Читать книгу Modern Anxiety, Modern Woman - Lida Prypchan - Страница 2

The absence of certain people dogs us throughout our lives. It becomes a cross for us to bear because it reappears day after day, like an imploring phantom. Places become meaningless and people, interesting as they may be, no longer measure up to our expectations. When a relationship has been cultivated, lives become interwoven in a way that is not easily forgotten, leaving a deep imprint that transforms our interior into a cavern where refuge is hard to find.

… it reappears day after day, like an imploring phantom …

Life is so strange and takes so many turns. Absence is so terrible that at times, just to keep it at bay, any type of relationship becomes acceptable.

This is what I call intelligence; knowing the depth of one’s personal weakness, the extent to which one is chained to someone and what these chains represent – mutual knowledge, love in any of its manifestations, lines of communication. I am a believer in destiny and know there is no such thing as coincidence. It is nothing but a rendezvous with destiny. You may travel to different cities, but mentally absence is impossible to escape because memories continue to haunt you. A person who does not feel the presence of another is to be pitied, because absence is unforgiving. There is a terrible struggle connected with everything that reminds one of the loved one – voices in the street, glances, words, sunrises, laughter…

In the words of Borges, “Evenings where I cherished your image, music reverberating with your presence, words from the past – would I could I smash it all to smithereens! In that ravine shall I hide my soul to flee from your absence, which shines perpetually and mercilessly like an intolerable sun, without setting? Your absence is as all-encompassing as any noose around my neck.”