Читать книгу The Baby Bond - Linda Goodnight - Страница 9

“I remember you,” she said, trying to reconcile the helpful firefighter with the Notorious Nic she remembered.

He’d dated half the girls in her sorority house. All at once. Nic Carano, the fun-loving life of the party who went through girlfriends faster than frat boys through a keg of beer. She’d been very careful to be sure she wasn’t one of them.

Nic was not her kind of man. If she had a kind. Unfortunately, building her career in graphic design left her little time to date. If she did, it would not be a man like Notorious Nic, no matter how nice-looking and charming he seemed.

The door swished open and a nurse attired in blue scrubs appeared with a bottle, patted Alex’s head and disappeared again. As if she had a clue what she was doing, Cassidy tilted the baby into a cradle hold and slid the nipple into his squalling mouth. Alex shoved back, twisting his head, fighting the strange silicone.

“You look familiar to me, too.” Apparently unperturbed by Alex’s crying, Nic went on talking as he pushed a chair behind Cassidy’s knees. Gratefully, Cassidy slid onto the seat. She hadn’t realized she was still standing. “College maybe?”

Cassidy nodded. “Kappa Kappa.”

“Oh yeah.” He grinned. “My favorite sorority. You lived there?”

He asked as if he were puzzled, as if he hadn’t dated her so how could she have lived in the Kappa Kappa House.

For one thing, she’d been too focused. For another, she’d been too smart to get involved with a man who was all charm and no substance. Though loath to admit it, her social life had been limited to a few shallow, quickly fading relationships, a couple of them regrettable. The Lord had forgiven her, but she was taking no chances on making the same mistakes again. Handsome, charming, shallow men were off-limits.

Alex grew frustrated and thrashed in howling protest. Cassidy jiggled the bottle, trying to calm him. She’d had no idea feeding a hungry baby could be this difficult.

“Come on, sugar. I know it’s different, but you’ll get the hang of it.”

She tried again, sliding the nipple onto his tongue. He jerked away, pushing at her hand.

“Want me to try?” Nic held out his arms. “I’ve got a little experience.”

“You do?” Now that was a shocker.

He winked. “Trust me. I’m amazing.”

Right. Trust him. How many girls had heard that line? Trusting Nic was the last thing on her agenda. In fact, the sooner Fireman Fun and Games disappeared, the better. She had enough to deal with.

“I appreciate all you’ve done, Nic. Really.” She jiggled Alex harder. “But you must be exhausted. I can handle things from here. You look like you could sleep for a week.”

Alex screamed, a cry that would bring police, and fire and rescue in any other setting.

Fire and rescue was already here, holding out his arms, with a funny little quirk at the corner of his mouth.

If Nic comprehended her efforts to get rid of him, he didn’t show it.

“Come on. Let me try. Me and the little dude are buddies. I can sleep when I’m dead.”

The word dead lingered between them, harsh and dark. The night’s tragedy slipped back into the room. As though water flowed through her veins instead of blood, Cassidy’s arms went weak.

What was she going to do without Janna? What was Alex going to do without a mother who knew how to soothe him when he cried?

“Hey,” Nic said, his voice soft and concerned. She raised her eyes to his and he must have seen her helplessness. Without asking again, he took Alex from her.

Cassidy sat, limp and devastated, trying to think of anything except that ugly word—dead. Her head was like an echo chamber bouncing the word back a thousand times. Dead, dead, dead.

Swallowing a cry of anguish, she focused on Nic Carano, cradling her nephew against his chest as if holding a baby was the most natural thing in the world.

Did that mean Nic Carano was now married with children? That the wild and crazy jokester without a care in the world was not only a firefighter, he was a dad?

The image didn’t fit. The party boy she remembered did not have either “responsibility” or “settle down” anywhere in his vocabulary.

Right now, however, he was using his charm to convince Alex to accept the unfamiliar bottle. He pressed a dab of formula onto the infant’s lips and then stroked the corner of his mouth with the nipple. As if by some form of communication known only to the male species, Alex turned his face and latched on.

“Attaboy,” Nic murmured. His gaze flicked up to Cassidy’s. “Look at him go.”

Cassidy should have felt better. Instead, her depression deepened. If she couldn’t even feed Alex, how could she care for him? And if she didn’t, who would? She was no more parent material than Nic Carano. Nor did she possess his natural ease with people.

“How did you do that?”

Nic shrugged. A small smile gleamed white against his dirty face. “Told you,” he said easily. “Uncle Nicky’s got the touch.”

“Are you this good with your own kids?” she asked, not because she cared about his life one way or the other, but to keep from thinking about Janna and Brad.

Nic drew back in feigned alarm. “The Caranos have enough rug rats running around the place without me adding to the numbers. I’m Uncle Nicky. Not Daddy Nic.”

That sounded more like the Nic she remembered. Naturally he would love to play with the little ones, but he wouldn’t want to take on such a responsibility. The guy probably still lived at home so his mom could do his laundry.

“No matter where you learned, I appreciate your expertise. I’m kind of lost.”

Lost and more afraid than she’d been since that night in the Philippines. And almost as helpless.

Shoulders sagging, she closed her eyes. Janna’s pretty face laughed behind her eyelids.

Somehow Nic managed to hold Alex and his bottle as he leaned toward her, stirring the sickening stench of smoke. “Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?”

Cassidy nodded, numb and empty. She would never be okay again, but what could Nic Carano do about it? What could anyone do?

“I’m sorry.” He tilted his chin toward the baby. Alex gazed up at him with wide, earnest eyes, still sucking for all he was worth. “Sorry for both of you. I wish there was something more I could do.”

What good was sorry? She was sorry, too, but Janna was still gone. There were no words to describe how shattered she felt, how special Janna was or how much both she and Alex had lost last night.

Insides chilled, Cassidy drew her crossed arms tightly against her body as if to ward off reality. She longed to go to sleep, wake up tomorrow and discover this had all been a bad dream.

“Where do you go from here?” Nic asked gently. “I mean, who’s going to care for the little dude?”

The “little dude” had finished off his bottle. As if handling a baby was second nature, Nic set the bottle on the floor, lifted Alex to his shoulder and patted his back. Alex made gurgling, satisfied noises, oblivious to the drastic change in his life.

“I don’t know what we’ll do.” She didn’t want to think about the future. She could barely deal with the here and now. “Brad had no siblings and there was only Janna and me in our family.” She thought about Brad’s parents. They might be willing to raise Alex.

“My sister’s a social worker. She might be able to help.”

The idea of a social worker frightened Cassidy.

“No,” she said a little too sharply. “No social services.”

She trembled to think of her nephew growing up lonely and unloved the way she and Janna had. Alex deserved a loving home and family, not a parade of foster homes. She would choose. She would make the decision. Somehow.

“Forget I brought it up. Today is way too soon to think about that.”

“I never dreamed this would happen to Janna,” she murmured.

“No one ever expects a tragedy of this magnitude. Not even us firefighters. These things happen to other people. Not to us. Or so we think.”

Almost to herself, Cassidy said, “I don’t understand why God would let this happen.”

Again, she thought. Twice in her life she’d lost those closest to her. It wasn’t fair. She’d always considered God to be a good and loving God, the Father she’d lost as a child. Now she was left floundering to understand. Had she failed in some way? Was she being punished?

“You got me there,” Nic said. He tapped Alex on the nose and waited for the toothless smile before settling him on his lap to face Cassidy. Alex made a goo-goo sound, waving his arms in poignant happiness as he recognized her. “My mom would say all things work to the good for those who love God, but I have to admit I don’t get the whole God thing.”

Cassidy, too, was having a hard time believing that anything good could come from the death of two young, caring, godly people and the orphaning of their son.

“So you aren’t a believer?”

His smile was crooked. “Oh, yeah, I believe.”

Cassidy heard the unspoken “but” at the end of his proclamation, though she didn’t understand it.

From her missionary parents, she’d learned to love, revere and serve God all the days of her life. Regardless of her questions, God was the only answer. He was her anchor, her only hope. Though she couldn’t begin to understand, she had to believe God was with her. The alternative was hopelessness. How could anyone face an uncertain future without His strength and courage to sustain them?

She was about to ask Nic that very question, when he crinkled his nose. “Uh-oh. Change time.” Averting his head, he pushed the baby in her direction. “Uncle Nic does not do diapers.”

His lighthearted comment was a welcome diversion. She smiled in spite of herself.

“Firemen are supposed to be brave.”

He made a face. “Brave is relative. Give me a nasty, dirty fire any day, but not a nasty, dirty diaper.”

A nasty, dirty fire. Nic’s words brought back the pain, as sharp and plunging as an ice pick. She wished he would go away. He was a walking, talking reminder of death.

She’d had enough of death to last a lifetime.

Holding Alex, she abruptly stood, turning her back on the gear-clad firefighter. “Thanks for all you’ve done, Nic. I’ll take it from here.”

Her words were a stiff dismissal he couldn’t possibly miss this time.

A moment of silence stretched behind her. She didn’t turn around. If she did, she would apologize, and he would stay longer. He had to go and take his ghoulish job with him.

“If you need anything—”

Why did he have to be nice? “I won’t. Bye, Nic.”

She was giving him the brush-off?

Nic shifted on his feet, his boots heavy, his body weary. He wanted to be ticked, but he tamped down the reaction. Cassidy Willis was living a nightmare he couldn’t begin to comprehend. She looked so shattered that for a minute or two there, he’d been tempted to take her in his arms and comfort her. With most women, he would have done exactly that, but the classy-looking blonde exuded a cool aloofness that kept him at bay. For some reason, she wanted him to leave, but he couldn’t do that, either. Not yet anyway.

Normally, he didn’t get involved with fire victims, but last night the baby boy had gotten to him in a big way. As he’d waited in the emergency room, the child had clung to him, calm only as long as Nic was present and touching him. The little dude seemed to intuitively understand that his parents were gone and that Nic had saved his life.

Then when the aunt had stumbled into the room, the soft heart that sometimes got Nic into trouble had done a weird flip-flop, like a banked bass. Compassion, he supposed, but he was intrigued, too, though he had to admit, all women intrigued him. Ladies were a gift from God. Might as well enjoy them. But Cassidy Willis was different from his usual lady friends. Perhaps not in looks—she did have those—but in demeanor.

He’d known she was the aunt right away. She resembled the woman in the Scooby Doo pajamas he’d carried out of the burning house. Only where Alex’s mother had been dark-blond, Cassidy’s hair was sleek platinum, the kind that required considerable maintenance. Pampered sorority girl hair that went perfectly with her fancy acrylic nails.

She also had the kind of blue eyes men dream about, as vivid as his mama’s pansies. At the moment they were filled with anguish.

She must have been heading out for a jog when the news arrived because she wore a running outfit. From the looks of her slim form and pro athletic shoes, Cassidy Willis was a serious runner.

Too bad she couldn’t run away from the situation. Her world had turned upside down and she was coping pretty well, he thought. Well enough to want him to leave.

He was kind of offended at that. Most women wanted him to hang around. This one wanted him to leave.

In any other situation, he’d consider that a challenge.

Maybe he did anyway.

Her back still turned as if he wasn’t in the room, Cassidy reached beneath the crib, found a box of baby wipes and a clean diaper. He should go. He needed to go. Hanging out in hospitals with orphaned babies and bereaved women wasn’t his idea of a party.

Still, he felt this obligation to do something for her and the little dude.

Cassidy’s polished beauty was right up his alley, but her looks were the farthest thing from his mind. He wasn’t after a date. He had a couple of those already. He was after—Nic didn’t know for sure what he was after.

For reasons he could not explain, he couldn’t walk away and forget this pair. He should. He wanted to. But something irrevocable had happened last night and he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t do something for them. Besides, his big, pushy family would have his head if he didn’t look after a damsel in distress.

Maybe that was the problem. Family expectations, as usual, were his undoing.

“Hang on,” he said, though she clearly wasn’t leaving and had effectively shut him out. “I’ll be right back.”

He jogged out of the room, only to reappear in seconds bearing a pen and notepad. The nice nurse at the desk had been all smiles and obliging. He grinned and patted his chest with the flat of one hand. Must be the uniform.

He scribbled on the sheet, ripped off the page and handed it to Cassidy.

“Here you go,” he said. “That’s my cell and my house. Call if I can do anything.”

The way Cassidy stared at his broad scrawl made Nic wish he’d taken more interest in penmanship.

“Thanks.” She pocketed the piece of paper without enthusiasm.

“I’m serious,” Nic said, backing toward the door. “Call. I have a whole army of family who’d be glad to help.”

She nodded but returned her attention to the baby.

It wasn’t the reaction Nic was hoping for, but he’d done his duty. His conscience could rest. He needn’t give Cassidy Willis another thought.

Maybe.