Читать книгу FreiWillig - Episode 5 - Lilly M. Beck - Страница 2

Intoxication

I'm so excited. Oh, man. We've barely spoken in over four weeks now. Generally, I don't have a problem with it, but the weeks before, it was so intense with us, I just missed you so much. It's crazy how much you get used to something and if something is especially cool, you want it again... Over and over again. In other words, I missed you. I've missed you a lot. But I knew that when we said goodbye. In fact, contrary to my nature, I told you that on our last date. I don't usually give out my innermost thoughts like that. You were perfectly prepared, and you gave me a gift that promised distraction... We'll see how you like my stories about my experiences. I'm a little scared...

The alarm in my cell phone rings and so brings me out of my thoughts into here and now. I had set a reminder for myself so that I would be down the driveway where we had agreed to meet, despite my nervousness. You hate unpunctuality and I don't want to give you a reason to punish me directly, although that always has its charms...

I'll grab my jacket and my backpack. You said I wouldn't need a purse for what we're doing today. I'm wearing dark jeans, a shirt, and light-colored sneakers. Casually chic. All I could think about all day long was us. What if something has changed in the meantime? We couldn't talk on the phone and also the date today, it was only possible via chat and you were rather short-circuited.

I'm a nervous wreck and I laugh at myself. How old am I again? It's crazy what you do with me and what you do to me. Every day I rediscover myself. Your influence on me is really scary. Even if you're not even in the same city. You've conditioned me to a lot of things. In situations like this, you come to mind immediately, and I think I want to do it right and good for you. My Lord.

On our very first date, I felt similar to how I feel today.

I was really sick with excitement back then. But I wouldn't have turned you down for anything in the world. Like I do now. I want to see you. As much as I respect it, I'm looking forward to it. Can't wait to see you anyway. Unlike the first time, now I know what's going to happen to us, what to expect. A handsome, charming man to pick me up. My heart is pounding out of my chest. My pulse races and my heart races. All I know is you've planned a trip on the motorcycle with me. My hair is still down, as you like it best, but I wear a hair tie around my wrist so I can tie it up right away for the helmet.

Before I can see you, I can already hear you driving down the street. You're really a bit late and stop in front of the house for me. You look so hot on the machine. Dangerous. The matt black paint, the wide tires, the shiny chrome and you look like one unit and my mouth is open. You seem so different from usual. But it makes a coherent picture. It suits you. Absolutely. Before you dismount, don't let them stop you from making them howl all over again. Great. My neighbors will be happy. In any case, inconspicuous is not the way to go. Still I have to laugh. There is the child in the man again and you just can't help it. Laughing you take off your helmet, come up to me and give me mine. You grab my hip and pull me toward you. "You look very hot, Hanna. Like a real biker babe. Wild and sexy. I'd like to take you right there, behind the bins." I get goose bumps right away. Your lips so close to my ear. Just below my ear is one of my most sensitive areas. Of course, you know that already. You've driven me crazy enough times in there. My body is sure. It wants you. I lean on you and you kiss my neck. "Gregor," I moan softly. "Mmmmmh, I've missed your smell. Your sexy curves, you." You run your fingers through my hair and look at my mouth. "I believe you're going to kiss me now and close my eyes in joyful anticipation.

But then your cheek rests against mine and I feel your smile. You whisper to me hoarsely, "We have to go right now, or I'll come down on you on the spot." Your hand slips from my hip to my ass and grabs it tight. "Hop on, babe." I open my eyes and shake my head, grinning. What was I worried about, anyway? It's like always. Or even better. Am I wrong, or are you more affectionate than usual? Anyway, I'm quite fond of it. I tie up my hair and put on the helmet. When I sit behind you, you lift up your jacket and grab my hands. You pass it along your trained sides and put it on your stomach. I slip a little further forward and lean against you more. I think I understand you telling me to hold on tight and knock if anything happens. I smile. Like it would really help me if I got a problem back here. But okay, it's sweet that you offered. You never said a word about where you were going, and I have no idea what you might be planning. I'm just gonna walk into your custody like I always do and just let it happen. So far, I have done very well and I have enough courage to just hold on to you now and live the moment.

As long as we are on the road in the city, I enjoy the feeling of driving so freely and looking at Berlin from a new perspective. It's really amazing how much there is always new to discover here. Even if I'm only here for a few days or weeks at a time, the city always seems different to me. That is totally fascinating. I'm not sure if I just discover something new all the time or if my view of things changes every time, my perspective. When I have gained some distance, after all the hustle and bustle, and then look at things differently with a calm gaze. Does that make sense? I think so. I feel the same way about you. On the one hand, everything is so familiar. On the other hand, every time I see you, I'm not sure if anything has changed between us. But you're my constant in that regard. You're 100% inscrutable. So it's never gonna be clear to me. So always uncertain. I don't know why I drive myself crazy. You're always so engaging. If I told you that, I'm sure you'd work it out with me. It's up to me. Clearly. It's not you. This fear that you might give up everything we have overnight...

And still you manage to make it clear in the meeting within seconds where we stand. What you expect from me, and that's very special. You always seem to know and feel what I need and then immediately offer me the protected space.