Читать книгу Ben's Bundle of Joy - Lenora Worth, Rachel Hauck - Страница 10

“We really don’t have much choice.”

Betty Anderson looked at the crowd of people gathered in her office at The Old First Church Day-care Center, her reading glasses tipped precariously on the end of her pert nose. “I think Ben will make a fine temporary guardian for Tyler.”

“I agree.” The chief of police, Samuel Riley, a short, round man with white hair and a beard that always got him the part of Santa in the church Christmas functions, nodded his head so vigorously that his ruddy double chin rolled up against his chest. “Ben, with all this red tape we have to wade through with social services and child welfare, and given the fact that we’ve never had anything like this occur in Fairweather, I think you’re the best candidate for taking care of the baby at this point—just until we can weigh all the facts and find out exactly what the proper procedure is around here.”

“It would only be for a few days, a week at most,” Betty pointed out. “And, Ben, you know we’ll all pitch in. You can bring Tyler here every day during the week. Sara has already agreed to watch him for you—whenever you need her to.” Her smile indicated she was immensely pleased with Sara’s offer.

“I’ll even go over the basics with you, step by step,” Sara told him, that glint of a challenge in her green eyes.

“I appreciate that,” Ben replied, his eyes touching on Sara Conroy’s face as he sat back in his chair. It was late in the day and Tyler was safe in the infant room with all the other children. But it had been a long and trying day for Ben. Not only had he had to go round and round with the police, but the child welfare office in Minneapolis hadn’t offered up much help, either. The closest available foster family they could come up with was in St. Paul. And everyone agreed that the baby shouldn’t be carted off to the big city—not when he had a loving, supportive community of people right here, willing to help take care of him. The authorities had pulled what strings they could, to keep the child here.

But, ultimately, the responsibility rested with Ben. He didn’t want to send the baby away any more than the rest of them. And he was fast losing the battle against his own insecurities and doubts. “I’ll need lots of help,” he said at last. “I don’t know a whole lot about babies.”

“You can hold your own,” Betty told him as she took off her glasses and came around the desk. “I’ve seen you with the children right here. They love you.” At his doubtful look, she added, “You’ll be just fine, Ben.”

“Okay.” Ben scissored his fingers through his hair, then let out a long sigh. “Guess I’m a temporary father.”

Betty patted him on the arm. “I’ll have Warren load a bassinet and all the other equipment to take to the parsonage. And I’ve already been to the grocery store—got you plenty of formula and diapers. And I even bought two of the cutest little outfits—nice and warm, with teddy bears and baseballs.”

“Thanks, Betty.” Ben got up, then looked over at Sara. She sure seemed amused with all of this. “Well, time to pay up, Miss Conroy. Want to come to my house and show me how to mix up formula?”

“Does this count as our first date?” she teased, in a voice meant for Ben’s ears only.

“I didn’t think you’d be interested in me, except in a strictly temporary guardian capacity,” he shot back. “Since you seemed so determined for me to take this foundling.”

Lifting her brows in surprise, she retorted, “Maybe I just wanted an excuse to come and visit you, Reverend.”

She was rewarded with another blush. Not used to flirting, or being flirted with, Ben did manage a glib reply. “All you had to do was ask.”

Sara laughed, then moved past him. “I’ll follow you in my car.”

“Do you know the way?”

“Julianne pointed your house out to me when we took a walk at lunch,” she told him.

“And just so you’ll know,” Betty interjected, “Emma has already told Sara that you are single and in need of female companionship.”

Ben groaned while Sara nodded, that amused look coloring her face. “And she grilled me, so I’ll just go ahead and get the awkward questions out of the way. Yes, I’m single, but no, I’m not interested in any type of long-term commitments, and yes, I just want a little peace and quiet, but yes, I’m more than willing to help you with Tyler.”

“So much for our first date,” Ben said, an uncomfortable grin pinching his face. Somehow though, he felt disappointed that she’d answered all his questions before he’d even had a chance to ask them. Oh, well, that was probably for the best. He had a full plate—no time for starting a heavy personal relationship, and Sara Conroy struck him as a no-nonsense, tough-minded woman. It would be hard to win her over.

“You don’t have to look so relieved,” Sara said as they made their way up the hall to the nursery.

Ben felt sheepish and knew he was a coward. “I’m sorry. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“And becoming a temporary father hasn’t helped?”

He stopped as they reached the room where the babies up to one year old spent most of their days while their mothers worked. It was a colorful, playful room with a painted mural of Noah’s ark centered on one wall, and various other bright Biblical figures painted on every available surface.

The room was quiet now; most of the parents had already come to claim their little ones and the aides were busy cleaning up for the day. Outside, the burnished sunset that proclaimed Minnesota in the fall shined golden and promising.

“I’ll take care of Tyler,” he said, more to himself than to Sara. “I just wish I could help the person who left him here. Whoever did it, must have been so desperate, so alone. His mother is probably out there somewhere right now, wondering if she did the right thing.”

Sara watched the man standing beside her, and felt a tug at her heartstrings that almost took her breath away.

Almost. Hadn’t she just five minutes earlier told Ben in no uncertain terms that she wasn’t interested in any kind of romantic relationship? Hadn’t she pledged to avoid opening up her heart to that kind of pain ever again?

Remember, Sara, she reminded herself, time and circumstance can ruin any relationship.

That’s exactly what had happened with Steven. She’d never had the time to give to him, to nurture what they had together, and because of the circumstances—her mother, his work—he’d taken a job in Atlanta, Georgia, far away from the cold winters of Minnesota and far away from what he’d termed her cold heart.

But this man, this man would understand why she’d had to sacrifice so much for her own work and her mother’s illness. This man, this gentle, kind man, would do the same thing. He was doing the same thing by taking in Tyler.

Somehow, knowing that warmed her, melting away the layers of hardness she’d wrapped around her heart. But with that warmth came a warning—to take care, to be cautious.

Time and circumstance could once again bring her pain. She only had a little time here before she’d have to make a decision regarding her job back in St. Paul, and she wouldn’t let the circumstance of an abandoned baby trick her into thinking she, too, could find a good life with someone like Ben Hunter.

Besides, the man was a minister, a preacher, a man of God. And she was definitely not preacher’s wife material.

As she watched Ben lift baby Tyler out of his crib and bundle him in a thick cotton blanket, she regretted that. Ben would make the right woman a fine husband. Except her. Except Sara Conroy. No, she was too cynical, too burned-out and disillusioned for someone like Ben Hunter. She wasn’t the right woman, and she had to remember that.

“I think I can remember all of this,” Ben said hours later as he tucked the baby in, hopefully for a few hours of sleep at least. “Sterilize the bottles every night, mix the formula, put it in the refrigerator, heat it till it feels warm on my skin.” He shook an empty bottle toward his wrist to demonstrate. “Feed him every three or four hours, regardless of what time it is, until he gets on a schedule. Change diapers as needed—what?”

Sara couldn’t help the laughter bubbling over in her throat. But she couldn’t possibly tell Ben that he looked so incredibly adorable, standing there in his flannel shirt and old jeans with a burp cloth slung over his shoulder and his dark curls all mushed up against his forehead, while one of the three cats he owned meowed at his feet. “It’s nothing,” she said. “You just look so helpless.”

“I am not helpless,” Ben retorted in mock defiance. “Well, not as long as you’re here, at least.”

She took another sip of her coffee, ignoring the little tremors of delight his innocent statement brought to her stomach. “Oh, I think you’ll be just fine. From all the phone calls you’ve received, I’d say you’ve got more than enough help.”

“You’re right there. My congregation has really surprised me with all their support. I was afraid some of them would frown on this—a single man taking in an infant. I’m pleasantly surprised, and very grateful.”

“Maybe you don’t give yourself enough credit,” she said as he refilled her coffee. “Of course, I’ve heard a lot about Reverend Olsen—hard shoes to fill.”

“He was the best. I still visit him in the nursing home and sometimes I bring him here, just to spend an afternoon with me. He is the wisest man I know and I respect his suggestions, even if I don’t always follow them.”

“I see,” she said, smiling back at him. “You want to do things your way.”

“Sometimes, but I find that I mostly have to do things His way.” He pointed heavenward.

“An awesome task,” Sara retorted, meaning it. She had long ago stopped trying to figure out God’s plan for her life. Now she was taking things one day at a time.

“Do you plan to come to church, hear one of my sermons?”

The question, so direct, so sincere, threw her. “I … I probably will.” Lowering her head, she added, “I haven’t been very regular in my faith lately. In fact, I think I kind of gave up on it.”

“Losing a loved one can do that to you,” Ben said, his head down, his whole stance seeming to go weary.

His tone was so quiet, so introspective, that Sara wondered if he’d suffered such a loss himself. Not wanting to pry, she stayed silent, helping him put away the many supplies required to feed and care for a baby. “I’m better now. I was bitter for a while—about my mother’s illness, about life in general. And I hope coming here will help me to…to find some sense of peace.”

He turned to her then, his gentle smile reminding her that although this man was different, a man of strong faith no doubt, maybe he was still just as vulnerable to pain and frustration as the rest of humankind.

Leaning close, he said, “I hope you find your peace here, Sara. This is certainly a good place to start.”

Is that why he’d come here? she wondered. Before she could ask him to tell her, he lifted off the counter and turned away. “Let’s sit down and catch our breaths.”

Then he dropped the diaper and grabbed his own coffee cup, motioning for Sara to follow him into the tiny sitting room of the cottage he called home. The room, like many of the rooms she’d noticed in the charming, old house, was in a state of repair.

“Sorry about the boards and nails,” he told her as he offered her the comfortable old leather armchair near the fireplace. “I fully intend to finish that wall of bookcases, and all the other work around here—someday. But I’m not the handyman type. I’ll have to get Warren Sinclair to repair my repairs, I’m afraid.”

The small kitten that had been meowing at Ben’s feet, aptly named Rat because he was a deep gray and tended to skitter like a mouse, hurriedly followed them into the room, then jumped up on her lap the minute she sat down.

Sara nodded as she glanced around the cozy room. Books everywhere—that didn’t surprise her—and a few unpacked boxes coupled with very few personal touches. In spite of the volumes of philosophy and poetry and religious tomes, in spite of the clutter and typical male chaos, it looked as if Ben was just a visitor here—not really settled in yet. Maybe that was why he was afraid of taking on little Tyler. He wasn’t ready for any permanent commitments, either.

Since she knew that feeling, she shrugged. “I like it. It has potential.”

“Somewhere underneath all the old paint and leaking roof, and all my many messes, yes, there is a lot of potential for this to once again become a showcase.”

Sara thought the current occupant had a lot of potential, too, but she didn’t voice that opinion. “I’d better get out to the lake,” she said instead. “It’s getting late and we both have an early day tomorrow.”

Ben held up a hand in protest. “I could warm up some of that stew Emma sent over. Or we could just go for the oatmeal cookies.”

“Reverend, are you stalling the inevitable?”

Ben lowered his head. “Yeah, I admit it. I’m terrified about being alone with that baby. What if I don’t know how to handle his cries?”

“Your cats seem to be thriving—even if they are fur balls instead of humans. You must know something about nurturing babies.”

He grinned, then rolled his eyes. “Emma thinks I’m the humane society. But taking care of little Rat and his fuzzy companions is a tad different from providing for a baby.”

“Just hold him,” she said on a soft voice, her eyes meeting his in the muted lamplight. “That’s what most babies want and need the most.”

“Most humans,” he echoed, his voice warm and soothing, his eyes big and blue and vastly deep.

“Yes, I suppose so.”

Because the conversation had taken an intimate twist, and because for some strange reason she herself felt an overwhelming need to be held, Sara placed the still-whining Rat on the braided rug at her feet and got up to leave. “You can call me, day or night.”

“Even at 3:00 a.m.?”

Imagining his sleep-filled voice at three o’clock in the morning didn’t help the erratic charges of awareness coursing through her body. “Anytime,” she managed to say. Why did his eyes have to look so very blue?

“I’ll hold you to that,” he told her as he escorted her to the front door. “Drive carefully.”

“I will. It’s only a few miles.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“Tomorrow.” She hurried out to her car, not daring to take a breath until she was sure he couldn’t see her. What on earth had come over her, anyway? Her first day in a new town, her first day on the job, and the first eligible man to walk through the door already had her nerves in a shamble and her heart doing strange pitter-pattering things that it shouldn’t be doing at all.

It’s just the stress, she decided. She’d been through so much—first Steven’s decision to transfer to Atlanta—with or without her, then her mother’s inevitable death, then the hospital telling her she might want to consider an extended leave of absence because she was exhausted and not too swift on her feet. It had all been just too much for one person.

Maggie’s call had come at exactly the right time, but now Sara had to wonder if she’d made the right decision, coming here. She only wanted to concentrate on the children in her care, enjoy the less stressful, much slower way of life here, go home each night to her quiet cottage, and stare out at the endless blue waters of Baylor Lake.

That’s all she needed right now—time to decide where she wanted to go in her life, time to heal from the grief of watching her mother deteriorate right before her eyes, time to accept that Steven wasn’t coming back for her and that she wouldn’t get that family she’d always dreamed about.

If she let herself get involved with the town preacher, she wouldn’t know any peace, none at all. But she could be a friend to Ben Hunter, and she could help him with little Tyler. That at least would ease some of her loneliness.

And his, too, maybe.

Ben’s kindness, his gentle sense of nobility, had touched on all her keyed-up, long-denied emotions. That was why she felt this way—all shook up and disoriented. Throw in an adorable, abandoned baby, and well, any woman would start getting strange yearnings for home and hearth, strange maternal longings that would probably never be fulfilled. Any woman would feel completely and utterly lonely, sitting in her car in the cold.

“I’ll be all right,” she told herself as she drove toward the charming cottage she’d rented at Baylor Lake. “I’ll be all right. I came here to find some time, to heal, to rethink my life. Not to get attached to a poetic preacher and a sweet lost little baby.”

But somehow she knew in her heart that she had already formed a close bond with those two, a bond that would be hard to forget, even given time and circumstance.