Читать книгу A Texas Holiday Miracle - Linda Warren, Linda Warren - Страница 11

Chapter Three

Gabe walked into his house and sat at the kitchen table, Pepper curled at his feet. The woman had some nerve. She didn’t even know Zack or him. He looked up to stare at a photo of his son.

How would you feel if someone had done this to your child?

Don’t think.

But his feelings bubbled to the surface. He would be as mad as hell. He ran his hands over his face and a tortured sigh escaped. He would have protected his son with his dying breath, except that when his son had needed him the most, Gabe hadn’t been there. He’d failed his son. He’d failed to teach him how important it was to follow rules. He’d failed to discipline him. That was all on Gabe’s shoulders. Gabe was the reason Zack was dead.

Another tortured sigh erupted from his throat.

Pepper whined and Gabe reached down to pat her. As he did, he saw his reflection in the glass on the stove. He didn’t recognize himself. He touched his bearded face. When was the last time he’d shaved? Or showered? Or had gotten a haircut? He couldn’t remember.

Your son would be so disappointed in you.

The woman was right. He recognized that somewhere in the frozen region of his mind. Zack wouldn’t approve of him giving up and living his days in regret. But what else could he do? He had no reason to live anymore, but he didn’t have the nerve to take his own life. He would never do that. It went against everything he believed in. So he continued to live in a hell of his own making.

One crazy woman was putting doubts in his head. Ignore her, he told himself. But he looked at the photo of his smiling son and knew he couldn’t continue to live like this. Zack was gone and he couldn’t hurt another child. But he could make things right.

* * *

IT TOOK LACEY about thirty minutes to calm down. Emma and Jimmy continued to play with the Legos and she made them a snack. Afterward, Emma wanted to know if they could go outside and play. Lacey hesitated, but Emma would find out soon enough about the gate. Lacey just had to be ready to explain.

She watched from the window while the kids chased each other and then played with a soccer ball, kicking it. Not once did Emma go to the gate, and Lacey was grateful for a little more time. Sharon called and Jimmy went home.

Not wanting to go to the diner again, Lacey made hot dogs and they had store-packaged pudding for dessert. She had to do better than this.

Emma took her bath and then curled up on the sofa to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Lacey couldn’t get Gabe off her mind.

“Sweetie, I’m going outside just for a minute. I’ll be right back.”

“’Kay.” Emma was already engrossed in the movie.

Lacey went through the garage and walked to Gabe’s front door. She rang the bell and waited. After a moment, he opened it.

She could only stare. He’d shaved, and his long hair was slicked back as if he’d just gotten out of the shower. He wore jeans and a black T-shirt and his feet were bare. Raw masculinity seemed to reach out and touch her. She swallowed hard.

“Did you want something?” he asked, his voice wrapping around her in a soothing sensation.

“Um...”

He lifted a dark eyebrow, and his eyes were heated with an emotion she couldn’t describe. It wasn’t anger this time. Could it be regret?

“Did you want something?” he repeated.

She cleared her throat. “Yes. I want to apologize for what I said earlier. I was completely out of line mentioning your son.”

He inclined his head, as if that was a response.

Taking a couple steps backward, she turned and walked to her house. She’d never met anyone like Gabe before. He used a bare minimum of words, and she found that odd for a man who was a lawyer—or who had been one.

Once in her garage, she took a couple of deep breaths before joining Emma to watch the rest of the movie. But the movie went right by her as thoughts of Gabe filled her head. He cleaned up better than anyone she’d ever known. He was handsome with a rugged, masculine appeal that made her pulse skitter with awareness.

She’d had a boyfriend in Austin, and they had been serious until her father had become ill and Lacey had started spending so much time in Horseshoe. Darin hadn’t been happy that she’d taken on the responsibility of Emma, and they’d drifted apart. She hadn’t heard from him in months.

Her mother also hadn’t been pleased with Lacey’s decision. But then she and her mother had never been really close. Her father had been the steadying force in her life as a child and as a teenager. Her mother had worked at Macy’s for as far back as Lacey could remember—long hours and all holidays, leaving little time for her family.

Her parents were mismatched, and Lacey had never understood how they’d gotten together. Her mother was a social person who liked to go out after work. Her father had been a homebody who had enjoyed tinkering around the house.

Jack Carroll had been a postman, and her mother always had been on his case about drive and ambition. She’d wanted him to have a desk job. She’d wanted him to have prestige. It had all come to a head after her father had declined a desk job at the post office. Her mother had told him to get out and never come back. And he had. Then she’d blamed him for leaving. Her mother was the victim, and Lacey had grown tired of hearing that story.

But she was Lacey’s mother, and Lacey loved her even though it was hard sometimes to deal with her. She had no idea how she was going to fit Christmas in with her mother, because her mother refused to be around Emma. Somehow she blamed the child for the reason Jack never came back.

Emma was sound asleep, holding her bear. Lacey wondered how anyone could blame an innocent child. And she wondered if her life would be filled with anything other than heartache. Getting up, she yawned, reached for the remote control and clicked off the TV. She lifted Emma into her arms and carried her to bed.

Tomorrow had to be a better day.

And the man next door had to be in a better mood. They’d made a start. Now Lacey waited for the next encounter.

* * *

THE NEXT MORNING Lacey was in a hurry to make the ten o’clock mass. Emma was being stubborn, not wanting to wear a dress or put a bow in her hair. But Lacey won that round. They walked through the doors of the little Catholic Church in Horseshoe just as the bell chimed.

Emma fidgeted during the service, and Lacey had to give her a couple of sharp stares to keep her still. Afterward, they came out of church to a cold winter day. In the parking lot, Lacey said hello to Angie and Hardy Hollister. She had met Angie when she’d first moved here. Angie was very nice and had wanted to help as much as she could after Jack’s death. Angie’s friend Peyton was the same. Hardy was the D.A., and Peyton’s husband, Wyatt Carson, was the sheriff.

Emma brightened when she saw Angie and Hardy’s daughter. Erin was almost twelve, but Emma considered her a friend.

Erin took Emma’s hand and they ran to say hello to Erin’s grandma and the Wiznowski family. They were a big family and owned the busiest place in town, the bakery. Lacey was still learning all of their names.

“Why does Emma look so sad?” Angie asked, her hand on her stomach. She was due at the end of March and she positively glowed.

“Brad Wilson told her there’s no Santa Claus and now she doesn’t want to have Christmas.”

“How awful.”

Hardy had his arm around his wife, and he rubbed her shoulder in a loving gesture. “Kids can be cruel.”

Erin and Emma came running back and they said goodbye. Angie bent down to Emma. “Merry Christmas.”

Emma twisted in her Mary Jane shoes and didn’t respond.

Lacey took Emma’s hand and they walked to the car. They went to the diner for lunch before heading home. Emma was very quiet. She probably was feeling lonely, just like Lacey was.

Emma plopped onto the sofa. “Can Jimmy come over to play?”

“No. He’s gone to his grandmother’s today. Change your clothes and we’ll play games or something.”

“No.” The word was spoken in an angry tone.

Lacey gave her a minute. Then she placed her hands on her hips. “Go change your clothes. Now!”

Emma jumped up and ran to her room. Lacey groaned. Another one of those days. They were due for a good one. Soon.

After slipping into jeans and a pullover top, she went to check on Emma. The little girl was lying on her bed, reading a book. She took after her mother. Mona had been a librarian.

Lacey glanced around the lavender, white and purple room she’d helped their father decorate. Emma was not a girlie girl and had not wanted a pink room. Her father had bought all kinds of Barbies and a Barbie doll house and numerous other Barbie toys, but Emma barely touched them. She liked the outdoors and would rather play with a ball instead of a doll. But she did love stuffed animals, and they littered the comforter on her white four-poster bed.

Lacey sat beside her sister. “What are you reading?”

Emma closed A Light in the Attic and scooted up. “Why don’t I have a grandma?”

Oh, that was the reason for the sulkiness. “You did have a grandma. Two, actually. Dad’s mom’s name was Martha and your mom’s was Ruth. Grandma Martha died when I was fifteen. She would’ve loved you.”

“She would?”

“You bet. She gave big hugs and made everyone feel loved. I always looked forward to staying with her during the summer.”

“What about my other grandma?”

Lacey took a breath, hating to talk about so many deaths. But she had to be honest. “She died, too, sweetie. I never met her. She was a librarian like your mother.”

Emma stared down at her sneakers. “Why does everybody have to die?”

Lacey frantically opened the book in her head and searched for answers. As always, none was suitable. She had to go with her gut feeling. “That’s life, sweetie, and as you get older you’ll understand more.” That sounded lame even to her own ears. She was terrible at this. Hugging Emma, she said, “You know what? You can call me Lacey or you can call me Grandma. I can be both.”

Emma giggled. With a hand over her mouth, she said, “You’re weird, Lacey.”

“How about if we walk to the park and play on the big slide and swing set?”

“’Kay.” Emma jumped off the bed. “They have a really big slide. It makes my stomach feel funny and it’s fun.”

“Let’s get our coats and go, then.”

Emma grabbed her coat from a chair. As Lacey went to her room to get hers, the buzz of her cell phone stopped her.

“Just a minute, Emma. I have to answer my phone.”

It was her mother. Lacey sank onto the bed, ready for another round of complaints. “Hi, Mom.”

Her mother wasted no time getting started. “Since you couldn’t spend Thanksgiving with me, I was hoping we could spend Christmas together.”

Lacey closed her eyes and counted to three. “Mom, you know I can’t leave Emma at Christmas.”

“What about me? Your own mother? You have no time for me anymore. I don’t know what Jack was thinking when he asked you to take care of that child. You’re a young woman and should have your own life.”

They had been through this so many times, and Lacey had grown weary of the subject. “It was my choice. Mona’s sister offered to take Emma, but she has four children of her own. If Emma was taken from the home she’d shared with Dad, I knew it would be detrimental for her. I love my sister and I couldn’t put her through that. I’m here and I intend to stay here. I will work something out for Christmas.”

“Like what?”

“If you would just accept Emma, you could come to Horseshoe.”

“I’m not stepping foot in the house your father shared with that woman.”

Lacey wanted to beat her head against something. “He shared this house with his wife.”

“I’ll never forgive you for accepting her.”

“Mom, have you been drinking or something? You’re not making any sense. You’re the one who told dad to leave. You’re the one who remarried three months later. I don’t know why you feel like the victim.”

“Jack would have come back if it hadn’t been for her.”

“You’d married someone else. Are you forgetting that?”

“I only did it to get back at him. That’s why the marriage didn’t last.”

“Mom, I’m not going through all this again. Mona and Emma made Dad very happy.”

After a long pause, Joyce said, “Maybe I am being a little irrational, but I loved your father and I never meant for him to stay away. It just turned out that way.”

Finally, her mother was admitting the truth. “I know you loved him, but you were miserable the last years of your marriage.”

“Lacey,” a little voice call from the hallway. “Are we going to the park?”

“In a minute, sweetie. I’ll be right there,” she called back. “Mom, I really have to go.”

“Am I going to see you at all this Christmas?”

“What about Mervin?” That was her mom’s new boyfriend.

“He’ll want to spend time with his kids, and I don’t get along with them.”

No surprise there. Her mother enjoyed being the center of attention. “Call me when you have a day off and I’ll come for a visit.”

“I work a lot during the holidays.”

Same old line. Same old verse. “Please think about coming here for Christmas. Once you meet Emma, you’ll love her. She had nothing to do with your marriage or your divorce. She’s just an innocent little girl.”

“I’ll talk to you later,” her mother said, and clicked off.

Lacey sat for a moment and wished her mother would come to grips with the past and her part in it. But maybe some things just were not doable. Or realistic, considering the way her mother felt.

Now Lacey had a little girl who was eager to go to the park. She reached for her jacket and hurried to the kitchen. But Emma wasn’t there and she wasn’t in the living room. Or anywhere in the house.

No! No! No!

Lacey ran out the back door and stopped short. The gate was open. Gabe had removed the board? She walked slowly to the opening and could see Emma sitting on a lawn chair, huddled in her red-and-black coat. Gabe sat next to her in a black hoodie and jeans. They were staring at Pepper in her bed. Neither was speaking. There was complete silence.

What were they doing?

Gabe didn’t seem upset that Emma was there. Lacey’s first instinct was to go over and make Emma come back to their house. But something stopped her.

A plane flew overhead. A car honked and the wind rustled through the leaves of the tall oaks. Other than that, the two of them sat there in perfect harmony. Perfect silence. Lacey couldn’t bring herself to interrupt.

Suddenly, Emma said, “Pepper is sick. When I was sick, my daddy took me to the doctor. You have to take Pepper to the doctor.”

Gabe didn’t answer or look at Emma. His eyes were on the dog.

“My daddy died, so he can’t take me anymore. Lacey does. Daddy’s in heaven and Lacey says he can see me. But I can’t see him. I miss my daddy.” Emma wiped at her eyes and Lacey wanted to run over, but again she didn’t. “Do you miss your son?”

Lacey’s heart sank at the question. She should get Emma before she caused Gabe any more pain. But for some reason she couldn’t explain, she stood there, holding her breath, waiting for Gabe to answer.