Читать книгу Daddy Bombshell - Lisa Childs - Страница 9

This time Caroline opened the door to his knock. And no one was surprised, like when Mark had let Thad into their house. Then she had been on the phone with Tammy when the doorbell rang, so her son had beaten her to the door and totally disregarded the rule of not opening it unless he knew who was at it.

This time she’d known Thad was coming because she had invited him. But still her heart started beating faster at the sight of him. Fluffy snowflakes melted in his dark hair and clung to his high cheekbones and strong jaw. She stepped back to let him inside, but he hesitated, glancing over his shoulder.

She followed his gaze to the street. Was he waiting for someone? A lawyer? That was why she’d called him—because she hadn’t wanted to force him to fight for his parental rights. With the full resources of the Kendall money and power, he couldn’t lose.

But she could potentially lose her son. Her salary barely stretched to cover her mortgage, Mark’s day care and their living expenses. She couldn’t afford a lawyer, too.

Thad finally stepped inside and closed the door, shutting out the snow and the cold and whoever he might have been looking for.

“Is Mark here?” he asked, glancing around the inside of the house like he had the outside.

Was that a habit he’d picked up from traveling to war-torn countries? He’d probably had to learn to be vigilant in order to stay alive. A lot of reporters hadn’t made it back from the places Thad had been.

Caroline drew in a shaky breath. “Mark is upstairs.”

“So you’re not worried about him hearing us fight?” he asked with a glance toward the open stairwell.

“I’m not going to fight you.”

“What does that mean?” he asked. His eyes, which were the same sapphire-blue of his son’s, widened in surprise. “You’re going to let me see him?”

Her stomach tightened with nerves, but she couldn’t deny her son the chance to get to know his father. Given Thad’s lifestyle, this could possibly be the only chance the boy would ever get. Too bad he would probably be too young to remember him. “If that’s what you really want …”

“He’s my son. Of course I want to see him,” he replied, as if offended by her suggestion. “I’ve already missed so much.”

“And you’ll miss even more when you leave again.”

He ducked his chin as if she’d taken a swing at him. But he didn’t deny that he would leave. “I have a job to do.”

“You don’t have to leave St. Louis to be a reporter,” she pointed out. “You could get a job at any station or paper in the city.”

“Not reporting the story,” he said. “In St. Louis, I would be the story.”

“Because of the shooting.”

Everyone else had been so surprised that Thad Kendall had killed a man. Everyone but Caroline. Beneath his charm and devastating grin, there was a ruthlessness that she had glimpsed the day he’d left her without even a backward glance.

He had a single-minded intensity about his job that seemed to be about more than achieving success or fame. She suspected there was much more to Thad Kendall than anyone realized.

And he was her son’s father. She swallowed a sigh.

“You’re not looking at me like everyone else has been,” he said. He was actually the one looking at her, his gaze intent on her face.

“How’s that?” She had barely let herself look at him at all, as she was determined to not let her foolish heart rule her head once again. She would not fall for Thad Kendall, no matter how damn handsome he was.

“All my family,” he said, “even members of the press keep looking at me like I’m going to fall apart because I pulled the trigger and killed a man.”

“I think you’ve had to do a lot harder things than that in your life,” she admitted.

He jerked his head in a grim nod. Then he stepped closer and skimmed his fingers along her jaw. “Leaving you was one of the hardest.”

She sucked in a breath as her traitorous heart slammed against her ribs. “Don’t.” She moved back so that his hand fell away from her face. “Just don’t …”

“It’s true.”

“You left and never looked back,” she reminded him. “I’m not looking back, either. I’m looking ahead to when you leave again and I have to explain to Mark.”

“I’ll explain to Mark that it’s my job to go to other countries.”

“Will you want to make a clean break with him, too?” She’d worried about that for the past few sleepless nights since her son had opened the door to his father. Mark had had so many questions about the stranger who’d come to their house, and he had deserved to know the truth.

“No. I’ll stay in contact with him,” he promised as he stepped closer again. His voice dropped to an intimate murmur. “And with you …”

His lips curved into that devastating grin. He was arrogant—he couldn’t look like he did and not realize how women wanted him. And he was a Kendall, used to getting what he wanted, and apparently since he was back in St. Louis, he wanted her.

With an effort she steadied her racing pulse and shook her head. “I don’t want a relationship with you.”

His grin faded. “Caroline …”

“Truthfully, I don’t want you to have a relationship with Mark,” she said, keeping her voice low so that her son wouldn’t overhear. “I’m afraid you’re going to break his heart like you did mine.”

He groaned. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know,” she admitted. “And you won’t mean to hurt him, either. But you will.”

“So what do you want me to do?” he asked. “Pretend that I never saw him? That I don’t know I have a son? Do you want me to just walk away?”

That was the problem. She didn’t want him to walk away. Ever. But he would. “It’s what you do best.”

“Damn it! You’re not being fair!”

“No. I’m not,” she readily agreed. But she needed to keep reminding herself that she couldn’t fall for him again. She wouldn’t be able to help heal her son’s broken heart if she was dealing with her own.

“I didn’t know how much I hurt you,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

She shook her head, refusing his apology. “I’m over you,” she said, trying to convince them both of that. “And I intend to stay over you.”

“If you’re so over me, why haven’t you moved on?” he challenged her. “Why aren’t you married or involved with someone else?”

“How—how do you know that I’m not involved with someone?” she asked.

“Since finding out about Mark, I checked with some of my sources.…”

Damn Tammy. “I’m focused on my son right now,” she said, “not dating.”

“I can’t believe men haven’t been beating down your door to take you out,” he said.

She laughed at the outrageous compliment, refusing to be charmed again. Mark was three and a half, but she had fifteen pounds of baby weight to lose yet. Maybe twenty.

“You’re beautiful,” he said. “Even more beautiful now than you were four years ago.”

Her stomach muscles tightened with desire, but she shook her head. “I am smarter now than I was four years ago. I’m not going to fall for your patented Kendall charm.”

“Patented?”

“Already at three, Mark has it. He can wrap me completely around his little finger.” Just like Thad used to be able to do.

“You’re not immune to me,” he said, his voice husky and his eyes bright with desire. “And I can prove it to you.”

When she opened her mouth to ask him how, his lips were there covering hers. His tongue delved deep, stroking over hers, stroking her passion from flickering flame to full conflagration. He’d wrapped his arms around her, too, so that she couldn’t step back. But she didn’t want to get away; she wanted to get closer. His chest pressed against hers, his heart beating the same frantic rhythm as hers.

“Hey!” exclaimed a little voice, full of curiosity. “What are you doing to my mommy?”

They broke apart as guiltily as teenagers caught necking on the couch. Caroline would have laughed at the shock on Thad’s flushed face if she hadn’t felt more like crying. She didn’t know what was bringing her closer to tears—the kiss or the fact that her son had interrupted it.

THAD’S SKIN BURNED, his fingers numb from the cold as he rolled a snowball across Caroline’s front yard. He’d brought no gloves with him and Caroline’s were too small. But when Mark had asked him to build another snowman to go with the lopsided one already in their front yard, Thad had been unable to refuse no matter how many excuses he’d had to do just that.

She was right. The kid had the Kendall charm but with Caroline’s innate kindness and generosity.

“I can roll it,” Mark said, putting his mittened hands over Thad’s. “You’re cold.”

Maybe his skin was cold, but the rest of him was still on fire from kissing Caroline. If Mark hadn’t interrupted them …

Caroline probably would have pulled away. She was over him. He’d kissed her to prove her wrong, but instead he’d proved to himself that he wasn’t over her. Not even close.

He wanted more than a kiss, but she wanted nothing from him but for him to not hurt their son. He stared at the tiny, mittened hands clasping his, and his heart twisted in his chest.

“Just a li’l bigger,” the boy directed. When the snowball grew to the size of a beach ball, he stopped and tried to lift it.

Thad lifted it instead, setting it atop the other two balls they’d formed into the base of the snowman. The lopsided snowman was actually a snow lady, and he and Mark had already made a snow boy. “There. It’s done.”

Mark shook his head. “We gotta make his face.” He reached in his pocket for the things that Caroline had given him after she’d bundled him into a snowsuit, boots, mittens, scarf and hat.

She was a great mom, just as he’d known she would be. That was another reason he’d forced himself to leave her four years ago. She’d deserved more than he was capable of giving. Because of his real job, he’d never intended to be a husband or a father. He hadn’t wanted to leave a family behind like Len Michaels had.

But he had left behind a son … without ever realizing he’d become a father.

“Here,” Mark said, shoving a carrot into Thad’s cold hand. “You’re gonna have to put it on ‘cuz I’m not big enough.”

Thad handed back the carrot and then, his hands shaking slightly, he slid them around his son and lifted him onto his shoulders. “You’re big enough now.”

A giggle slipped from Mark’s lips. “I’m too big now.” He wrapped one arm around Thad’s neck and leaned forward to reach their snowman. His tongue sticking out between his lips in concentration, he carefully arranged the carrot and a collection of colored stones to make the snowman’s face, which he must have been comparing to Thad’s because he kept looking back and forth between them.

“Mommy says these rocks are the same color as my eyes,” he remarked. He turned toward Thad. “They’re the same color as yours, too.”

“You look like me when I was a little boy,” Thad said.

After discovering he had a son, he’d found some of the old photo albums his aunt Angela kept in the library, and he’d flipped through the pictures of himself and his family. He hadn’t looked through the albums in years because he hadn’t wanted to see old pictures of his parents. Surprisingly there hadn’t been as many in the albums as he’d thought there would have been. The photos had mostly been of just him and his brothers and some of Natalie.

He lifted Mark from his shoulders and then crouched down to the boy’s level. “Do you know why you look like me?”

The child gave a solemn nod. “‘Cuz you’re my dad.”

Thad sucked in a breath of surprise. “You know?” Kissing Caroline had distracted him so much that he hadn’t known whether the boy actually knew who he was yet or not. Mark hadn’t said anything to Thad but to wonder what he’d been doing to his mother and then to ask him to make a snowman with him.

“When I came home from Aunt Tammy and Uncle Steve’s, Mommy told me who you are,” he said, as if it had been no big deal for his father to finally show up after three years.

“Do you have any questions for me?” Thad said. He had a million for Mark. He wanted to learn everything about the little boy, everything that he had missed.

Mark shook his head, though, and returned his attention to the cluster of snowmen. “Look!” he exclaimed with pride. “There’s a snow mommy and a snow kid and now a snow daddy.”

“Wow,” Thad said, trying to sound suitably impressed. This meant a lot to his son.

“We have a snow family,” Mark said with a bright smile of satisfaction, as if a family was something he’d wanted for a while.

Thad stood back to admire the family, but then the sound of an idling engine drew his gaze to the street beyond the picket fence. Had the white SUV followed him again?

He suspected it had been in the parking garage the day before when he’d felt someone watching him. Then he’d thought he glimpsed it near the estate, as well. But he’d made sure he wasn’t followed here, taking a circuitous route again.

And really he was probably overreacting. There were a million white SUVs. He hadn’t noted the plate, so he couldn’t be certain if the one he’d seen near the estate was the same one or even the same make and year as the one from the parking garage.

But he couldn’t shake the uneasiness he’d felt in the parking garage, the sense of foreboding that someone was watching him with an intense hatred. He glanced toward the house and confirmed that he was being watched.

Caroline stood at the living-room window, staring intently at him. He doubted she was reliving that kiss as he had and wishing they hadn’t been interrupted. He suspected instead that she was watching to make sure that he hadn’t already screwed up with Mark.

She was right to worry about his parenting skills. The only parenting he’d ever really known had been when Uncle Craig and Aunt Angela became his and his brothers’ and sister’s guardians. But that had been a long time ago.

Where he’d been the past several years had had nothing to do with family and everything to do with survival. His own and all those he’d been able to save. He had to go back to finish his assignment and make sure Michaels’s killers were brought to justice. But what kind of father could he be to Mark if he wasn’t even around?

Something struck the back of his head and exploded in shards of ice that ran down his neck and inside his collar. Thad whirled around so quickly that Mark shrieked and ran from him. He’d stayed alive for years in the most dangerous places in the world but had taken one in the head from his own kid.

He grabbed up a handful of snow and gave chase.

CAROLINE GIGGLED, echoing her son’s laughter that she could hear even through the double panes of glass. He’d nailed his father with that snowball. Thad threw a couple at him, careful to miss wide while stepping squarely in front of the ones that Mark threw back at him.

He had no hat, no gloves, not even a scarf, but he didn’t seem to care about the cold. The only thing he seemed preoccupied with was the street, as he kept glancing back at it.

Was he expecting someone or was it just a habit for him to constantly survey his surroundings? He hadn’t seen that snowball coming.

Just like she hadn’t seen his kiss coming. Or maybe she had but she’d wanted it too much to push him away. If Mark hadn’t interrupted them, she wouldn’t have stopped Thad. Being back in his arms, kissing him, had felt too good—too right. She touched her lips, which tingled yet from the contact with his. She could taste him, too, from when he’d slid his tongue between her lips deep into her mouth.

But she’d meant what she’d told him. Not about being over him—that had been a lie that he’d easily disproved. But about not wanting a relationship with him.

He was her son’s father, and that was all he would ever be to her. Not her lover. Not her boyfriend. Not even her friend.

Because she couldn’t trust him. But she wouldn’t have been able to beat him, either, if she’d fought to keep him away from Mark. Now, seeing them chase each other around the yard, she was glad that she hadn’t tried. She’d worked hard the past three years to be both mother and father to her son, but the little boy needed more than she had been able to give him.

He needed Thad.

And, as Thad grinned and laughed, she began to wonder if Thad didn’t need Mark, too. Enough to stay?

But then he glanced to the street again, his body tensing as if he’d identified a threat. To himself or to their son?

She knew when he left St. Louis that Thad put himself in danger. But she hadn’t realized until now that he could be in danger in St. Louis, as well. He had killed his sister’s stalker, but maybe in doing so, he had picked up his own. Or he had brought danger back with him from one of those war-torn countries?

She’d already had her doubts, but now she was certain that Thad Kendall was more than just a photojournalist.

Whatever else he was, he was also a father now. Would he put their son in the danger that he had constantly put himself in?