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CHAPTER 4 – LUNCH WITH A LOON
ОглавлениеFrom: Renee Greene – June 4, 2012 – 3:00 PM
To: cassidy
Cc: Ashley Price, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: lets be friends
Thanks for getting in touch with us, Cassidy. I think it’s a great idea for us to get to know each other better. Shelley mentioned to me that she is going to be out of town, and we’ll have to see what Ashley says when she returns from the honeymoon. But I’m happy to do lunch. What about Tuesday the 12th at noon? Would you mind if we did someplace other than Mel’s though?
From: cassidy– June 4, 2012 – 5:02 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Ashley Price, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: lets be friends
sounds good to me. how about the o in venice? im working with a client nearby in the morning. do you know it?
h’s & k’s,
cassidy
From: Renee Greene – June 5, 2012 – 9:14 AM
To: cassidy
Cc: Ashley Price, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: lets be friends
I am familiar with the O in Venice. Had a weird first date there once. I’ll tell you all about it. See you on the 12th.
From: Shelley Manning – June 5, 2012 – 10:22 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: lets be friends
“O” no you didn’t plan another trip to that organic restaurant? I remember that dude. I’m eager to hear which of these lunch dates is worse – an annoying Barbie doll with a Southern accent and incredible calves or an environmental do-gooder that made you feel like the world’s worst polluter. Hard to choose. Either way, good times for you.
From: Renee Greene – June 5, 2012 – 10:28 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: lets be friends
I’m looking forward to it. She seems sweet and this is important to Mark. He’s done so much for me, including being the reason I met Ethan, helping Ethan get that new job, etc. It’s the least I can do. I’ll let you know how it goes.
From: Ashley Price – June 8, 2012 – 7:02 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning, cassidy
Subject: Re: lets be friends
Just returned home from the honeymoon and let’s just say it was nice to see something in my email inbox aside from online coupons, news digest updates and spam emails about Viagra.
Sadly, I have a doctor’s appointment on the 12th and won’t be able to join you.
From: cassidy – June 8, 2012 – 10:13 PM
To: Ashley Price
Cc: Shelley Manning, Renee Greene
Subject: Re: lets be friends
well miss seeing you
h’s & k’s,
cassidy
From: Ashley Price – June 9, 2012 – 9:23 AM
To:
Cc: Renee Greene, Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: lets be friends
Dying to hear all about it, Renee. Don’t leave out any details. Mark finally has a girlfriend. This. Is. Big.
From: Renee Greene – June 9, 2012 – 11:14 AM
To: Ashley Price
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: lets be friends
I know. I know. HUGE! I will do my best to ensure she is worthy of our dear friend. And of course I will report back.
From: Renee Greene – June 12, 2012 – 8:04 PM
To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Price
Subject: Lunch with a loon
Holy cow! You are going to be SO glad you didn’t have lunch with Cassidy. She is quite possibly the looniest girl I’ve ever met.
First off, she ordered a salad for lunch. I know, Shel, you can’t stand that whole healthy-eating thing. Right off the bat, she’d have a strike against her. But she didn’t just order a salad. She said it like she was meditating and this was her mantra. “I’ll just have a salad. I’ll just have a salad. Ohhhm.” It was weird.
Next, she talked nonstop about how she believes homeopathic remedies can cure everything from pimples to cancer.
Oh, and here’s the kicker. She has four cats. Their names are Samantha, Carrie, Miranda and – you guessed it – Charlotte. You would have DIED!
From: Ashley Price – June 12, 2012 – 8:59 PM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
Wow! She sounds…interesting. Kind of sorry I missed that train wreck. But I’m sure Mark thinks the cat names are clever. As long as he’s happy, right?
From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 9:15 AM
To: Ashley Price
Cc: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
I’m about to piss my pants I’m laughing so hard! She sounds as awful as I knew she would be. Yes, I’m thrilled that I’m out of town. But I love hearing the stories. So are you going to tell Mark to give her the ol’ heave-ho?
From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 11:12 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
No. I’m not. Mark really likes her and it’s been forever and a day since he’s been in a relationship where he’s happy. I say, to each his own. If he wants to date a cat-loving, salad-eating, holiopathic (that’s someone who takes a holier-than-thou attitude toward the homeopathic – like it?) girl, then so be it.
From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 11:15 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
Holiopathic? Hilarithetic! (Something so pathetic, it’s hilarious.)
From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 11:15 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
Hilarithetic? Me or her?
From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 11:16 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
Her, Sweetie, her!
From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 11:17 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Cc: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
Whew! Love it!
From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 11:18 AM
To: Renee Greene
Cc: Ashley Price
Subject: Re: Lunch with a loon
Love it right back atcha, sister!
From: cassidy – June 13, 2012 – 3:02 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: fun!
it was fun having lunch yesterday. we should do it again soon.
h’s & k’s,
cassidy
From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 3:04 PM
To: cassidy
Bcc: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: fun!
It was fun, Cassidy. Thanks for asking me out. Yes, we will have to do it again.
From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 4:02 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: fun!
You will “have to” do it again. Do you mean you won’t be able to stop yourself from spending more time with her, or you will be compelled to spend time with her out of duty and loyalty to Finlay? My bet is on the latter.
From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 4:04 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: fun!
LOL! Okay, seriously, behave! Mark likes her so we need to like her, too.
From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 4:08 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: fun!
So I was right. It is the latter.
From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 4:09 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: fun!
A little of both, okay? So be nice.
From: Shelley Manning – June 13, 2012 – 4:09 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: fun!
You’re no fun. Or, as Cassidy would say, “your no fun.”
From: Renee Greene – June 13, 2012 – 4:10 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: fun!
Again, LOL! And behave!
From: cassidy – June 16, 2012 – 1:13 PM
To: <undisclosed recipients>
Subject: Fwd: Cats on Parade!
super cute video. enjoy!
h’s & k’s,
cassidy
From: Ashley Gordon – June 16, 2012 – 2:22 PM
To: <undisclosed recipients>
Subject: Email address change
Please note that I have a new email address. It’s the same as before, but Ashley Gordon instead of Ashley Price. Please be sure to add it to your address book. Thank you.
From: Shelley Manning – June 16, 2012 – 3:56 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Fwd: Fwd: Cats on Parade!
WTF?!? I just read something on Facebook about how even the calendar says WTF after Tuesday. HA-LARIOUS! Seriously, the calendar must have been copied on this insipid video about cats. So, again WTF?!?
From: Renee Greene – June 16, 2012 – 4:06 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Cats on Parade!
That’s actually quite clever. Me like!
And insipid? Fancy word. Me like this too!
Honestly, I find these things to be creepy and useless. But apparently she loves cats. Easy enough to delete and move on.
From: Shelley Manning – June 16, 2012 – 4:08 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Cats on Parade!
I don’t think I can erase this from my brain. Wish I could delete her!
From: Renee Greene – June 16, 2012 – 4:09 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Cats on Parade!
You’re too much.
From: Shelley Manning – June 16, 2012 – 4:10 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Fwd: Fwd: Cats on Parade!
No, I’m just enough.
From: Renee Greene – June 19, 2012 – 9:04 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: UNACCEPTABLE!
I love our email chatting and all, but I miss hearing your voice. I don’t remember the last time I heard it. Honestly, this fact saddens me. I know you are busy, but I long for your company. How can we remedy this?
From: Shelley Manning – June 19, 2012 – 9:12 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: UNACCEPTABLE!
My goodness. You certainly sound desperate. I’m flattered…and a little bit horrified.
Seriously, I know I’ve been über busy lately and I miss you tons, too.
I’m in Seattle right now. Can we make a plan to meet at Mel’s on Friday?
From: Renee Greene – June 19, 2012 – 9:16 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: UNACCEPTABLE!
Yes! I will be there and will longingly await, with bated breath (that expression was first coined by Shakespeare in The Merchant of Venice, FYI), for your arrival. (HA! Figured you could use a bit more “flattered…and horrified” before we sign off.)
From: Shelley Manning – June 19, 2012 – 9:18 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: UNACCEPTABLE!
Thanks. I’ll carry that around in my heart until we see each other in a few days.
From: Renee Greene – June 19, 2012 – 9:19 AM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: UNACCEPTABLE!
Ew! Now I’m a little horrified. That really is creepy. ;)
From: Shelley Manning – June 19, 2012 – 9:20 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: UNACCEPTABLE!
You started it! Mwah! Mwah!
