Читать книгу Love without a Compass - Lindy Zart - Страница 13

5

BEN

I rub the back of my neck as I take in the monstrous-sized mountains. Damn, it’s an overwhelming view. Mountains high into the clouds, vast and out of focus. Like a painting—an image I’d rather be looking at on a wall instead of witnessing firsthand.

I cannot even begin to gauge where we are in relation to the path on which we started, but like Avery, I can’t sit and wait. I’ll look for some trace of other humans while Avery goes and gets herself even more lost. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. I ignore the feeling of wrongness that creeps over me as the minutes of our separation grow. It’s her own fault if she vanishes and no one ever sees her again. I tried to tell her.

Walking a dozen footsteps, I keep my eyes trained on the rocky hill before me, seeing nothing but insects, and a rodent or two. Lots of land, and lots of nothing. My shirt is damp with sweat, the sun unapologetic in its burn. I need food, and a drink or two, preferably of hard liquor. The terrain gets rockier the higher up I climb, and when I reach the halfway point, I know I’m not anywhere I want to be. There’s no trail above me. I skid down the wall and jump back, picking another area of the vast, wooded fortress to check.

Time seems to drag to the point where I wonder if it’s altogether stopped. We’re supposed to be near Panther Den Wilderness, one of the seven parts of the national forest, but I haven’t seen anything that tells me we are.

Try as I might, I can’t concentrate, my thoughts spiraling back to Avery again and again. What if something happens to her? When I can’t take it anymore, I look over my shoulder, spotting Avery’s figure as it gets smaller and farther away with each step. Another few feet and I won’t even be able to see her.

Panic sets in without any warning, and I vault from the rock ledge, tearing through the woods as if I’m afraid I’ll never see her again. I’m not, I just—I don’t want her to be alone if she gets hurt, that’s all.

“Avery!” I land on a tree limb wrong and it shoots up to smack me in the forehead, adding a sting to the side of my face. I curse and keep going. At this rate, I’ll be horrendously disfigured before nightfall.

She whirls around, a speck of golden light in the distance. Her voice reaches me before I can make out her features. “Ben? Ben, what is it? Did you find the map?”

When I’m close enough to see her expression, a fist slams into my chest at the way her eyes are lit up at the sight of me. It makes me feel like an ass, and then I feel like an ass for feeling like an ass.

“I didn’t.” I slow to a jog, stopping once I’m within a few feet of Avery.

“Oh.” Avery bites her lower lip, the act sending life to parts I want to remain lifeless. “Why did you come after me then?”

“I didn’t come after you,” I quickly deny.

“Right.” She eyes me. “Why are you here then?”

I look at the world around us, full of creatures and wildlife we can’t even guess at. I shift my gaze to her expectant one. And I tell her why I really raced after her. “We’re supposed to be a team.”

“So you did come after me.” She lifts an eyebrow and waits.

“All right, fine, I came after you,” I admit reluctantly.

Avery turns her face, but not before I catch her smile.

* * * *

We’ve walked for what seems like hours—or in my case, hobbled. Not having a phone or a watch, I can’t tell for sure. You would think, at some point, we would meet up with other people. Not necessarily our coworkers, but someone. Unless we’re so completely off the grid, we’re in a place people know better than to go. Which, yeah, sure, why not? That would fit right in with how our day is going.

If it was any other situation, I might feel a spark of satisfaction at the forlorn expression on Avery’s face. As it is, I wish we were in any other situation. But we’re not. We’re here, together, lost in Illinois country inside of a national forest.

I look at Avery. Her legs are covered in scratches, her hair looking more brown than blonde from the dirt that’s seeped into her scalp and around the locks. Her makeup is smeared, and faint enough that I see a smattering of freckles coating her nose and cheeks. I didn’t even know she had freckles. She’s an absolute mess—and she’s prettier than I’ve ever seen her, a fact that puts an ache in my temples and in my groin.

Her face brightens. “Wait! I just remembered! The map! I remember I have the…” She reaches in her pocket, and then the other three. Her shoulders slump. The light fades from her eyes.

“You have the?” I prompt, already knowing what she doesn’t have. That map is long gone by now.

“I have nothing. No, wait. I have dirt.” Avery opens her hand, palm down, and brown dust falls to coat the ground.

“Now what, partner?” I don’t mean to sound sarcastic, but I hear it drip from my words all the same.

Avery shakes her head, her face about to crumple. She whirls around, holding that pose until I hear a long exhale. When she faces me, her spine is straight, and her expression is fierce. “We keep going until we find a trail, or people. We find something.”

I have to admire her drive, whatever my misgivings where Avery Scottam’s concerned.

“Good plan.” I nod, pausing a moment before I drop the information bomb. “Only we are in a national forest—a national forest that’s over three hundred thousand acres in size. There are seven wilderness retreats inside it, and those make up only ten percent of the forest. The rest is unknown territory. And I don’t know where one ends and the other begins.”

“Then what do you suggest?” she says through her teeth.

I rub my face, already weary from this ordeal, and I get the feeling it’s only just begun. “I don’t know. Sit and wait? Moving around is going to get us more lost.”

“No.” Avery jabs a finger at me, grazing my nose.

“No?”

“No. I’m not sitting and I’m not waiting.” She shakes her head. “Life doesn’t come to you; you have to go to it.”

I make an incredulous sound. My exasperation knows no bounds when it comes to this woman. “Avery, this isn’t work. You aren’t pitching some inspirational slogan or greeting card speech. There is no makeup account, no athletic apparel company. It’s just you and me.”

“I would win if there was,” she retorts waspishly.

“Win? Did you listen to any part of Duke’s speech last month? It isn’t about winning. Any sale the company gets is good for all of us.” I sound like a hypocrite as I spew forth Duke’s words. I feel like one too. “We’re not supposed to try to outdo each other. We’re supposed to support one another at Sanders and Sisters. We’re supposed to be family.”

She just looks at me, steely-eyed and motionless.

I sigh. “All right, I didn’t listen to the speech either. If I had—if we all had—maybe we wouldn’t be here right now.”

“Do you think he meant it?”

“Who meant what?” I ask, annoyed by the vague question.

“Duke. When he called us family, do you think he meant it?”

I find the question odd, as well as the way she waits expectantly, never once shifting her gaze from me. “I have not one clue, and frankly, I don’t care right now.”

“I wonder why we haven’t seen any of the others,” she says absently, her eyes skimming the vicinity as if she’s hoping one of our coworkers will pop up from behind a tree and rescue us.

“Because they’re where they should be, and we are not.”

Avery looks at me, frowning. “You blame me for us being lost, don’t you?”

“No,” I bite out.

I don’t blame Avery for us being lost. I do blame her for a lot of other things though, like us being sent here in the first place. Things were fine until she came along and upended Sanders and Sisters, along with my reality. She stole commissions from me one by one with an innocent smile and feigned ignorance. It was as ifshe specifically had it out for me, outpitching me any chance she got.

I was Duke Renner’s number one, and then, I wasn’t.

Avery turns to me, a hint of the sweet, citrus scent somehow remaining. “Do you have any idea at all where we are?” she asks. The determined set of her jaw wavered at some point over the last few hours; the fierce light in her eyes dimmed.

I rub my jaw. “I’m guessing we’re on a direct route to hell.”

“But really, do you?”

All I have to do is look at her.

Avery’s shoulders slump.

Even though neither of us say the words out loud, she knows it as well as I do.

We are so fricking lost.

And I don’t mean a little lost. I mean, we have not a single clue as to where we are, where we started, or where we need to go. I can feel us getting sucked into the wilderness; it’s an unseen hand that guides us into nowhere. Clearly, the employees of Extreme Retreat overestimated our ability to stay on course, because we have nothing in the backpack to alert anyone as to our location.

Avery studies the land. “We have to run into someone else eventually, right? We can’t be the only ones out here.”

I don’t even bother answering that. I’m a city guy from Illinois who’s never set foot on anything remotely resembling a mountain. And Avery? Avery doesn’t like to be outside. We’re doomed.

Avery’s quiet for a moment. “Is the national forest really that big?”

“Bigger than you realize,” I answer honestly.

She quickly looks away, but not before I see the resignation in her eyes. Something about seeing Avery beaten down makes me uncomfortable, which is exactly the opposite of how I thought it would make me feel.

“I want to keep moving,” Avery announces. “I can’t stand not moving.”

“I read that if you ever get lost you should stay in one spot.”

Avery shakes her head. “I want to walk, Ben. I’ll go without you if I have to.”

“That’s not smart.”

She stares woodenly back.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair.

Avery doesn’t move.

Maybe I’m as gullible as everyone else, I think as I contemplate giving in to her in order to not see Avery sad. I shake my head. No way that’s it. But then I vow something I have no right doing. “We can walk for a while. We’ll find the lodge, don’t worry.”

A faint shine returns to her eyes, some straightness to her spine, and I realize something. I am as susceptible to her charm as everyone else. I inwardly shake my head at myself. I’m a fool, plain and simple. The glimpses of a softer Avery Scottam are lies. They don’t really exist. I have to remember that. Still, if any part of her is genuine, I hope it’s the part she’s showing me now.

I let out a noisy breath of air and lift an eyebrow at my teammate. “Ready for some more walking?”

Avery nods, and we continue on our path to an undesignated destination.