Читать книгу Know Thyself - Lisa Lawmaster Hess - Страница 10
ОглавлениеChapter 1
You’ve Got Style!
To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.
1 CORINTHIANS 12:7
Saturday morning. The house is quiet, everyone off to his or her own activities. It’s time to get this place organized. But how? And where to start?
With no definite plan, but plenty of determination to whip her house into shape, Gemma wanders upstairs and into her seven-year-old son’s room. Zane’s love for animals is in evidence. Stuffed animals fill fishnet-style hammocks in two corners of his room. More plush companions cover his bed and litter the floor, and his bookshelves are packed with a combination of books, glass animals, plastic animals, clay animals, stuffed animals, and, of course, Zane’s dinosaur collection. Scattered among all the animals are the rest of Zane’s collections: keychains, erasers, and other assorted treasures, along with a fistful of mulch in a plastic bag smack in the center of his desk. Zane loves stuff.
Gemma closes the door on Zane’s collections, hoping her daughter’s bedroom will prove to be less of a challenge. Sixteen-year-old Isabelle’s bookshelves are lined with novels, and her walls are covered in posters of exotic destinations. A field-hockey stick is propped up in one corner, where it has stood since the season ended four months ago, a reminder that a few minutes of off-season practice might be a good plan. Sketch pads and paint sets are strewn across Isabelle’s desk, and a bulletin board above her bed holds half-finished sketches, flute music, and to-do lists. The script for the musical sits propped on her nightstand, with a green highlighter as a book mark. Isabelle needs to see things.
Gemma sighs. Maybe the kids’ rooms aren’t the best place to start.
Across the hall, the home office Gemma shares with her husband is less chaotic. Evan is a Type A organizer. While a few of Gemma’s things are piled on the desk, there’s no trace of her husband’s belongings anywhere; all his things are neatly filed or put in their place. No wonder he can always seem to find what he needs when he needs it.
Gemma is organized, but in a way that makes sense only to her; and sometimes, even she is baffled by what she was thinking when she put things away. It doesn’t help that she’s usually stashing things in a rush; between work, church, PTA, and the kids’ activities, she never seems to have enough time to keep everything just so. Still, there’s no activity Gemma would relinquish. Gemma loves to be busy.
Zane, Isabelle, and Gemma illustrate the three different personal styles we’ll discuss in this book: I love stuff, I love to be busy, and I need to see it. Once we consider each family member’s personal styles, it becomes clear that each room has a certain logic.
I love stuff kids like Zane
• develop an attachment to their things;
• are often collectors and sometimes choose unusual things to collect;
• often struggle to part with their things because their “stuff” is important to them; and
• have so much stuff that they often run out of places to put everything.
While the simple solution to a pragmatic, naturally organized person (like Zane’s dad, Evan) would be to just get rid of some of the stuff, this is extremely difficult for an I love stuff person. And forcing the issue, as Evan has on several occasions, only seems to make Zane more determined to hang on to his precious possessions. Each item, it seems, has a story.
On the other hand, I need to see it kids like Isabelle
• leave things out so they’ll remember to do them;
• hate to put things away because they fear that out of sight will mean out of mind; and
• replace “to-do” lists with “to-get-to” piles.
What looks like disorganized piles to a Type A organizer is actually a system — sort of — for someone with an I need to see it personal style.
And Gemma? She’s evidence that these styles don’t just apply to kids. I love to be busy people like Gemma
• thrive on hectic schedules;
• struggle to manage their things as well as they manage their time; and
• become inundated with stuff because they haven’t found or made the time to put things where they belong – if such a place exists.
But personal styles are only half the equation. Now that we’ve looked at Zane, Isabelle, and Gemma’s personal styles, let’s look a little further to see if we can uncover their organizational styles.
Gemma decides that she can make quick work of the office, which is less cluttered than the kids’ rooms. Gathering up all her folders and piles from the week, she opens one of her desk drawers, but she can’t fit everything inside. Setting aside the thickest folder, which has her notes from Bible study, she slides everything else into the drawer, then looks around the room for somewhere to put the final folder. A glance at the open closet reveals space on one of the shelves, so she hastily stashes the folder there, closes the door, and surveys the space. One room down. Gemma’s organizational style? I know I put it somewhere.
Back in Zane’s room, Gemma must admit that the room looks better than it did earlier in the week. Zane had invited a friend over, and desperate to find two specific toys, he’d torn his room apart, dumping the animal hammocks and digging through containers. By the time he’d remembered that Gemma had given him a plastic container to put them in the last time they’d cleaned the room, the floor was littered with animals. When Gemma saw Zane’s room, she laid down the law: no play date until the room was put back together. Not wanting to turn away his friend, Zane quickly stuffed the animals back into their hammocks and shoved everything else into drawers and under his bed. Zane’s organizational style is cram and jam.
That same evening, Isabelle wanted to finish sketches she’d started several months earlier; she hoped the director might consider them as part of the set for the musical. Isabelle checked the sketches on her bulletin board but found only one of the drawings. She pulled it down and repinned the rest of the sketches back onto the bulletin board before attacking the piles on her desk. Pushing aside a pile of half-read books, Isabelle uncovered her sketchbook, but the drawings she wanted weren’t inside. Frustrated, she took her mother’s advice to retrace her steps. Picking up her book bag from the middle of the floor where she’d dropped it earlier in the day, Isabelle pulled out folders, notebooks, journals, and books. When she found the sketches tucked into a folder with her rehearsal schedule, she remembered that she’d taken them with her to rehearsal. Leaving her open backpack on the floor with its contents scattered beside it, Isabelle sat down at her desk to work on her sketches. Isabelle’s organizational style is drop and run.
Despite their struggles, Zane, Isabelle, and Gemma are more organized than they seem. They simply need to learn to use their default actions (dropping and running, for example) as clues, and transform them into organizational concepts they can use consistently. As with the personal styles, the first step is to identify the style that’s at work and look at the traits that go with it.
I know I put it somewhere people like Gemma
• may look organized, but struggle to find what they need when they need it;
• are likely to have a wide variety of unrelated things stashed together;
• organize by putting things in the place that is most convenient at the moment, rather than in a logical place; and
• lack a system and/or fail to establish consistent homes for their belongings.
Cram and jam kids like Zane
• cram things into any available open space, and jam things into spaces that are already overcrowded;
• lack an understanding of the concept of “full”;
• rarely have an organizational system, unless it’s for things that are extremely important to them; and
• may look organized — until you open up the closets and look inside the drawers.
Drop and run kids like Isabelle
• put things down instead of away;
• are unlikely to utilize systems that require multiple steps;
• can often find things where they last used them; and
• often need to retrace their steps to locate misplaced items.
Do any of the descriptions sound familiar? Take a look at the chart below and decide where you think you fit, choosing one description from the top row and one from the bottom row. Then, take the quiz on the next page to see if you can narrow things down.
Personal and Organizational Styles Quiz
Mark each item below as true or false.
1. You participate in so many activities that you have something to do nearly every night. | T | F |
2. The only way you remember to bring things with you when you leave the house is to leave them out where you’re likely to trip over them. | T | F |
3. At least one closet, dresser, or other space in your home has a number of items you no longer really need but can’t seem to get rid of. | T | F |
4. Your house looks neat, yet you struggle to find what you need when you need it. | T | F |
5. No matter how neat your papers are when you put them away, they always seem to end up wrinkled and/or torn. | T | F |
6. One look at your workspace, bed, counter, or floor reveals evidence of everything you’ve done in the last few days. | T | F |
7. Though you’ve tried, you rarely manage to put papers in the rings of three-ring binders or the pockets of pocket folders. | T | F |
8. You can often find lost items by retracing your steps. | T | F |
9. You often feel bored when you have unscheduled time. | T | F |
10. You have more stuff than room to store it. | T | F |
11. You put things away, but often forget which “safe place” you put them in. | T | F |
12. You often forget things if you don’t write them down. | T | F |
All finished? Now let’s compare your answers on the quiz to the key below. Every “true” is a clue:
1. I love to be busy.
2. I need to see it.
3. I love stuff.
4. I know I put it somewhere.
5. Cram and jam.
6. Drop and run.
7. Cram and jam or I need to see it.
8. Drop and run.
9. I love to be busy.
10. I love stuff.
11. I know I put it somewhere.
12. I need to see it.
Do the quiz answers match your predictions and observations? For most people, clear patterns will emerge, and the answers will come as no surprise. What they’ve noticed about the way they organize (or don’t) will match what they’ve predicted and where their answers land on the quiz.
Some people will be “a little bit of this and a little bit of that.” At this point in the process, that’s to be expected. Further observation, discussion, and exploration will help you determine your predominant styles. And some people really are a mix of styles, which can be beneficial. An overlap means more strategies to work with!
The most important thing to keep in mind right now is that there are no right or wrong answers on the quiz, and these styles are not personal or organizational flaws.
This shift in thinking can be challenging. Up to this point, these styles have probably been stumbling blocks to your organizational efforts, perhaps even traits you found embarrassing. Moving forward, the goal will not be to change your styles, but rather to help you view your natural tendencies as assets rather than liabilities.
But Organizing by STYLE is more than just relabeling habits. When we accept our styles as manifestations of our personalities and our natural tendencies, we can look at them in a different light. This change in perspective frees up the energy we’ve wasted beating ourselves up and allows us to expend it instead on finding practical solutions to our organizational struggles. By discovering the benefits inherent in our styles, we can use who we are and what we do automatically as a blueprint for developing a workable, sustainable plan. Best of all, since the basis of this plan is no longer who someone else thinks we should be or what someone else thinks we should do, we’re better able to celebrate exactly who God created us to be — organizational challenges and all. We might even find a little time to give thanks for the traits we once grumbled about.
Could you work to change your styles? Of course. But if you’re reading this book, I suspect you’ve already tried that approach, only to land back where you began. Besides, isn’t working with yourself a whole lot easier than working against yourself?
Part I of this book will focus on helping you to pinpoint your styles. There will be no judgment, no shaming, and no attempt to convert you to another, “better” way of doing things. (The world has plenty of traditionally organized Type A organizers like Evan.) I hope that this book will help you to uncover the unique manifestations of the Spirit that God has given you and help you figure out how to use them as your guide. The goal is not perfection, but rather a system that makes it easy for you to find what you need when you need it.
In part II, we’ll play with some strategies to go with your styles. Each chapter will focus on one letter of the STYLE acronym:
Start with successes
Take small steps
Yes, it has a home!
Let it go
Easy upkeep
Finally, in part III, we’ll extend the basics and conclude with some shortcuts and reminders to give you a boost when time is short and you need a quick refresher.
Please note my choice of pronoun: “we.” I am an I need to see it/drop and run girl, and will be until the day I die. Make no mistake — I’m on this journey with you.
Let’s get started.