Читать книгу Lewis Hamilton: My Story - Lewis Hamilton - Страница 6

‘Dad is my biggest supporter, and a fantastic father, without whom I may not have even discovered I had any talent for racing.’

TO BE A FORMULA ONE RACING DRIVER you need to be extremely fit and prepared – both physically and mentally for the whole challenge. It is far more exhausting than you can ever imagine if you have never raced in a car. And it is not easy. Sometimes, if you are not feeling right, if you do not have the right energy levels, it can be impossible. It is important to find your own way, then keep your mind clear and maintain the right level of motivation.

Just the ordinary things – like travelling all the time; packing bags, grabbing them and taking them with you; going to functions, meeting people; the crowds, the heavy schedule – all take their toll on your energy and strength after a while. So it is important to stay calm when you can and not to waste energy.

I have a special source of extra motivation. For me, even when I am feeling pretty stretched, rushing around in the middle of a Formula One weekend and surrounded by people who want a bit of my time – and with what feels like a thousand things to do – I only have to think of one person to keep me feeling motivated and to put a smile on my face: my brother Nicolas. I remember Linda, my step-mum, being pregnant with Nic. I remember him being born and that I would just go and sit next to him and watch him. I had prayed to have a brother and was so happy when he came into the world. It really meant a lot to me, in my childhood, to have a brother. And it still does.

Nic was born two months early and it was a long time after his birth – I think nearly eighteen months – before he was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. He was still the same Nic to us and we loved him whatever. Nic has trouble walking, and this affects his whole body to a point, but he never complains. He always has a smile on his face whatever the situation.

I remember when Nic was four he had to have an operation on his legs to extend the tendons so as to increase his mobility. The operation was a major one and very distressing. Nic had to have cuts in his groin, behind his knees, and in his ankles. He was in plaster for about eight weeks. I was only eleven and heavily into my karting by then, going to race tracks at weekends and having a great time. We always went to every race as a family – Linda, Nic, my dad and me. Nic was let out of hospital after about a week and they gave him this little wheelchair. As soon as he was released, Nic was back on the racing circuit with us, his legs stretched out straight in front of him and plastered up to the groin. The whole operation period was a very traumatic time for us all, in particular Nic, who, when the time came to take off his plaster casts, thought the doctors were going to cut his legs off. I remember he cried his eyes out but it wasn’t long before that smile came back to his face. That smile – it is infectious and inspirational. It taught me a lot about life. Nic has always been my number one fan and I am his.

I just hope that by writing about him, he doesn’t get too big-headed because, if he does, I will have to make sure he soon forgets it! He is such a character, so grounded too, and he is always cheerful and happy. He has big respect from me and all who know him. Nic is seven years younger than me and because of that, I sometimes feel like I have to teach him things, like my dad did for me. But most of the time, I am learning stuff from him.

Nic is now fifteen and, if anything, we are even closer. I love spending time with him. We enjoy the same sort of things, the same sort of music. As he gets older, it’s good to be able to talk about girls with him! It won’t be long before we can go partying together – and I am dying for the time when he is old enough so we can go out to a club or just do our own thing. That is going to be so cool.

It is rare for me during the season to get a decent period of time at my parents’ home to spend with Nic but we did have a few this year. After the Turkish Grand Prix, for example, and before I had to travel to Italy, I went home to my parents’ house in Hertfordshire. The weather was great, Nic was there and we had fun doing all kinds of things together.

We played golf one day, for example. Nic finds it extremely difficult to stand still and balance in one place; add to that the fact that he is also left-handed, which does not help his swing. Even though he shouldn’t be able to, Nic still attempts to play football, basketball, almost everything. He just never gives up and always puts 100 per cent effort into trying something even if he knows it’s too much for him. Nic gets out of life what he puts into life and that must give him a huge amount of satisfaction. I know that he cannot do things as well as me but he has a real good go at it and makes me work even harder to make sure I beat him. ‘Never let him have it easy,’ is what my dad always said, just so that he would try harder. I am lucky in that I am good at most sports, but for Nic it must be really difficult. Either way, he always puts a smile on my face – although occasionally he can be quite argumentative. He reminds me of myself!

I often try to imagine myself in Nic’s position. I do not think I would be anywhere near as strong as him. There’s just so much to admire in him. So, whatever I am doing, I say to myself, ‘If you think it’s hard to do this, then think again.’ I think about Nic’s strength of character and that gives me added strength. So Nic is my inspiration – and that helps me a lot. But, in fact, my whole family are very close. We do everything we can together, and we always have done, but as I grow older and become more independent each year, I know that is probably going to change a bit – but not all that much. We have an intense bond and are a strong family. It helps us remain as normal as possible, to stay focused on the right things and not be distracted by all the stuff going on around us. We are a team, my family. We always have been. I like to think of my parents’ home as my power station, the place where I can go to seek support, rest and reassurance in the good things in life.

Thanks to my family, I know it is important not to lose perspective – though at times in the past year, that has not been easy. Formula One is such a demanding and fast-moving business that it is easy to lose your own sense of direction sometimes. It can be very, very tough so you have to concentrate fully on the job in hand, prepare well and stay as level-headed and consistent as you can. If you stick to your beliefs and your true values in life, I believe things work out right in the end.

My mum Carmen and dad Anthony divorced when I was about two and I lived with my mum until I was ten. After that I moved to live with my dad and step-mum Linda. My mum is a huge and important part of my life and has always been there in the background wishing me success from afar. My step-mum Linda has been amazing and I think she is the best step-mum in the world. I was very emotionally attached to my dad, and it was difficult only seeing him at the weekends. They were the greatest weekends – I would not have missed them for anything – but I remember when I was ten that I liked living with my mum because she was the ‘easier’ parent.

You know with parents when you have the easy one and the demanding one? Well, she was the easier one. I’ve been extremely lucky: both my mum and Linda are incredibly considerate, very caring and generous, and fun-loving.

A huge part of my personality – the emotional side, I would say – comes from both my mums. Even though my dad always told me, ‘You have to be polite,’ that was already in my nature. I would say my stronger, more competitive side comes from my dad. My selfishness, my focus, my determination, my ability to put things out of my mind, the way I say things and express myself, present myself well, and everything that gives people their perception of you – that all comes from, and has been driven by, my dad.

For example, my approach to things is: do not waver, do not give up. My dad reminds me of that nearly every single day and I am always aware of how much work we have put in to get where we are today – and how much more work he expects me to do in the future! He is as relentless in his own way as I am in mine and I am sure that is a part of our characters that has contributed to our achievements. We are both hard workers and we believe in the same things – honesty, loyalty and trust – and we both have a never-say-die attitude. Anyone who knows him will tell you that. He is my biggest supporter, and a fantastic father, without whom I may not have even discovered I had any talent for racing! And he is a big reason – really the absolute reason – that I have been able to develop myself as a racing driver, and, probably more importantly, as a human being.

I am very close to my roots – to my father’s family in Grenada, West Indies, where my real home is, and to the Grenadian people. My granddad lives in Grenada and drives a private minibus. His passengers are predominantly school children but my granddad will give just about anyone a lift. He is supposed to charge per ride but he just loves his job so much that sometimes he allows some passengers to ride for free. All the kids love him and out of respect they call him ‘Uncle Dave’, although his real name is Davidson. Nearly everyone in Grenada knows Uncle Dave. Wherever he goes people always acknowledge him and call out ‘Uncle Dave!’ He is everyone’s uncle! My dad bought my granddad a new 18-seater minibus about a year ago because the old one was over twenty-five years old and my dad feared for the safety of my granddad and the passengers. I think my granddad’s friends couldn’t believe it. Some people didn’t want to ride in Uncle Dave’s old minibus because it was too slow but now everyone wants to ride in his new one.

I feel close to all of that. I love Grenada; it is a beautiful country and a place where I have learned a lot. Living in multicultural Europe, it is easy to take things for granted, while in Grenada some people still live in buildings that resemble sheds. We visit Grenada every year, sometimes twice a year, and during our visits I get a real perspective on things, a better understanding of life altogether – and I realize how blessed I am. My family, my roots, and our values are primarily Grenadian although we are British, having been born in the UK. My granddad came to England in the 1950s and then returned to Grenada in the seventies following the death of my grandmother. My dad has always expressed a wish to return and I plan to do the same at some stage in my life but not now. To see the kids in Grenada with smiles on their faces – even if they’ve got very, very little in comparison with European kids – helps me to understand and manage my way in life. So my principles are always to listen to my dad, cherish my family, compete hard and never give up. Most of all, I try to keep a smile on my face.

Alongside the great experiences in my life I’ve also had some very bad, really challenging times – which you will read about later – but even those have made me stronger. And, with the help of my family, I’ve bounced back twice as strong as before. I think that is why I am probably such a strong character in racing. Every mistake and every good thing that has happened to me has counted. And there is not a day gone by that I wished I had done more of this or that. The way I see it, you have to rise above things and move on. You just cannot wait around. You have to do it yourself and just get on with it if you want things to happen.

That is why I feel like I have got such a responsibility to make people happy, make younger kids more determined or ambitious and all that sort of thing. For me that is a pleasure: it is not just about the racing; it is all those other things that come into it that I really, really enjoy. I do occasionally pray – my granddad is very religious, he goes to church every day and he is always on my case, asking, ‘Are you praying?’ or telling me, ‘Not to worry, Lewis, the Lord will provide, just ask for His help.’ Every now and then I will say a prayer and show my appreciation. I try to make sure it is not only when I am in trouble and I need help; even when I have had a great day, I try to thank God for it.

That is why religion is not an issue for me – any more than race is an issue. I am Roman Catholic; I was baptized when I was two and for a lot of my life I always thought there was something there. Sometimes, if I was in trouble I would pray, but I was never hardcore into it – but then neither was the family, although we all believe. I have always felt very much that I have been gifted and very much blessed – I have a great family, a talent which many people don’t either get to discover or experience, and I really do feel like there is a higher power and that He has given me something. Whether it is to send a message out, or to use, or just to have fun, I do not know. I think everyone has got talent and gifts, but not everyone discovers them, and people can occasionally be misled. I am fortunate that I have not been. I feel everyone is put here for a purpose and all the individuals that do discover things in their life are able to make a change and make a difference.

Some people think race, or skin colour, is an issue; some think religion is. Putting it simply, I do not like to see anyone treated badly. I do not like people who do not behave well, who are not polite or who do not show respect when they should. I guess it comes from my own younger days when I had to do things and I didn’t find it easy. I had a bad time at school because there were some bullies around who were probably jealous of me going karting at weekends; either that or they just didn’t like me. I tried to deal with that by defending myself, so I learned karate. That is my way of sorting out my problems. I try not to get entangled, I prefer to rise above them, but sometimes you need to be able to stand your ground, don’t you? I believe in doing things right and doing them properly.

I had a lot of other experiences when I was young, some good, some bad, but from each of them I learned something. In 1997, when I was thirteen, I went to my first Grand Prix at Spa-Francorchamps in Belgium. My dad and I were having a great day as guests of McLaren Mercedes. I remember walking around with my dad and we saw Eddie Irvine and decided to go and ask him for his autograph. I stood there in admiration of him, waiting for him to sign my book, but he looked at me and just walked on. It may well have been that Eddie was incredibly busy and did not have the time to be distracted or that he was just having a bad day. There are numerous reasons why this episode could have happened. At my age at that time, however, I didn’t think of any of that but know what it’s like now. I have never forgotten how that made me feel.

Someone else showed me how different it can be. That was David Coulthard. I also met him at Spa. I was standing at the front of the McLaren garage when David came in and walked straight past me and my dad. I called out, ‘Alright, David?’ and he turned round and, two seconds later, he said, ‘Alright, Lewis?’ He knew me…what a feeling that was! He had come to see me karting and he remembered me. I really appreciated it. So, always, I have huge respect for David. He is a real gent and he taught me something good – that it costs nothing to say ‘Hello’.

I can say now that these two experiences certainly made me determined that if, or when, I reached the top and anyone ever asked me for an autograph, or a piece of my time, I will try to give them my time with good grace and respect. That is why I work hard to look after my many fans. I appreciate that’s not always going to be easy or possible, but that’s what I aim to achieve.

Actually, it was not until Formula Three that I realized that I had fans, people that admired me for what I did. When they wanted to come over and talk to me, it was just a pleasure for me. All of them were polite to me, and I was no one as far as I was concerned, but they were always there supporting me. I was not used to that, but I learned from it. I have got some great fans all over the world, including those who come all the way from Japan, just for a weekend, to watch me race! I always try to make time for them because from past experiences I know how important it is to make time for others.

When I got to GP2, I noticed that my time was getting more precious – but I made sure I had enough of it to go around and say thank you to everyone. When I reached Formula One, it got more and more difficult, but I knew to expect this, so when I went to my first Grand Prix, in Australia, I said to myself that I must make time for the fans. I worked out that if I planned to get to the track at eight, and that I had a meeting starting at half past eight, then there was not enough time, in that half an hour, to start signing autographs. So I said to myself, ‘I’ll get there at 7.30 and use that extra time to sign autographs.’ What a great feeling it was to make others happy; that’s a bit more energy in my energy bank. But I remember one day at Albert Park when I was just trying to juggle all the different events that were going on – I had a tyres briefing, an engineering meeting, and several other meetings and then I had to rush back to the hotel to do a HUGO BOSS and a Mercedes-Benz event, or something – and I was panicking. It all got to me. I didn’t know how to judge it. I didn’t have time to do autographs at the exit gate, where everyone was waiting outside the paddock, and I just walked on, and I kept walking. It was not a good feeling ignoring the fans, doing the one thing I promised I would never do. That was one of the single most distressing experiences I have ever had and it played on my mind all night.

So, next day, I made sure that I got a load of photos and posters and I signed about a hundred posters or more. I put ‘Sorry’ or ‘Thank you’ or something like that on them, and then the following day I went in early and signed a load of autographs as well and gave each person a poster. It felt good – I got all my energy back. A lot of fans who get the opportunity to come up close are sometimes physically shaking with nerves and I remember feeling it was incredible that I could make anyone feel that way. I’m only human. I’m not this big superstar that you see on TV. I am nothing special. I might be a Formula One racing driver, but that does not make me any different. As far as I am concerned we are all on the same level. I want to take time out of my schedule to sign an autograph if it is going to make someone’s day. Making people happy is what makes me happy.

I do not believe in doing anything wrong to succeed. Never. In my family we are all competitive and nobody likes to lose. I would say my dad’s the worst. He taught me how to win and lose but even he would admit that losing is not a nice experience to deal with – it does make your desire to succeed even stronger, though I can see how difficult he finds it sometimes. It shows in his face, of course, even after a game of pool at home. And I can see it sometimes after races. We are alike, too, in that we stick to the same way of doing things. As I said earlier, we believe in the basics – honesty, loyalty and trust – and that is why we all found the politics in Formula One this year so hard to handle. As I said at the time, politics sucks. Everyone knows about the controversy with Ferrari and, well, the last thing any of us wanted was to be landed in something like that in the middle of my rookie season.

I suppose it is to do with honesty that I want to do things properly…in an open way. I compete to win, but I always do my best and try to do things the right way. Maybe I am sometimes very highly charged and very determined, but I would never ever cheat to win. Never at all. That is why we all felt so much emotion when there were so many allegations being made against the team, against Vodafone McLaren Mercedes, this year. It was wrong. I never once believed any of the rumours or stories and I had complete belief in Ron Dennis and the team and the values they stand by.

In my own way, the only thing to do was to rise above it all, concentrate on the racing, continue to do my best and, most important of all, keep a smile on my face which, with everything kicking off, had been difficult. All my lessons in life, my dad’s and my family’s advice and encouragement and examples of how to live and how to behave, have stood me in good stead. When you have been through some of the stuff I went through as a kid, and when you have seen life through a really normal pair of eyes in Stevenage, in London, in Grenada and other places – all of that on top of my racing career gave me the right kind of grounding to cope with it. So I just did my thing.

Being able to control yourself, redeem yourself, is important. When I play computer games with Nic I always try my best to beat him. I never let him win. I never let anyone win at anything, at home or anywhere. I am always the same. I am just that competitive. I have to win at everything, but I would never cheat. I just love knowing that I won fair and square or that I tried my best.

Mental strength is so important. On the surface, it may look like I am pretty cool most of the time, but underneath I am a very emotional person. That is why these things matter. I love being at home with my family and the equilibrium that gives me. We are all emotional people in my family – that is part of our nature – but in this business, in Formula One, you have to be a bit cold and a bit selfish. I suppose we are all a bit selfish in our own lives and that comes out sometimes in all of us. But I find I can balance it all if I am around my family.

Racing takes up most of my weekends, so any weekends I do have off are so important and valuable to me, and, going back to square one, returning to my own home and occasionally going to my parents’ house, the power station – that is important, too. It is where I do all my mental preparation and feel good. My strength is in the family, wherever we all are, as long as we are together.

There are loads of places where you can get mental strength and energy, but again there are loads of places you can lose energy! For me, the problems are energy-wasters. And it is my dad’s job to make sure that he helps me with that – he absorbs all of the negative energy when it happens. It is too easy to be sucked into things and just find you are drained by it all.

This whole thing about changing negative energy into positive energy is not rocket science. It is just about trying to look on the positive side and turn this or that mistake, or whatever, into something positive. I cannot do it with everything. Sometimes it is just too big to put through my small generator. So, that is when my dad absorbs it; or I put it onto someone else – I might call my mum, or a best friend, telling him about the problem – and then it’s their problem! As long as I keep the same set of principles, I will be fine.

I have been racing since I was eight years old and I have learned what works for me. I always try to remember to appreciate the opportunity I’ve been given and I always give 100 per cent. I always say, ‘Keep your family as close as possible.’ These are the things I believe in and they have done me well.

In my career, it is the same. McLaren and Mercedes-Benz have been incredibly loyal to us and, hopefully, we will be loyal to them and I’ll see out most of my career with them. For me, loyalty matters. In terms of friendship, it means being someone others can trust. And that works both ways. I am the sort of person who tells it all and can be quite blunt. Sometimes I do not realize that I may have affected someone, for worse or better, but it is just me being honest.

I know I am a lucky person. I have a good life, I have been given a talent and I have enjoyed myself very much, for most of the time, in my twenty-two years. It is never easy though. No way. Not for me, not for my dad and not for my family. We have had some extremely hard times and some extremely good times. But – and I think this is the most important thing – we have learned from them all.