Читать книгу Runaway Amish Bride - Leigh Bale - Страница 12

Chapter Two

“What’s taking her so long?”

Abby heard the impatient words as she reached the bottom of the stairs. The voice sounded grouchy, like it came from a young boy. No doubt Reuben was hungry and she was keeping him waiting.

Smoothing one hand over her apron, she subconsciously patted her white kapp before entering the kitchen. A gas lamp hung from the high ceiling, filling the room with warm light. Through the window above the sink, Abby saw the dusky sky painted with fingers of pink and gold. The warmth from the woodstove embraced her chilled arms and hands along with the delicious aromas of food. She hadn’t eaten since the day before and her stomach grumbled as she took another step.

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting.” She stood in the doorway, gazing at the occupants of the room.

Two children, a boy and girl with identical chins and eyes, stared back at her. The boy sat on Jakob’s left with the girl next to him. As Naomi turned from the woodstove with a plate of steaming biscuits, Jakob and an elderly man scooted back their chairs and rose from their places at the head of each end of the long table. Their respect was not lost on Abby, and she stared at them in surprise. No one had ever stood up for her in her father’s home.

“Here she is.” Naomi spoke in a lilting voice as she showed Abby a happy smile.

“Willkomm to our home.” The elderly man hobbled over and took Abby’s hands in his.

This must be Dawdi Zeke, Jakob’s grandfather. His long beard was white as snow, his face lined with deep creases. A pair of wire-rimmed spectacles sat on the bridge of his nose, his gray eyes sparkling with humor and the experience of a long life. As Abby looked at him, she found nothing to fear.

“Danke,” she said, conscious Jakob was watching her.

“Sit here.” Naomi pointed to a chair on Jakob’s right.

As Abby rounded the table, the two children stared at her...the girl with open curiosity, the boy with open hostility.

“But that’s Mamm’s seat,” the boy said.

Abby hesitated, her hand resting along the high back of the wooden chair.

Jakob’s mouth tightened and he didn’t say a word, but his dark eyes mirrored his son’s disapproval.

“I can sit here.” Abby sat across from Ruby instead, not wanting to stir up any more animosity.

In spite of her effort to please him, Reuben gave a gigantic huff and rested his elbows on the table, his chin cradled in the palms of his hands. He eyed her as though she were a stinky dog that shouldn’t be allowed in the house.

“Sit up straight and mind your manners,” Naomi told him with slightly raised eyebrows.

The boy did as asked, but his glare stayed firmly in place. Abby tried not to squirm beneath his unfriendly gaze and decided that ill-mannered children should be ignored. She instead focused on Ruby and was rewarded for her effort. The girl grinned, showing a bottom tooth missing in front.

“You’re pretty,” Ruby said.

“Danke. So are you,” Abby said, feeling the heat of a blush suffuse her face. She wasn’t used to such praise, even from a child.

“You’re not our mamm. You never will be.” Reuben blurted the words angrily, then scooted back his chair and raced out of the room. The chair toppled to the floor with a loud clatter.

Abby flinched.

“Reuben!” Jakob called, but the boy kept going.

Abby blinked, not knowing what to say.

“I’ll go speak with him.” Jakob stood and walked around the table to set the fallen chair back up, then left the room.

Abby stared at her hands. It was obvious that Reuben didn’t like her. That he felt threatened by her. And if she were going to stay here, she must figure out a way to show him that she meant no harm.

“Where did Reuben and Daed go?” Ruby asked, her little chin quivering.

“Reuben isn’t feeling well. Your vadder will look after him, but he will be fine,” Dawdi said.

The girl accepted this without further complaint.

“It’ll be all right,” Naomi whispered and patted Abby’s shoulder, then set the biscuits in the middle of the table and took her seat.

Dawdi smiled at each person in turn, as though trying to bring a better mood back to the room.

“Let us pray and give thanks to the Lord for the bounty we enjoy each day.” He waited patiently for them to bow their heads.

His words warmed Abby’s heart. She couldn’t help comparing Zeke’s actions with those of her father and brother. Back home, if she didn’t hurry, she could find herself receiving a solid smack with the back of her brother’s hand. There was never any tolerance waiting for children or women in his home.

In unison, they closed their eyes. Silently in her mind, Abby recited the Lord’s Prayer from the New Testament. Then, she quickly thanked Gott for bringing her safely to Colorado and asked that He might comfort Reuben and help her make a successful life here. Everyone at the table released a quick exhale, and Ruby reached for the biscuits. Naomi hopped out of her chair and hurried to pour glasses of milk for them. The woman bustled around, seeing to everyone else’s needs. Abby stood up to help, but Naomi pushed her back into her seat.

“You’ve had a long enough day. Just sit and eat your meal.”

Feeling frazzled and exhausted, Abby sat down.

“How was your ride into town on the bus?” Dawdi asked as Naomi ladled thick soup into his bowl.

“It was long and tiring, but I saw some amazing scenery on my journey. Your mountains are so tall. I’m glad to be here,” Abby said truthfully.

“I’d like to ride on a bus someday, but we only travel by horse and buggy,” little Ruby said.

“Unless we need to travel a great distance, as Abby has done. Then we would take the bus,” Dawdi said.

“Then I want to go on a long trip one day. Then I can ride the bus,” she said.

Dawdi smiled. “I’m sure you will, one day.”

Jakob returned a short time later with Reuben in tow. The boy sniffled, his face and eyes red from crying. He paused beside Abby’s chair and stared at the toes of his bare feet.

“Go on. Do as you were told,” Jakob urged the boy.

Reuben heaved a tremulous sigh. “I’m sorry for what I said earlier.”

Overcome by compassion for the motherless boy, Abby couldn’t resist reaching out and squeezing his arm. The moment she did so, she felt him tense beneath her fingertips, and she removed her hand. He might have apologized, but she could tell he wasn’t really sorry.

“It’s all right. No one could ever replace your good mudder,” she said.

He glanced at her face, as though surprised by her words. Then a glint of suspicion flashed in his eyes. He didn’t say anything as his lips pursed and he took his seat at the table. Keeping his gaze downcast, he ate his meal in silence. And then a thought occurred to Abby. Surely Jakob wouldn’t have beaten the boy into submission. She knew many Amish parents adhered to the spare the rod, spoil the child mantra. But not Jakob. Not the man she’d known and trusted all these years. He wouldn’t do such a thing. Would he? She hadn’t seen him in years and didn’t really know him anymore. Maybe he’d changed. And the thought that she might be the cause of Reuben suffering a spanking, or worse, made her feel sick inside. If so, he now had a viable reason to hate her. And if Jakob had struck the boy, she wouldn’t be able to like him either. Maybe it was a blessing they would not be marrying.

She nibbled a biscuit but had suddenly lost her appetite.

Jakob lifted a spoonful of soup to his mouth. He chewed for a moment, then swallowed. “I’ll start plowing the fields tomorrow, but I don’t want to plant the feed corn too soon. We could still get a killing frost.”

“I think we’re safe now.” Dawdi spoke between bites. “We can plant anytime. But tomorrow morning, you should go with the women to the bakery. They’ve got a lot of heavy items to carry and they’ll need your strength. I can stay here and finish staining that oak hutch for Jason Crawley.”

“But the day after tomorrow is the Sabbath. I won’t be able to plant then,” Jakob said.

Dawdi shrugged. “We can plant on Monday. That is soon enough. It’ll give us a couple of extra days since you’re worried about frost. It shouldn’t keep us from having a bountiful harvest.”

Jakob nodded, accepting his grandfather’s advice without protest. Dawdi Zeke might be old, but he knew what he was talking about.

Jakob glanced briefly at Abby, and her senses went on high alert. She felt as though he could see deep inside her, but she couldn’t understand why he made her so jittery. Perhaps it was because she doubted him now, just as she doubted all men. Was it possible the compassionate boy she had known had grown up to be abusive like her brother?

“Ja, you are right. I should drive Mamm into town,” Jakob said. “She is low on flour, and I don’t want her to lift the heavy bags. We will drop off her breads and pies at the bakery, then go to the store and purchase the other supplies she needs.”

“Ach, I can lift those bags just fine,” Naomi said.

“I can help. I’m strong and can do the lifting, too,” Abby offered, wanting to earn her keep.

“Absolutely not. Naomi will be glad to have your help with the baking, but let Jakob lift the bags of flour,” Zeke said.

Abby nodded, returning the man’s warm smile. Back home, her brother expected her to do heavy work. In spite of the aches and pains in her muscles and joints, she’d learned not to ask him for help. Even with Reuben’s outburst, it felt so good to be sitting here, having a familye meal and a normal discussion. It was her first day in Riverton and she was beyond grateful to be here.

She tasted her savory chicken noodle soup, and her hunger took over. Even though she was nervous, she ate her fill, enjoying strawberry preserves spread across her warm biscuits. They consumed one of Naomi’s schnitz apple pies for dessert. And when the meal ended, the men scooted back their chairs.

“I will be out in the barn,” Jakob announced.

Abby realized his evening chores must have been interrupted because of her arrival, and she felt the heat of embarrassment stain her cheeks. Normally, the majority of farm chores were completed before sitting down to the evening meal.

“I’ll help you,” Abby said, wanting to do her part.

“No need. Tomorrow, you can work. Tonight, you should rest,” Jakob said.

Dawdi walked around the table and leaned down to kiss Naomi on the forehead. “Another delicious meal, my dear.”

Likewise, Jakob kissed his mother’s cheek. “Danke, Mamm.”

“Gern geschehen.” Naomi smiled with satisfaction. She squeezed Dawdi’s hand but looked at her son. “Don’t let him overdo or lift anything heavy out there.”

Jakob nodded obediently. “I won’t.”

Dawdi pursed his lips. “You can both stop mothering me. I’ve worked all my life and raised a familye. I’ll lift anything I want. I’m not a boppli.”

No, he definitely wasn’t a baby. He continued murmuring as he hobbled toward the door. Although his words sounded terse, his tone was light and pleasant. Abby knew they were just worried about the elderly man, but she wasn’t used to this kind of loving banter and couldn’t be sure.

“I would never question your skills, Dawdi. You know more about farming than anyone in the state,” Jakob said, resting his arm across his grandfather’s feeble shoulders.

“I’m glad I’m still good for something,” Zeke replied with a laugh.

Abby stared in shock. Growing up, she’d never seen this kind of affection nor gratitude shown in her home. Was this normal in most Amish households, or just this one? It seemed so alien to Abby, and yet she wished she had been raised this way.

“I’ll gather the eggs.” Reuben stuffed half a biscuit into his mouth before pushing away from the table.

“I want to help, too.” Ruby hopped out of her chair, and both children quickly carried their dishes to the sink before kissing their grandmother. Then they raced outside with the men.

Naomi released a huge sigh and finally sat at the table. She cupped her face with her hands, breathing hard.

“Are you all right?” Abby asked.

The woman nodded and sat back, seeming to relax now that her familye had been cared for. “I’m fine. There’s just a lot to do.”

She reached for a bowl and filled it with soup for herself. She began eating, and Abby thought she was overdoing.

“Now that I’m here, I can help take some of the load off you,” Abby said.

Naomi smiled. “Ja, I’m so glad to have you here, my dear.”

Again, the woman’s words warmed Abby’s heart. “The kinder are so eager to assist with the work.”

She was thinking of home again. She’d never been opposed to hard work, but she hated being anywhere near her father or brother. Surely Reuben wouldn’t be eager to help in the barn if his dad was inclined to beating him and Ruby.

Naomi nodded. “They are good children. I hope you know Reuben didn’t mean any harm by what he said earlier.”

“Ja, I understand that he has suffered a great loss. You all have.”

Naomi showed a sad smile. “I am sorry for how this has turned out with Jakob. You must be very disappointed not to be marrying him.”

Abby shrugged. “Not really. I am content not to be married. And I’m so grateful to be able to stay here with you. I promise not to be a burden. I’ll earn my keep.”

“Don’t worry about that. I like having a house full of familye. But you should marry one day. It’s a lot of work but also brings boundless joy. Losing my husband has been difficult, but we had many wonderful years together and I have my grandchildren to enjoy now. But I am very worried about Reuben and Jakob.”

“How many children do you have?” Abby asked, standing so she could clear the table.

“Five, including Jakob, who is the eldest. They are all grown and married now. Three of them live in the Westcliffe area and come to visit us now and then. Colorado isn’t like Ohio, where all of our familye lives close by. Here, we are spread far apart, but we are glad to have affordable land. There is plenty of room to grow. We can have a better future here. My daughter Ruth and her husband live here in Riverton. You’ll meet them at church on Sunday. She is expecting her first child in August. Then I will have eight grandchildren to love. I hope to have many more.”

Abby smiled at the thought, wishing she could have children someday. A husband and a large familye that loved each other had always been her dream. But children of her own would require marriage, which didn’t appear to be in her future. Although it wasn’t quite the same, she would just have to care for other people’s children. Starting with Reuben and Ruby.

“How nice that your familye is growing so much. You must be very pleased,” she said.

Naomi set her spoon in her empty bowl and pushed back from the table with a sigh. “I am. It is good to have a large familye in my old age, but I would feel better to see mein sohn happily married again. I can understand why my husband wrote to tell you that Jakob would marry you. The Amish settlements in Colorado are just beginning to grow. Bishop Yoder fears without enough women, our young men might start marrying outside our faith. I’m sure that is one reason he was eager for you to remain here with us.”

Abby didn’t respond to that. She thought it was better to let the topic die. And yet, she’d had such great expectations. Now, she wasn’t so sure.

“Is Dawdi Zeke your father?” she asked.

Naomi nodded. “He is kind, yet firm in his convictions. He’s lived a long, happy life. Jakob is just like him, although you wouldn’t know it lately. He’s still hurting over losing his wife. But one day, he will realize that Gott wants him to keep going and to be happy. That he cannot live in the past.”

Abby agreed, yet she realized how difficult it must be for Jakob. He’d lost two vital people he loved very much, and she envied that love. How she wished someone in the world loved her the way Jakob loved Susan. Abby was so traumatized by her life in Ohio that she was desperate to leave it behind, yet Jakob wanted to cling to the past. She realized neither mind-set was healthy, but she had no idea how to overcome the problem.

“Now, tell me about Ohio and our old home. Who has married recently and who has had new babies? Tell me all the news.” Naomi stood and walked to the kitchen sink.

Abby willingly complied, drying the dishes while Naomi washed. They laughed and chatted as they worked, soon having the room cleaned up and plans made for tomorrow’s meals. That didn’t diminish the worries in Abby’s mind. She was a stranger in a new home. She’d come here to get married, but surely things had worked out for the best. The Lord knew of her needs and would care for her. She must have faith. Jakob had let her stay, and she didn’t dare ask for more. So why did she feel an unexplainable sense of disappointment deep inside her heart?

* * *

The air smelled of a combination of cattle and clean straw. The horses were inside their stalls, blissfully munching on hay. The sun had all but faded in the western sky, highlighting the fields with shadows of dark purple and gray. Jakob lit a kerosene lamp and set it on the railing. He loved this late time of day, when he’d almost finished his work and could go inside and read or talk with his familye before the fireplace. But lately, he found no peace of mind.

Sitting on a three-legged stool, he set a clean bucket beneath one of their three cows.

“Abby is a sweet young woman, don’t you agree?” Dawdi Zeke asked.

Jakob paused in his milking and glanced over at his grandfather. It was a good thing that Reuben and Ruby were outside feeding the pigs. It might have been a mistake, but he’d told Dawdi about his father’s letters to Abby and that he had refused to marry her.

“She is a nice enough person I suppose,” he said.

Dawdi leaned against the side of the cow he was milking. He sat at a hunched angle, indicating his arthritis was bothering him again. His bucket was almost filled with frothy white milk or Jakob might have tried to get him to go inside. He gave his fragile grandfather as few chores to do as possible. The familye couldn’t stand to lose anyone else right now.

“Susan was a sweet woman, too,” Dawdi said. “It was a shame to lose her. But it’s been over a year and it’s time for you to live again. If you open your heart to love, you will find more joy than you ever thought possible.”

Open his heart to love? Jakob didn’t know how anymore. Even if he could do it, he didn’t want to try. When he’d married Susan, he’d locked his heart to all others. What if he loved another woman and lost her, too? He couldn’t stand to go through that pain a second time, nor did he want to put his children through it again.

“I’ll never love anyone the way I loved Susan,” he said.

“True. Susan was unique and you loved her for who she was. But Abby is unique, too. She’ll bring some man a lot of happiness. If you decide not to love again, then that’s the way it’ll be. But it doesn’t have to be like that. It’s your choice.”

“It wasn’t my choice when Susan died. I can’t tell my heart what to feel or who to love,” Jakob said.

How could he tell his heart to stop loving Susan and start loving another woman? He couldn’t shut it off and on. It wasn’t possible.

“Ja, you can. All you have to do is stop being angry at Gott and start living in the present instead of the past. Look for ways to feel joy and you’ll find it.” With a final nod, Dawdi stood slowly and carried his bucket out of the milking room. He set the container on top of the rough-hewn counter. When he turned, he staggered but caught himself against a beam of timber.

“Dawdi! Are you all right?” Jakob stood so fast that he almost kicked his bucket over. A dollop of frothy white milk sloshed over the pail.

“I’m all right.” Dawdi Zeke held up a hand to reassure him.

Jakob was still worried. With his father passing away so recently, they were shorthanded. To take up the slack, Dawdi Zeke had been overdoing, but he would never complain. Jakob would make a point of doing the milking earlier for a few days, to give his grandfather a rest.

He glanced at the buckets, mentally calculating how many gallons of milk they would have tonight. He knew Mamm would separate the cream later, to make butter and other tasty fillings for the pastries she sold at the bakery in town. During the past few years of drought, the extra income she brought in had been a blessing. With Abby’s help, they should be able to increase their production.

Jakob lowered his head and continued with his task. Yes, Abby was a sweet person from what he could tell, but that didn’t mean he wanted to marry and spend the rest of his life with her.

It would do no good to tell Dawdi that he wasn’t angry with Gott, because he was. Very angry. Yes, he loved the Lord with all his heart, but why had He taken Susan and Daed away when the familye still needed them so badly?

Dawdi leaned against the doorway. “Your vadder was wrong to bring Abby here without your approval, but I believe he had your best interests in mind. No doubt he intended to speak with you about it, but he never got the chance. I hope you won’t feel too harshly toward him.”

Jakob didn’t respond, wishing they could talk about something else. He had loved and respected his father, but he had no idea what the man’s intentions had been. Jakob was no longer a young lad. He was a grown man with kinder of his own, and he had earned the right to choose whom he did and did not marry. His father had been out of line to make promises of marriage to Abby without asking him about it first.

“What are you going to do about Abby?” Dawdi pressed.

Jakob resisted the urge to look up from his milking. “Nothing. We will let her work and live here as long as she wants. I’m not inclined to send her back to her familye if she doesn’t want to go.”

He told his grandfather about his altercation with Simon all those years ago when they had been teenage boys. He didn’t want to send her back to a life of abuse.

Dawdi grunted. “Her daed was no better. I knew him well when we still lived in Ohio. A cruel man, for sure. Everyone in the district knew he beat his horses, wife and kids. Some even believe he was responsible for his wife’s death. His abuse was a constant point of contention in his home. The bishop and deacon spoke to him about it many times, but he never changed. The Lord taught us that loving persuasion is the way for us to lead our households. Otherwise, your familye learns to hate and fear you. And that’s not the way for any man to be.”

“I agree with you,” Jakob said.

Many Amish spanked their kinder, but not Jakob. No matter how disobedient, he could never bring himself to beat his wife or children if they chose not to do as he asked. They were too precious to him, and he didn’t want to become their enemy. But Reuben was getting out of control. Maybe a spanking was what he needed right now.

Dawdi made a tsking sound. “Ach, it’s just as well that it didn’t work out between you and Abby. But no matter. One of the other young men in our district will surely want to marry her. She’s beautiful, young and filled with faith. I doubt she’ll be living with us for very long.”

With those words, Dawdi picked up his bucket and carried it outside, leaving Jakob alone with his thoughts. Jakob stared after the man, stunned by what his grandfather had said. The thought of another man paying attention to Abby bothered him for some odd reason. They wouldn’t know about the abuse she’d suffered. Even Jakob sensed that he didn’t know all the facts. She needed a man who was patient, kind and compassionate. Someone who would adore her and never raise a hand to her or their children.

He tried to tell himself it wasn’t his business. Abby could marry whomever she liked. It wasn’t his place to interfere. And yet, he felt responsible for her now, especially since she had come here with plans to wed him and was now living in his household. And for the first time since she’d arrived, he actually felt bad that he couldn’t give her what she desired.

* * *

Abby was just preparing to go upstairs when Jakob brought the children inside for bed. They kissed their grandmother, then trolleyed off to brush their teeth with their father’s supervision. Hiding a yawn, Abby soon followed. Standing on the landing, she peered into the room the children shared. Two twin beds sat apart from each other, budged up against opposite walls. Curious about the kids’ relationship with their father, Abby listened for a moment.

“Will you read us a story, Daed?” Reuben asked, holding up a children’s book.

“Of course.” Jakob took the book and sprawled across the boy’s bed, his long legs hanging over the edge.

He plumped the pillows as Ruby joined them, wearing a simple flannel nightgown. She cuddled against her father and laid her head back. Abby plastered herself against the outside wall so they wouldn’t see her, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave. Not once in her life could she remember her father reading her a bedtime story, and she was captivated by the event.

Jakob read a tale about an Amish girl named Lily and her adventures around the farm. He brought the story to life, using a different voice for each character. When his tone lowered to a deep bass as he read the grandfather’s lines, Abby had to stifle a laugh. Soon, the story ended and Jakob urged the kids to sleep.

Abby peeked around the corner. With the children lying in their separate beds, Jakob snuggled the blankets around each of their chins, then kissed them both on the forehead. She had no doubt he loved his children with all his might. In fact, his show of affection told her that he hadn’t spanked Reuben earlier. If he had, the boy would still be angry and pull away. Wouldn’t he?

“I miss Mammi,” Reuben said.

“Me, too,” Ruby responded.

“I know. But she’s with Gott now. She’s also still here with us, in our hearts. She’ll never leave us,” Jakob said.

“How can she be with Gott and be in our hearts, too?” Ruby asked, her forehead furrowing.

“Because we remember her. If we think of her often and know what she would want us to say and do, she can be with us always. By that way, she lives in our hearts,” Jakob said.

“Truly?” Ruby whispered.

“Truly,” Jakob returned. “But you must be kind to Abby. It’s not her fault that Mamm died. And Abby has her own sadness to deal with, too.”

“Like what?” Reuben asked in a challenging voice.

“Both of her parents are gone and she’s all alone in the world. Life has not been easy for her.”

“Really? She doesn’t even have a familye?” Ruby’s voice sounded so sad.

“Not anymore,” Jakob said. “Just a bruder who never treated her well. She came here looking for a familye of her own.”

“Ach, she can’t have mine. She should go back to Ohio.” Reuben’s tone was heavy with resentment.

“She’s not trying to take any of us away from you, Reuben. She just needs a place to stay. We talked about this, and you will treat Abby with respect. You will treat your schweschder better, too. Understood?”

Abby was glad that Jakob told the boy to treat his sister well. But the boy made no verbal reply, and Abby wondered if he had nodded or merely refused to comply.

“Gutte’ nacht,” Jakob said.

“Ich liebe dich, Daedi,” Ruby called.

“I love you, too, boppli,” Jakob said.

He turned to leave and Abby darted into her room and carefully shut the door. She didn’t want to be caught eavesdropping, and yet she was fascinated by Jakob Fisher and his kinder.

I love you.

The simple words of an innocent child to her father. How Abby longed to hear those words directed at her, but she knew now that it would never be. Other than her mother, no one had ever loved her, except Gott. And as long as she had the Lord on her side, she had faith that all would be well for her. She couldn’t blame Reuben for feeling threatened and wanting to protect his mother’s memory. He was just a young child who missed his mom. And once again, she envied Jakob and his loving, wonderful familye.