Читать книгу Confessions of a Naughty Night Nurse - Lily Harlem - Страница 5

The plastic surgery department was set slightly apart from the general wards. It had its own gardens, a small canteen and several overnight rooms for visitors as it was a regional centre.

I was always happy to be sent there. The staff were hugely committed and experts in their field. The atmosphere was one of nurturing and support, not just for the patients but also for their families.

‘Hey,’ I said, strolling into the cluttered office. It was my second night on duty out of seven so I was still feeling pretty energetic. Plus last night with Tom had meant I’d had a lovely, deep, satisfying sleep all day.

‘Oh, good, it’s you, Sharon,’ Felicity said. She was the department’s head night nurse and I knew her well. We’d both been around since scalpels had been made of flint and bandages of mammoth hide.

I grinned. It was nice to be wanted. ‘You busy?’ I asked, grabbing a report card from the desk.

‘More than usual. There’s been a clinical inspection today and it knocked the late shift back several hours with everything.’

‘Bummer. You want me to get on with anything straight away?’

She glanced down her chart. ‘Yes, could you bedbath Ted Graham in room three? I promised I would, but I have to do the drug round first so it will be ages before I get to him.’

‘No problem at all.’ I glanced at his details on my sheet. Thirty-four-year-old with third degree burns to both hands. Ten days post second skin graft and reconstruction.

‘Great,’ Felicity said. ‘But don’t rush him, will you, if he wants to chat, let him. He’s one of us after all.’

‘He is?’

‘Yep, a fireman, flames got his hands when he was rescuing a pregnant woman from a house fire.’

‘Oh, damn.’

‘Indeed.’

After slipping a plastic apron over my dress, I knocked quietly on the door of room three and stepped in. I shut it tight behind myself.

Ted lay on the bed, a sheet up to his waist and his head sunk into a stack of pillows. He looked big and tough with a wide chest and thick biceps, but his hands were wrapped tight in bulky white bandages, rendering him practically helpless and creating quite a contrast to the burly masculinity of his body.

He smiled when he saw me; his jawline was a wide angular shape, his teeth neat and white. Everything about him was big. He was on a whole different size scale to me.

‘Hi,’ I said and turned down the volume on some chat show he was watching. ‘You must be Ted?’

‘That’s me.’ His voice was deep and rasping, almost smoky. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he spoke.

‘I’m Sharon, would you like me to help you freshen up? Seems the day staff have been frantic.’

He rolled his eyes. ‘You can say that again, they’ve been buzzing around like a bunch of bees that’ve had their nest kicked.’ He laughed. ‘Quite funny to sit back and watch, and not have to do anything to help. I’m used to being in the middle of all the action.’

I liked Ted already. It was the twinkle in his eye, the buoyancy of his voice. He was having a rubbish time, but when people could still smile in that state I couldn’t help but admire them. I didn’t know if I would, given the same situation.

‘We’ll keep ourselves locked out of the way,’ I said, pulling a face. ‘Far from the madding crowd.’

‘Good plan.’ He tried to sit up but struggled when a pillow slipped and he couldn’t stop it falling to the floor.

I pulled his table away from the bed and adjusted his back support. Redoing his pillows.

‘Sorry,’ he said, ‘these damn hands are not up to much at the moment.’ He lifted his bandaged fists causing his pectoral muscles to flex and twitch.

I touched his warm, tendon-rich forearm and smiled gently. ‘That’s why I’m here, to help.’

‘I haven’t seen you before,’ he said. ‘Even though I’ve been laid in this room for three weeks now and going backward and forwards to theatre.’

‘No, I haven’t been here for about a month.’

‘Ah, have you been somewhere exotic on a long, luxury holiday with a handsome doctor?’

I laughed. ‘I wish.’ Mmm, four weeks on a deserted island with Javier would certainly give me a boost in all departments. ‘Nope, I’ve just been working on different wards. I’m a bit of a jack-of-all-trades, they send me wherever is low staffed at the beginning of each shift. Tonight I’m afraid you’ve drawn the short straw.’

‘Hardly the short straw,’ he said, tipping his head and studying me with a naughty glint in his eyes.

I laughed. ‘Nice of you to say so. Do you want a drink?’ I nodded at the empty glass on the table. It had a white straw sticking from it.

‘Please, there’s some Coke over there.’

I glanced at where he’d indicated. He had a small, bright red fridge humming in the corner.

‘I had it delivered here from Argos.’ Ted smiled. ‘I hate warm drinks, even in the winter. A habit from days in sunnier climates.’

‘Great idea.’ I opened the small glass door. ‘Hey, you’ve got some beer in here. Want one?’ I turned to him.

He looked at the closed door that led to the ward, as if seeing a frowning authority on the other side. ‘Well, I don’t know if I’m allowed.’

I laughed. ‘Yes, you’re allowed. It’s your beer, you’re a grown man. Have one if you want.’ I picked up an icy cold can and held it aloft.

‘Will you join me?’

I shook my head and widened my eyes. ‘I think that might just get me fired faster than a ball out of a cannon.’

He grinned and I sensed he was swaying.

‘What about the drugs I’m on?’ he asked.

‘No worries. It isn’t strong beer, so one will be perfectly fine and it will probably help you get a good night’s sleep.’

‘I could sleep for the Olympics these days. Not much else to do.’ He rolled his eyes and I thought his mood might switch, but then he grinned. ‘Go on then, if you’re sure it’ll be all right.’

‘I’m sure.’ I shut the fridge and picked up a tall glass from a shelf. ‘Have you had family in today?’

He shook his head. ‘No, not today, and not tomorrow either.’

That surprised me. I would have thought his people would be swarming around him. ‘Why not?’

‘Just how it is for me.’

‘No family?’

‘Nope.’ I held the glass as he took a sip of the beer through the straw. His lips were wide and plump, the bottom one held a small dink at the centre. I noticed there was a good couple of days’ worth of black stubble over his cheeks, jaw and down his neck.

‘Ahh, that’s so good,’ he said with a sigh. ‘Reminds me of being in Greece; with the sun on my back, a heart full of hope and a lust for adventure.’

I walked to the sink, set about filling up a bowl of water and collecting washing paraphernalia. ‘Greece. I’d love to go there.’

‘Beautiful place if you can cope with wasps and earthquakes.’

‘Can you tell me about it?’

‘You really want to hear?’

‘Yes, absolutely. I’ll give you a bit of a wash while you talk. It will make me feel like I’ve had that holiday. I could do with one.’ Plus I liked the lilt of his accent, I couldn’t place it but it was light and complemented the rich throatiness of his voice.

‘Couldn’t we all.’ He paused, then, ‘I grew up in Greece. My father had a job with the government and was posted in Athens. It meant we had a nice house with a pool and a maid. Me and my sister went to a private English school but also learnt to speak fluent Greek. It’s like that when you’re kids. You pick up languages without even having to think about it, don’t you?’

I nodded and wiped his face with the warm, soapy flannel. When I dried, the sound of stubble rasping on the towel was loud in the quiet room. ‘Would you like me to give you a shave?’

He opened his eyes and looked straight into mine. They were a stunning shade of dark blue, like the deepest part of the ocean. ‘Would you mind? Have you got time?’

‘No, not at all, and yes I have time. It won’t take long.’

‘That would be great then.’ He smiled again and then clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. ‘I hate being so dependent. It’s not me at all.’

‘Hopefully it will only be for a few more weeks, and that’s why we’re here, to help.’ I reached for a razor and a can of shaving foam. Flooding my hand with white froth and beginning to spread it around his jawline, the short tough hairs were sharp on my fingertips and the feeling briefly reminded me of my fun with Tom the night before.

‘Well, thanks, I appreciate it, everything you all do,’ he said, his mouth a dark slash in the frothy mess on his face.

‘No worries.’

Silence descended upon us as I began to carefully scrape the wet razor down his right cheek. I was aware that he was watching my face intently, almost like he could see the reflection of what I was doing in my eyes. I was leaning in close, I had to, breaching personal space was the only way to perform my task, but if he looked downwards there was no doubt he’d get a flash of cleavage.

But he didn’t look down, he carried on starting intently at my face and carefully twisting his mouth to stretch the skin on his cheek.

Little waves of prickles ran up my spine, nape and onto my scalp. I had a sudden sweep of self-consciousness. I was being scrutinised, closely, but I was also being trusted to wield a razor against a stranger’s face and throat. It was a great privilege to be so trusted. Who was I kidding? I was hot and tingly because Ted was an incredibly handsome fireman and I was performing an intimate task for him. Donning a nurse’s uniform didn’t quell my appreciation for a gorgeous bloke with a sexy smile, a roguish voice and a history of saving women from burning buildings.

I straightened and jiggled the razor in the water to rid it of the stubble and used foam. ‘Carry on telling me about Greece. I sense there’s an “until” coming up,’ I said with a smile then nibbled on my bottom lip.

He twitched his eyebrows. ‘You’d be right. I was seventeen when it all started to go wrong. I had dreams of going to university in the UK and studying marketing.’

‘Marketing, interesting.’ With my fingertip I gently smoothed the froth beneath his nose, trying my best not to get it in his nostrils. He kept very still while I shaved around his top lip, just pulling his mouth down a little to elongate the skin.

Top lip smooth, I carried on shaving, moving around to the opposite side of his face. Still he didn’t talk, he stayed silent, his breaths warm and tickly on my arm. My own breathing became slow and steady as I concentrated.

The stubble came away easily, leaving a perfect stretches of golden skin in its wake. I repeated the process over and over, sloshing the razor in the bowl of water after each downward track. Eventually I finished and dabbed his now silky jaw with the damp flannel and a warm towel. Admiring my work as opposed to the ruggedly handsome planes of his face – or so I told myself.

He touched his cheek to his hunched up shoulder, rubbed briefly, as if checking my work. ‘Thanks, that’s great. I can tell you’ve done that before.’

‘A few times.’ I smiled, tipped the water away and refilled the bowl. ‘So did you do your marketing course?’

‘Yep, I applied to several universities and was accepted into Manchester. I couldn’t wait to go and start my new student life. Though to be honest, thoughts of girls were considerably more prominent than my desire to learn. Well, unless you counted my interest in studying the female form, that is.’

He laughed as I wiped the warm flannel over his broad chest. His muscles were firm and solid, neatly squared pecs and small dark nipples. Just a hint of hair over his sternum. His flesh held an olive glow, like the Greek sunshine was still within him. It was impossible not to appreciate his sturdy, sculpted physique, though I was careful not to linger with the soapy flannel. That wouldn’t have been professional at all.

‘And I was right,’ he said as I dried with a long sweeping movements. ‘The girls at uni were hot. Hot with a capital H. And willing too. Not like where I’d grown up. Back in Athens, I’d been seeing this local girl, Phedra. She had long black hair; it felt like silk and never tangled in my fingers. I found it fascinating how I could stroke right through it and it flowed like water and tickled the back of my wrists. You know, this sensitive part?’ He lifted his hand, the underside of his wrist facing my way.

I nodded, gently raised his arm higher and soaped beneath it, swirling the flannel over curls of golden underarm hair. ‘Was she your first love?’

He allowed me to hold his arm up. ‘Phedra? Yes, I suppose she was. Hormones go a bit nuts when you’re that age, don’t they? I wasn’t sure if I was in love with her, like as a person, or her body. She had great tits … shit, I’m sorry, Sharon.’ He frowned. ‘You don’t want to hear this.’

‘Hey, don’t mind me, and of course I want to hear your story.’ I towelled where I’d washed, the underarm hair fluffing as it dried. ‘And believe me, there isn’t anything you can say that will shock me. I’ve been hanging around this place too long for that.’

‘I’ll try and shock you then, shall I? Just for the fun of it.’ He grinned.

‘Go on, tell me, just for the fun of it, and I promise not to faint.’ I smirked wickedly then pressed my lips together to ensure I didn’t appear flirty, because that wouldn’t be right at all. Not with a patient. Though I couldn’t help but think it was a damn shame Ted was going to be stuck in here, out of action for a few months. We could have swapped numbers and arranged a naked rendezvous.

He matched my smile and nodded at his beer again. I held it for him as he slurped, then set it back on the table.

‘Phedra, like I said, was a hottie. Her breasts were the subject of all my fantasies. Many a time I tossed off thinking what they’d feel like if I squeezed them together and put my …’ He hesitated, then shrugged, as if making a decision to just say it as it was. ‘My dick between them. Warm, soft, tight. I even had a photograph of her with this itsy-bitsy bikini on. I would set it above two pillows and pretend it was really her. Not that I looked at her face, just her cleavage. Which was all well and good, this fantasy,’ he said, ‘until Uriana, our Greek maid, walked in to my bedroom and caught me coming all over Phedra’s smiling face.’ He paused. ‘Am I shocking you yet?’

‘No, not at all.’ A bit, maybe, but by his candid honesty more than his teenage actions.

I washed his abdomen meticulously and tenderly. Thinking how much physical exercise he must have endured to get such deeply ridged muscles etched into his stomach. I suddenly became aware that I was prolonging the task and he’d stopped chatting to watch me. Quickly I reached for the towel. ‘And then what?’ I asked, swallowing tightly.

‘It’s good to be able to talk,’ he said, watching me dry. ‘It’s like going on a trip down memory lane. I’ve spent too much time just sitting here thinking lately. Weird how thoughts swirl inside your head, when you have an injury that could be life changing.’

‘Hopefully not “too” life changing,’ I said. ‘And, yes, it is good to talk, so come on, what happened when the maid walked in? You’re keeping me in suspense.’

He widened his eyes and shook his head. ‘Oh, yeah. Shit, I thought the roof was going lift off the villa. The sight of me, butt naked, on my knees …’ He hesitated, blew out a breath and shook his head.

I tried to rid the image he’d created in my brain. It was pretty hot, especially if I imagined him in that position as a man, and not as a teen.

‘Yeah, me,’ he went on, ‘butt naked, on my knees, exploding over a photo of a smiling brunette. The maid screams, drops the mop and bucket of water she’s carrying and runs onto the landing as though the hounds of hell are after her. Well, I’m just frozen. Time’s stopped. It wasn’t until I saw Phedra’s face, smiling up at me and wearing some freakish pearly face-mask that I realised what was happening. I jumped up pretty sharpish then. Pulled on my clothes and spent the next ten minutes calming Uriana down and bribing her with my entire stash of drachma, this was before Euros you see. In the end, in return for payment, she promised not to say anything to my parents when they got home. There must have been the equivalent of fifty quid in my wallet, a month’s wages for her, at least. Luckily she stuck to her word, though she never walked into my room again without knocking.’

‘I bet she didn’t.’ I reached for a clean, black T-shirt from his locker, shook it and held it up. ‘Do you want to wear this overnight?’

‘Yeah, that will do. Got it from a U2 concert years ago.’

‘Nice.’ I helped him slip it on, being careful to stretch the sleeves wide over his hands and making sure there were no creases in his back. I then pulled back the sheet. He wore red boxer shorts and his long legs were thick, strong and hair-coated. There was an oblong dressing over his right thigh.

‘Worst thing about the whole thing,’ he said, resting his head back as I started to carefully wash his legs. ‘Was it took so long for me to guarantee Uriana’s silence that when I got back to Phedra’s photograph, my goddamn cum had wrecked it, fizzed it away or something. I was more fed up about that than Uriana walking in on me. I tried to clean it up, even had a go at drawing in her cleavage again and the outlines of her bikini top and nipples – which, by the way, you could just see straining through. There must have been a breeze on the beach that day or something.’ He laughed. ‘Or something. In my naivety I liked to think since I’d taken the shot that she was turned-on by me. I’d been feeling all macho and muscled up since I’d just hit six foot. I pretended, on several occasions, that she was actually thinking about us in bed together as I’d taken the picture.’ He sighed. ‘What happened next didn’t quite go to plan, though.’

‘And the plan was?’

‘You sure you want to hear?’

He really was a talker, and getting quite into his story. I wiped and dried his kneecaps. ‘I wouldn’t be listening otherwise, I’d be making some excuse that I had other patients to see to.’

He looked worried. ‘Do you?’

‘No, not at all.’ I smiled. ‘Just you, so carry on. I’m intrigued.’

‘It was a disaster,’ he said, ‘after my photograph of Phedra was ruined, I made a pact with myself that I wouldn’t go to university without at least touching her breasts. Heck, I was seventeen, that should have been a tick on my scorecard already and so should several other things. Most of my mates were going all the way with their birds, so they’d said.

‘About two weeks later I was out with Phedra. We’d been to a disco with a group of friends. She’d been glued to my side all night, touching my chest, kissing my neck. Really staking her claim on me in front of all the other girls. I could have taken my pick of them in reality. I had sun-blond hair, a tan, and as I said, I’d shot up that year.

‘The disco was good. Phedra and I danced wildly. I flung her about, she laughed, I pressed her to me and she giggled and told me I was the only one for her. When a slow song came on at the end, I dragged her close, so close her soft, big breasts pressed against my chest and I swear I could feel her nipples poking at my shirt. Naturally, the snake in my trousers went from asleep to wide-awake in the space of a nanosecond, and there was nothing I could do to hide it. Part of me didn’t want to, so I kept her close. Real close. Jesus, I can still remember the look on her face now. Wide eyes, a quick “oh” of surprise and then she tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth and kinda smiled. Damn, that gesture was so innocent yet so bloody erotic.’

I licked my lips and realised, with a flutter in my chest, that I’d been doing the exact same thing as I’d shaved him. Had he thought that was erotic too?

‘I hope you don’t think less of me for this next bit, Sharon, but remember I was a horny teenager, and I was yet to get myself any action, of any description.’

‘Not at all. It’s all part of life.’

‘Yeah, you’re right about that.’ He paused. ‘So I took her home, I always did, and when we got there, me still hard as an iron girder – God knows how I managed to walk – we noticed her parents were out. I asked if I could come in. Get a drink. It was July, hot enough to fry eggs on the road, even at night.

‘Her house was small, frilly, if you know what I mean. Lace doilies, crocheted tablecloths: effigies of Christ all over the place, on the wall, on the fireplace, even on top of the fridge. We guzzled water, but then while I had thoughts of going into her bedroom and persuading her to finally show me her beautiful breasts, she opted for the sofa in the living room. Said she wanted to show me some history book of her father’s or something. So I sat next to her, horny as heck, and not even trying to disguise that fact. I looked at her chest, jiggling slightly under the low-cut, polka-dot dress she wore and eventually, I took the plunge and went for a kiss that was full of passion.

‘She matched my enthusiasm and my hopes soared. This was it. Phedra was as into it as I was. Her chest was mashed against mine, her nipples tight. Her tits were big but she felt so small, with tiny shoulders, delicate arms squeezing me. I felt like a man, you know, and I couldn’t wait to prove that I was one.

‘I lowered her down, onto her back, surprised that she was letting me take such control. She usually stopped our kisses if my breaths got a bit heavy. But not this time. No, this time her breaths were as heavy as mine, her little hands were skimming up and down my body. I spread kisses down her neck – her skin tasted of vanilla and sherbet, kind of summery but also dead sexy.

‘I was growing bolder, exploring the first rise of her breasts with my tongue. She slid her hands into my hair, arched her back, pressing herself into me. Encouraged, I slipped the straps of her dress from her shoulders and exposed her gorgeous chest. She didn’t wear a bra so my access was unhindered and I had none of the agonised fumbling my mates complained of when trying to undo clips and catches, know what I mean?’

I nodded.

‘She was perfect and fitted in my hand just right. I can still remember the weight of the outside slopes as I squashed them together, creating that channel my horny teenage imagination had been dreaming about for so long. She panted my name and I suckled her nipples. The most lovely gasps and sighs came from her. I was flying high. I was onto a winner. Sucking Phedra’s perfect breasts was a top fantasy and fulfilling it was spinning me high. Well, it did for a few minutes, and then the damn anaconda between my legs demanded attention. I sat up. It pained me to move even an inch from her, and I was scared that I might break the spell. But luckily it didn’t. She just stared at my groin, all big eyes and slack mouth as I tugged out my erection. I had to touch it carefully, I was so close to coming. One wrong move, a frantic jerk or an over-zealous squeeze and it would be all over.

‘I repositioned with my legs either side of her chest. It was a bit awkward on the sofa, but I managed. She just lay there and eyed my engorged manhood like it might bite her. I said a few words of encouragement as I angled the head between her tits, and this seemed to spur her on. She squeezed the flesh together, creating that perfect tunnel between them, just what I’d fantasied about. I remember sucking in a breath, holding it deep, and then sliding through her sweat-damp cleavage. If felt amazing. Not least because she groaned like she actually enjoyed it. That hadn’t been something I’d counted on. By the time I’d repeated the action my balls were tight into my body. I was so close.

‘She was watching the tip of me pop out of her cleavage on each ride. I thought about sliding into her gasping mouth but decided to save that for another time. I was too close to shooting my load. I wouldn’t get there.

‘And then, I had my first spurting session with a real, live girl. Jizz flew from my slit, slapping onto her throat, her chin. I shunted into her breasts, fascinated by the sight of my semen landing around her mouth, her cheeks. Damn, I was proud of the serious quantities my balls could produce. She looked shocked to be honest, shocked and stunned.

‘Well, I had about three seconds of being on top of the world, and thinking this was it, from now on we’d forget about discos or lounging at the beach. We had found a new pastime for whenever we hung out. Damn, she even looked like the photograph I’d jizzed over. And then the overhead light went on, brilliant and white, and her parents looked in from the living room doorway.’

‘Bloody hell,’ I said. ‘You really didn’t get much privacy as a teenager did you.’

‘Tell me about it,’ he groaned. ‘Again I just froze and stared down at Phedra, who was sticky and gooey, and looking like someone who’d just woken up and found themselves dropped into a porn movie.

‘The mother squealed and begged the Lord to save them from my hideous urges then fled to the kitchen. Her father, in Greek, told me to get my pants up. Naturally, I did, pretty sharpish, didn’t want him messing with Mr Cobra down there. Phedra grabbed a red-and-white lacy shawl from the arm of the sofa, wiped her face, kind of – she missed a blob of cum just to the left of her mouth – then quickly dragged up the straps of her dress.

‘It’s then it becomes really shameful, if you can imagine it being more so. I told the biggest lie of my life. Her father, although a small man, managed to look like a damn ninja in that moment, and he asked me what my intentions were with his daughter. I looked to Phedra for support, but her face had drained of colour, her hands were shaking, she looked too shocked to even cry. I glanced around the room and my attention fell on a grainy photograph of Phedra’s parents in a silver frame. That’s when the lie came to me. I took Phedra’s hand, squeezed it tight and told him that my intention was to marry his daughter.

‘He still didn’t look too happy, though he did unclench his fists. So I kissed Phedra’s knuckles, dropped to my knee and looked into her eyes with as much sincerity as I could muster given the circumstances. I proposed then, and it felt kind of right. She let out a little sob, that blob of cum on her face wobbled, and then she nodded.

‘And that was how I became engaged, the first time, at least. Her mother came running into the room and hugged me, the father shook my hand, and Phedra finally stopped shaking and I managed to discreetly wipe the last of my excitement from her face.’

‘The first time?’ I asked, freshening up the water and spotting a tube of aqueous cream on the shelf. ‘Tell me about the second.’ I set about massaging the cream into his freshly washed feet. His toes were long, the arches deep, there were a few pale hairs on his two biggest toes. He didn’t react to my extra measures at preventing bedsores so I guessed he wasn’t ticklish.

‘I bought Phedra a ring, then much to her surprise informed her I was still going to Manchester to study. I told her this would mean a better life for us in the future. She cried to start with but eventually she saw my reasoning. Perhaps I wouldn’t have gone if Phedra had let me go all the way, but she’d barely let me touch her since I’d slipped a ring on her finger.

‘The thing was though, her look-but-don’t-touch plan backfired. I’d barely been in Manchester a week and I was in bed with Stella, a red-haired student on my marketing course. She was as in to it as much as me, and wonderfully experienced. She used to do this rotating thing with her hips and then squeeze her internal muscles. Damn, it drove me to the edge every time. God knows how we managed to get any studying done that first term, we were insatiable.

‘Did I miss Phedra? No, not a jot. I wouldn’t have admitted that even to myself back then, though, I liked to pretend I wasn’t that much of a scumbag. I even tried to justify it in my head that I was refining my technique ready for our wedding night. But really, I don’t know who I was trying to kid. I loved being with Stella. She was hot, naughty, and just like a bloke the way she wanted to get naked anywhere, anytime, anyhow.’

‘Sounds fun.’

‘It was, and after Stella it was Nancy, then Emily, and then a bunch of girls whose names all kind of merge into one in my memory. I was on a frenzy for the whole three years I studied. It helped being compared to Brad Pitt who was just making a name for himself as an on-screen god back then. Personally, I thought the resemblance was tenuous, but I wasn’t going to deny girls their fantasy and did my best to make them squeal in delight until the early hours of the morning.

‘I never saw Phedra again. And I’m ashamed to admit that. Not to break off the engagement nor to explain myself. I just didn’t go home in the holidays. My parents were shocked by my long absence from Greece and even came to see me after eighteen months with reports of Phedra’s distress and her family’s growing concerns for my commitment to her. I told them nothing had changed and I just wanted to be standing on my own two feet financially before taking on the responsibility of a wife.

‘They left after three days, not entirely convinced and seemingly suspicious of all the pretty girls who called “hello” to me around the campus. I never saw them again, my parents. And that last meeting, that was full of deception, pains me even all these years later. They were killed the next spring, in a plane crash. They were on one of these light aircrafts and it crashed into the sea in a storm. My parents and three of my father’s work colleagues and their wives were all reported missing. They’d been to Cephalonia on some work-jolly, wine-tasting weekend. It seemed the pilot had also indulged, so the inquest said.

‘The bodies were never found, so no funeral as such. They had a service, of course, but I didn’t go. My sister never forgave me for that, and I’ve never forgiven myself for it either. But the thought of seeing Phedra and her parents was just too terrifying. Why, I don’t know. I should have manned up and told her the situation, but while the authorities were searching for the plane for two months I fell into a place where only alcohol and shagging seemed to make the pain bearable.

‘My university course came to an end. I had a degree, plenty of inherited cash and had taken to fluttering on the horses, which just added to my list of vices – women, booze and gambling. I had a big win, on a horse at Cheltenham, and decided to use the cash to do some travelling. I hopped on a plane to Vegas, the city of lights and dreams. It turned out to be a one-way ticket for several years.

‘On my very first night there I met Cleo. She was tall, blonde, bubbly and from Texas. Her Southern drawl made my groin ache right from the first time she said “Howdy, cowboy, how ya doin’?” I bought her a drink and she sat with me at a roulette table in Caesars Palace. When she kissed my cheek and wished me luck right before a thousand-buck win came in, I was smitten.

‘Cleo became my world. I gambled a small fortune but won a larger one. My luck just kept on growing and for six months I didn’t need to work at all. Then a friend I’d made said he was opening his own casino, just off the strip. Not quite as salubrious as Vegas’ other signature hotels, but classy enough for me to want to invest. With inheritance and big wins I threw up fifty per cent of the cash he needed and signed the deal on the same night I proposed for the second time in my life.

‘Cleo, in her true spirit, yeha’d and leapt on me. I adored her enthusiasm for life, her ditzy nature and the fact that in her eyes I could do no wrong, despite my failings. None of which I’d ever tried to hide; she knew it all. I’d cocked up with my family, drank and gambled, but she still loved me. It made me love her all the more.

‘We married, but we didn’t settle in Texas, we bought a pad in Vegas. Cleo didn’t need to work. She had her nails done, went to the gym, wished me luck when I threw dice. She was there for me, I was there for her, and the casino I’d invested in was making me a good living with minimal effort required. We were on a permanent holiday and for several blissful years I was happier than I thought it possible to be.

‘Then Cleo began to withdraw and eventually confessed she hadn’t been taking her pill and couldn’t understand why she wasn’t pregnant. Technically she should have been – we were at it every opportunity we got. We were like a couple of rabbits on speed. And why not, she had a body made for fantasies and was up for anything, if you know what I mean.’

‘Mmm,’ I said, thinking what a lucky girl this Cleo was to be rolling not just a dice but also between the sheets with Ted.

‘I paid for us to go and see the best doctor in town. A ton of tests later, we got our answer. I was shooting blanks, no swimmers at all. Not one little bugger to even have a go at wriggling into an ovum. All that time I’d been so proud of my huge quantities of jizz, presuming it to be laden with tadpoles, and it was just empty juice – vodka and lemonade without the damn vodka.’

‘That’s bad luck,’ I said. ‘I’m really sorry.’

‘Yeah, we were too, devastated in fact, and I began to drink heavily again, something I’d stopped doing. My luck took a downward turn at the tables, not that it mattered. I only gambled with my spare change really. The casino was my steady wage and paid the bills. I guess I was depressed again but didn’t recognise it at the time.

‘It was a few months before I noticed there was something different about Cleo. She was putting on weight, eating weird stuff and sleeping all the time. She couldn’t hide her pregnancy from me for another day.

‘Her confirmation of my suspicion really turned my world upside down. That feeling, dreams coming true, existed for an entire three seconds, then she blurted out that the baby was Stan’s. Stan was my best friend, the guy I’d set up the casino with. It seemed during my depression Stan had been cheering Cleo up, not with a box of chocolates and a bunch of flowers, but with his big, fat, cheating dick.

‘If I thought I’d been depressed before, then now I was rock bottom. Cleo announced that she was in love with Stan and wanted to divorce me and marry him so he could raise his child. Talk about getting kicked in the guts when you’re already down. I’m pretty sure I would have made a go of it, with her and the baby, if she’d just given me some time to get used to the idea. I loved her with all my heart and could have loved her child. But Cleo always was an instant gratification kind of girl. If she wanted something she wanted it now, and right then, she wanted Stan.

‘So there was nothing left for me to do but sell the house and move away. I didn’t fancy Greece and a sister who still wouldn’t speak to me and a fiancée who I hoped had moved on with her life but would probably still garrote me given the chance.’

‘So that’s how you came back to the UK?’ I asked, finishing up with his feet and putting the cream back on the shelf.

‘Yes, I went to Manchester. It was where I knew and I took a job in marketing. I hated it, despite climbing the ranks pretty quickly. Everyone there was such a shark, ready to take chunks out of one another to look good or claim an idea or strategy. I might not be a model citizen, but I knew right from wrong, and the things that went on at this place, well it was just plain immoral.

‘So five years ago, divorced, alone, and in a job I hated, I upped sticks to the Dales and joined the fire service. It wasn’t as well paid as marketing. But for the first time I felt like I was doing something worthwhile. The guys I worked with were salt-of-the-earth types and the people I helped genuinely in need. I finally found a sense of peace within myself.’

He sighed, and I helped him drink a little more of his beer. He gulped quickly, taking over half the drink in one go.

‘Until three weeks ago,’ he said licking his lips. ‘That damn beam came down and this happened.’ He held up his bandaged hands. ‘I guess it could have been worse though.’

‘Yep, you could not be here at all, same goes for the person you saved,’ I said, squeezing out the flannel.

He gave a small shudder. ‘I know, I’m used to risking myself but the thought of a bad judgment or a twist of fate having implications for someone else makes my blood run cold if I think about it too much.’

‘I know what you mean.’

‘Yeah, I’m sure, doing the job you do.’

Our eyes connected briefly.

‘So have you been going through all of this alone?’ I asked.

‘I’ve got good friends, the best. The guys from the station have been in and out visiting.’ He sighed. ‘But an accident like this, it kind of reminds them all of their own mortality and the risks they take on a daily basis. It’s not easy viewing.’

‘What about your sister? Has she been to see you?’

‘No. I sent her a letter two weeks ago. I know it arrived in Greece, I sent it recorded delivery. She signed for it but she hasn’t answered. Not yet anyway.’

I shook my head. What a cow. An injured brother and she ignores him because of something that happened years ago. Life was too short. I had no siblings and would have done just about anything to have a brother or sister when I was growing up. Some people didn’t know how lucky they were.

‘Hey, don’t look sorry for me,’ he said. ‘That’s the last thing I need. I’m sure it will all work out.’ He grinned. ‘Me and Mr Cobra down there have had some serious fun, and one thing I’ve learnt is you’ve gotta take the ups with the downs. This is just one of the downs, I’ll get through it no matter what the future holds.’ His eyes sparkled, telling his story had obviously made him wonder what direction his life would take from here. Would he be able to go back to the job that had finally given him his place in the world and brought him peace?