Читать книгу Wildfire Sweethearts - Leigh Bale - Страница 10
ОглавлениеTessa Carpenter stared with dismay at the drafts of gray smoke billowing from the engine of her beat-up old truck.
Correction. Zach’s truck. Even though her elder brother had died last summer, she would never sell his truck, even if it did qualify for the scrap pile.
Cruising down the highway at sixty-five miles per hour, she tapped the brake to decrease her speed. The moving trailer attached to the back hitch trembled slightly. It held all her worldly possessions. Clothes, books, bedding, her firefighting pack and her precious picture albums. Not a lot, but she didn’t want to lose any of it.
She gripped the steering wheel as the vehicle slowed. Edging over onto the shoulder, she killed the engine. As she thrust open the heavy door, she caught the acrid scent of burning oil. Her nose twitched with repugnance and she got out to inspect the problem.
Great! Just great. If it was a flat tire, no big deal. She could change that in a heartbeat. She’d done it before. Many times, in fact. But truck engines? She didn’t have a clue. As the only woman on the Minoa Interagency Hotshot crew, she could do anything the guys could do. It was just a matter of patience and leverage. But engines were not her forte. Never had been, never would be. She was better at numbers and always ended up doing the inventory reports instead.
She rested her hands on her hips. Turning her face into the fresh April breeze, she took a deep inhale then blew it out in an irritable sigh. She was officially stranded on Highway 50, halfway between the sleepy mining towns of Eureka and Austin, Nevada. It wasn’t called the Loneliest Road in America for nothing. Her gaze took in miles of brown hills, sage and rabbit brush. Not a single building or car in sight.
Well, no sense standing here gawking. Hotshots were people of action. It could always be worse. At least it wasn’t raining. And while the spring weather was unseasonably warm, it could be a whole lot hotter, too.
She popped the hood to the engine then jumped back as she was engulfed in a cloud of smoke. She couldn’t tell where it came from and wondered if the truck had overheated, or if it had a more serious issue.
Reaching into the pocket of her blue jeans, she pulled out her cell phone and entered her security number. A huff of impatience whooshed from her throat. No connectivity out here in the middle of nowhere. She’d have to wait for someone to come along. Which could take hours.
So much for her plans to arrive in Minoa early enough to unpack and settle into her furnished apartment before driving thirty miles to Carson City to return the mover’s trailer. Minoa was too small a town to have a truck rental business. As long as she turned the trailer in by tomorrow night at seven o’clock, she wouldn’t have to pay any late fees. But she’d be in deep kimchi if she didn’t report for her first day back at work tomorrow morning.
Leaving the hood up to signal for help, she climbed inside the truck and lowered the windows to catch the mild breeze blowing across the Nevada desert. She stared out her windshield, wishing she had a book to read. Reaching for the water bottle she’d stowed in the cup holder an hour earlier, she popped the lid and took a deep swallow before setting the bottle aside.
She had just dozed off when the low thrum of an approaching vehicle brought her back to the present. A shiny blue pickup truck pulled up behind her. In the side mirror, she caught the flash of a tall, well-built man getting out and walking toward her. Dressed in faded blue jeans, his long legs moved in a self-assured stride. But something familiar about that muscular physique caused her to narrow her eyes.
No, it couldn’t be.
Her pulse sped up into double-time, her breath rushing out in a lung-squeezing sigh. A warm, tingly sensation flowed over her as she tilted her head to get a better look in her rearview mirror.
“Oh, no.” She leaned her forehead against the steering wheel and groaned.
Sean Nash. Her ex-fiancé. Except for her brother, he was the only man she’d ever loved. Okay, that wasn’t entirely true. She’d loved her father once, before he’d abandoned her family when she was only seven years old. But that was so long ago that she barely remembered him.
Standing beside her door, Sean angled his face toward her and flashed a dimpled smile. A smile that still turned her brains to mush.
“Hi, there. I didn’t expect to meet you all the way out here in the middle of nowhere.” His voice sounded low and reserved. No doubt he was surprised to see her, too.
“Likewise,” she said, wondering what he was doing here.
“Looks like you’ve got some car trouble,” he said.
Morning sunlight sprayed across his too-broad shoulders, highlighting his short, curly hair. He shifted his weight in a careless, confident stance that told her he knew how to handle himself in any situation. Except she knew that wasn’t true.
A lance of anger speared her, but she ignored it. He’d always been in charge. Always demanding the best out of his crew. So calm under pressure. Never needing anyone. Not even God. But when she thought of how their relationship had fallen apart, she didn’t know how Sean could act so cool and remote around her. Not when her entire body was trembling with emotion.
“Something’s the matter with the engine,” she said.
Warring sentiments fogged her brain. Relief, anger and sorrow. She wrestled to make sense of it all and tried to maintain her composure. After all, he’d been the one to break off their engagement. The day after her brother’s funeral, he’d taken her for a quiet ride in his truck. He’d parked beneath the shade of an elm tree on the outskirts of town and stared out the window as he’d told her that he didn’t want to marry her anymore. She knew he was hurting over Zach’s death. They both were. But she thought they could comfort one another. Unfortunately, he didn’t see it that way. He’d suffered smoke inhalation, torn ligaments, shock and second-degree burns. They’d postponed the funeral until he was released from the hospital. In the chaos of comforting her distraught mother, nursing her own grief and making burial arrangements, Tessa had spent long hours sitting by Sean’s bedside. But the day after the funeral, he had told her that his change of heart had nothing to do with Zach. That his priorities had simply changed and he wanted to move on. His plans no longer included her.
We’re not right for each other. I don’t want to marry you now.
The sting of those words still haunted her, like a sliver lodged in her heart. He didn’t want her anymore.
Unfortunately, she was now stranded and needed Sean’s help. She couldn’t see his eyes through his dark sunglasses. She hated when he wore them because she couldn’t read the emotions on his face. A face she knew as well as her own. The high forehead, saber-sharp cheekbones, stubborn chin and translucent blue eyes that pierced her to the core every time he looked at her. Handsome, with a careless smile that could scorch her toes to ash. But something was different about him. Something that hadn’t been there before Zach’s death. Something she couldn’t quite put a finger on.
Wearing a white T-shirt and boots, Sean still looked lean, strong and ready for action. Considering they both fought wildfires for a living and he’d been a squad leader on her crew last season, she figured he was dressed appropriately. It suited his personality. Rugged and masculine. Always prepared. Always in control.
Until the day Zach had died.
Sean stepped back as she opened the door. She climbed out, trying not to look at him. Trying not to let his presence undermine her composure. He was the last person she’d expected to see on this deserted road. Unfortunately, this was the main road heading from Ely to Reno. The only road, unless she wanted to drive on dirt and go four-wheeling.
“What are you doing all the way out here?” she asked, catching his scent. A subtle mixture of spicy cologne and licorice candy.
He gave a lazy shrug. “Driving to Minoa, the same as you.”
“After last fire season, I thought you were planning to move to Idaho. You said you were putting in on a fire control management job in Boise,” she said.
“No, I decided to wait a bit longer.”
Wait for what? The job had surely closed by now and he’d lost his window of opportunity. Frankly, she doubted he’d like being cooped up in a stuffy office anyway. He’d always preferred working out in the field, where the action was.
“So, you’ve been living in Minoa since last summer?”
Most hotshots like her were seasonal employees, working April through August. But Sean had been a permanent hire with benefits, working twelve months out of the year.
“Yeah, I took a short leave of absence from work, but I’ve been back for five months now. Why?” A thatch of curly black hair fell over his high forehead. Hair she used to thread her fingers through.
“Where have you been? Today, I mean, since you’re out here on this road.” It was too much of a coincidence that he happened to come upon her on this lonely highway, wasn’t it?
“At a training exercise in Utah.”
Hmm. She wondered if one of their mutual friends had told him that she’d be traveling this road today.
After all that had happened, she couldn’t believe he still wanted to fight wildfire. But it seemed to be in his blood. He was good at it, too. None better. An adrenaline junkie who thrived on the action. With no family of his own, he had nothing to lose. A man who acted first and thought about the dangers later.
After Sean had broken her heart, she’d never wanted to see him again. But here he was, bigger than life. And now it appeared that they’d be working together once more. Which made her hands sweat and her stomach feel queasy. If she’d known he was still here, she would have found other employment, on a different hotshot crew in another state. Now it was too late. Because she needed this job. Badly.
Working on this team would give her the firefighting experience she needed to reach her career goals of one day becoming a fire management officer with the Forest Service. Also, the money would pay her college tuition in the fall. Just one more year of schooling and she’d have her master’s degree in resource conservation with a minor in fire science.
She took a deep inhale and let it go, resigned to working with Sean again. If she could fight fire, she could certainly handle this. He was on a different squad than she was and she could keep her distance. If she could just make it through the next five months, she’d never have to see him again. She’d finish school then get a job somewhere far away from his brooding smile and penetrating eyes—and her bittersweet memories.
Without permission, he hopped up into the back of her truck and rummaged around in Zach’s silver toolboxes. Tessa didn’t complain. Over the years, Sean had spent as much time in this rusty vehicle as she had.
“You got any water?” Clutching several tools, Sean jumped down and sauntered toward the front fender. Tough and agile, his body moved with the feline grace of a star athlete.
For several pounding moments, her gaze followed him as he propped his sunglasses on top of his head. He looked good. Too good. But he was thinner than she remembered, and deeper worry lines creased the corners of his eyes. Eyes that now seemed so sad and empty.
She hadn’t seen him in eight months, and it had given her time to think. Breaking up with her so suddenly didn’t make sense. She could understand Sean changing his priorities. Life and death situations had a way of making a person reevaluate what they really wanted. But it had cut her deeply to know that he no longer wanted her. It had also made her slightly suspicious. He’d been cleared of any wrongdoing in Zach’s death, but what if he was responsible somehow? Had he broken up with her out of guilt? Or was he just afraid of loving and losing her the way he’d lost Zach? Maybe there was some other reason she didn’t understand?
Reaching inside the cab, she retrieved her half-empty water bottle. When she returned, Sean was bent over the engine like a pro mechanic. His expressive eyes crinkled as he squinted against the bright sunlight. Without looking up, he shot a hand out and she placed the bottle in his grasp.
Copying his manners, she shook her head. He was still the same old Sean she’d known for nine years. Her brother’s best friend. Tough and proud. Never mincing words.
If only he hadn’t shut her out. If only she knew what had really happened that fateful day when her brother died. After some time had passed, she’d been hoping Sean might call her to talk about Zach’s death, but he hadn’t opened up one bit. As it stood, he’d broken her heart and she no longer trusted him.
“What do you think the matter is?” She ducked her head and peered at the engine.
“It’s overheated.”
“Obviously. But is it serious?”
“We’ll know in a moment.”
Wrapping a handful of his shirttail around his fingers to protect against burns, Sean twisted off the cap to the radiator. They both jerked back as a geyser of steam shot up from the spout. He waited a moment until it settled down then poured the water in. Sizzling sounds filled the air.
“It’s hot, huh?” she said, feeling helpless and out of sorts.
“Yep, it’s bone-dry. We’ll need some more water.”
“I don’t have any more.”
He turned his head and quirked one brow at her, a quizzical expression that used to make her laugh. But not today. Now she felt nothing but betrayal.
“I thought I taught you to prepare better than that. There’s a gallon jug in my truck. Go and get it,” he said.
Hackles rose at the back of her neck, but she fought them off. Because she didn’t want to argue with him now, she retrieved the jug. Moments later he poured the contents into the radiator. It gurgled as he screwed the cap back on.
“Are you ready for work in the morning?” he asked without looking up.
She snorted. “That depends.”
“On what?”
“On whether I can get this old truck to work.”
“It’ll be working. You’ll be there.” He sounded positive, as though he expected nothing less.
“Yeah, I hope so.”
“As soon as you get into town, take the truck over to Grant Metcalf’s garage for a complete overhaul. This piece of junk is overdue,” he said.
“It’s not a piece of junk,” she said.
“Yes, it is.” He was too busy tightening bolts and testing the spark plugs to notice her annoyed glare.
“Get in and start it up.” Sean stood back, holding a wrench in one tight fist. A streak of grease marred his blunt chin.
She refused to hurry as she climbed into the cab and turned the key. The truck gave a belching growl.
“Give it a little more gas,” he called.
She did and the engine roared to life. Sean slammed the hood closed, removed his sunglasses and wiped his damp brow with his forearm. He hopped into the back of the truck, returned Zach’s tools to their place then jumped down and leaned against her door.
“You should be okay now, but I’ll follow you until we reach your apartment in Minoa.” He spoke low, the rich timbre of his voice sending shivers down her spine.
She remembered a time when he would have leaned in and kissed her goodbye. She yearned for him to hold her against his heart again. To tell her that Zach’s death was just a bad dream. That he still loved her and everything would be okay. But he didn’t. And it did her no good to dwell on the reasons why.
“That won’t be necessary. I’ll be fine.” She didn’t think she could stand to have him on her tail for the next three hours. But in this remote area, there was no help for it. And something about knowing he would be following her tied her insides into knots.
“We’re going to the same place, so I’ll stay with you until I know you’re safe,” he insisted.
She bit her tongue, wishing he cared as much about her emotions as he did for her physical well-being.
She gave a bored shrug of her shoulders, thinking she should thank him, but unable to speak the words. “Suit yourself.”
“How’s your mom?”
She blinked at his sudden question, taken off guard. Over the past decade, he’d shared every Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner with her family. All but the most recent, that is. Her mom had loved him like a second son.
“She misses you,” Tessa said.
So do I. But she couldn’t understand where that thought came from. She didn’t love this man anymore. Not after the way he’d tossed her aside. Her father had done the same thing, and she would never trust another man again.
Sean nodded. “Give her my best.”
“Yeah,” Tessa said.
A thatch of curly hair fell into his eyes and he brushed it back, his hands covered with grime. A glaze of perspiration shadowed his freshly shaven face and neck and stained the back of his shirt and underarms.
She glanced down at her own shirt. Although she hadn’t done much, she’d still managed to get grease on her clothes and hands. Feeling suddenly self-conscious, she reached for a pile of napkins she kept stowed in the door pocket and handed him some. He took her offering and they both rubbed at the stains on their fingers.
Even though she got much dirtier than this when she fought wildfires, the filth bothered her. She told herself it was because she was traveling and didn’t want to muck up the interior of Zach’s truck. It certainly had nothing to do with her ex-fiancé being here. After all, Sean had seen her many times on the fireline with her face covered in soot. But off the line, she’d always tried to look nice for him. And old habits died hard. Now they were no longer together, it shouldn’t matter. And she reminded herself that she no longer cared what he thought.
* * *
Sean climbed into his truck and started up the engine. Clicking on his seat belt, he waited for Tessa to pull forward and precede him down the road.
She moved out slowly and he wondered if the trip to Minoa might take all day. Then she picked up the pace, as though testing the strength of her truck.
Correction. Zach’s truck. A beat-up old clunker. But the vehicle hadn’t always been that way. Sean remembered the day Zach had bought the truck nine years earlier. It had been ten years old at the time, but still in good condition. Sean had donated several hundred dollars to the cause when Zach came up short. Now Sean couldn’t help feeling as though the truck was partly his. He and Zach had done a lot of traveling in that vehicle. With Tessa sitting between them like the three musketeers.
Now she resented him. He’d seen that clearly in her beautiful emerald eyes, along with a heavy dose of suspicion. And she had a right. He’d hurt her deeply. Abandoning her, just like her father had done when she was a little girl. It didn’t matter that Sean regretted their broken engagement; he wasn’t willing to undo it. If he told her of his regrets, she wouldn’t believe him. She might even laugh in his face. But he wouldn’t put that weapon in her hands. His heart couldn’t take it.
Waves of disgust washed over him. A hefty dose of self-loathing followed in its wake. In spite of his breakup with Tessa, he’d made a promise to Zach when she first joined the hotshot crew. A promise he intended to keep. That he’d keep her safe on the fireline. That he’d always look after her and protect her, no matter what.
This was her last firefighting season before she finished her college education. Then she’d move on with her career. Sean had no doubt she’d be promoted fast. Someone as sharp and talented as her would probably become an assistant fire management officer somewhere. In a few years she’d move up to FMO. Once she was working in an office, she’d be safely out of danger. Then he could move on, too. He’d failed to save Zach, but he wouldn’t fail again. After this fire season, he’d take a quiet desk job, far away from the trees, smoke and flames. Where he couldn’t make any mistakes that might cost someone else their life.
Silently, he yearned for redemption. If only God could forgive him for failing Zach. If only he could forgive himself.
Tessa hadn’t mentioned her brother. Maybe they were both too surprised to see each other like this. Out in the middle of nowhere. Taken off guard.
When Sean had seen her sitting on the side of the road, a surge of exhilaration had swept over him. He had his sources. A mutual friend had told him she’d be driving along this deserted road to Minoa today. Though he hadn’t planned on coming across her, he’d arranged his own itinerary so that he’d be traveling the same route. Honoring the promise he’d made to Zach, just in case she needed him. And it turned out that she had.
Deep inside, he knew it was more than his promise to Zach that had brought him here today. He tried not to care but couldn’t help craving one more glimpse of Tessa’s pert, stubborn nose and flawless complexion, one more breath of her long, coconut-scented hair. It wasn’t just her beauty that drew him to her, but also her spunk. Her grit. Who she was inside. Something he couldn’t explain. A connecting of their spirits.
Nor could he find any respite from the guilt he carried around like a load of bricks in his heart. The psychiatrist he’d visited several times after the fire had said he was suffering from survivor’s guilt and PTSD. Because he’d failed to save Zach, he didn’t believe he could marry Tessa now. How could he look her in the eye every day of their life together and justify why he’d survived but her brother had died?
She had told him once that she thought there was no justification to ever lose a man or woman’s life on a fire. That it always had to be someone’s fault. In this case, that someone was him. She must surely blame him. And he’d feared that her doubts and resentment would simmer inside her until they slowly destroyed their marriage. He couldn’t put either of them through an ugly divorce. Tessa deserved better than that.
He stared at the back taillights of her trailer. She always packed light. Not a lot of encumbrances to tie her down. That was just one thing he liked about this woman. She didn’t require a lot of baggage. But she wasn’t happy anymore. He could see that in her wary eyes. And he couldn’t blame her. It would take a lot more than eight months for her to trust him again and to recover from Zach’s death.
It might take forever.
They stopped in Austin for fuel. Tessa didn’t wait for him before she pulled up to a pump, climbed out and started filling her tank. He knew she was very capable, but the gentleman in him forced him to brush her hands aside. She jerked and almost sprayed him with gasoline. The pungent scent of petro filled the air.
“Sorry! But you shouldn’t sneak up on a girl.” Her face flushed red as a new fire engine.
“I didn’t mean to startle you. I just wanted to help.”
“There’s no need for you to trouble yourself. I can do this,” she said.
“I know, but it doesn’t sit well with me to let you do this chore when I’m close by.” He spoke low and calm, trying not to fluster her. Trying to ignore the tingles of heat shooting up his arm from where their fingers had touched. When they were on the fireline, he had never interceded with her work. But when they were out like this, he felt that filling up her vehicle was the courteous thing to do. Zach had taught him that and so much more.
Inside the convenience store, he bought her a thin piece of jerky and a diet soda. Not because she asked him to, but because he knew they were her favorite traveling foods.
“Thank you.” She didn’t meet his eyes as she took the items and climbed back into her truck. He got the impression she was purposefully avoiding him, and he thought it was just as well.
Two hours later they pulled into Minoa. Population three thousand and eighty-four. Including dogs, cats and gophers. The perfect size for a wilderness hotshot crew base.
Tessa drove past Rocklin’s Diner, the only restaurant in town, to her small apartment three blocks off Main Street. Her trailer bounced lightly over a speed bump as she pulled into a parking space and killed the engine. She tossed a glance over her shoulder and waved him on, but he didn’t go. Knowing she had a trailer filled with heavy boxes to empty before dark, he parked beside her and got out of his truck.
“Now what are you doing?” she asked when she met him at the back of the vehicle.
He flipped the latch on the trailer and pulled the door open wide. “I’m helping you carry your stuff inside.”
She bumped him aside with her hip. “Oh, no you’re not.”
In the past he would have teased her. Tickling her ribs as they jockeyed for position in the trailer. But not now. For two seconds he thought about leaving her alone but couldn’t bring himself to do so. Not when she needed him. It just wouldn’t be right, even if she was looking at him with a most adorable frown.
Gazing into her eyes, he couldn’t help smiling. “You sure look pretty when you’re being stubborn.”
Her mouth dropped open in surprise. In a rush, he wondered why he’d said such a thing. He had no right to flirt with her. Not anymore. The words had popped out before he could stop them.
To cover up the awkward moment, he reached past her and hefted a beat-up recliner out onto the hot cement. “I thought you had a furnished apartment.”
“I do,” she said.
“Then why are you keeping this ratty old chair?”
Her gaze lowered to the tattered upholstery and he knew the answer without her saying one word. It had been Zach’s chair. She was holding on to anything and everything that had belonged to her brother. Memorializing Zach the only way she knew how.
He almost reached out and brushed a curl off her cheek. Instead, he slid his hands around the armrests. “I miss him, too.”
She jerked her head up, her eyes flashing with anger. “Then why did you shut me out? What are you hiding from me?”
He tensed, not knowing how to explain. “I’m not hiding. Let’s just drop it, Tess.”
“Drop it? Don’t you think you at least owe me an explanation?” Her eyes shot him a dart of hostility.
Yes, but he didn’t respond, forcing himself to be patient. He’d hurt her deeply and she had every right to be upset. Zach’s death had brought him to a standstill. He was haunted by spine-tingling nightmares, recriminations and regrets. But until he figured it out and reconciled it in his mind, he couldn’t move forward. But he couldn’t go backward, either. In fact, he felt stuck in limbo. And it didn’t help that Tessa suspected that Zach’s death was his fault.
Her jaw hardened, her eyes spitting flame. For a moment he thought she might chew him out. Instead, she whirled around and reached for a heavy box. Jerking it free of the trailer, she carried it toward the stairs with a stiff stride.
“Too bad you live on the second floor.” He grunted as he wrapped his arms around the chair and braced the padded sides against the front of his thighs. Waddling like a duck, he wrestled it over to the bottom of the stairs then heaved it up in a hurried rush.
“It’s the one with a view,” she called over her shoulder.
At her apartment door, he set the chair down with a whoof of air and waited for her to insert the key and open the door.
“Were you planning on moving everything in by yourself?” he asked, knowing she could do it. He’d seen her fight fire, after all. In spite of her fragile features, Tessa was a scrapper. She wasn’t overly strong, but she paced herself, using her stamina to work many men under the table.
“I was gonna call Harlie to see if he could help me out,” she said.
Hmm. Sean knew he shouldn’t mind. Harlie was a member of their hotshot crew and a good man. But the guy was also single and nice-looking. Sean had no right to feel jealous, but he did. A lot. And he wished he didn’t.
Within an hour they had the trailer emptied. Sean accepted a drink of water she offered him from the tap in the kitchen. While she busied herself emptying a box, he drained the liquid in three long swallows.
He didn’t ask before he went to work helping her put her possessions away. Since she’d spent three summers living in this apartment, he knew exactly where everything went. He stayed in the kitchen, stacking four plates, glasses and pans into the cupboards. He tried not to remember the many meals they’d prepared and shared at the small wooden table, but it all came back like a rushing flood. The decadent desserts Tessa had made. Zach’s robust laughter as he teased his baby sister. Sean missed the jubilant camaraderie they’d all enjoyed. They’d been so naive and happy then.
Shaking it off, Sean resumed his work. Within another hour they had everything in order. Tessa set her heavy fire pack beside the front door, ready for work in the morning.
“Do you need anything else?” Standing in the middle of the tiny living room, he gazed at the simple but comfortable surroundings and wished he could stay.
“No, I’m good. Thanks for everything. I appreciate it.” She stood nearby, looking up at him with those lovely, magnetic eyes.
He fought off the urge to pull her close against his heart. Every fiber of his being cried out to touch her. To breathe her in. Instead, he slid his hands into his pants pockets and slapped a hard grip on himself. She wasn’t his anymore, and he’d better accept that.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” he said.
She gave one jerking nod and he reached for the doorknob. As he left, he threw a quick glance over his shoulder. She stood right where he’d left her, her eyes mirroring the sadness he felt deep inside.
