Читать книгу The Cowboy's Unexpected Family - Linda Ford - Страница 12

Chapter Three

Roper tethered the horse nearby then pitched the tent. When he finished, it had a nice taut roof line. He gathered up firewood and built a fire.

He stretched out on the bank, stared at the flickering flames and listened to the murmur of voices from up the hill. Everyone was secure and happy. He’d managed to deal with two issues at the same time. He could help Cassie put up her house and keep the kids safe and together.

More than that, he’d played with the boys and seen them relax. Now to do the same for the girls. Daisy took her responsibilities so seriously it might take her a while to let go. But Pansy could well prove the greatest challenge of them all. She was so young. So shy. He smiled up at the star-laden sky as he recalled how she ducked her face into Daisy’s shoulder when she made eye contact. She was comfortable enough to laugh only when Neil or Daisy held her.

But Roper wanted to see her comfortable enough to let Cassie and himself hold her and play with her.

All he had to do was gain her confidence.

He also meant to get Cassie to stop trying so hard. What was she aiming to prove, anyway? Everyone knew she could do whatever she set her mind to. She was like a stubborn badger in that way.

He’d once watched a furry little badger digging a hole, dirt flying faster than a man could shovel. The badger encountered a rock in his path and simply dug around it.

Cassie was almost as belligerent as a badger, too.

Why didn’t she accept life and enjoy it? Made no sense to fight it all the time.

He smiled as he thought how to deal with the quintet up the hill. In the morning he’d spend some time playing with them so they’d forget their troubles.

His breath eased out in a long contented sigh. He’d struck a great bargain in getting Cassie to agree to help him with the children in exchange for him putting up her house. He chuckled into the dark. What had she planned to do with that pile of lumber without his help? He could picture her fashioning a structure as shaky as the tent she’d put up.

Why was she so prickly about accepting help? He could build a good solid-frame house in a matter of days.

Mentally he planned the construction. He might have to drag it out longer than necessary in order to care for the young ’uns until their uncle made arrangements. But Cassie would know if he purposely dillydallied. He’d need a solid explanation she’d accept.

He sat up briskly and drew his knees to his chest. “Of course. That’s the answer.” She’d need a cellar to store her supplies in. It would take him a few days to dig one. Satisfied with his plan, he lay back again.

The sounds from up the hill subsided. Everyone was tucked in for the night. He kicked sand over the fire and went into the shelter of his tent. But he didn’t immediately fall asleep as he normally would. Instead, he thanked God for the opportunity to take care of both Cassie and the youngsters.

* * *

Next morning Roper was up with the dawn and bagged four partridges. He dressed them and roasted them over his fire. By the time he heard Pansy’s shrill voice, the birds were ready for breakfast and he marched up the hill.

Neil and Billy were outside, bleary-eyed in the morning sun.

“Morning, boys. I brought some breakfast in case anyone’s hungry.”

Both pairs of eyes immediately lost all sleepiness.

“I’m hungry,” Billy said.

“Never mind him. He’s always hungry.” But Neil’s gaze didn’t waver from studying the roasted birds.

Daisy led Pansy from the tiny abode. As soon as the little one saw Roper, she lifted her hands to her sister and insisted on being carried.

What would it take to get the littlest one to warm up to him? At that moment, Cassie stepped out, head down as she fingered her hair into submission in a ragged bun. Her distraction allowed him plenty of time to study her. Her black hair glistened like sun off water. She had a leanness to her that once made him think her frail. She’d soon disabused him of that notion. She was about as frail as a sapling clinging tenaciously to the side of a mountain in the midst of winter storms and summer heat. His heart sunk to the bottom of his chest. He’d had little success getting her to warm up to him.

Cassie grew still and sniffed, catching the scent of his offering. She lifted her gaze—full of interest until she saw him. Then the interest faded to resistance.

Must she always be so prickly?

“Brought breakfast,” he murmured before she could say anything.

She opened her mouth, glanced around at the expectant children and closed it again as if she needed to reconsider her reaction. “I expect the children are hungry. I’ve got a few more biscuits, as well.” She ducked back inside and reemerged with a pan to put the birds in and tin plates for everyone. “I dug out the dishes from my supplies.” She passed around plates for each.

“Guess I’ll need to build us a table and benches.” He slipped the birds from the spit as he talked and wiped his knife on his pant leg before he set to carving them.

The children watched in total fascination. Even little Pansy, although she kept her face pressed to Daisy’s shoulder, watched his knife slice off portions, drool wetting her sister’s dress. Seems it had been a few days since this bunch had had a good feed. He put a piece on each plate and Cassie added a biscuit. The youngsters perched on logs but no one took a bite.

Roper sent Cassie a questioning look. She shrugged. Then her mouth pursed as if she realized something. “I expect you’re all waiting for someone to say grace.”

Four heads nodded.

“Ma said we should never forget to thank the good Lord for His mercies,” Daisy said.

“I sure am thankful for breakfast,” Billy said. “It smells awfully good.” He swallowed hard.

Roper blinked as every pair of eyes turned to him. “Me?”

“You’re the man,” Neil pointed out. “Ma said it was a man’s job to lead the family. I said grace when Pa was away.” His chest swelled with pride then sank again. “But I’m just a kid.”

The expectation of these youngsters made Roper want to stand tall. Yes, he was a man. One who seldom thought to say grace when he was out on the trail and this wasn’t much different. Not that he couldn’t. But at the cook shack, Cookie or her husband, Bertie, said grace. It had been a long time since he’d spoken a prayer aloud. In fact—

“I could do it if you want I should,” Neil offered in an uncertain voice.

“No, I’ll do it.”

The children reached for each other’s hands. Billy reached for his hand on one side. That left Roper with one hand to extend toward Cassie. He hesitated. Would she refuse this gesture?

Daisy gave them both a look that was half scolding and half confused.

He reached for Cassie’s hand and she slipped hers into his as she darted a look at him from under black eyelashes. One eyebrow quirked as if daring him to read more into this than he should.

A grin threatened to split his face.

She sighed, and nodded toward the cooling food.

Still smiling, he bowed his head. Suddenly his mind went blank. What did Bertie or Cookie say? He should be able to remember. Cookie, especially, bellowed the words loud enough to brand them on his brain. “Dear God. Thanks for the food. Thanks for health and strength.” Cookie normally said more. Sometimes a whole lot more but he must have paid more attention to the aroma of the food waiting his attention than the words because they had disappeared. “Amen.”

The children attacked their food.

He didn’t realize he held Cassie’s hand in a deadly grip until she jerked his arm to get his attention. With an unrepentant grin, he freed her. He held her gaze for several seconds before she huffed and turned to her food. He got a kick out of teasing her.

A few minutes later the children finished and stared at the slower adults.

He felt their unasked question. “What?”

Neil and Daisy exchanged a silent look that spoke volumes.

“Spit it out.” He swallowed the last bit of biscuit and put his plate on the ground before him. “You might as well say what’s on your mind. After all, we’re going to be together for a time.” He figured it would a few days for the Mountie to take care of his business. He hoped he could then persuade the man to leave the children with them while he contacted the uncle. Daisy nodded. “Ma made us promise we’d make sure the little ones are raised right and that we continue some of our practices that both Ma and Pa held as important.”

He guessed Daisy was going someplace with this information but he had no idea where and turned his questioning gaze to Cassie, wondering if she got the drift, but she merely shrugged.

“What practice did you have in mind, Daisy?”

Daisy glanced at Neil who nodded encouragement.

She took a deep breath. “Ma, and Pa before he left, always read to us from the Bible after breakfast. And they prayed for us to have a good day and be safe. You could be like Pa.”

Roper stared. He guessed he looked as surprised as he felt. Being raised in an orphanage, he had no knowledge of this kind of thing. Of course, he knew families had traditions but he thought that meant trimming the Christmas tree or going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house for Sunday dinner.

He swallowed hard and clamped his lips together. The idea of playing pa to these youngsters...

It sounded mighty appealing but he had no idea how it was done.

He managed to find his voice. “I got no Bible.”

Daisy turned to Cassie. “Do you?”

She nodded. “I’ll get it.” She hustled to the shelter, and disappeared from sight. They all stared after her.

Roper had to wonder if the children felt as awkward as he. But likely not. This was familiar to them.

Cassie returned and handed him a Bible bound in brown leather. He trailed his fingers over the soft cover.

“It was my husband’s.”

He lifted his head to meet her gaze. He knew she’d been married before. Their first introduction referred to her as a widow. Yet holding this solid proof of a lost love did something unsettling to his insides. “You sure you don’t mind us using it?”

She shrugged. “It doesn’t do much good tucked in the bottom of a bag, now does it? Besides, the children have made a request. Shouldn’t you try and fulfill it?”

He opened to the first page. Presented to George James Godfrey on the occasion of his sixteenth birthday by his loving parents.

Swallowing a lump of guilt, feeling as if he had inadvertently ventured into private territory, he quickly turned the page. This certifies that Cassie Ann Muddbottom and George James Godfrey were united in Holy Matrimony. He sputtered back a snort of laughter. Muddbottom. Some of his mirth leaked out. He felt Cassie’s considering look and flipped the page. Births and deaths. He should not read this. It was too personal. But his eyes did not obey his brain. Baby boy Godfrey. Baby girl Godfrey. She’d had two children? Where were they? The answer lay in the record before him. They were born and died the same day. Oh, Cassie. I had no idea. If they’d been alone he would have spoken his sympathy. Maybe even risked her ire by pulling her into his arms and patting her back.

Instead, he sucked in a gulp of air and continued turning pages till he got to the pertinent stuff. He cleared his throat and read, “‘In the beginning God...’” He read to the end of the chapter then slowly closed the book.

The children sighed as if content. The feeling lasted about thirty seconds before he realized they waited for him to pray for their safety throughout the day. Just as their pa had.

He sat up taller and squared his shoulders. He wasn’t their pa, but he could do this. “Let’s pray.” They all bowed their heads. Even Cassie. His throat tightened as he glanced at them. Maybe this was how fathers felt, though he wasn’t sure how to describe the feeling. Protectiveness, or responsibility or... He swallowed back a lump at the word that sprang to his mind. Joy. Joy at such a privilege. It was his first real taste of being part of a family and he rather liked it. Even as a portion of his brain reminded him of one of his rules. Don’t put down roots. You’ll only have them ripped out. It wasn’t a lesson he cared to repeat.

He ducked his head before anyone wondered what took him so long. “Dear God in heaven, who made the earth and everything in it, please watch over us today. Keep us safe. Help us be happy. Amen.”

Daisy got to her feet, shifted Pansy farther up her hip and gathered up the dishes with her free hand. “I’ll wash them.”

Neil headed for the water bucket. “I’ll fetch more water.”

Billy glanced about. “What should I do?”

“Get more firewood,” both older children said at once and the entire family set to work.

Roper fingered the Bible on his lap. He wanted to say something to Cassie about her losses. But he didn’t want to upset her. Seemed being reminded of two dead babies and a deceased husband just might do that. But he enjoyed sitting by her side and didn’t want her to leave. “Do all families do that?”

She jerked and seemed to gather herself up from some distant spot. “Do what?”

“Read the Bible and pray each morning. Is that what all families do?”

She turned then and considered him with such brown-eyed intensity he had to force himself not to squirm.

“I’m guessing they didn’t do so in the orphanage?”

“Nope. We stood for grace. Ate quietly and without complaint even when the food was thin gruel, then gathered our dishes and carried them to a big tub before we marched to our classrooms.”

“No Bible instruction?”

He chuckled at the idea of wasting time on such an activity. “On Sunday we were given religious instruction. When I was about ten there was a sweet old man who came in and told Bible stories and made it seem like fun. A lot of us became believers when he was there. But he only came a couple of years. The rest of the time we had stiff preachers who intoned a sermon for us.” He realized his voice imitated their mind-numbing monotone and he grunted. “Haven’t thought about it in a long time. I remember the sessions were so boring some of the little ones would fall asleep. If they were caught they’d be punished. I made sure they didn’t get caught.”

Her eyes sparked with curiosity and a warmth that sent satisfaction into his soul. He liked having her regard him with eyes like that.

“What did you do?”

“To keep them from getting caught? If we were allowed to sit where we wanted, I sat with the little ones and played finger games that didn’t attract any attention but kept the little ones watching.” He illustrated by having the fingers of one hand do a jig on the back of the other. “It was nothing special but they had to keep alert to see when I’d do something.”

“And if you couldn’t sit with them?”

“Then it was harder. But one of the things I did was send a tap down the line. Everyone would pass it on to the little ones.”

“Seems you felt responsible for the younger children.”

He considered the observation. “It wasn’t really responsibility. Not like Daisy. It was more like I wanted everyone to be happy.”

Her grin tipped the flesh at the corner of her eyes upward. “I think you haven’t changed a great deal.”

He tried to think how he felt about her evaluation. He decided it was true and he didn’t mind that she’d noticed something he did without thinking about it. “Back to my original question.” He tipped his head to indicate the circle where the children had sat. “Is it normal? You have a family. Is that what you did?”

Her eyes darkened. The smile fled from her face. What had he said to bring such distress to her face? Whatever it was, it had been unintentional.

But how could he undo it when he was at a loss to explain it?

* * *

The ground beneath Cassie’s feet seemed to tip as a thousand memories crowded her mind. “My father died when I was nine so I don’t recall much about being a whole family.” Except she suddenly did. “I remember sitting on my father’s knee as he read aloud. We were in a rocking chair. A lamp glowed nearby so it must have been evening. Mother was in the kitchen so it was just me and...” She stopped the words that had come from nowhere. Just her and those comforting, secure arms. “Just me and my father.” The memory ached through her. She concentrated on breathing slowly and deeply. She forced strength into her voice. “Seems I recall my father reading to me at night. He heard my prayers before Mother tucked me in and kissed me good night.”

“Didn’t you keep doing the same things after he was gone? I guess I would...both to honor him and preserve the memory.”

“Things changed after he died.” Her grandfather didn’t allow such extravagances. The child is big enough to put herself to bed. I’m not supporting you to spend time coddling her. She pushed to her feet. “I better get to work.” She went to join Daisy at the dishpan. “I’ll dry,” she said to the girl.

Roper strode away in the direction of Macpherson’s store. She wouldn’t watch him go. Nor voice any curiosity about why. But hadn’t he said he’d build her house? Shouldn’t he be doing so? He liked to make everyone happy, did he? She sensed it was more than that. Seems he had a need to make sure people were well taken care of. Well, she silently huffed, she had no need of his help. She’d learned to depend on no one. She had all she needed right here on this little bit of land. She glanced about at the piles of lumber, the neat little shelter Roper had erected. Yes, she’d accept his help in exchange for providing care for the children. But she’d never make the mistake of expecting it nor of counting on it.

Daisy persuaded Pansy to sit on a log at her side as she dried the dishes. “I want to thank you for allowing us to stay here and I promise we’ll do our best not to be any trouble.”

Children are nothing but trouble. The words reverberated through her head in her grandfather’s harsh voice. How could such a coldhearted man raise a son who turned out to be a loving father? Why had the better of the two died? Seemed bitterly unfair in her mind.

She hated that these children should feel the same condemning words hovering in the background and vowed she would not do or say anything to make them real. She dried her hands on the towel and turned to Daisy. With her still-damp hands, she clasped the girl’s shoulders and turned her so they were face-to-face. “I don’t consider you the least bit of trouble. In fact, it would be mighty lonely if I were here by myself.” Yet that was exactly what she intended once the children were gone. “Besides, isn’t it to my benefit? I get help to build my house.”

Daisy considered her steadily, then, satisfied with Cassie’s assurance, nodded. “Still. I wouldn’t want you to regret it.”

“I promise I won’t.” As she returned to her task a flash drew her attention to the side. Roper stood with two spades over his shoulder, so new and shiny the sun reflected off them. He stared as if he’d overheard the conversation. She favored him with a challenging glare, silently informing him not to read anything into her confession of loneliness. It was meant to reassure the children, not give him an argument to pursue.

“What’s with the shovels?” Far as she could figure he needed to wield hammer and saw, not shovels.

He moved closer so she saw the green glints in his eyes. “Got to thinking. Didn’t you say you plan to bake bread for the store?”

She nodded even though he knew the answer.

“And feed travelers?”

She didn’t bother to nod again.

“Seems you might be needing a cellar. You know. To keep things cool in the summer and stop your canned goods from freezing in the winter. So me and Neil are gonna dig you one.”

No way could she hide her surprise and she knew he read it on her face by the way he grinned in satisfaction. He held her gaze for several seconds.

She tried to tell herself she didn’t notice the way his eyes flashed pleasure at coming up with an idea that seemed to please her. Tried to convince herself he was only doing what he always did—making sure people were happy. But try as she might she couldn’t deny a little start of something both sweet and reluctant. It was sweet to have someone appear to care about what might please her. But she dare not let herself think past that. A woman in her situation could do no better than maintain her independence.

Still grinning, Roper called Neil and handed him a shovel. Together they marched to where she’d marked the boundaries of her house and began to dig.

An hour later they’d made little progress.

She began to suspect digging a cellar hole would consume an inordinate length of time.

Had that been his reason for suggesting it? Not concern for her at all but only an excuse to hang around and do for her what she preferred to do for herself?

He’d always balked at her independence.

She glanced about at the children. Daisy brushed Pansy’s hair and talked softly to her. Neil worked alongside Roper trying his best to dig at the same pace as Roper, which was impossible yet Roper told the boy how well he was doing. Billy carried the dirt to the designated area. How could she tell Roper she suspected him of delay tactics?

She didn’t need or want him trying to take care of her.