Читать книгу The Doctor, His Daughter And Me - Leonie Knight - Страница 8

DR TARA DENNISON closed her eyes, took several deep breaths and tried to relax as the physio’s thumbs dug deep into both sides of her neck. She was close to tears but it had nothing to do with the massage. She’d decided she couldn’t put it off any longer. She would tell Ryan tonight. And then they would both be free … free of the guilt, anguish and pain that held them together in a fragile relationship that had mercilessly sapped the strength from both of them over the past three months.

‘Ouch,’ she said as the pressure on her spine amplified and teetered on the edge of pain.

‘You’re tenser today than you usually are. Is there anything wrong? Soreness anywhere?’

Tara opened her eyes. She definitely wasn’t about to reveal that everything was wrong. That she loved her husband so much there was no way she could deny him the future he deserved—the loving perfect wife, sexual fulfilment, the children he’d always wanted …

‘No, I’m fine. I think I may have overdone it in the gym yesterday. Perhaps we could call it quits now?’

‘Good idea. I’ll catch up with you in the pool tomorrow afternoon.’

‘Yes, the pool …’

But before she had time to finish her sentence the physio had left, and a few minutes later she heard familiar footsteps heading towards her room. Her heart did a somersault and landed squarely in the pit of her stomach.

Now.

She’d made up her mind. She would definitely tell him now.

Ryan felt good. The time was right. He clutched an enormous bouquet of delicately scented yellow roses in one hand and the list he’d laboured over for the past week in the other. With the information he had, and Tara’s all-time favourite flowers, how could she possibly refuse?

But when he reached her room, drew back the curtain and saw the expression on her face, he began to have doubts.

‘Hi, beautiful.’ He placed the flowers on the bedside table, leaned forward and kissed his wife on the mouth, holding the simple but intimate connection for as long as he could. Her mouth was immobile, her lips cool, and when he finally drew away her sombre expression flattened his mood like a burst balloon.

‘What’s the matter?’

She was looking at the roses as if he’d given her a bunch of stinging nettles.

‘I have something I want to tell you.’

‘That’s great.’ His gentle smile did nothing to thaw the icy expression on Tara’s face. ‘I have something to tell you too.’

Some of his previous joy at finally tying up all the loose ends of his plan that would give them the chance of a rosy future returned. His love for Tara had never waned. They had survived a horrific accident and were both miraculously alive; he’d been there every step of the way through the lengthy and arduous rehabilitation programme; he’d supported her through bouts of debilitating depression and he’d found a way for them to live out the happily-ever-after of their dreams. If she’d just let him explain …

‘I’ll go first.’ The list he had made seemed redundant now, but he knew once she’d realised they weren’t stuck in an inescapable rut …

‘No, Ryan. Let me.’

Her eyes, which were usually wide open windows to her feelings, were shuttered.

‘Okay,’ he said slowly as he reached for her hand, but she snatched it away.

‘I want a divorce.’

Ryan shook his head in disbelief. Just when there was a possibility they could get their lives back on track? Had he heard wrong?

‘No!’ The word came out more forcefully than he’d planned. ‘Sorry,’ he added, and this time Tara let him hold her hand. She was shaking.

‘Why?’

She took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye.

‘Because I’m disabled, Ryan. I’m a different person to the perfect woman you married. I think and feel differently and I could never be a mother to your children—’

‘But …’ He squeezed Tara’s hand tight. ‘But none of that matters … if we love each other.’

Tara looked away and shifted restlessly in her hospital bed.

‘Tara? Love … it’s what has sustained us through the bad times as well as the good.’

Tara’s gaze swung back to Ryan. She sighed.

‘That’s the problem, Ryan. I don’t love you any more. And I can’t live in a loveless marriage.’ She cleared her throat. ‘I want a divorce and I’m not going to change my mind.’