Читать книгу A Child's Gift - Linda Warren - Страница 14

CHAPTER THREE

RICO DROVE STEADILY toward Rebel Ranch, trying to keep his thoughts at bay. He’d left this morning with hope and excitement in his chest. Now he was just numb with the words ex-con running through his brain. He knew Mrs. Wiznowski didn’t like him, but this was the first time he’d heard her say it and with such venom that it shook his stony composure.

It was a brutal awakening he hadn’t expected. He was letting himself dream about a life with Anamarie and he knew now that was never going to happen. The Wiznowskis were a tight-knit family and she would never go against them.

He’d never thought much about love until he came to live with the Rebel family. He’d loved his great-grandma. Familial love he was familiar with, but the man/woman thing eluded him. After what he’d been through, he never thought it would happen for him. He saw all the Rebel boys fall in love and get married. As he watched all that happiness, he began to yearn for something of his own. A family of his own.

He was afraid he would never be able to feel the emotion. Or even recognize it. Not many women wanted to spend time with a man who had a scar across the side of his face, wore a long ponytail and had been in jail. He was used to that, until he’d met the lady at the bakery. She smiled at him, treated him nicely and made him want to go back just to spend a few moments with her.

Then one day he went in late to the bakery while Anamarie was closing up. She quickly pulled the shades down and locked the door. He was confused and thought he should leave until she said she’d saved some kolaches for Pete, Egan’s dog. Then she offered him a glass of iced tea and they began to talk. As she was talking about her day, the rubber band around her topknot broke and her long hair had tumbled down around her. She’d laughed and immediately tried to put it back up, but he’d stopped her.

People tended to ignore her, but when he’d looked into her blue eyes that day, he received a jolt. The bright blue reminded him of the sky and what lay beyond. He figured God had checked out on him a long time ago, but that day he knew Anamarie was as close to heaven as he was ever going to get.

Love was that precarious thing all the Rebel boys talked about, but they had a hard time recognizing it. So he was surprised he could actually label his feelings: he loved her. Looking into her eyes, he saw it bright and clear. He had no idea how it had happened. He liked talking to her, being with her, but he never had the courage to tell her how he felt. And now he never would. Some things just weren’t meant to be.

He glanced back at Dusty who was sound asleep in the car seat. Luckily Rico had two car seats in the back. He kept Egan’s kids, Justin and Jordan, on date night.

He would weather this like all the other heartaches he’d been through. But he had to admit this cut a little deeper because it had taken a little piece of his heart.

ANAMARIE DROVE AROUND for a little while to cool down. If she went home, she was afraid her whole family would be there with their opinions of what she’d done. It was her decision and she wasn’t backing down now even if her family begged and pleaded, which she knew they would do. No one wanted to go in at three in the morning to make kolaches. Since her mother had gotten older, the responsibility had fallen onto Anamarie’s shoulders. There was only so much Anamarie was willing to take, though.

Riding around she realized what she was doing: avoiding a showdown. Time was up. She had to stand strong. She drove into the driveway of her home, her very own home. When Angie had come home from Temple with her daughter, Erin, she’d bought the house to keep their mother from controlling Angie’s and Erin’s every move, a decision that had infuriated their mother.

Later Angie had married Erin’s father, Hardy Hollister, and she’d put the house on the market. Anamarie had decided then it was time for her to move out of her parents’ home. Of course, her mother had fought it all the way and there was tension for several months until her mother had accepted it. It had been a lifesaver. She had her own space and peace and quiet.

Parking in the garage, she made sure to put the door down, and went inside to wait for the onslaught. It didn’t take long. Angie was the first to arrive, then the twins, Patsy and Peggy, and then Bubba. Her dad was the last to trail in.

Everyone talked at once like angry birds chirping in her face and Anamarie wanted to scream. She raised her hands and said, “Let me make this clear. I am not going back. Someone else will have to make the kolaches from now on. I made this decision and I’m not changing my mind.”

“Who’s gonna do the baking then?” Patsy asked.

“How about you?” Anamarie countered.

“Me! Most mornings I have to be at the shop by eight. There’s no way I’m going in to make kolaches. I didn’t like it when I had to do it and I’m not doing it now.”

“Don’t look at me,” Peggy said. “I have the same schedule as Patsy. And I do have a boyfriend, you know. I don’t want to spend my extra time in the bakery.”

Peggy was dating Stuart, the deputy. It was getting serious.

Everyone looked at Angie. “Oh, please.” Angie rolled her eyes. “I’m not leaving my family before three in the morning to make kolaches.”

Anamarie thought about her family and how the situation would affect them. She hated that she had a soft heart, but she was well aware of how her family used her.

Her eyes centered on Bubba. “Do you realize how hard it is on me when Margie doesn’t come into work? I have to do everything myself and it’s really stressful.”

Bubba shifted in his chair. “We were up late and she forgot to set the alarm clock. Sorry, sis.”

“And that’s okay?” She lifted an eyebrow, letting some of the anger show in her voice. “You’re supposed to be a responsible adult, but I don’t see much of it when you let your sister do double the work.”

“Come on, sis. You know you love that bakery.”

“That’s a cop out, Bubba.”

“Okay, I’ll do better.”

“I don’t care if you do better. It’s too late. I’m not going back.” She looked around at their anxious faces. “Has Mom told you why I’m not going back?”

“She said you left the bakery with no one there to help the customers and when she called you on it, you were very rude and walked out.” Patsy was very quick to quote their mother.

Anamarie shook her head. “Oh, no, that’s not what happened.” She told them about Dusty and Jericho. “She was upset because I was with Jericho and that I let Jericho into the bakery before six. She forbade me to see him or to let him into the bakery before opening. She said she owned it and I had to do what she wanted. That’s what happened.”

“You’re seeing Jericho?” Patsy high-fived Peggy. “Now that’s a story. When did this happen?”

“Don’t encourage her,” Bubba said. “Mom doesn’t want her seeing him and it’s causing trouble within the family.”

Anamarie laughed. “A typical momma’s boy. You won’t marry Margie because she’s been divorced and that’s frowned on by the Catholic Church and your momma. You’re weak, Bubba.”

“Wait a minute.” Bubba got to his feet with a scowl. “Why are you picking on me?”

“Because you’re controlled by your mother. We all are,” Anamarie told him. “Well, as of today, I’m not. I plan to see Jericho anytime I want and that means someone has to open the bakery and make the kolaches.”

Willard, their father, stood. “Anamarie, why don’t you come over to the house tonight and talk to your mom. Everyone else has jobs they need to go to and I’m sure you and your mother can work this out. You know she tends to say a lot of things she doesn’t mean.”

There it was. The guilt trip. This time it wasn’t working. “You mean you want me to apologize. Like always.”

“Well, you know how your mother is. She’s bullheaded and overreacts about everything. Take some time to cool off and come talk to your mom.”

She shook her head. “No. I’m not doing that this time. I’m serious.”

“That bakery is your life,” her father reminded her and that made her that much more determined.

“It shouldn’t be. I deserve a life just like everyone else. You have a son and a daughter who moved away because Mom tried to manipulate their lives. And they rarely come home. We all deserve our own lives. So this time, Mom has to be the one to give. She has to realize she can’t control us all the time. I’ve had enough.”

“Good heavens. This is going to be like a category five hurricane.” He picked up his baseball cap. “I guess I’ll go home and look for shelter.”

“Have you ever thought of telling her how you feel?” Anamarie asked.

“No, I gave up on that a long time ago. Peace is my goal every day and you kids are making it very hard by suddenly growing up.”

As he walked out the door, the room became quiet. The siblings dealt with their own thoughts and Anamarie thought she should just give up. It was like beating her head against a wall. She was doing nothing but hurting herself. Then again, she could see Jericho’s face and it gave her strength.

“Jericho, huh?” Patsy mused. “You go for the dark mysterious kind.”

Peggy slapped her arm. “This is serious. Stop kidding around.”

Patsy flung a hand toward Anamarie. “That’s why she’s leaving. Because of him, isn’t it?”

“Do you know what it’s like to hear every day that I can’t run the bakery as well as she can, that I’m slow and incompetent and talk too much to the customers? And if I would just fix myself up and lose some weight, I could attract a decent man? Every day it’s the same thing. Criticism after criticism. How in the world does anyone see that as love?”

“Anamarie...” Angie got up and sat on the arm of Anamarie’s chair.

“When Jericho first started coming in, I spoke to him because no one else would. I found that he’s a very nice man. He has the darkest, warmest eyes I’ve ever seen. Just looking into them I feel as if I’m sitting in front of a fire, all warm and cozy. He makes me feel good about myself and over the years we’ve grown closer. We talk a lot. He makes me laugh and he listens to what I have to say. He tells me I’m beautiful and I don’t need to lose any weight. He tells me I’m perfect the way I am. Do you know what it’s like to hear that after all the criticism?”

Again, there was silence in the room.

Anamarie cleared her throat. “I’m forty now and maybe I’m yearning for something I will never have, but I deserve a chance at love just like all of you. I know it’s going to be hard and I regret that.”

Angie rubbed her arm. “I’m sorry the responsibility for the bakery has landed on your shoulders. That’s been very inconsiderate of us. Yes, you deserve a life and we’ll all pitch in and help.”

“I’d appreciate that, and Margie knows how to make the kolaches. She just needs someone there to help her. Judy is there, but we’d need another person, too. It can work.”

“What about the family recipe Mom doesn’t want anyone to know?” Peggy asked.

“Margie knows it. She watches me every morning and that secret has been out for a lot of years. Mom just doesn’t know it.”

“Mom will insist on going into the bakery if you’re not there,” Bubba said. “Margie has a hard time working with her.”

“Welcome to my life,” Anamarie quipped.

“Well, that’s settled.” Patsy raised a hand. “Who’s in favor of Margie baking the kolaches and hiring someone to help her?”

Everyone raised a hand.

“But we need someone there today to help,” Peggy said.

“You guys work it out.” Anamarie got to her feet. “I have things to do.” She told them about Dusty and how she’d agreed to help.

“Have you told Jericho?” Patsy pressed.

A pain pierced her chest. “No. It’s not something we’ve talked about.”

“You’re scared,” Peggy said. “But if he’s the man you say he is, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

But it had always been a problem. The Wiznowski secret her mother wanted no one to know. But Anamarie carried it like a badge on her chest and every day it made her feel less of a woman. Less of a person. But no more. If she wanted a life with Jericho, she had to be honest and forthright and strong enough to handle his reaction.

After this morning, though, she had to wonder if he even wanted to see her.

RICO DROVE ACROSS the cattle guard to Rebel Ranch. It was one of the biggest ranches in Texas with miles and miles of ranchland. To the left was the big two-story log house John Rebel had built for his wife, Kate. About a hundred yards behind the house was a smaller log house which they called the homeplace. It had been the first Rebel home. Paxton and his wife, Remi, lived there now with their daughter, Annie. Not far from the house was an old white clapboard hosue that belonged to Grandpa Rebel. Grandpa didn’t stay there much. He had a room at Elias’s and slept there most of the time.

About half a mile to the right, through a coastal pasture filled with paint horses, was Quincy’s house where he lived with his wife, Jenny, and their two daughters. Their third child was due in two months and this time it was a boy. A lot of babies had been born on the ranch recently. Jude’s wife was expecting their third and it was a girl.

Jude, Phoenix and Egan had built homes for their families miles down Rebel Road. Falcon lived across the road from Miss Kate’s house. He was the oldest and took over as head of the family when John Rebel had died. He and his mother ran the ranch together. Falcon had taken over completely when Miss Kate had health problems, but she was fine now and nothing was done without her approval.

The barns, office and cow pens were on the right. When Rico’d first come here, he’d been in awe of the big ranch and didn’t know how he would fit in. But it had been easy as everyone accepted him without question. He’d learned to cowboy, herd and brand cattle, fix fences and bale hay. As much as he tried to stay to himself, the Rebels kept pulling him in, inviting him to family gatherings and on the holidays. After what Miss Kate had done for him, he would never refuse. But a part of him held back, not willing to believe they’d accepted him as one of the family.

Falcon and Miss Kate’s trucks were at the office. He picked up his cell and called to tell them about Dusty. As he’d expected, they said to take all the time he needed.

When he stopped at the bunkhouse, Dusty woke up and looked around. Rico thought he might cry but he didn’t. He pointed to the pasture where horses grazed. “Horse.”

“Yeah. Are you hungry?”

“No. But I like hot dogs. You got some?”

“You bet.” Rico got the boy out of the truck and carried him and the duffel bag into the house. Mickey trotted around looking at his new surroundings and occasionally barking at the horses.

“Toys!” Dusty shouted as they entered the bunkhouse, and ran to the toy box in the corner that Rico kept for Justin and Jordy. He grabbed a truck out of the box and pushed it around on the hardwood floor. Rico watched him for a moment. Dusty was happy for now, but he knew that wouldn’t last long.

Rico set the duffel bag on the sofa and found some pull-up pants and a T-shirt. “Time for bath.”

Dusty came without a murmur. The little boy was filthy from his hair to his shoes. Sand was even in his socks. Rico scrubbed his hair and had him clean in no time. After he was dressed, Dusty ran back to the toys. He played for a little while and fell asleep on the floor. Rico picked him up and carried him to the bed. Mickey jumped on the bed and curled up by the boy. Rico watched them for a moment and then went back to the living room and sank into his chair.

He held his head in his hands and wondered what he’d gotten himself into. Foster homes were a dirty term to him and he couldn’t let that little boy be put in one after losing his grandmother. Tomorrow CPS could take him away and do exactly that. Rico wouldn’t be able to stop it, but for today he would be there for Dusty.

He got up and started making the hot dogs. He needed something healthy for the kid, but all he had was chips. And milk. That was healthy. He’d have to go to the grocery store to get food for tonight. As he poured milk into a glass, Dusty cried out. Rico made a dive for the bedroom.

Dusty sat up crying, holding on to Mickey.

“Hey, hey, little buddy, what’s wrong?”

“I want my grandma.”

Rico gathered him into his arms to comfort him and then carried him into the living room. Sitting in his recliner, Rico patted Dusty’s back. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

Dusty wiped his face on Rico’s shirt and looked at him. Rico realized for the first time that the boy’s eyes were as dark as his.

“Where’s my grandma?”

“She’s in heaven.”

Dusty twisted his hands, thinking. “With Jesus?”

“Yes.”

“What she doing?”

Rico swallowed, trying to be patient. “She’s looking down at you and hoping you’re not sad. She wants you to be happy.”

Dusty buried his face against Rico’s chest.

To get the boy’s mind on something else, Rico said, “Are you hungry?”

“’Kay.”

Dusty ate a whole hot dog and drank a glass of milk. Rico also made Mickey a plate. Afterward Rico took Dusty back to the chair, trying to find a way to cheer him up.

“Were you scared walking around in the dark last night?”

“No.” Dusty shook his head. “I had Mickey. He’s a monster. He would protect me.”

Rico looked down at the sleeping dog that looked more like a timid rabbit. But it was what Dusty thought that mattered.

“What made you leave the house?”

“Mickey and me were hungry and we walked to the grocery store where Grandma gets food. It’s not far from our house and...I...I had my money in my pocket, but it was closed.” As he talked he twisted his hands and his eyes were dark and serious. “Then we went where we get all the good stuff...and...and...” He seemed to run out of words and rested his head on Rico’s chest once again. “Where’s my grandma?” he mumbled.

Rico rubbed his back. “I told you, buddy.”

“No!” Dusty’s eyes grew darker as he looked toward the windows and the sky. “I don’t mean there. I mean where is she now?”

Rico had no idea what he was talking about and was clueless about what to say. He wanted to console him and help him but his words were useless. Rubbing his back again, he said, “Tell me what you mean.”

“I have to say goodbye to Grandma.”

Rico searched for words once again. “Buddy...”

“When...when...” he twisted his hands in agitation “...when Mr. Kovar died, Grandma said we had to say goodbye. We...we...went to a place and Mr. Kovar was in a big box. Grandma lifted me up so I could say goodbye.” His bottom lip trembled. “I have to say goodbye to Grandma.”

Rico could do nothing but wrap his arms around the little boy who seemed more mature than a normal four-year-old. He didn’t understand what was happening. He just knew he had to say goodbye like his grandmother had taught him. Rico now wondered if he should take Dusty to the funeral home. Would it help him? Or would it traumatize him?

He needed a woman’s advice. He could call Miss Kate. She’d be more than willing to help, but another woman’s face was in his mind. Anamarie. She would know what to do and she could help Dusty with his grieving. But did he call her? Or just let her go?

Dusty slid from his lap. He pulled a tractor from the box and started pushing it around on the floor.

Rico reached for his phone in his pocket. He had her number. All he had to do was call. But it was a lot more complicated than that. His goal ever since he stepped out of a Huntsville prison was to live a quiet and peaceful life. If he called Anamarie, it would be anything but peaceful. Mrs. Wiznowski would make Anamarie’s life hell. And he would never do that to her. But then, there was Dusty, grieving, needing someone desperately. He shoved the phone back into his pocket just as a knock sounded at the door.

Dusty’s head jerked up.

“We’ve got company,” Rico said in as bright of a voice as he could manage. Bright wasn’t in his nature. It was probably Miss Kate or one of the Rebels. It might do Dusty good to see other people. He stepped over toys to get to the door and opened it.

Anamarie stood there.

Several strands of her blond hair had come loose from her topknot and curled around her flushed face. Her eyes were hesitant and filled with worry. He had never wanted to hurt her, but that’s exactly what had happened.

“May I come in?” Her anxiety showed in her voice and he had to be strong.

“I... I don’t think that’s a good idea.”