Читать книгу Soldier Bodyguard - Lisa Childs - Страница 13

How could he protect someone when he couldn’t be in the same room with her? That wasn’t completely Cole’s fault, though. Shawna had yet to remain in any one area. Maybe it was just that she was moving from guest to guest, speaking softly with everyone as she accepted their condolences and expressed her own to them.

Or maybe, as he strongly suspected, she was trying to avoid him—because every time he entered a room, she left it.

And there were a lot of rooms in his grandfather’s house, so many that Cole had been able to do his best to avoid his family. They were all here, all still living in the French provincial mansion. Even his mother lived here with his stepfather. And of course his two uncles and their assorted offspring would never venture out on their own.

But he had had no idea how entwined their lives were with Shawna’s yet. He had broken up with her nearly six years ago, yet she seemed more a part of his family than he had ever been.

Of course that had been different when his father was alive. Then Cole had felt as if he’d belonged—at least with his father. Coleman Bentler Sr. had not lived here. Nor had he worked for Xavier, like his older brothers did. He’d made his own money and his own way in the world.

But when Dad had died...

To Cole, he had bequeathed all of his money and his family’s resentment. Cole could understand why his mother would have been angry. Tiffani and his father had never been happily married. In fact, she’d admitted to purposely getting pregnant to trap him into marriage. In the end, Coleman had gotten his revenge when he’d cut her out of his will along with a lot of other relatives who for some reason thought they were entitled to inherit.

No, these people who glared at Cole with such hatred and anger were not his family.

His unit was his true family. He’d been a fool to worry about what they’d think of his wealth. When they’d seen the house, not one of them had made a comment or even blinked in surprise. Money didn’t matter to this family of his. Manny, Cooper, Lars and Dane were like his brothers. The rest of the unit, the ones who were still enlisted, they were his extended family—the ones he didn’t get to see all that often but who were forever in his heart and thoughts.

Shawna had been forever in his heart and thoughts. He’d loved her so much that he had never wanted anything but happiness for her, even at the expense of his own. Had she been happy with Emery?

The guy had called him once and wanted to talk to Cole. But he had been about to leave for another mission and hadn’t had the time or the inclination. Nor would he have been able to handle the distraction. The last thing he’d wanted to do was have a discussion with the man sleeping with the woman Cole had loved. He couldn’t remember exactly what he’d said to the guy to get rid of him, but it probably hadn’t been too nice.

He felt a pang of regret now as he approached the urn. It had been set up on a table in the library, flanked with flowers and photos of the dark-haired, dark-eyed man. Emery Little had been a good-looking guy—the kind of guy who was so good-looking he was almost pretty. Or maybe that was just more of Cole’s jealousy seeping out.

“Did you know my daddy?” a soft voice asked, and small fingers grasped his arm, tugging on it to draw his attention.

As Cole looked down at the little girl, he felt another pang. But he couldn’t identify it. Was it regret that she wasn’t his child? Jealousy that she was another man’s? Or was it just that she reminded him so damn much of her mother?

She looked so much like Shawna, just like a little doll, with her mother’s black, silky hair and porcelain skin. She didn’t have Shawna’s warm brown eyes, though. The child’s were a deep, bright blue.

“Did you know Daddy?” she asked again as she stared up at him.

He shook his head. “No. I knew your mother...” Or at least he’d thought he had. But he’d been wrong, painfully wrong.

Her eyes brightened with recognition, and she exclaimed, “I know who you are!”

Had Shawna showed her daughter his photo before? She would have had enough of them—from every prom and homecoming dance they’d attended—along with all the candid pictures she used to take of him. Or had she destroyed all of those when he’d ended their engagement?

The little girl answered his unspoken question when she exclaimed, “You’re Grampa X’s grandson!”

His grandfather had photos of him around the house. At graduation, in his uniform.

But then he tensed as he realized what she’d called his grandfather. “Grampa X?”

Why would she refer to him as that?

Could she be...

Cole’s heart slammed against his ribs as the thought occurred to him. Could she be his?

Shawna had been so busy avoiding Cole that she’d lost track of her daughter. There were so many people in Xavier’s home—so many mourners. Emery had been a wonderful man, sweet and caring. He hadn’t deserved to die like he had. But then nobody did.

He had only been gone a couple of days, and she already missed him—so much. And so did Maisy. But Shawna didn’t miss Emery like she’d missed Cole. While she’d loved Emery, she’d never been in love with him.

He hadn’t cared, though. He hadn’t been in love with her either. They had only been very good friends. And because neither had been able to spend their lives with the one they really loved, they had decided to build a life together—for Shawna’s baby.

Maisy...

Where had she gone?

Had all the sympathy and tears gotten to be too much for her? It had for Shawna.

She felt like a hypocrite. Everyone thought she and Emery had had the perfect marriage. But they hadn’t had a real marriage at all.

But maybe that was what had made it perfect. They hadn’t had to deal with the mess of real love—with the passion, with the insecurity and hurt.

After Cole, Shawna had vowed to never again risk that kind of pain. And she’d vowed to be Emery’s wife. She’d never expected him to leave her like this.

She had thought that maybe someday he would leave her to finally be with the person he really loved. She had wished him that happiness, and for the past few days, he’d seemed hopeful that it might finally be possible.

Was that person here among the other mourners? Shawna had no idea who it was. Emery had never told her the name of his beloved. Maisy might know, though. She was the epitome of little pitchers having big ears; the child never missed a bit of gossip.

Unfortunately...

Was she hiding somewhere now, eavesdropping on conversations? Or had she gone to the library to find solace in her books?

Shawna slipped through a group of mourners in the hall, passing them with nods but not letting them stop her. She had a sudden instinct that she needed to find Maisy. Now. She quickened her step and rushed through the open pocket doors into the library. And a gasp slipped through her lips when she found Maisy—talking to her father.

Cole stared down at the little girl, and Shawna could see the speculation on his face. He was wondering...

If he realized...

He would hate her even more than Shawna hated him.

“Hey, Maisy,” she called out to her daughter. “You know what I’ve told you about talking to strangers.”

Maisy laughed as if Shawna were joking. Had the little girl figured it out? Or had she overheard the speculation about her paternity that had been rampant ever since Shawna had started showing. Fortunately it had taken a while for her pregnancy to show. Or it wouldn’t have been just speculation.

“Cole isn’t a stranger, Mommy,” Maisy protested. “He’s Grampa X’s grandson.”

Cole turned toward Shawna and arched one of his dark blond brows. “Grampa?”

“He insists she call him that,” Shawna said, “since we’ve been staying with him.” Actually he’d insisted on it even before that. She suspected he knew the truth, although he’d never outright asked her.

“You live here?” Cole asked, his jaw dropping in shock.

“I work for your grandfather,” she said. She hadn’t intended to quit her job at the hospital, but Xavier hadn’t had to do much to talk her into it. She’d been devastated when he’d come into the ER while she was working. He’d been so close to death.

She had already lost so many people she cared about. She had vowed to do whatever she could to keep Xavier alive. But that had meant quitting her job at the ER. She’d even had to scale back on the hours she spent at the high school as assistant coach to the cheerleading squad. And that was a job she’d done since she’d been in high school herself. That was the job that had brought about her friendship with Emery.

Had nobody told Cole that she was working for his grandfather now? But then he rarely had anything to do with his family. She could understand his reasons regarding the rest of them.

But his grandfather...

And his mom?

She could not understand Cole cutting the two of them out of his life. She would do anything to have her family back again. But her parents had died, in a tragic accident on one of their weekly date nights, when she was so young that she sometimes struggled to remember them. Would Maisy remember Emery?

He had been so good to the little girl. He’d treated her like she was his. He could not have loved her any more had she been. Shawna hadn’t had that experience with her aunt and her cousins when she’d come to live with them. If it hadn’t been for Cole...

She would have felt so alone. But the first day of elementary school, Cole had beat up her cousin for her and had threatened he would hurt the kid worse if he ever picked on her again. Cole had been her hero back then.

Now he was her nightmare.

“I work for Grandfather now, too,” Cole said.

Her stomach twisted into knots at the reminder. “He shouldn’t have hired you,” she said. “I have no need for a bodyguard.”

“Yes, you do!” Maisy said. “I don’t want anything to happen to you!” And she burst into tears, her thin shoulders shaking with her desperate sobs.

Shawna knelt to pull the little girl into her arms. But Cole was already there, lifting up the child. The move shocked both mother and daughter, so much that Maisy immediately quieted.

While he held her on one of his mammoth arms, he tipped up her chin with his other hand. “I won’t let anything happen to your mother.”

Maisy blinked her thick black lashes and stared up at him with eyes that mirrored his. And panic clutched Shawna. How could he not know? How could he not stare into those eyes and immediately recognize that the little girl was his?

Maisy tilted her head as she studied his face. Did she see it, too? Or was she trying to determine whether or not to believe him? “Really?” she asked.

He nodded. “Yes, really,” he assured her. “I’m a bodyguard. That’s what I do—I protect people.”

A shaky little sigh slipped through Maisy’s rosebud lips. “I wished you would’ve protected Daddy.”

“I didn’t know he was in danger,” Cole told her. “Or I would’ve.”

And now he’d lied to their child twice—first when he’d promised to protect Shawna and now when he’d claimed he would have protected Emery. She was aware that her friend had tried to reach out to him. A hopeless romantic, Emery had wanted to help Shawna find her happy ending, even though at that time he’d given up on ever having his own. After that conversation with Cole, he’d given up on hers, as well.

“Emery wasn’t in danger,” Shawna said defensively. “What happened was just a horrible accident.”

“It was a bomb,” Maisy said, her little voice quavering.

Shawna flinched. Her little spy needed to stop eavesdropping on adult conversations. Unfortunately, she’d had a front row seat to the explosion.

Cole turned toward her and arched a dark blond brow again. He was surprised, too, that the child knew so much. But before Shawna could explain, Maisy added, “I heard it ’splode. It broke my window.”

The blast had broken several windows in the cute little bungalow while rattling the rest of them.

“It happened here?” Cole asked.

Shawna shook her head. “Our home.”

She had been there, packing up more of their stuff to move to the Bentler estate. Maisy had spent the night there—with Emery, who’d still been living in their house. He’d just been leaving for work.

“Grampa X says this is our home now,” Maisy said. “That he needs us to live here, to take care of ’im.”

Shawna suppressed a derisive snort. Sure, Xavier had had a heart attack. He had health issues. But he was the one taking care of them—especially now.

“Why don’t you go check on Grampa?” Shawna suggested. “Make sure he’s okay.”

The little girl nodded and wriggled down from Cole’s arms. He released her quickly, almost as if he was surprised to find himself holding her. Apparently his instinct to comfort and protect hadn’t completely deserted him. Maybe he’d lost it only that day he’d broken their engagement and Shawna’s heart. He hadn’t comforted and protected her then. He’d just walked away.

Maisy hadn’t walked away yet. Despite wriggling out of his arms, she caught his hand and tugged on it until he hunched over so they were face to face. Then she lifted her other hand to his cheek and stared into his eyes.

She was such an observant little girl, which unnerved Shawna for so many reasons. How would she feel if she learned the truth? Would she hate Shawna for lying to her?

“You promise you will protect my mommy?” the little girl asked the bodyguard.

Cole stared at her for several long seconds before solemnly nodding and replying, “I promise.”

His word was good enough for the little girl who dropped her hand from his face and scampered out of the library.

Still crouched down, Cole released an unsteady breath. And panic stole Shawna’s breath away entirely. He’d noticed. He suspected...

“She’s quite precocious,” he remarked. Then he straightened up and looked down at Shawna, his blue eyes intense. “How old is she?”

She knew what he was asking. What he wanted to know...

Unlike him, she couldn’t outright lie like he had to their daughter. “Five,” she said, then forced herself to add the word that would mislead him. “Just five.”

Implying that she’d just had a birthday, which would have made her too young to be his daughter. But Maisy hadn’t just had a birthday. That special day was actually coming up soon. In just a couple of weeks, she would be six. He couldn’t be here for her birthday, or he would know what the rest of his family only suspected.

She’d tried to convince them that Maisy had been premature. Since she was so tiny, they had believed her even though she’d actually been two weeks late. But then they’d probably wanted to believe her. They wouldn’t want Maisy to be another possible heir they would have to battle. They constantly bickered with each other—over their allowances from their grandfather and over the money they would eventually inherit from him.

That was another reason why Shawna had agreed to become Xavier’s private nurse. She wanted him to live forever, both because she loved the old man and to spite his spiteful family. They’d never treated Cole well either, especially after he’d been made the sole heir of his father’s estate.

Not that she cared about Cole anymore.

She loved Xavier, though. He had always been so good to her. All those times Cole had left her for boot camp and for those long deployments, they had bonded together over their concern for him. Even after Cole had broken up with her, she’d still been there for Xavier, offering him comfort and hope, while he worried about his favorite grandchild.

Shawna couldn’t entirely meet Cole’s blue-eyed gaze, but she could feel him staring at her. Goose bumps of awareness and fear rose on her skin. She shivered a little.

“She’s sweet,” he said. “Looks just like you did.”

“My mini-me,” she said. “That’s what Emery always called her.” Her voice cracked as she thought of her dear friend. More tears threatened despite the fact that she should have already been completely dried out. She blinked them back.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” he said.

It was a loss. But it wasn’t her first one. Not by far.

First she’d lost her parents. And then she had lost the love of her life: Cole. She would not feel sorry for herself, though, not when she had so many other blessings.

Like Maisy...

Emery was the one who had lost everything—his life.

“I don’t understand it,” she mused. “I don’t understand why anyone would want to harm Emery.”

“I read the police report,” Cole said. “The bomb wasn’t in his car. It was in yours. The bomb was meant for you.”

Shawna gasped, feeling as though she’d been punched. Of course it had been her car. She hadn’t been using it since she’d started working for Xavier. He always insisted that she use his car and driver. So when Emery’s vehicle hadn’t started that morning, she’d suggested he use hers. She’d urged him to take it and keep it.

The little SUV had just been sitting in the garage for weeks. She’d teased him about letting the newer vehicle sit while he continued to drive his clunker. But because theirs had never been a real marriage, Emery had always been hesitant about using anything of hers. He had been hesitant that morning, too.

If only she hadn’t pushed him. She should have had him use Xavier’s car and driver instead. But then she and Maisy might have gotten into hers.

She didn’t care about her own life. But Maisy was just a child. She had her entire life ahead of her.

The tears rushed over Shawna again, and she couldn’t fight them this time. Sobs racked her body, making her tremble. Then strong arms wound around her, drawing her against a hard, muscular body. And she began to tremble even harder as fear overwhelmed her.

Now she wasn’t just afraid for Maisy but she was also afraid for her heart. It was reacting to Cole’s closeness. It was pounding fast and furiously, and beneath her cheek, she could feel his heart pounding just as fast and furiously.

No. He could not be her bodyguard because no matter what promise he’d made their daughter, he would not be able to protect her.

Even if that bomb had been meant for her, like he’d claimed, he still posed the greater threat to her. She still reacted to him, just as she had when she’d loved him. And she could not fall for him again.

Loving him last time had nearly destroyed her. If she fell for him again, she was terrified she might not survive.

Xavier Bentler smiled as he softly slid the pocket door closed on the couple embracing inside the library. He didn’t want anyone to interrupt them. Not even their daughter. When Maisy had caught him standing in the hallway, he’d sent her off to the kitchen to get him some cookies. Fortunately Shawna hadn’t banned them from the house like she had his cigars.

He turned away from the door and slammed into what felt like a steel post. Cooper Payne steadied him with a strong hand on his shoulder.

“You’re playing a dangerous game,” the younger man warned him.

“What game?” Xavier asked, feigning innocence.

“My mother’s a wedding planner,” Cooper related. “I know a matchmaker when I see one.”

Xavier shrugged. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. My nurse is obviously in danger. She needs protection.” He had a bad feeling that she could be in danger because of him.

“And you could have hired any other security firm besides ours,” Cooper said. “You could have even hired one of my brother’s franchises of the Payne Protection Agency. But you chose mine. No.” He pointed toward the closed pocket doors. “You chose him.”

Unabashed, Xavier nodded in agreement. “Of course I did. He’s my grandson. I know he’s the best.”

And he also knew nobody would protect Shawna like Cole would. Xavier was pretty damn sure that was why the stubborn young fool had broken their engagement all those years ago. Cole had been trying to protect Shawna from the pain of losing him.

Damn fool. He’d just put her through that pain sooner.

His grandson’s boss studied him through narrowed blue eyes. The guy was shrewd. Xavier understood why he was friends with Cole.

“He’s good,” Cooper acknowledged. “All my guys—and my sister—are very good. They will do everything within their power to keep Shawna and her daughter safe.”

“Good,” Xavier said as he released a breath of relief. “That’s what I hired you to do.”

Cooper snorted. “We both know that’s not the only reason you hired us. You’re playing matchmaker. And that’s a dangerous game.”

“More dangerous than bombs?”

“When emotions are involved, things get messy,” Cooper warned. “People get distracted. Cole can’t afford to be distracted right now. You hiring him has put him in even more danger than she is—in even more danger than he was on our missions for the Marine Corps.”

Xavier tensed as fear replaced his earlier satisfaction. “How’s that?”

“Because Cole will give up his life for hers,” Cooper said.

“But you’re all here,” Xavier said. “You’ll all work together to keep her safe.”

“Her,” Cooper said. “But Cole’s going to be more worried about protecting her and that child than himself. He’s now in more danger than she is.”

Xavier hadn’t considered that. He’d known his grandson had defied odds before—in the Marines, even in his new role as bodyguard. But he hadn’t considered that the job he had hired him to do could be the one that would get him killed.

What the hell had he done?