Читать книгу Man of Passion - Lindsay McKenna - Страница 9

“Will you settle down?” Ari hissed the words to herself as she sat tensely in the living room of her condo. It was located near Georgetown University, where she’d spent five years of her life pursuing a degree she didn’t want. Her father was to meet her at 8:00 p.m. She knew he’d be punctual; he always was. In fact, he ran his life by that darned appointment book of his. After all, Ben Worthington was a power broker who moved in the highest circles of politics and government in the country.

Chewing on her full lower lip—a nervous habit she took up whenever she was about to have a confrontation with him or anyone—she uncrossed her legs and sat straight on the flowery print couch. Her mind raced. She had to have all the reasons why she had to go to the Amazon down pat or her father would shred them with his cold, analytical skills. Her heart almost burst with anticipation and she collapsed against the back of the couch. She had to go! Her father had to let her.

When the doorbell rang, Ari jumped what felt like three feet off the couch. Instantly, her stomach knotted as she leaped to her feet and walked breathlessly to the door, smoothing a hand over the long-sleeved lavender blouse she wore with dark navy trousers and comfortable brown loafers. Opening the door, she saw her father standing there, towering over her with his massive height. She could see dark shadows beneath his pale blue eyes, and the set of his mouth sent a frisson of fear through her. Beneath his left arm was a manila envelope, and he carried a black leather briefcase.

“Hi, Father, come on in….” She stepped aside. “You look really tired. Hard day?”

Ben ambled into the small, neatly kept condo. “It was a tough day, Ari. Yes, I’m beat.” He glanced around the room, realizing once again how much her condo reflected Ellen’s taste in furniture, colors and greenery. Ari had created space for about six orchids on the windowsills. Some of them were in bloom. When he halted, turned and looked down at his youngest daughter, he thought about how much she looked like Ellen had when they’d first gotten married. They’d been in their mid-twenties, and Ben recalled vividly how he’d plunged over the edge when he’d seen Ellen. She was so alive, almost ethereal. More like a diaphanous cloud than something created from terra firma. Though Ari had his light blue eyes, she had Ellen’s thick, gold hair and oval face. In fact, Ari was the same height and build as Ellen. His daughter had let her hair grow since graduating from college and it hung in a loose pageboy around her slumped shoulders.

Ben wished Ari would square her shoulders and stand up tall and proud. But she never did. He watched as she fluttered around the living room, removing several magazines from the couch to the coffee table, next to the lacy fern that sat there.

“Have you eaten?” Ari asked, her heart pounding hard with anxiety.

“Yes, I have.” Ben sat down. Ari took the overstuffed chair opposite him. Chewing on her lip, she watched as her father put down the briefcase and then slowly opened the thick manila envelope.

“What’s that?” She hoped it was her airline ticket for Manaus.

“Your adventure,” he muttered. Lifting his head, his hand resting on the papers he placed on his lap, he said, “Are you sure you want to do this, Ari? I’ve got a job on Wall Street waiting for you. Why can’t you drop this idea of yours and do something solid for your career?”

Hurt wove through her. She avoided his piercing blue gaze. Ari had a tough time looking people squarely in the eyes. She always felt so worthless, so inept and small in comparison to those who could boldly meet someone’s gaze and hold it. She admired people who could. She felt like a coward most of the time. Rubbing her face with her hands, she whispered, “Father, I’ve got to do this!” Her soft voice grew fervent. “Please? This is for Mom.” She put her hand against her heart. “She dreamed so much of going to the Amazon to hunt orchids and draw them. I really want to do this for her.”

Wearily, Ben studied his daughter’s features in the lamplight. She looked more girl than woman to him. Maybe Morgan was right and he needed to see Ari differently. But dammit, it was hard. Almost impossible to do. “But you can’t even draw, Ari!” Instantly, he saw how his words wounded her. Every little emotion registered across her face, just as it had on Ellen’s. They were so much alike that it broke his heart. “I’m sorry, Ari…you just don’t have your mother’s education and training. You never took a course in art.”

Pressing both hands to her heart, Ari fought back the tears. She felt like such a loser. She wanted desperately to please her father, but this thing, this urge deep in her heart and gut, was driving her like a fanatical force that would no longer be ignored. She had to respond to it, to how she really felt. Heart aching, Ari whispered, “I know I’m a lousy artist, Father. I don’t even pretend to call myself one. But I love to sketch. I used to sketch with Mom all the time. Remember how she’d loan me some of her paper and colored pencils and we’d both draw the orchid she chose?”

“Only too well,” Ben admitted tiredly. On the walls of Ari’s condo were at least ten of Ellen’s original paintings of her beloved orchids. Ellen had been a small sensation in the art world with her talent for portraying the luscious, feminine-looking orchids. It had started as a hobby, but she had eventually made a lot of money at it, as well as achieving no small amount of fame.

Ben studied Ari. She looked helpless to him, her hands pressed against her small breasts, her eyes pleading. What tore at him most were the unshed tears he saw in them. Dammit, he didn’t mean to hurt her or make her cry. Ellen would cry at anything and everything. Ari was no different.

“Look,” he said gruffly, “I’ve got your airline ticket here, your passport and everything you need. You’re going, okay?”

Instantly, Ben saw a shining, joyous light come to her large, widening eyes.

“Oh, thank you, Father!” Ari leaped off the chair, came around the coffee table and threw her arms around his neck, giving him a fierce hug.

“Ari…don’t get carried away,” he ordered brusquely, untangling his daughter’s arms from around his neck. “You’re not a little kid anymore,” he muttered. “You’re a young woman….”

Laughing delightedly, Ari sat there, one leg beneath her on the couch as she felt a thrill of freedom flow through her. He was going to let her go to Manaus! Suddenly she was scared. She’d lived with fear all her life, so this was just a new kind to her. It felt delicious in comparison to her other fears, however. Soaring giddily on the news, she said, “Father, are you saying I’m too old to give you a hug every now and then?” He had always been uncomfortable with touching and holding, and Ari never understood why. Her mother had been such a toucher and hugger in comparison, but Ari had never seen her parents kiss or even hold hands out in public. Yet she knew to this day that her dad still loved her mother fiercely. Her photos were everywhere in his condominium and on his desk at the Pentagon. Ari knew he kept a color photo of her mother in his wallet, too.

“You’re growing into a young woman,” he said bluntly. “You and I have to adjust to that.” He hoped by using Morgan’s words that he could help Ari feel a little more confident about herself. A little more sure. Ben had never seen such a flighty, uncertain person as Ari. He blamed it on the unexpected death of Janis and then her mother. Despite their age difference, Ari and Janis had been very close. And Ari had almost given up on living after Janis died. She was just a shadow, no, a mouse who ducked and dodged her way through life, running to the safety of her dream world.

Trying to quiet her spontaneous outburst, because she knew her father disapproved of effusive emotional displays—touching him with her hand or, heaven forbid, hugging him around the neck— Ari asked, “Is all of that for me?”

“Yes.” Ben held up the packet. “I talked to an old friend of mine today. He knows someone—a guide down in Manaus—who is going to help you.” Ben did not mention that Rafe Antonio would also act as her bodyguard, because he knew Ari would instantly rebel. Let his daughter think she was on her own. He placed a color fax in her hands. “This is a photo of Rafe Antonio. He’s a forest ranger near Manaus. He’s got a camp three hours east of there on the Amazon River. I’ve hired him to help you hunt for your orchids. You can stay at his camp, which is near one of the Indian villages he takes care of.”

Awed and stunned by her father’s help, Ari held the paper in her hands. The man in the photo wore a short-sleeved khaki shirt with some kind of emblem on the sleeve. He was standing languidly on what appeared to be a very old, beat-up houseboat. She could see a wide, muddy river behind him. The Amazon? She hoped so. He was so tall and athletic looking as he rested his elbow on top of the wooden pilot house. His face was square, his skin a golden color, his hair short and jet-black. His eyes were filled with laughter, and the wide smile showing his even white teeth made her smile in turn. He looked like an adventurer. Ari’s heart began skipping wildly. Rafe was terribly good-looking, in her opinion. Was he married? Did he have a lot of kids? Ari thought so. He looked married.

“He has a kind face, Father.”

Ben snorted. “You’re just like your mother, Ari, thinking you can look at someone’s face and know him.”

“Sure you can.” She saw her father frown in disapproval. Lately, she’d been getting awfully mouthy around him. Normally she kept such thoughts to herself. Ever since the desire to go to the Amazon had taken hold of her soul and heart, she couldn’t keep the words, her true feelings, from spilling from her lips. Cringing inwardly, she saw the censure in his eyes.

“This man is to be trusted,” Ben said with an effort. He didn’t want Ari to know he was a mercenary in the employ of Perseus. Otherwise she would become suspicious. He had carefully extracted the info from the paperwork he was about to give her. “I’m leaving his résumé and curriculum vitae with you. You can read it on the flight down to Manaus. He’s got a degree in biology. Where he works, there’s plenty of orchids to keep you happy.”

“Wonderful!” she gushed. “Oh, I’m so happy, Father. Thank you!”

“I don’t approve of you going down there, Ari. Don’t mistake what I’m doing. I’m very disappointed you aren’t taking that job on Wall Street which I worked hard to get for you. You think life is easy. You think you can just traipse off on this airy-fairy dream of yours. You never took journalism in university. You need to do that if you want to write a book. And you don’t have a degree in art. I don’t know why you think you can create a book of orchid sketches with text and actually sell it.” Raking his fingers through his hair, he pinned his daughter with a dark gaze. She hung her head and avoided his eyes, as always.

“I’m doing this for you because I know you’ll do it anyway and I’d prefer you had my help. And dammit, I don’t want to see you floundering around in a foreign country, in a strange city, trying to find someone who can help you hunt for orchids. Chances are you’d be robbed, killed or worse, kidnapped, and I’d get a call for a million-dollar ransom to get you back. No, Rafe Antonio is in place because I want you as safe as you can be on this jaunt of yours.”

Pain filled Ari. “I—I understand, Father.”

“How long do you think you’ll be gone?” he demanded, barely keeping the anger out of his voice.

Looking from side to side, still afraid to meet his eyes, which Ari knew snapped with frustration, she said, “I don’t really know. Mom said it would take at least three to six months to find enough orchids to fill a book. And then I’d need to go to New York to talk to publishers, get them to buy it.”

Ben sat there helplessly. “Six months? You’re going to be in Brazil for six months?”

“I don’t really know, Father. It could be more or less. Mom figured it would take about thirty orchids per book. If I can find them sooner, I’ll be back sooner.”

“The sooner the better,” Ben growled. He flung his hand toward the packet of information he’d tossed on the coffee table in front of them. “Read through the stuff. Antonio has a recent photo of you. He’ll know you on sight. He’s going to meet you after you get out of Customs at the Manaus airport.”

Nodding contritely, Ari felt like crying. She was going on the adventure she and her mother had plotted and planned for months. During the last year of her mother’s life, when she had been sick with leukemia, Ari had spent hours sitting on her bed, writing notes on the dream trip her mother yearned to take—but never would. That didn’t stop her mother from imagining every day of it, however. And now Ari wanted to live that diary she’d filled with her mother’s dreams. She wanted to fulfill them even if she couldn’t draw or write very well. Ari was sure she’d never get the book sold, but she was going to try because it had meant so much to her mother, who had never had her dreams fulfilled. Ari was only sorry her father didn’t understand why she had to go to the Amazon.

“I’ve got to leave,” Ben said abruptly, and stood up. He rebuttoned his suit coat, smoothed his tie into place and gazed down at her. Ari seemed so fragile. Her skin looked so delicate that he could see the fine veins beneath her large, expressive blue eyes. In a robotlike motion, he reached out and briefly touched her sagging shoulder. “Have a good flight tomorrow, Ari. Call me when you get to Manaus?”

“Sure,” she murmured. His touch was so brief, like a butterfly landing and leaving. Ari ached to have him pull her into his arms and embrace her in farewell. She quelled her own desire to fling her arms around him again. He seemed so embarrassed and uncomfortable when she did it. Crossing her arms against her chest instead, she kept her distance.

Ben pulled out a package from the inner pocket of his coat. “Here, a going away gift, Ari. Use it frequently.”

Surprised, she took the gold-foil-wrapped gift, which sported a red ribbon. “Oh!” she gasped, and quickly sat down, tearing at the wrapping. When she opened up the long, rectangular box, she saw it held a phone. Looking up, a question on her face, she saw her father smile benignly.

“That’s an Iridium phone—the latest technology available. It cost three thousand dollars. Use that to call me anytime. It hooks up to satellites directly. Cell phones don’t work down in the jungle where you’re going.”

Touched, Ari gently put the gift on the couch. Against her better judgment, she threw her arms around her father. He was so tall! So strong and stalwart, when she felt none of those things about herself. Pressing her cheek against his chest, she sobbed, “Thank you, Father. Thank you…for everything….”

“Here, here,” Ben growled as he gripped her upper arms and eased away. “Now don’t go getting mushy on me, Ari. Buck up. And don’t cry. I can’t stand women crying.”

Sniffing, Ari swallowed her tears of joy. “Okay, Father.” She gave him a quick smile. “I’ll call you when I land at Manaus.”

“Yes,” Ben said sternly, “you’d better.” He jabbed a finger toward the fax photo of the mercenary. “And I want to know that you’ve hooked up with Antonio. Do not leave the airport unless he’s there. Do you understand?”

Ari tried to look appropriately contrite as her father went through a three-minute list of what he did and did not want her to do when she reached Manaus. Hands folded in front of her, unable to meet his eyes, she simply bowed her head and listened, as she always had. But her brain and heart were elsewhere while her father harangued her. Every time she stole a look toward the coffee table and saw Rafe’s picture, her heart leaped like a wild gazelle. Why? Ari was stymied. He looked to be in his late twenties or early thirties. She was sure he was married. Well, it wouldn’t hurt to enjoy how handsome he was. She’d look, but not touch. Ari would never think of liking a man who was married. She held marriage sacred. Besides, she had been a wallflower, with few dates coming her way in university. Most men saw her as a weak-willed little thing incapable of holding their interest.

Still, when her father finished his list and headed toward the door, Ari brightened considerably.

As she quietly closed the door behind him, she sighed with relief. She’d won. She’d taken her first stand with her father and won. Her heart wouldn’t settle down, she was so excited. Walking back to the couch, she eagerly sat down and looked through the rest of the information on her guide. Ari was stunned by his impeccable academic credentials. He’d gone to Stanford Medical University and gotten a Ph.D. in biology! He was more than just a “forest ranger” as her father had said. Much more. Stanford’s medical school was one of the top in the world for medical doctors and scientists. Obviously, Rafe was a scientist.

That thrilled her. He’d have a wonderful knowledge of her beloved orchids. Because he lived in the Amazon, he would know the species and varieties. As she quickly perused his résumé, she noticed he was single and twenty-nine years old. Single? She picked up the photo of him, stunned by this revelation. How could someone as drop-dead handsome as this man be single? That didn’t make sense. Ari told herself he was probably divorced. Surely a man of his caliber, his looks and courage would have found his soul mate by now.

Rafe Antonio looked like a Spanish explorer from the sixteenth century, a world-conquering hero. The fax didn’t give details of his facial features or the all-important eyes. Eyes, to Ari, were indeed the window to a person’s soul which was probably why she was unable to meet most people’s eyes—she felt excruciatingly vulnerable when she did. As if the person staring at her could look directly into her heart and soul. That kind of vulnerability was something Ari experienced twenty-four hours a day. She had no way to turn it off or protect herself.

But Ari didn’t feel vulnerable now; she felt strong and alive. Unable to still the happiness that was palpably flowing through her like a river flowing over its banks in a springtime flood, she leaned back, closed her eyes and pressed Rafe’s picture to her heart. Oh! How wonderful she felt! At last she was going to get to fulfill her mother’s dream. How many books had they read on the Amazon? Ari remembered how her mother had read aloud to her as a seven-year-old. How she’d loved to hear her voice, for her mother knew how to make even the dullest book interesting, make the words come to life. Opening her eyes, Ari sobered a little. Yes, she was fulfilling a dream, but she feared she would never be able to draw the orchids well enough, or provide good text for the book.

“I have to try,” she told herself fiercely, her words echoing around the room. Looking up, she gazed at a huge oil painting her mother had done of the Phalaenopsis, or moth, orchids. The petals really did look like moths’ wings, she mused. The colors were rich and deep, from an elegant white orchid with pink luscious lips, to a pale yellow one and a vivid purple one. Their green, glossy oval leaves provided a fitting backdrop for the hanging spikes in the painting. Yes, there was no question that her mother was an exquisite artist. But Ari wasn’t going to try and pretend that she was too. All she’d take with her to the Amazon was her sketchpad and her trusty set of colored pencils.

“Tomorrow, Ari, you’ll be on your own for the first time….” And she was. She’d done everything her father wanted up until now. She’d gone to university. She’d lived in Georgetown and remained near his townhouse in the nearby suburb of Alexandria. Ari had been a faithful daughter to him by coming over to visit and making him dinner two or three nights a week. She’d been there for him as her mother might have been, if she’d lived. No, tomorrow was a brand-new chapter in her life and she knew it. Fear wound around her heart, yet Ari couldn’t stop the excitement she felt. At last she was going to make her mother’s dream come true…with the help of Rafe Antonio, a man who looked more like a Hollywood star than a forest ranger.