Читать книгу The Buddha Book: Buddhas, blessings, prayers, and rituals to grant you love, wisdom, and healing - Lillian Too - Страница 9

For years I had known that in a past life I lived in a cave overlooking a valley cultivated with bright-green plants (which I later discovered were potato plants), while in the distance there were high, snow-capped mountains. I knew that my significant past lives had to have been lived somewhere amid such peaks, for I have always loved mountains. For a long time I assumed that the picture in my mind was somewhere in China. It was only after I went to Lawudo that I realized that it was a vision of somewhere high up in the Himalayas.

Meeting Rinpoche made everything I had ever been and done take on a new perspective. I had retired from corporate life in the early 1990s, after reaching some exalted heights. No one believed I could make myself get off the roller-coaster life I had carved out in the rich and glamorous world of business.

I told skeptical friends I had “other mountains to climb.” I had no idea what lay ahead, but had retired to become a full-time mother. It seemed absurd, after praying so hard and taking a decade to produce a child, to turn away from the joys of mothering Jennifer in favor of chasing the corporate dream. So I cashed in my investments, made myself redundant, packed my bags, said goodbye to Hong Kong, and went home to Malaysia. I devoted the next few years exclusively to Jennifer – it was a special time for us both and one we will never forget. In those few years Jennifer blossomed, and between us was born a mother-daughter love that today transcends our hearts and minds. But we are two individuals. And while my life is entering its waning phase, hers is just beginning. As Jennifer’s life takes on new colors and flavors, it makes me realize that I cannot live my life exclusively around hers. If I truly wish her to fly, I must let go.

I turned to writing, a first love that for twenty years I had put on hold. Feng shui seemed an obvious subject for me to make uniquely my own. Something must have impelled me to become an author of feng shui books, for my very first book on the subject – amateurish and self-published though it was – struck a chord with collective minds out there hungry for knowledge of the subject. Feng Shui became instantly successful. More importantly, it came to the attention of Lama Kyabje Zopa Rinpoche.

Like a single drop of water falling into a big pond, the ripples created by my first book had many repercussions – new-found fame and fortune, a new career, and a new way of life. Most importantly, the book became the instrument that led to a spiritual awakening that would leave me breathless, amazed, and hungry for more.

Through Feng Shui Rinpoche found me, and through Rinpoche I met the Buddhas. Through Rinpoche, I learned about past lives and reincarnations; about karma and the seeds of enlightenment; about the nature of the samsaric world and the ability to become liberated; about compassion, and the ultimate realization of wisdom that comes from understanding emptiness. Success, wealth, material gain – all the things that had meant so much to me beforehand now took on a new perspective. I saw them simply as part of this samsaric world, as temporary manifestations of past good karma, but I also knew that these material comforts and luxuries were impermanent. As with life itself, everything we have – our beautiful bodies, our wealth, and our health – is impermanent.

All of life is impermanent. All of life is in the nature of suffering. There is no permanent happiness. The only real and lasting happiness comes from the wisdom-mind that has realized compassion and emptiness – this is the true nature of reality.

This is the awakened mind, the enlightened mind, a state of mental consciousness that “neither exists nor does not exist.” If you do not understand this last phrase, that is fine, for neither do I really, and neither do the millions who have studied the sutras (sacred texts). If we did understand, we would all have become Buddhas. But this is what we strive to comprehend – this is the realization that is the state of enlightenment. It is the sorrowless state, a state of no more learning; it is the state of awakening that we constantly strive to reach.

So in meeting my highest high lama, Buddha’s teachings engaged my heart and my mind. I recall the scenery before me, and being seated behind the slightly bent back of my lama. I do not see his face. I only feel his presence and am overwhelmed with devotion. He is meditating and wears a light-colored robe. He bears no physical resemblance to my Rinpoche of this life. My conviction that they are one and the same comes from somewhere deep inside me. It is experiential, and I have no way of knowing if it is true. It is true for me only because I believe it. In this life, I know that my feeling for Rinpoche is something karmic, because I recognize him and I revere him. My devotion to Rinpoche as my guru from many past lives comes from somewhere within me. It requires no effort for me to revere him.