Читать книгу Falling: The Complete Angels Among Us Series - Linn Halton B. - Страница 15

The morning after the night before is surprisingly relaxed considering the potential awkwardness of the situation. Because we were both sober, clearly it meant something. What exactly, I’m not sure either of us has yet been able to work out. Alex isn’t regretful at all and certainly wasn’t last night; in fact we spent most of it awake and wrapped up in each other’s arms. The only thing he said that made me feel uneasy, was when he snuggled into my neck and let out a sigh.

“It’s not right Ceri,” he murmured in a low voice, and his breath on my skin made my heart miss a beat. “I’m using you and it’s not fair.”

“How can you use someone when you aren’t hiding anything?” I retorted. Hey, I’m a big girl and I can make my own decisions. It all feels very right to me, but I can’t say that in case it’s too much, too soon. One day, maybe in the not too distant future. I begin to feel like I’m trying to trap him and that isn’t the case. Or am I simply trying to fool myself?

We call into my place on the way to work so that I can put on some fresh clothes. Alex seems comfortable enough waiting for me, and when I finish changing and walk into the sitting room he’s reading one of the books off the shelf.

“Can I borrow this one?” he asks, holding it up.

“Living with Angels by Ethan Morris. It’s a good book.” I nod, thinking that of all the books I have that’s probably the one I would have recommended. Does it mean we’re getting even closer and Alex is keen to understand a little more about the other side of my life?

It’s an easy start to the day, but once we hit the office things start going wrong. Mason is in a really bad mood and everyone is on edge. The fact that Alex and I arrive together is unusual and doesn’t go unnoticed. Mason hauls me into his office five minutes later.

He starts complaining that we’re running behind on the schedule and implies that our minds aren’t on the job.

“I don’t encourage relationships between members of my staff,” he sneers. I feel my face colouring. I have to bite my tongue not to bring up the out of hours socialising that went with the job he’d offered me. “And you’re late.” It isn’t true of course, we were bang on time, but then we usually arrive early and never together. It would be today, when everything was kicking off, that we were the last to arrive. I walk back to the office and Alex looks up at me a little sheepishly.

“I’ve got you into trouble,” he says.

“It’s no big deal, Mason’s in a mood because one of the clients isn’t happy. It’s not even anything to do with us. Let’s keep our heads down until the panic is over.”

***

At the end of the day Alex gives me a lift home.

“Why don’t you stay?” I offer, keeping my fingers crossed he’ll give in.

“I can’t, it wouldn’t be right.”

My face falls and he looks cross.

“Ceri, I’ve been straight with you from the start. Last night was a big mistake, the first time it was the alcohol. Last night it was passion: a relationship is about more than that and I’m sorry it happened.”

I’m stunned. He didn’t look sorry last night or this morning. “I wish you’d be honest with me. You don’t really regret last night, do you? It didn’t feel that way and I thought—”

“You thought I was falling for you? I’ve told you the situation I’m in and there can never be anything long-term between us. I took advantage of you, what more can I say other than I’m sorry and it was wrong of me? I’m a man, we do that sort of thing. You are a beautiful young woman Ceri and any man would find it hard to say no to you.”

His words sting. My head is all over the place while I struggle to understand what he’s saying. Did he think I had come on to him? I cast my mind back, one minute we were talking and then the next he was pressing up against me. He kissed me. I’m sure of it.

“Does it matter whose fault it was? That doesn’t make it wrong, not if it felt right at the time,” I raise my voice, angry because I can’t understand why we’re arguing.

He crosses his arms, his body language telling me not to invade his space and risk stepping closer. “Perhaps you make it too easy,” he throws at me, and that’s the final straw.

“If that’s what you think then you’d better leave,” I say and he follows me to the door. I slam it behind him and lean against the wall, willing my racing heart to slow down.

I’m not exactly sure what happened. Is he saying I’m a tease, or that I’m trying to trap him because he’s made it clear his heart belongs to someone else? Where are my angels when I need a little help for me? It seems they have gone rather quiet lately and I wonder why that might be.

***

I can’t eat so I go to bed early, grabbing the first book on hand. I flip a few pages but my mind keeps going over and over the words that Alex flung at me. I can’t understand what’s going on with him. There’s something more he isn’t telling me but I have no way of finding out unless he opens up. And I doubt that’s likely now.

Even worse, he doesn’t turn up for work the next morning and Mason hauls me in to ask what’s going on.

“This is precisely why I don’t encourage staff to bring their personal lives into work.” He gets up from his chair and comes to stand in front of me. “Lover’s tiff was it?”

I turn, I’ve had enough and I don’t have to take this, but he grabs my wrist roughly. His grip is tight and it hurts. I stop struggling as he spins me around.

“Don’t think you can flaunt your little affair in front of me and get away with it.” For a moment I wonder if he’s going to lash out at me. What on earth does he mean? “I’m not the jealous type. I have more to offer you than Alex could ever hope to have.”

“Please let me go.” My voice is strong and I hold his gaze without fear. “Or I will scream.” I don’t think he realises he has me in a vice-like grip and when he lets go he too seems shocked by what just happened. I turn and run out of the office, down the corridor, grab my things and leave.

My heart is pounding and my eyes are filling with tears that threaten to obscure my vision as I leave the building. It’s over, I’m done.