Читать книгу The Cowboy Father - Linda Ford - Страница 12

Chapter Three

Louisa watched Emmet’s departure, feeling the same frightening desperation she heard in Ellie’s voice. Don’t leave us. I don’t know what I’m doing. Adele had laid out the lessons and told her what to expect. “The first thing to remember is the child may be resistant to the whole idea of having to do schoolwork while in bed. Find a way to pique her interest and curiosity.”

Sounded so easy when Adele said it. But she could do this. Louisa drew a brave breath and began. “First, I’d like you to tell me what things you like. That way we can make your lessons as interesting as possible.”

Ellie gave her a stubborn stare. “Can you bring my pony so I can ride?”

Louisa laughed softly. “I think that is outside my power. What games do you like?”

“Hide-and-seek. Racing. Climbing trees. We can’t do that either, I suppose.” Ellie boldly challenged Louisa with her words and her expression.

“You’re quite right. So let’s think of something you can do and enjoy.”

The child made a most unladylike sound. “There isn’t anything to enjoy while I’m stuck in bed.”

“Do you like reading?”

“Hate it.”

“Do you like stories?” Louisa held up two storybooks she’d enjoyed when she learned to read. The books were well-worn. “These were my two favorites at your age. They’ve been read over and over by myself and my sisters.”

A flicker of interest. Good. “You’ve got sisters?”

“Two. Madge and Sally.”

The interest died. “I’ve got my daddy.” She grew fierce. “He’d be lonely without me.”

“I’m sure he would. He’s fortunate to have you.”

Ellie nodded.

“Just as you’re fortunate to have him. Now, shall I read a story to start with?” Ease into the lessons, Adele had advised.

“I guess.” Her lack of enthusiasm was slightly dampening, but Louisa chose to ignore it, opened the book and began to read. She loved the rhythm of the words, the comfort of the familiar story, but she closed the book at the end of chapter one. “We’ll read more later, but now it’s your turn to read to me.” She handed Ellie the primer Adele thought she would be reading from by now. “Can you read me the first page?”

Ellie fixed Louisa with a stubborn frown and made no move to open the book.

Louisa flipped the pages to the first story. “Start here.”

Ellie didn’t even shift her eyes to the page.

“Ellie, please read this.”

Ellie lowered her eyes, skimmed the page and closed the book. “I can’t.”

“Why can’t you? Is it too hard?”

“I can’t remember.”

Louisa sighed. “What do you remember?”

“Falling out of the tree and landing wrong. You should have heard my leg. It snapped. Like this.” She clicked her tongue to imitate the sound. “I tried not to cry, but my daddy was gone.”

“Gone? Where?” Was this what he meant when he said it was his fault?

“Out working. We own a ranch, you know. He was checking the cows.”

“I see.”

“So now I have to lie in bed in this horrible cast—” She banged on it, the sound a hollow thud. “I can’t do schoolwork.”

“Of course you can work. There’s nothing wrong with your brain.”

Ellie turned away and stared at the door, as if willing Emmet to appear. And he did—sauntered past as if he had other things on his mind, but Louisa knew he was checking to make sure Ellie was okay. He paused. “Things going well?”

“Daddy.” Ellie’s voice quivered in the saddest possible way.

“Things are just fine.” Louisa grabbed a bit of chalk. “Let’s do some arithmetic now. What is the answer to this?” She wrote “1 + 1=” on the blackboard.

Emmet hesitated, watched a moment longer then moved on, and the outside door whacked shut.

“Ellie?”

The child stared clear through Louisa. “I don’t know.”

“You aren’t even looking.” She tapped the blackboard.

Ellie glanced at the numbers. “Can’t remember.”

Louisa crossed her arms and faced the child squarely. “I don’t think that’s the truth. I know you know the answer to one plus one.”

They did a stubborn silent duel.

“Two.” Ellie was not happy about admitting it.

“Good. Now two plus two.”

“Where’s my daddy? I want my daddy.”

“Do you need to go to the bathroom?”

“No. I want my daddy.”

Louisa took two steps until she stood right next to the bed. “Your daddy is working, and you must too.”

“I’m sick.”

“No, you’ve got a broken leg.”

The big gray cat Louisa had met the day before jumped on the bed and stared into Ellie’s eyes.

Louisa laughed. “The cat is telling you to do your schoolwork.”

Ellie shoved the cat to the floor. He landed with a thud and stalked away. “I want my daddy!” Ellie yelled loudly.

Emmet crashed into the house and strode into the room. “Did you call me?”

Ellie nodded, her eyes brimming with innocent tears. “I have to go to the bathroom and Miss Morgan won’t let me.”

Emmet shot Louisa a stinging look.

Louisa wisely refrained from rolling her eyes at the child’s dramatics. Instead, she quietly headed for the door. “I’ll step out while you tend to her needs.”

She came face-to-face with Auntie May. “How long have you been here?”

“Just got in. Emmet and I were fixing the shingles.” Her eyes narrowed. “She been giving you grief?” She tipped her head toward the bedroom.

Louisa opened her mouth to answer, then realized it would be inappropriate to speak of her concerns. “We’re getting a routine established.” Heaven help her if this was the regular pattern she’d be forced to follow.

“The little one is a tad spoiled, though I suppose it’s to be expected. There’s just the two of them.”

“And you.”

Auntie May snorted. “The child barely knows me. Besides, I’m just an old spinster.” She bent to pet the cats crowding around her ankles.

Louisa wanted to see her expression. She longed to see acceptance and peace in Auntie May’s eyes. Needed to know being a spinster wasn’t an unhappy fate.

Louisa straightened her spine. She would become a happy spinster doing things to help others and bringing joy to herself as well. She’d start by showing Ellie it was fun to learn. She’d help the child deal with the boredom of her body cast. It would take more wisdom than her limited experience offered, but she could ask Adele for help, and she could pray. After all, hadn’t God said in James chapter one, verse five, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” It was one of the verses Father had Louisa and her sisters memorize.

Emmet emerged from the room. “Miss Morgan, please call me if Ellie needs to go the bathroom again.” His voice and expression clearly said what his words didn’t. He judged her unkind and unreasonable to not allow his child such basics.

“Of course.” She knew full well there was no point in saying she had asked and Ellie had denied such a need. This battle was between Ellie and herself. With renewed determination, she returned to the child’s bedside.

At noon, when she was done for the day, she’d made absolutely no progress with the planned lessons. Ellie insisted she didn’t know or couldn’t remember anything and refused to do any work.

Louisa emerged from the room, knowing her hair was mussed and her face likely flushed from frustration and fighting back tears. Why had she thought she could do this job? A bubble of self-pity whispered she was totally useless, but Louisa ignored it. Fought back. She wasn’t useless. Not in every aspect. She could help this child if Ellie allowed it.

Emmet walked her out, waiting until they were out of earshot to speak his mind. “I sense you and Ellie are not getting along.”

“Miss Ross said I might encounter resistance. After all, Ellie has lost her freedom. On top of that, everything is new. Familiar things are gone.” Let him think the latter observation came from Adele as well, even though Louisa spoke her own thoughts. “Her only defense is—” she wanted to say defiance, but doubted Emmet would appreciate such a description “—is to exert what little independence she has left. I believe she will soon tire of it and find there are more enjoyable ways to pass the time.”

He looked doubtful. Louisa feared he would tell her not to return. But after several seconds’ consideration, he sighed heavily. “You’re right about one thing. She’s lost everything. She can hardly be blamed for feeling out of sorts.”

“She hasn’t lost everything, though.” Her words were quiet, coming from a place full of certainty that Emmet was more than enough for this child. “She has you.”

“She’ll always have me.”

She nodded, though words pushed at her lips, wanting to warn that he couldn’t promise such.

“As long as I live.” He clenched his fists. “And I fully intend to raise her in such a way that even if something happened to me—God forbid—she would never feel like I was gone. I’d be in her thoughts and in her actions every day.”

Peace filled Louisa. “Exactly what my father did.”

Their gazes connected, forged a single thought about fathers and daughters…how each needed the other. How sweet the relationship.

Louisa tipped her head away first. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” It was half a question, but he nodded.

“Until tomorrow then.”

She climbed behind the wheel of their old, unreliable automobile and turned toward home. She admired Emmet’s devotion to his child. It reminded her of the love her father had lavished on her and her sisters. Louisa smiled as fond memories of her father filled her thoughts. Ellie was a fortunate child to know such love.

Not until she reached the turnoff did she remember that the fortunate child was also a defiant, uncooperative child. Tension grabbed the muscles of her shoulders and loosened tears. She let the car coast as she struggled to gain control.

Blinking back the moisture in her eyes, she looked at her home. Father had dreamed of operating a farm, growing crops and raising cows. But after he died and the Depression hit, the family had been forced to make sacrifices. They’d let most of the land go to the bank in exchange for the house, the outbuildings and a few acres. The Morgan family didn’t have much—their home, a barn, a cow, a calf and a reluctant garden—but it was so much more than many had. Over and over Louisa had observed families—beaten and broke—load their meager possessions to the sides and roof of their vehicle and drive away. Many couldn’t afford the gas for driving and left with bundles on their backs. She knew just how blessed she, her mother and her sisters were. Thank you, God, for allowing us to keep our home and stay together. Her illnesses brought further tightening of purse strings that were already pulled about as taut as they could go.

“I prayed for a job so I could help pay the bills. Lord, You provided one when there were none available. I am not going to accept defeat or complain that it’s hard.” She sent the car toward home at a faster pace.

Mother watched her approach from the window and came to the door as she stepped from the car. “You look exhausted. Come in and rest.” She twisted her apron in worried hands. “I’m afraid you will make yourself sick again.”

Louisa hugged her mother. “I’m fine. I have no intention of making myself sick. You can count on that.” Never again, if she had anything to say or do about it. She wouldn’t jeopardize her health. It was far too precious.

“How did your first day go?”

She longed to share her frustration with her mother, but she knew it would only worry her. “About as expected. We’re learning to adjust to each other.”

Sally stood in the kitchen doorway, her eyes watchful. Sally didn’t say much, but she saw a lot. Louisa could duck her head and avoid her sister’s keen gaze, or she could face her and let her try to guess what lay behind her words. She knew the latter was the easiest way to deal with Sally, so she smiled at her. “How was your day?”

“I’ve been busy. Clara and I went to the orphanage and put in a garden for them.”

“Good for you.” Ten to twelve children lived at the home on the hill. A barren spot without trees or flowers, but at least the children were housed and fed. They attended school and church and appeared happy enough.

Mother had lunch ready and they sat down to enjoy it. Afterward Mother went for a nap.

Sally waited until the bedroom door closed, then gave Louisa a demanding look. “Tell all. How did it really go?”

Louisa blew out a huge sigh. “Ellie refuses to learn.” She described the morning to her sister, including the part when Ellie made it sound as if Louisa wouldn’t let her go to the bathroom.

Sally drew back, looked shocked. “She sounds dreadful. Are you going back?”

“I’m not about to give up.”

“You’re stronger than I am. I wouldn’t be able to face such a situation.”

Louisa chuckled. “I’m not strong. You know that as well as I do.” Her thoughts darkened, but she refused to be controlled by her disappointment.

“You’re strong in a quiet way. Perhaps because you’ve had to fight to get over pneumonia and influenza.”

The darkness drew closer. The pain beckoned. But Louisa saw it for what it was—self-pity. And refused to open the door and invite it in. “I’m going to take that as a compliment.” She thought of Ellie. The child needed to learn how to make the best of her situation.

She’d return tomorrow and try again. She’d show Emmet she wasn’t unkind to his precious little girl.

“The kids at the orphanage are sweet. I’m going back after school is out with cookies for them. Why don’t you come with me?”

Louisa’s heart flopped in protest. See kids? The idea mocked her barrenness. “I don’t think—”

“I know what you’re going to say. You don’t want to be reminded you can’t have children of your own. But these kids will likely help you. They know how to enjoy life despite their loss and disappointment.”

Sally’s words stung. “Are you saying I don’t?”

Sally looked shocked. “I didn’t mean it like that. I only thought seeing them would cheer you up. You know…after dealing with a child who is feeling sorry for herself.”

“You might be right. I’ll go with you. I’ll even help you bake cookies.” Maybe she’d learn a thing or two about working with children who had suffered unfortunate events in their life that would help her deal with Ellie.

Somehow she had to prove to herself she could handle the job God had placed in her lap. But she wondered if He had more faith in her abilities than she did.

Over lunch Emmet listened to a litany of complaints from Ellie. Louisa was too harsh. She didn’t explain things well.

“I don’t think she likes me.”

Emmet chuckled. “What’s not to like? You’re a sweet, smart, funny little girl.” He hoped Louisa was right, and this resistance was only an adjustment period. Strange that Louisa and Ellie hadn’t struck it off right away. From his first look at Louisa, he’d thought her beautiful—not just in appearance but in a deeper way. Her beauty seemed to come from within.

He fisted the idea away. It didn’t matter what he thought of her. Only that she was kind to his daughter. He would tolerate nothing less.

He carried the lunch plates and glasses to the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee. A stack of dirty dishes waited to be washed. “I’ll sit with Ellie for a bit then clean up this mess.”

Auntie May shooed him away. “I do believe I can manage to wash a few dishes. Or at least let the cats lick them clean.”

“Leave them. I’ll do them later.” He did not want Ellie eating off cat-cleaned dishes.

Auntie May’s teasing chuckle made him realize he’d been tricked. “You’re joshing and I missed it.”

“You sure did. There was a time I’d have never gotten that past you.” She sobered. “I think you’ve grown far too serious.”

“Sometimes life isn’t a joking matter.” He headed for Ellie’s room.

“People should never forget to find and appreciate the good things God gives us.”

He paused to consider her. “I sometimes find it hard to believe in such.”

“And there lies your problem. Emmet, my dear boy, I’m not saying bad things don’t happen. I’m only saying you don’t need to let them steal away the good things too.”

He studied the words a moment but could find no personal truth in them. Except for one thing. “I have something I appreciate…Ellie.” He ducked into her room, a wide smile on his face as he planned to enjoy the afternoon with her. But her arms were flung above her head and she snored softly.

Suddenly the next few hours looked lonely and bleak. He returned to the kitchen.

Auntie May glanced over her shoulder where—he was relieved to see—she had a wash pan full of hot soapy water.

“She’s asleep.” He downed the lukewarm coffee Auntie May seemed to favor and yearned for a cup of strong, hot brew.

“Why don’t you have a look around town and see how the place has changed since you left? I’ll watch out for Ellie.”

“She’ll be bored.”

“Seems to me I can manage a little girl for an hour or two. Now shoo.”

So he “shooed,” right out the back door and down the lane that had once been his playground. He didn’t expect he would see any of the kids he’d grown up with. The girls would be married. And the boys who weren’t also married would be looking for work, perhaps riding the trains back and forth across the land.

He cut down a side avenue and ventured toward the main street. The buildings were familiar, even if they needed paint and repair. He stopped and stared. Mr. Smith’s fence had fallen down. Mr. Smith used to put a lot of stock in that fence. Emmet circled the corner of the lot and looked at the house. The door sagged. The windows were bare.

He saw a young man striding down the street and called out. “What happened to the Smith family?”

The man crossed to Emmet’s side. “They used to live here, didn’t they? They were gone before my time. But my wife said they lost everything in the crash and went to live with Mrs. Smith’s mother. No one has lived here since. Lots of empty houses around. Mostly abandoned by the occupants who could no longer make a living. Many have been taken by the bank because the mortgage payments were in default.”

The two had fallen into step and continued toward the heart of town. Emmet studied the businesses. “Sharp’s General Store. I remember them. There was a girl many grades below me…can’t remember her name.”

“Joanie?”

“That’s the one. I don’t suppose she’s still around? She’d be what? About nineteen or twenty.”

“She’s still around. I’m guessing you used to live here.”

Emmet explained how Auntie May was his guardian growing up. “I moved away nine years ago. Got married and have a little girl.”

“Welcome back home.”

Home. It had been once, but now? Truth be told, he didn’t know where home was anymore. Rather than try to answer the comment, he asked the man about himself. “Gather you’re a newcomer.”

“Recent. I’ve been here about a year. Judd Kirk. I married a pretty young gal from this area, and we bought a farm near town. It’s also near her home. Perhaps you know it—the Cotton place.”

“Sure, I know it. There were a couple kids in school with me. They’re gone, you say?” They’d arrived at the general store and trod indoors.

“Yup. Left the place lock, stock and barrel, which was handy for me.” Judd glanced around. “Why, here are my two sisters-in-law. Come and meet them.” Already Judd strode toward the young women.

Emmet stared. Louisa. He didn’t want to see her outside the hours she tutored Ellie. Anything more felt as if he’d crossed a mental barrier he erected around his life. But of course, in a town the size of Golden Prairie, they would naturally run into each other, unless he stayed within the boundaries of Auntie May’s house and yard. He’d done that for four days and found it stifling. Still, perhaps he could excuse himself on the pretext of urgent business. But too late. Judd led the young women toward Emmet. “My sisters-in-law, Louisa and Sally Morgan.”

“Louisa and I have already met. She’s tutoring my daughter.” Did he see the same flicker of regret over this meeting as he’d felt? The idea stung. Why should she want to avoid him? He shifted his gaze to the other girl, Sally, and greeted her.

Judd laughed. “It’s a small world. Or should I say it’s a small town.”

Louisa gave Judd a quick smile.

“Sally and I are preparing to make cookies to take to the orphanage. We needed raisins.”

“A tea party?” No mistaking the curious tone of Judd’s voice.

“Why don’t you pick up Madge and join us?” Sally offered.

This was obviously a family event. Emmet edged away.

Judd stopped him. “Why don’t you come along too?”

“I can’t.”

“Bring your daughter. She’ll enjoy it.”

Sally groaned. “Judd, the reason Louisa is tutoring his daughter is because Ellie is bedridden in a body cast. She can’t join us.”

Judd grabbed Emmet’s shoulder. “Right. That would be who I made the tripod for. Oh, man, I am so sorry. That’s tough on a little girl.”

“Thanks.”

“Good thing you have Louisa to tutor her. Couldn’t ask for anyone better.”

“Judd.” Louisa tried to stop her brother-in-law, but he ignored her.

“She knows what it’s like to have to stay in bed. I admire how she’s handled her illnesses so well. I think I’d want to moan and groan and feel sorry for myself. But not Louisa—”

Judd leaned close to Emmet and chuckled. “Don’t be fooled by her looks. She’s a fighter.”

Emmet watched the pair of sisters gather up their small parcel and head for the door.

Sally whispered something to Louisa and hung back. Louisa grabbed her arm and pushed her forward. Louisa paused before they exited and gave Judd a demanding look. “You’ll let Madge know right away so she can get ready?”

Judd laughed. “I’ll get on it immediately.” The look he gave Emmet burgeoned with amusement, and he lowered his voice to a whisper. “I better say goodbye or face the wrath of three sisters, because if one is offended they’re all offended. Sure you can’t come along? You know—to give me a little moral support?”

“Judd, are you coming?” Louisa’s voice was sweet and inviting, but Emmet saw the way Judd jerked to attention and guessed that beneath the gentleness lay solid, unyielding bedrock.

“Sorry, I can’t leave my daughter.” He liked the man and wished they could spend more time together. He missed company beyond Auntie May and Ellie. “Why don’t you drop by when you get a chance?”

Judd gave him a considering look. “I just might do that. Right now I better go find my wife and tell her of her sisters’ plans.” He hurried after Sally and Louisa.

The store felt empty when the trio left. Emmet gave himself a mental kick. He was used to being alone, out in the open, riding the range, working with cows. Company—and companionship—was sporadic and fleeting. So why should it bother him to be left behind? He must be getting befuddled.

He crossed to the candy selection, chose a red-and-white peppermint stick, paid for it and left the store. Ellie would be awake soon, and the candy would brighten her afternoon.

But later, as he sat beside his daughter, watching her suck the peppermint stick, the rest of the day stretched before him, as endless as the vast horizon. The only break in sight was Louisa’s return in the morning.

For Ellie’s sake only. The hours must be even longer for her.