Читать книгу A Texas Holiday Miracle - Linda Warren - Страница 11
ОглавлениеGabe tuned out the woman. He had no desire to talk to her or anyone. He didn’t understand why she couldn’t respect his privacy. When Jack was alive, Gabe had had no problems. Now the kid was out of control and the woman had no idea how to handle her. Both of them had tried his patience for the last time. He would nail the gate shut without a second thought.
He opened the back door and then picked up Pepper, bed and all, and carried her inside. She was getting too weak to walk. As he placed her by the sofa he noticed she was trembling in pain. Gritting his teeth, he knew he had to give her another shot. He went into the kitchen and got the medication the vet had given him. After giving her an injection, he stroked her until she drifted into sleep.
Sinking back onto the sofa, he drew a long breath. The vet had said it was time to put Pepper down. She was in too much pain from cancer, but she had been Zack’s dog and he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He looked at all the pictures of Zack he had hung on the walls. His son was in this room. He was everywhere. And Gabe had to take care of the dog his son had loved.
He rested his head on the back of the sofa and closed his eyes. The moment he did he saw his laughing, happy son and pain pierced his heart. Pain was all he felt these days. Life meant nothing to him. He couldn’t understand how fate could be so cruel as to take a child from his parents. Gabe didn’t know right from wrong anymore, and it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he remembered his son every moment of every day.
That was the only thing that kept him going.
* * *
THE NEXT MORNING Lacey let Emma sleep in. Last night, they hadn’t talked because Lacey was too upset. She had scolded Emma and put her to bed early.
Lacey was making breakfast when Emma trudged in and climbed onto the bar stool. Smoke spiraled from the toaster and the alarm went off, shrilling loud enough to wake the neighborhood.
“Not again.” Emma buried her face in her hands.
Lacey pulled off her sneaker and threw it at the smoke alarm. The device flew off and landed in the kitchen sink, causing the deafening sound to stop. The blackened toast popped up at the same time.
Emma looked through her fingers. “You’re gonna kill us, Lacey.”
She opened the window to let the smoke out. “I have everything under control,” she said, hoping she sounded convincing. Inside, she was shaking and wondering how a twenty-eight-year-old woman could be so hopeless in the kitchen.
She threw the burned slices of bread in the garbage and put four more in the toaster. Stupid smoke alarm wasn’t stopping her.
“You have to know when to push up the lever,” Emma told her. “Daddy knew.”
Next trip to town Lacey was buying a new toaster. She was tired of fooling with this relic. While she watched the bread, she slipped her sneaker back on. Just as the slices were starting to burn, she pushed up the lever, and then buttered the toast, added grape jelly and placed it on the plate with the scrambled eggs.
“Breakfast,” she said, sliding it in front of Emma with a smile.
Emma rolled her eyes. “Now we don’t have a smoke alarm.”
“I’ll get the ladder and put it back after breakfast. Nothing I can’t handle.”
Emma ate her breakfast and Lacey munched on a piece of toast. Nothing like starting the day with a little excitement. She hoped Gabe hadn’t heard the alarm. She had a feeling he didn’t hear much of anything besides the demons in his head.
Brushing hair from her face, Emma asked, “Are you mad at me?”
Lacey knew Emma was talking about last night. “You disobeyed me.”
Emma swallowed a mouthful of egg. “Mr. Gabe doesn’t mean it when he says for me not to come into his yard.”
“Emma, sweetie, yes, he does.”
“But I hear Pepper and I have to go.”
Lacey sighed. “Pepper is not our dog, and we have to respect Mr. Gabe’s privacy. Do you understand that?”
Emma shook her head.
Lacey was all out of options. She’d just have to watch Emma more closely. She clapped her hands to brighten the moment. “Today we get the Christmas tree. Daddy always got it the Saturday after Thanksgiving.”
“There’s no Santa Claus, Lacey!” Emma shouted. “We don’t need a Christmas tree!”
“Well, I still believe in Christmas, and I’m putting up a tree right in front of the windows in the living room.”
“I’m not looking at it.” Emma jumped off the bar stool.
“You don’t have to.” It broke Lacey’s heart that Emma was being so adamant about this. Maybe if she kept pushing, Emma would start to believe again. There was no Christmas without the magic of belief. Somehow, Lacey had to find a way to put a little more of that good stuff in their lives. “Go get dressed while I put our dishes in the dishwasher.”
Lacey managed to reattach the smoke alarm. The green light came on, so she felt sure it was working and ready for the next round.
* * *
THE CHRISTMAS TREE lot was off the square in Horseshoe. People were out and about searching for the perfect tree.
“I’m not looking,” Emma told her.
Lacey didn’t say anything. She got out of the car and walked around, inspecting the trees. Soon Emma was right beside her. It was taking a while, but Lacey was learning parenting tricks.
She picked out a seven-foot Douglas fir and had the man put a stand on it. Then he tied it on to the top of her SUV.
While they were waiting, a little girl came over and said something to Emma. To Lacey’s shock, Emma frowned and kicked at her with her sneaker. The little girl ran back to her father, who was measuring a tree.
This wasn’t the place to discipline Emma. She’d wait until they got home. Lacey didn’t know if she had the strength or the capabilities to continue to deal with this kind of behavior. But she would keep trying.
As they pulled into their driveway, Lacey saw Gabe in his front yard digging up a shrub that had died. The black knit cap he wore on his head gave him a dangerous, fierce look. He didn’t even raise his head as they got out. He just kept digging.
Before Lacey could stop her, Emma darted over to Gabe. Lacey wanted to pull out her hair. This was turning out to be the worst day ever. She ran behind Emma and caught her just before she reached the man.
“Whatcha doing?” Emma asked.
Lacey took her hand and led her back toward their house without saying a word to the man who was glaring at them.
“You disobeyed me again. Go into the house and sit on the sofa until I get there. And do not turn on the TV. Do you understand me?”
Emma nodded and stomped toward the front door. Lacey unlocked it and Emma went inside. First, Lacey had to get the tree off the SUV, and then she would deal with her sister.
She grabbed a pair of scissors and the kitchen stool. She cut the strings off the tree and tried to lift it from the SUV, but soon found she couldn’t. The stool gave her some height, but not enough for her to hoist the heavy tree. The branches scratched her face and she said a cuss word under her breath. How was she going to get the tree off the car?
* * *
GABE KEPT DIGGING, trying to ignore the crazy lady on the rickety kitchen stool. She was going to fall and break her neck, but it was none of his concern. She stood on tiptoes and tried to heave it off, but to no avail. The woman was a menace. Her smoke alarm went off regularly. He’d heard it that morning. Evidently, she couldn’t cook. The stool wobbled and she grabbed the car to keep from falling.
Do not help. Do not help.
The warning in his head was clear, and he always obeyed it because he didn’t want to interact with anyone. But even he had a breaking point. He propped the shovel against the house and walked over.
With one gloved hand he gripped the tree trunk and lifted it from the SUV.
“Oh...oh...” she stammered, almost falling off the stool again.
“Where do you want this?” he snapped.
“Uh...” She climbed off the stool and headed for the front door. “In here.”
Inside the house she pointed to the living room windows. He placed the tree in the spot.
“Hi, Mr. Gabe,” the little girl said from the sofa.
He didn’t want to engage in conversation, so he left. On his way back to his house, he cursed himself. He didn’t want to get involved, and helping the crazy lady was a sure way for that to happen. He was trying desperately to keep his privacy, and he’d probably just made a big mistake.
That suffocating feeling came over him, and he went into the house to check on Pepper. She was better this morning and had even trotted outside to do her business. The shots always helped for a while. How he wished they could last longer. Soon he’d have to make a decision, and it was tearing him up inside. He just couldn’t let go.
He wasn’t sure what he was afraid of. The vet had said it was the best thing for the dog, but how could killing something be good? If he did what the vet had suggested, it would be like letting go of Zack all over again.
Some things were just too painful to endure twice.
* * *
LACEY WAS STUNNED. The Grouch had helped. She was still trying to digest that. Maybe things would change. Maybe he would be friendlier. And maybe she would sprout wings and fly. Oh, yeah. Gabe Garrison had not changed. She had no idea why he had helped, and he probably had none, either.
She had other important matters to take care of. For the first time, she’d become aware of how Emma brightened when Gabe was around. She’d formed a connection with him and Pepper.
Their father had raised Emma. Mona had died six months after Emma’s birth. While Mona had been pregnant, the doctors had discovered cancer. Mona had refused any treatment until after the baby was born, but by then the aggressive cancer had spread. She hadn’t lasted long.
Emma was more comfortable around men, and she’d somehow transferred that need for a father figure to Gabe. That was why Emma kept saying Gabe didn’t mean what he said. Another problem. Lacey had too many to deal with. She’d tackle the most pressing first.
“Mr. Gabe brought our tree in,” Emma said, her eyes bright. It didn’t escape Lacey that Emma had said our. Maybe Lacey was winning her over.
She knelt in front of Emma, who sat on the sofa. “Why did you disobey me again? You’re not supposed to go into Gabe’s yard.”
Emma twisted her hands. “I forgot and I wanted to see what he was doing.”
“Emma...”
“Really. I forgot.”
Lacey had a feeling she was fighting a losing battle about Gabe and his privacy, so she decided to tackle another problem. “What did the little girl at the tree lot say to you?”
Emma looked down at her hands. “She said hi.”
“Then why did you kick at her?”
“’Cause I don’t like her.”
“Why? She seemed real nice and she was there with her daddy....” Lacey’s voice trailed off as something occurred to her. “You don’t like her because she has a daddy and you don’t.”
From the shattered look in Emma’s eyes, Lacey knew she was right. She wanted to stand up and do a jig. She’d gotten it right. Maybe parenting didn’t come through the birth canal. Maybe it was trial and error.
She sat next to Emma. “You have a father, and he loved you more than life itself. You do know that, don’t you?”
“But he’s not here.” The little voice wavered. “Why did my daddy have to go?”
Lacey gathered her into her arms. “I don’t know, sweetie. I wish I had an answer that would make you feel better, but I don’t. Sometimes bad things happen in life, and we have to adjust and go on. That’s what Daddy wanted for you, and you promised him you wouldn’t be sad.”
“I miss Daddy,” Emma cried.
“I do, too.” Lacey held her sister and hoped by talking she could ease some of her pain. “Close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
Emma scrunched her eyes together.
“Now, can you see Daddy? Try to see him.”
“I can. I can see Daddy.”
Lacey held her tighter. “Is he smiling?”
“Yes. He’s smiling at me.” Emma’s voice grew excited.
“When you’re feeling lonely and when you think other children have a daddy and you don’t, just close your eyes and your daddy is right there. Always. And I’m right here. Always.”
Emma leaned away. “Are you mad at me?” It was Emma’s stock question when she’d done something wrong.
Lacey kissed her forehead. “No, sweetie. I’m not mad at you. But the next time that little girl says hi to you, I want you to say hi back. I do not want you kicking at anyone. Understand?”
Emma nodded.
“I’ll call Sharon and see if Jimmy can come over and play for a while.”
Emma jumped up. “Oh, boy! I’ll get my Legos out.”
And just like that the morning turned around. For the time being.
Jimmy came over. Lacey made them peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches for lunch, and then they returned to building stuff in the living room. As Lacey wiped the counter, she heard banging. And it was close. He wouldn’t!
She ran outside and pushed on the gate, but it wouldn’t budge. She used her body and shoved with all her might, and still the gate wouldn’t move. Damn him! She wasn’t going to let Gabe get away with this.
Back in the house, she hollered to the kids, “I’m going outside.”
“’Kay,” Emma shouted back.
Lacey went into the garage and found a hammer. Then she grabbed the kitchen stool that was still by the car and marched around to the fence between Gabe’s and their house. She stepped up on the ladder and then vaulted over. Misjudging the height, she landed on her butt. She was winded for a moment, but she still had the hammer in her hand.
Getting to her feet, she took a long breath and marched to the gate. A large board was nailed across it. She tried to pry it away with the hammer, but she wasn’t strong enough. Damn! She kicked at the gate. Frustrated, she sank to the ground with her back against it.
“What are you doing?”
She looked up into the brooding eyes of the dark knight. Every time she looked at his sad face, she wanted to apologize or try to make him feel better, like she did Emma. But sometimes there was no way to make things better.
She staggered to her feet. “I was trying to pry the board away, but you nailed it securely. I hope you’re happy.”
Gabe just stared at her, his dark eyes orbs of never-ending sadness.
“She’s a little girl and she doesn’t understand. And I don’t understand how you can be so cruel. How would you feel if someone had done this to your son?”
He turned as white as the fluffy clouds over his head, and Lacey thought he was going to pass out. Still, she wasn’t in a relenting mood.
“If it makes you happy to keep the gate closed and us out, then by all means leave it nailed up. One day you’re going to have to face the outside world and maybe even have to explain how you could hurt a six-year-old child. Your son would be so disappointed in you. Emma’s made a connection to you and Pepper, but I will do my damnedest to keep her away. So be happy, Mr. Gabe Garrison. You just secured your privacy.”
After saying that, she marched back to the fence and realized there was no way to get over it without the stool, which was on the other side.
Not willing to lose face, she stormed around his house and to the double gates on the other side. Stomping across his front yard, she realized she still had the hammer in her hand. What had she done? She’d traumatized a man who was barely hanging on emotionally.
Placing the hammer back in her father’s toolbox, she knew she had to apologize. Later, though, when she wasn’t fuming.
Gabe was so locked within himself he probably hadn’t even heard what she’d said. She’d take time to cool off and then she would try to make amends. If that was possible.
She was so tired of dealing with grief and pain that she wanted to scream. There had to be a glimmer of happiness somewhere, and she intended to find it for Emma. And for herself.
But for Gabe, happiness was in his rearview mirror. And the road ahead was strewn with heartache and pain. Hope was something he didn’t even want or desire. Inside, he was already as dead as his son.