncle Israel Fish took me to the theater to see Harry Lauder. Mr Lauder was a Scotchman. He wore a skirt and sang songs I couldn’t understand, but Uncle Israel seemed to enjoy them very much indeed. After the show we went to the Waldorf for champagne wine and oyster soup, and he said it would be a good time to have a little talk about my impending inheritance.

‘You’ll get a monthly allowance,’ he said, but he wouldn’t say how much. ‘Don’t want you running wild with it, Pops,’ he said. ‘And you’ll have a nice spread of stockholdings, keeping your money working for you.’

I said, ‘Will I be richer than Honey?’

‘What kind of a question is that?’ he said. ‘Harry’s made some smart investments for Honey. I’m not party to the details, of course, but Harry has a head on his shoulders. He has a nose for the coming thing.’

I remarked that I didn’t want Harry’s nose anywhere near my investments.

‘Never fear,’ Uncle said, ‘I’ll be managing your fund, and you’ll find me a more conservative investor than these young bloods. Stay liquid, that’s what I always advise. You won’t catch me buying big houses in Oyster Bay.’

That was Harry’s latest thing. He foresaw a need for convalescent homes on Long Island once we had won the war.

I said, ‘But when shall I be old enough to manage my own fund?’

I believe Uncle Israel looked a little hurt.

‘Well, of course,’ he said, ‘I shan’t be around forever. And when you marry …’

I said, ‘But I’m not allowed to marry. I have to stay home and take care of Ma.’

‘Who told you such a thing?’ he said. ‘Of course you’ll marry. And then your husband will advise you on your investments. But no hurry. I’m good for a few years yet.’

He ordered a rack of lamb with pommes de terre boulanger. It was news indeed to me that I was no longer expected to remain an old maid. I thought this over as we ate, Uncle making short work of the ribs while I concentrated on the potatoes. They were the best I had ever tasted.

The champagne wine had made me feel a little fizzy, but I was suddenly awake enough to see a connection between my secretly restored eligibility and the abrupt silences that fell whenever I walked in on Ma and Aunt Fish. They were matchmaking.

‘Uncle Israel,’ I said, ‘did you ever meet Mr Jacoby?’

He choked a little on a piece of meat and turned quite purple before he was able to catch his breath and order a glass of brandy. He dabbed at his eyes with his napkin.

‘Judah Jacoby?’ he said, eventually. ‘Yes, I know him. I remember his father, too. Of course, they were just importers when they started, but they’re in everything now. Everything from the pelt to the finished garment. Fine quality and square dealings. That’s Jacoby.’

I said, ‘His wife died, you know, and her sister helped him raise his sons?’

‘Oh yes,’ he said. ‘I hear all about it, never fear.’

I said, ‘And Oscar Jacoby is gone for a soldier. Do you happen to know which lot he’s with?’

‘No idea,’ he said. ‘Though I’m sure I’ve been told. I leave my superiors to keep up with that side of things.’

And he gave me a funny greasy smile. My heart was racing.

I said, ‘Uncle Israel, Ma and Aunt Fish are always laughing and whispering when they come home from the Jacobys’ but they don’t tell me anything. Do you suppose … ?’

‘Pops,’ he said. He leaned across the table and patted my hand. ‘I have learned not to suppose anything. Who can possibly fathom what Dora and Zillah find amusing? Perhaps they’re matchmaking. Perhaps they’re just enjoying their war. Now, who’s for charlotte russe?’

I went home with a warm, fluffy feeling inside my tummy. Ma was already in bed, but her light was still burning so I went into her and gave her a kind of hug that was not customary in our family.

‘Oh Ma,’ I said, ‘I’m so happy.’

‘Poppy,’ she said, ‘I do believe you’re tight. Did Israel explain everything? About your money?’

‘He did,’ I said. ‘He explained everything.’

Alone in my room I tried on Grandma Plotz’s tourmaline ring, then I lay down and counted my blessings.

1. By November I would be a mustard heiress and Uncle Israel would keep me liquid. Whatever that meant.

2. Destiny was conspiring with my mother and my aunt to unite me with none other than the very beau of my choice, Oscar Jacoby.

3. I was Jewish, to just the right degree.