Читать книгу Goals to Gold - Lee Sandford - Страница 24

For years I wondered what on earth happened at Anfield that day. What caused me to lose my nerve so completely? Whenever I had to approach events in life that scared me, I thought of that moment. Now, I realise I became overwhelmed by the pressure. In my mind I had this perception that I didn’t deserve to be out there, that I wasn’t good enough to be on the same pitch as my heroes, these giants of football.

This was my first lesson in understanding the concept of the mental game. You can be physically fit and prepared, and have all the best intentions in the world, but if on the day, in the moment, you listen to those voices of doubt, you’re doomed.

These days, most sports training programmes encompass an element of psychological preparation, but back then, apart from the pre-game pep talk, it was a fairly new concept. There were no sports psychologists helping you overcome mental blocks. There was a focus on the team spirit, of course, but there was no one to tell you what to do with your own individual fears; to teach you how to confront those voices that rise up in you at the worst moments, saying, “You’re going to fail, you can’t do this,” or, “You’re going to make a fool of yourself, everybody’s going to laugh at you.”

It was the only time in my football life that this happened to me, that I froze and was unable, on any level, to pull something out of the bag. It never happened again, but thinking back to that moment still gives me chills today.

The next time I experienced something close to that paralysing sensation of fear, I was older and in a different career. This time, it was a fear of public speaking. It was a strange concept, to be afraid of being in front of people, because I’d played football in front of thousands of people and I’d always enjoyed performing to a crowd. There’s nothing like that huge roar from the fans when you’re winning. Speaking to people was a whole different ball game for me though.

When it happened, when I froze up in fear just before I was due to give a lecture to a group of traders a few years ago, I immediately sought help. I managed to get some great training to help me battle those fears, those voices of doubt that can destroy even the most talented people.

I stayed at PFC for three more seasons. By the time I was 21, Alan Ball had left and gone to Stoke City. Our new manager was John Gregory. We’d just been relegated so spirits were low. Plus, Gregory brought with him a whole batch of new players. Things were changing and I missed the old days.

A phone call came through the day before the PFC Christmas party in 1989 – it was Alan Ball asking me if I wanted to sign with Stoke. At that point I was out of contract with PFC, so I didn’t hesitate for one moment before saying yes. I packed my bags and drove to Stoke the next day.