Читать книгу Texas Rebels: Jude - Linda Warren, Linda Warren - Страница 11

Chapter Four

Jude parked at the curb of the new Horseshoe Park and made his way to where he saw Paige sitting at a picnic table. The brightly colored swings and slides and the new water park faded from his mind as he focused on the woman waiting for him.

The first thing he’d noticed at the cemetery was that she’d lost a lot of weight. Away from her criticizing mother, she must’ve stopped the binge junk-eating. She was now slim and her hair was more blond than brown. It suited her. Her face still held that same sweet innocence that had first attracted him to her. But now there was a maturity about her that was just as attractive.

Never Never Land never looked so good.

She got up and ran to him, then wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. The scent of lilac soap wafted to him. He froze, which was more the reaction of the teenage boy he used to be. But the man in him recognized all those old feelings that had bound him to her years ago. Maybe some things just never changed.

When he didn’t return the hug, she went back to the table and he eased onto the bench across from her, removing his hat. The wind rustled through the tall oaks and he took a moment to gather his thoughts. It was like gathering bits and pieces from his past to guide him. What should he say? What should he do?

“You look good,” she said. “You filled out. The teenage boy I used to date doesn’t seem to exist anymore.”

“He grew up, and so have you. I hardly recognized you at the cemetery. The young girl of long ago has matured into a beautiful woman.”

“Thank you.” She tilted her head slightly to smile at him and his heart raced like a wild mustang’s at the look he remembered well. “You were always good for my ego.”

He didn’t shift or act nervous. He couldn’t do that now. He had to be the man he was supposed to be. For Zane. And for himself.

“I’m sorry about your mom.”

She shrugged. “Thanks. She’s at peace now.”

“So you’ve forgiven her for all the crappy stuff?”

“It’s hard to hold on to all that bitterness. After Staci put her in the mental hospital, we found out her erratic behavior was because of the injuries to her head and spine in the accident that killed my grandparents. Alcohol only made it worse.”

“I knew there had to be a reason for the way she acted.” They were getting bogged down in ordinary conversation when he wanted to talk about something else entirely. “How’s California?”

“Great. I’m busy, so I don’t get to see a lot of it. But I’ve enjoyed my stay there.”

“I’m glad you had the chance to make your dream come true.” He really meant that with all his heart. But a small part of him wanted her to love him enough to have stayed and raised their son together.

“Do you still work on the ranch?” she asked quickly, as if she wanted to change the subject.

“Yes. I’ll always be a cowboy.”

She fiddled with her hands in her lap. “I heard you have a son.” Her eyes caught his and all the guilt hit him, blindsiding him.

“Yes.” Our son. The one you gave away.

She looked off to the tall oaks and the branches swaying in the breeze. “Do...do...you ever think about our child?”

His stomach roiled with a familiar ache. “Every day.” He didn’t try to avoid the subject, because he knew they’d have to discuss it thoroughly.

“I think about the baby all the time. I can’t seem to shake all those guilty feelings and...and I think we made a mistake.”

His gut tensed. “Why do you say that? We talked about it a lot and you said you could handle the feelings. You said the fact that our child would have a good home would be enough for you. What made you change your mind?”

She placed a hand over her heart. “I just have this need to know if I have a son or a daughter. We should have asked. We should have held our child. As a young girl, I was arrogantly boastful that I could handle all those emotions and all those feelings. I was wrong. It almost destroyed me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I cried all the way to California and I cried for days afterward. I couldn’t get over it. But that’s in the past.” She waved a hand to dismiss it. “I wanted to talk to you because I was hoping you felt the same and would want to know if we had a son or a daughter. Would you be willing to go with me to talk to Mrs. Carstairs? Maybe she would tell us if we both went.”

“Paige...”

“I know you have a different life now and I don’t want to interfere with that. But I have to know. Do you understand that?”

He didn’t understand anything and he certainly hadn’t expected this from her at this late date. He hadn’t expected any guilty feelings from the woman whose career meant everything to her and who’d been positive she could handle the emotions. He searched for words to tell her the truth but they stuck in his throat like a wad of cotton.

“If both of us went, she might tell us if the baby was a boy or girl. We’re not asking for our child back, just information. I’d really like to know if our child is happy. Don’t you want to know these things?”

We have a son and he’s with me. I’ve had him since the day after he was born. Simple words. Painful words. All he had to do was say them and it would ease her mind. He took a deep breath and tried to force the words out. Before he could, his cell buzzed. He reached into his pocket and pulled it out and saw it was Zane’s school. He clicked the call on immediately.

“Excuse me,” he said to Paige and got to his feet.

“Mr. Rebel, this is Sharon Thompson, Principal Bowers’s secretary.”

“Is there a problem?”

“We had an incident at school this morning and the principal would like for you to come in as soon as you can.”

“Is my son okay?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

He shoved his phone back into his pocket and then picked up his hat. “I’m sorry—I have to go. Can we meet later?”

“I’m staying for two weeks. We’re going to clean out our old house and put it on the market. You can catch me over there. Here’s my cell number.”

“Good. I’ll see you then.” He marched off without a backward glance, worried about his son. What had happened? Zane was never in trouble.

Jude made it to the school in record time. The school was shaped like a horseshoe. The administration office was in the center, with grades one through six on the left and grades seven through twelve on the right. The gym and cafeteria were in the back. The Horseshoe school system had always been in one spot, but the school was bursting at the seams because the town’s population was growing. Soon they would have to have portable buildings to house some of the students.

He went through the double doors into the school. The principal’s office was straight ahead and he hurried there. The halls were empty and the big clock on the wall said it was only five after ten.

“Jude.”

He turned to see Annabel coming toward him in a spring dress and heels. She was beautiful, patient and loving. Everything he wanted in a woman. He wasn’t sure why he held back on taking their relationship further.

“Where’s Zane?”

She nodded at a door. “He’s in there with Rachel. She’s taking care of him.”

“Taking care of him? What happened?” Fear edged its way up his spine and his nerves tightened.

Annabel touched his arm. “Calm down. Zane is fine.”

Her touch had a calming effect. He took a long breath. “What happened?”

“After first class, the kids went to their lockers to get ready for second period. Dudley McCray was bragging about how fast his horse was and how he was going to win the Founder’s Day Horse Race. Zane told him he had a fast horse, too, and he just might win. Dudley got mad and said no egghead Rebel was beating him. He then pushed Zane and Zane fell backward onto the floor, his books going everywhere. The kids rushed to help him, but he got to his feet, saying Dudley was upset because he was afraid Zane was going to beat him. Dudley told him he wasn’t afraid of any egghead Rebel. Zane replied that only idiots weren’t afraid. That really got Dudley angry and he went after Zane, but the hall monitor was there and several teachers kept him from hitting Zane again.”

“Zane’s not hurt?”

“No, he was very calm. I have to get back to class. I’ll talk to you later.” She gave him a smile and walked off down the hall. He watched her for a moment, thinking she could be his future, but he was tied to the past with a boulder around his neck pulling him down. Why he kept holding on, he wasn’t quite sure. But the days ahead would provide closure or more heartache.

He opened the classroom door and went inside. Zane was sitting in a class chair and a very pregnant Rachel was stroking his hair as if to soothe him, and his son was eating it up.

“Hey, Dad.” Zane jumped to his feet when he saw Jude.

Rachel kissed the top of Zane’s head and said, “Your dad’s here and I have to get back to class.”

“Did they tell you what happened?”

“Yeah. Are you okay?” He looked Zane over to see if he had bruises or scratches on his face or arms.

“Yes. You told me to never fight unless it was necessary and it wasn’t. I can hurt Dudley with words. He’s an idiot. He thinks he’s going to win the race, but he’s not. You and Uncle Quincy said I have the fastest horse.”

Jude squeezed his son’s shoulder. “Son, we believe that Bear is fast, but a lot of things can happen in a race and I want you to be prepared for that.”

“Okay, Dad. But Bear can win.”

Jude squatted in front of his son. “I will be there supporting you all the way. I want you to do something for me, though.”

“What?”

“I want you to stop bragging about Bear at school. At home, that’s different. We’ll let Bear do all the talking on race day.”

Zane winked. “Gotcha, Dad.”

Sharon opened the door. “The principal will see you now.”

Jude stood. “Are you ready?”

“I’ve never been to the principal’s office before.” For the first time a note of anxiety entered Zane’s voice.

Jude patted his son’s back. “It won’t be so bad.”

As they walked toward the principal’s office, Zane asked, “Did you ever have to go to the principal’s office?”

“Yep. Your uncle Phoenix got me into a lot of trouble with his antics.” And Paige. They’d been caught kissing in his truck after the bell had rung and had been sent to the principal’s office. He wouldn’t share that, though.

“Did you get punished?”

“Not as much as we got punished at home. We couldn’t go anywhere on Saturday or Sunday. We had to work.”

“Are you going to punish me?”

“No, son. The principal will take care of all that.”

The meeting was short. Zane was sent back to class and told all talk of the race was off-limits in school. Dudley was sent to a classroom by himself to read alone and think about what he’d done.

Jude sat outside in his truck for a while reflecting on those days of long ago. He and Paige had been too young to get involved so seriously. But no one could have told them that at the time. Even so, Jude would never regret having Zane. He wasn’t going to apologize to Paige for going back to get him, either. That was his decision and he would stand by it to the day he died.

He started the engine. Now he had to tell Zane’s mother about her son. It would be one of the hardest things he would ever have to do.

* * *

PAIGE CHANGED OUT of her suit into jeans, a T-shirt and sneakers. They were cleaning out the house and it was dirty work. Dust and cobwebs were everywhere, emphasizing all the pain and sorrow that had happened within the walls.

“Hey, the refrigerator still works. How about that?” Staci diligently wiped it out with bleach and water. Staci had had the electricity turned on days ago so they could work. They had two weeks and they planned to repaint inside and out to make it attractive to a buyer.

The house was a nice three-bedroom two-bath brick home their mother had bought with the insurance money from her parents’ death. Or more to the point, Uncle Harry, Darlene’s guardian, had bought it for them. Uncle Harry and Aunt Nora had lived next door and they had been a godsend when they were growing up. Uncle Harry had died when Paige was fifteen. And Nora had followed six months later. For the first time the three Wheeler children were alone in the world. But Luke had already joined the army and that left just Staci and Paige and their mother.

Uncle Harry’s house had been willed to the three children, but Darlene had sold it and made them sign the papers. With the money, she’d bought a new car and a used one for Staci. She’d blown the rest on frivolous stuff. They didn’t live that far from the school and after Staci graduated and went to work, Paige walked to school. But after she fell in love with Jude, he always picked her up.

Jude.

He’d gotten her through high school. He’d gotten her through so much of her horrendous life. And then...

“How did your talk go with Jude?” Staci asked, frowning at the pan of dirty water from cleaning the fridge. “We can keep our cold drinks in here while we’re working and that’s probably it. The owners will probably dump it.”

“We didn’t get to talk much. He got a call from the school about his son and he left quickly.”

“Did he say anything about his son or his wife or girlfriend?”

“No, and I really don’t want to know. I just want him to go with me to talk to Mrs. Carstairs.”

Staci stopped what she was doing to look at Paige, who was throwing items from the cabinets into a big trash can. “Kiddo, do you think that’s the best decision? It’s been a long time and it might be best for you, for everyone, to let it go.”

“I can’t, Staci. I need answers to go on.” Paige leaned against the cabinet. “I’ve made so many bad decisions and I know I can’t go back and change that. But to go forward I have to feel good inside about what happened. I don’t know if that’s ever going to happen, but I know I have to have some answers.”

“Did Jude say he would go with you?”

“He didn’t say much of anything, but that’s Jude. He doesn’t talk much. He said he would come by here when he got through at school and I’m going to ask him again.”

Staci closed the refrigerator and wiped her hands on her jeans. “I don’t mean to hurt you, but how is knowing you had a son or daughter going to help you feel any better? The baby is still gone. I think it’s time you face that. That’s the only thing that’s going to give you closure. Just be grateful you gave the child a life and probably a very good one with a nice family who’s spoiling the devil out of it.”