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Leil Lowndes. Always in the Kitchen at Parties: Simple Tools for Instant Confidence
copyright
contents
preface
don’t be an avoidance junkie. Hooked on ‘Hide and Seek’
Getting ‘High’ on Avoidance
don’t expect a miracle (today at least!) TV Show: ‘Fearful People Are Freaks’
Phobia Coach Cures Acrophobia to Zoophobia. Success Guaranteed. Walk-ins Welcome
welcome. Right Idea, Wrong Timing
Easy Does It
The Magic Combo to Kill Shyness
the confidence warm-up. The Energy Crisis
First, Become Unglued
Naked Dancing
take the ‘cot test’ to see if you were born shy. When the Doctor Spanked You Did You Take It Personally?
Four Years Later
Does Being an Introvert Mean Being Shy?
Wanted: Thinker, Artist, Philosopher – Must Be Shy
did I ‘catch’ a dose of shyness? Shake Your Family Tree for Signs of Shyness
Is Shyness a Communicable Disease?
was it bullies in bygone days? Those Nasty Kids in the Neighbourhood
A Raspberry to Remember
it was all mum and dad’s fault. Dahling, My Shrink Said …
Where’s Lenny Now?
Tell Your Kids to Go Play in Traffic
Mums, Don’t Kiss It Better
so who ya gonna blame?
should I tell people I’m shy? Using the ‘S’ Word
The ‘Big Confession’
labels are lethal
When a Label Stopped the Music for Me
tell the truth, the half-truth, and nothing but the half-truth. How to Get Out of a Situation You’re Not Ready for – Yet!
Some Savvy Shys Prefer to Laugh and ‘Warn’ People
Is Shyness ‘Charming’?
can people tell I’m shy? Everybody’s Laughing at Me
The Great Pretenders
People Are Way Off Base
take off your mud-coloured spectacles. Don’t Nitpick for Negatives
I Just Know They Hate Me
He Said, She Said
Life Is the Pits
Life Is Beautiful
don’t be a sucker for rejection. If You Accept Me, I Don’t Accept You
come back down off the ceiling. Shoot the ‘My Life’ Movie
Your Out-of-Body Experience
think of your shyness from their perspective. Shys Don’t Play Stupid Games
Can’t Take It, Can Ya Buddy?
slay the monster memories. It Wasn’t as Bad as You Think It Was
It Starts Early
Clean Your Binoculars
Don’t Watch the Re-runs
Log It as a Cold Case
Get Real
I think I’m beginning to love you, self. Getting to Know and Love Yourself
Invest Just Five Minutes a Day for a Priceless Gift
a shy’s most important 10 seconds. No Need to Stay Zapped All Day
Come On Big
who’s the boss? your mind or body? If It Looks Like a Shy, Sounds Like a Shy, and Walks Like a Shy, It Must Be a Shy
Your Mind-Body Battle for Togetherness
The Goodbye-to-Shy Theme Song: Simple to Scary
What Super-Sure Looks Like
how to make eye-contact easy. Get Comfortable Looking at Two Eyeballs per Person
Baby, What Beautiful Eyes You Have
Raise the Bar
Longer Eye-contact Made Simple
The Unspoken ‘I Like You’
a quick smile and a slow jet get you nowhere fast. Whoops, I Missed Your Smile Because I Blinked
Is the Smile You Give the Smile They Get?
Smile at Your Goldfish
for the want of a smile
snobs don’t smile either
A Case of Mistaken Identity
Who, Me? A Snob?
Good Looks Can Count Against a Shy
if at first you don’t succeed, swear! Three Strikes and You’re Not Out
battling blushing, sweating and clammy hands. What If You Know You Can’t Hide It?
Hit It on the Head with Humour
Here Comes Bernie the Blusher
the power and pleasure of anonymity. Not So ‘Merry Christmas’ for a Shy
The Masked Shy
My Costumed Caper
the out-of-town caper. Excuse Me, I’m a Stranger in Town
dress as your fantasy person. You Feel Like What You Wear
Wear ‘Look at Me’ Clothes
fries with that? How Can I Help You?
something to consider. Revelation on the Potty
the shy’s sneaky way to get a super job. The Professional World Cheats Shys
‘No Job’ Stress
Get a Great Job by Cheating
Money Slips Through Shy Fingers
building up to bashes. The Party-a-Thon
Party Like a Pigeon
going to a party is not ‘going to a party’ Don’t Growl at the Guests
preparing for a party. My ‘D’uh’ Moment
Go Ahead. Be Biased. (In a Politically Correct Way, Of Course)
getting legless is not the answer. Shys and Booze
how to get off the hook (half the time) Stay Home, Guilt Free
Camouflaged Avoiding
the danger of being a ‘denying shy’ Confucius Said: ‘A Shy Smile Is Better Than Egg on Your Face’
terrified of being trite? Be a ‘You Firstie’
‘I’m Fine’ Isn’t Enough
Using Their Name Says Something about You
what do I say next? Better Than Their Humanoid Sounds
the proven eye-contact cure. Dr Daffy Did It
Eye-contact Is Smart and Sexy, Too
chameleons should choose their colours carefully. Personality Is ‘Catching’
become an expert – on anything! ‘How Can You Tell a Poisonous One from a Good One?’
Excuse Me for Taking Up Space on Your Planet
Even a Mushroom Can Sprout Love
how to answer the inevitable question. Your Enthralling Answer to a Cliché Query
nobody expects you to perform. Some of the Best Conversationalists Never Open Their Mouths
Greek to Me
Nobody Expects You to Talk
passion slays shyness. Passion Makes You Forget Being Shy
Turn Off the ‘ME’ Show
The Incredible Power of Passion
a dare a day drives shyness away. It’s Better to Be Me
You’ve Got to Be Kidding! Are You Nuts?
make shopping a valuable part of SOS
a little help from man’s best friend. A New Twist on Trite Advice
Get a Look-alike Dog
social blooper remedy. The Chicken Little Syndrome
Great News
Write Your Own Horror Story
What If I Don’t Know What to Do?
take a bite out of shyness for lunch. A Very Healthy Diet
download confidence into your eardrums. Turn Off the Music, Turn On the Confidence
Audio Track to Confidence
there are no love ‘guarantees’
a dangerous dating game for shys. Opportunity or Trap?
oversexed or underconfident? Shy Baby Sister or Class Slut?
Intimacy Is Not the Problem
It’s Not That Easy for a Shy Guy
being shy and gay is lonely
relationship rehearsals. A Mind-Boggling Question
Do Some Practice Dates
A Caution and a Gift
the lovin’ is easy. it’s getting there that’s hard. Now For Some Good News About Love (About Time!)
shall I put on a big act? Voice Quality Counts, Too
Confirmation That I Was ‘Cured’
It Takes One to Spot One
graduation day. From Frightened Rabbit to Bold Bunny
If you enjoyed Always in the Kitchen at Parties: Simple Tools for Instant Confidence, check out these other great Leil Lowndes titles
notes. Cheryl’s Full Letter
more self-knowledge questions
references
acknowledgements
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