Читать книгу Suspicions: A Twist Of Fate / Tears Of Pride - Lisa Jackson - Страница 14

Chapter 6

Erin felt comfortably warm and drowsy as she stretched lengthwise in the bed and tucked the silken comforter more cozily around her neck. She sighed softly to herself in pleasure as she slowly awakened. All the tension that had been gathering in her body over the last six months had somehow ebbed gently away from her. She smiled to herself contentedly before realizing that she felt so dreamily happy because she had made love to Kane Webster—her new boss!

Her dark lashes flew open as the reality of the situation dawned upon her. The bedroom was dark and the bed was empty. Kane must have left her and disappeared into the night as she slept. A feeling akin to desperation cascaded over her, and the bed, once warm and comforting, seemed cruelly cold and empty. She wondered silently to herself how she could have been so foolishly naive to expect him to stay with her. She was achingly aware that she loved him, and although she didn’t want to care for him so deeply, she accepted the naked truth of her love. But she wasn’t so foolish as to expect that he could possibly reciprocate her feelings of the heart.

Erin mentally chided herself for her thoughts of love. For all she knew, Kane might consider her just another easy conquest. The infuriating phrase “one night stand” crept into her mind. For all her bold talk of not mixing business with pleasure, she had invited Kane all too easily into her heart and into her bed.

You’re an idiot, she swore at herself as she decided to get dressed. She reached for her teal blue skirt that was still lying in the discarded heap of wrinkled clothing at the side of the bed. After pulling her panty hose on furiously, she began to step into the skirt.

“Don’t get dressed on my account,” Kane’s voice whispered across the darkness to her. Her disappointed heart leapt at the sound of his voice, and she whirled toward the doorway to find Kane leaning casually against the doorjamb, his gaze wandering recklessly over her body. Involuntarily she crossed her free arm over her breasts, while with the other she tugged vainly at the skirt.

“I…I thought that you’d gone,” Erin murmured, and feeling somewhat embarrassed by her partial nudity, she hastily grabbed the sheet from the bed and pulled it togalike around her body. Kane watched her swathe herself with the white sheet, and in his mind he likened her to a Greek goddess.

“Now, why would I want to leave?” he drawled huskily as his eyes traveled lazily over her one exposed slim leg and up to her eyes. Her fingers tightened around the sheet and yet she felt naked.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, “but when I woke up, you were gone and I didn’t hear any noise. I thought that you must have….” Her words died as she interpreted the expression in his clear gray eyes.

He stood still in the doorway watching her. One well-muscled shoulder rested against the doorjamb. The light from the living room was behind him, and his silhouette in the darkness seemed to intensify the broad strength of his shoulders and the powerful play of muscles on his chest. His shirt was still unbuttoned as if he were just in the process of getting dressed when he heard her awaken. Erin found it hard to concentrate on anything but his tanned skin and the invitation of his open shirt. Unconsciously she gripped the sheet a little more tightly.

“I’m not going to leave you,” he replied seriously, and then wondered at the promise he heard echoing in his words. He could see Erin’s face in the cloud-shadowed moon glow—a delicate, regal oval placed in relief by the tangled mass of black hair that cascaded down to rest against the marble texture of her bare shoulder. The hollow of her throat beckoned him, but he resisted reaching for her. She was beautiful, almost an inspiration, and Kane had difficulty reining in his emotions. Her lilac eyes shimmered in the half light, and Kane was sorely tempted to go back to the bed and crush her passionately against him. How could he ache so much for one woman? he asked himself. And how could any woman who appeared so innocent and vulnerable be mixed up with something as gut-wrenchingly dishonest as embezzling? The onerous thoughts that battled in his mind must have been evident on his face because Erin’s expression changed from innocence to wariness. God, why did he want her so badly?

Kane cleared his throat, and in an attempt to break the heady silence that was entrapping him, tried to lighten the suddenly tense moment. He cocked one black eyebrow in mock suspicion and effectively changed the subject.

“So you thought that I had left you, did you? Wishful thinking on your part, wasn’t it?”

“Wishful thinking? What do you mean?”

“You’ve been trying to weasel out of fixing dinner for me all day, but it won’t work. I’m here and I’m famished!”

“The lasagna! Oh, no! I forgot all about it!” Erin wailed. She started to hike her skirt upward over her hips, while still grasping the sheet.

Kane stood, unmoving and bemused, in the doorway. His silvery eyes never left her body. Erin sucked in a deep breath. Although she was uncomfortable about dressing in front of him, intuitively she knew it would be useless to try and dissuade him from watching her. She gave him an irritated glare that only seemed to amuse him further as she tried to squirm into the tight blue skirt and attempted to keep the sheet positioned modestly. Her efforts were in vain, and a deep chuckle erupted in his throat as he unabashedly studied her dismal efforts at privacy. Finally, when she slipped the skirt up to her waist and tried to tug at the zipper, it got caught in the sheet and Erin gave up. After the passionate intimacy of only an hour before, Erin realized that her modesty must appear slightly neurotic. With a burning flush of scarlet on her cheeks, she untangled the sheet from the zipper and let the sheet fall to the floor.

“Damn!” she swore under her breath when the skirt was in place at last. She raised her deep round eyes to him and met his gaze unwaveringly. Her breasts, two white soft mounds, were unshielded, and she moved slowly as she finished dressing. “You’re not making this easy, you know,” she accused, her eyes never leaving his. He met her challenging gaze with an amused twinkle in his eyes. “The least you could do,” she continued, “is take the dinner out of the oven so it doesn’t burn!”

A condescending smile touched the corners of his lips. “You expect me to help with the cooking?”

“Why not? You obviously intend to help with the eating,” she bantered back at him, and attempted to hurry through the doorway. Just as she tried to pass him, he placed a strong arm across her path. The action effectively barred her passage and barricaded her into the bedroom.

“Not so fast,” he murmured seductively. Erin felt her throat tighten.

“But the meal—the lasagna. It’s probably cremated!”

“It’ll keep,” he breathed, his eyes holding hers. His head dipped downward, and before she could utter any further protest, he kissed her softly. His lips lingered over hers for only an instant before he dropped the imprisoning arm and pulled his head away from hers. “I just wanted to thank you.”

“For what?” she asked breathlessly.

“For just being you.” His words warmed her, and she felt more than a little light-headed and dizzy, but the steady pressure of his warm hand against the small of her back forced her into the living area of the apartment. She couldn’t help but smile as she noticed that he had set the table for two and pulled the slightly overcooked casserole from the oven. Candles graced the intimate table. The wine was poured. The meal was already served.

“You did this?” she asked, surveying the table that he had set with enviable care. “And I slept through it?” Amazement was evident in her voice.

“Surprising, isn’t it?”

“That’s putting it mildly.” She shook her head in concentrated thought. “I’m normally a light sleeper,” she murmured as she walked into the kitchen.

“That’s because you haven’t been keeping the right company.”

“And just what is that supposed to mean?” she inquired cautiously as she put the finishing touches on the meal and placed the salad on the table next to the lasagna and warm bread.

“Just that you’d probably sleep more soundly with me.”

Her eyes jumped to his face as she took the chair opposite his at the table. She took a deep breath and decided that it was time to set him straight about her. Perhaps he had gotten the wrong impression and thought that she was somewhat promiscuous.

She began slowly and deliberately. “Kane, I want you to understand something about me,” she requested.

“Such as?”

“Contrary to what you might think…” She struggled with her next words as they caught in her throat. “I don’t normally…I mean…” She shook her dark curls in frustration. “What I’m trying to say is that I don’t make a habit of sleeping with a man whom I barely know.” She watched for his reaction.

“Oh?” His voice was interested, and he pushed his plate aside to give her his full attention. She saw no criticism in his misty eyes, only concern.

“I hope that I haven’t given you the wrong impression about me….”

“You mean because you slept with me?”

Two dark scarlet points of color brightened her cheeks, but she bravely continued. “That’s exactly what I mean.” Her words were hushed, and for a moment she was forced to look away from him. When she brought her eyes back to his, she held his gaze steadily and her voice became coolly even. “I don’t really understand why I think that you have to know this, but for the sake of my own somewhat Victorian morals, I want you to realize that I don’t have casual affairs. In fact, other than my ex-husband, there has been no one. Until you.”

“I know that,” he assured her in a voice as grave as the night.

She fingered her wineglass and took a long swallow of the rosé. She studied the pale pink liquid and swirled it in the long-stemmed glass before continuing the conversation. “Then why did you ask me all of those insulting questions about Mitch?”

At the mention of Mitchell Cameron’s name, a scowl darkened Kane’s features. Once again his face was guarded and his eyes became two silver shields. “I didn’t know you then,” was the terse reply.

“And in just three days you know me well enough to evaluate my love life?” she returned, and heard the sarcasm in her voice.

“I probably know a lot more about you than you think.”

Her lilac eyes fastened on his, and a rush of indignation that she couldn’t conceal colored her words. “You haven’t been checking up on me, have you?”

“No more than I have any other employee of the bank.” It was a lie and he knew it, but he couldn’t let her think any differently at this point. He hated himself for the lie, but he was trapped by the web of suspicions that plagued him and by the storm of emotions that captured him every time he looked into her eyes.

“Then why all the insinuations about Mitch? Can’t you believe that a woman can make it on her own without sleeping with the boss?”

He arched an expressive black eyebrow, and she felt immediately contrite. The question that was unspoken hung between them on a charged electric current. Unashamedly Erin answered it. “You know that I didn’t make love to you because of my job.”

“Then tell me, why did you sleep with me?” he coaxed.

“For the same reason that you slept with me,” she responded, lifting her chin proudly. “Because I wanted to.” His tight frown seemed to relax, and he took a sip of his wine as he surveyed her over the rim of the wineglass. His gray eyes concentrated on her. She seemed so honest. It was impossible to think that her beautiful face would lie. Why hadn’t she been truthful about her ex-husband? Erin O’Toole was an enigma, a ravishing, seductive enigma.

Erin struggled with her meal. Why did she feel such an uncontrollable urge to explain everything to Kane? And why did she feel the need for caution? As she put aside her fork, she spread her hands outward on the table, her fingers reaching up in a supplicating gesture. “Mitch was my boss, and he was and is a very dear friend. No matter what he’s done, nothing will change that. But there was never anything more between us than personal friendship and professional respect for each other. Can’t you believe me?”

“Of course I do—now,” Kane replied. “But you can’t blame me for my suspicions. Until I met you in the bank last Saturday, I didn’t know anything about you other than what was in your personnel file. I knew that you had been promoted rapidly—perhaps too quickly—and I wanted to know why. You have to understand that no matter how close you are to Mitch, he is a thief!” Kane’s cold gray eyes grew dark. “It’s my responsibility to the bank, the stockholders, the savings customers, everyone, to know everything I can about each employee. It would be ridiculous to think that I would rely on Mitchell Cameron’s judgment.”

Kane’s words hit Erin like a splash of cold water. She was stunned, and her voice was brittle as she asked the question that was uppermost in her mind. “Are you trying to tell me that you don’t think I’m qualified for my position, that the only reason you could see that I would get the job was because I might have slept with Mitch?” she challenged, stricken at the thought.

His voice was strangely devoid of emotion. “I’m saying that it’s difficult for me to believe that a thirty-two-year-old woman is second in command of the legal department of a major Seattle bank….”

“And if I were a man?” she fired back at him, her eyes deepening to the color of a midnight storm.

“Sex has nothing to do with this!”

“Sex has everything to do with this,” she argued, slapping her palm against the table and rattling the silverware. “You seem to overlook the fact that I spent the last six years of my life in night school, for the most part doing postgraduate work in corporate law! If it weren’t for the fact that you bought First Puget Bank, I would probably be a practicing attorney today!”

It was Kane’s turn to be angry and his words sliced through the air. “I don’t see how I could have possibly hindered your legal career! What does my ownership of the bank have to do with it?”

Erin swallowed with difficulty and licked her arid lips. She tried to think calmly and took a long swallow of wine to quench her parched throat. Getting angry wouldn’t solve anything, she told herself, and giving in to her sometimes volatile temper would only hinder the situation. Carefully she explained her position. “There are several reasons that I haven’t been able to take the bar exam.”

“And somehow they are all my fault,” he surmised.

“I’m not blaming you,” she insisted, and began toying with her napkin. “First Puget was paying my way through school. Any class I took that pertained to my job was paid for by the bank. Other classes I paid for myself. That is—until the bank sale.”

“You mean, until Consolidated Finances bought out First Puget?”

She nodded.

“Lack of money prevented you from taking the exam?” His jawline hardened and a tiny muscle began to work in his jaw as he clenched his teeth together. One more reason Erin needed money, as he saw it. Just how desperate was she?

“Money isn’t the only problem,” she sighed, wishing there were some way to avoid this particular discussion. “You see, in the past six months, there have been several departmental changes…and Mitch wasn’t around a good deal of the time. I had to spend a lot of my free time at the bank, working.”

“And you didn’t have time to study for the examination?” Was there a slight undercurrent of sarcasm to his question?

“It’s not as simple as going out and getting a driver’s license, you know!” she snapped back at him, her strained temper unleashed at last. Viciously she speared a portion of the lasagna and forced the bite into her mouth.

For a few seconds neither she nor Kane spoke, and they finished the remainder of the meal in silent battle. When she hazarded a surreptitious glance in his direction, she felt her anger flow out of her. Perhaps it was the deep concentration of his knit brows, or the play of light on his gold-streaked chestnut hair. Or maybe it was the seductive way his mouth curved, or his bronzed chest as it peeked out from beneath his shirt. Whatever the reason, she felt her temper cool as she watched him. Her heart was torn and she ached to understand the man whom she loved so urgently.

Why, she wondered, did she feel that he was holding something back from her? Why did there always seem to be a dark, unasked question in his eyes? Was he like she was, insecure about a commitment to a fellow employee? Was it possible that he had a girlfriend, or perhaps a fiancée, waiting for him in California? Or was it a brooding concern for his daughter that made him seem so remote at times? How could she love a man so desperately and still feel that he wasn’t being completely honest with her?

She finished her meal, excused herself and began brewing some coffee in the kitchen. Despite the uncomfortable conversation, Kane ate hungrily and Erin was pleased. What was it about preparing a meal for the man she loved that made her feel so satisfied? Some age-old maternal instinct, she supposed and smiled to herself. She had experienced the same satisfied sensation with Lee in the first few months of her marriage. It hadn’t lasted long! she reminded herself.

At a time like this why would she remember her ex-husband and the few good times that they had shared? She tried to dispel her mood of melancholy remembrance by pouring the coffee and carrying it into the living room.

Kane had risen from the table and was standing at the window, staring out across the darkened Puget Sound. From his position, he could see the jeweled lights of Seattle winking on the quiet black waters. A deep blanket of fog was beginning to roll into the sound.

“Even at night this is a spectacular view of the city,” he thought aloud, accepting the coffee that Erin offered. She, too, looked into the misty night.

“That’s one of the reasons that I had to have this place,” she agreed, and then laughed. “Along with a very long list of other things.”

“Such as?”

“The charm of this old house. Everything about it speaks of a different time, a more romantic period in history.” She ran a caressing finger across the cool wood of the windowsill. “The craftsmanship is exquisitely ornate, and I doubt that it could be duplicated today. This house was built with love. Look at the woodwork, the carved stairs, the beveled windows, everything! Even the builder who separated it into apartments and added all the modern conveniences took enough care to keep the flavor and the grandeur of the house in mind. I fell in love with it the minute I saw it,” she admitted, and was surprised at how easily she had opened up to Kane about her feelings for the old mansion.

“Didn’t anyone warn you about the expensive upkeep of such an old building?” he asked cautiously as he sat down on the couch. She took a seat next to him and shook her head thoughtfully.

“Everyone I knew tried to talk me out of it. Even my parents, who live on the East Coast, flew out here to try and dissuade me. They all told me that I was throwing money away. How does the expression go? ‘Good money after bad’? They swore that the upkeep of the place would ruin me financially.” She shrugged her slim shoulders and looked out the window again. “But the more people tried to talk me out of it, the more I absolutely had to have it!”

“Watch out,” he cautioned with a smile. “Your rebellious side is beginning to show.”

“Is it?” she asked, turning her attention back to him. She had considered herself many things, but never rebellious.

“That dark, private side of you that I told you about yesterday. It’s surfacing,” he suggested.

Once again the conversation was becoming too intimate for Erin. She was beginning to feel claustrophobic, as if he were closing in on her. Something made her draw away; she tried to change the subject. “In any event I bought this place and haven’t lived to regret it yet.”

“And were all those people who gave you advice correct?”

“What do you mean?”

He took a long, experimental sip of his coffee and studied her intently. “I mean, has this house become a financial burden to you?”

Erin swallowed before answering. Just how much did she want him to know about her, and how much did he already guess? “It hasn’t been easy,” she admitted reluctantly.

“Tenant problems?”

She shook her head negatively. “Not really. Most of the people who rent here have been with me for years, and they are very nice people who take pride in their homes. Once in a while I have a vacancy problem, but the primary difficulty with this place is the repairs. You see, I’m not exactly handy with a hammer or a saw.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that,” he teased and lightly touched her shoulder. “You have talents in other fields.” His whispered words were tender and comforting, and she felt that she had known him all her life. His fingers touched her hair. He felt himself drawn to the ebony sheen of her curls. They were as black and inviting as the night itself. He caught himself and struggled to maintain his objectivity where Erin was concerned, but found it difficult to put his feelings for her in their proper perspective. She had lied to him and he knew it. Whether she admitted it or not, Lee Sinclair was back in Seattle. Kane felt that he had to press Erin tonight, before he became all the more entangled in her mysterious womanly charms. He couldn’t let himself forget that it was imperative that he understand what devious thoughts were being spun in that regal head of hers.

“What about your ex-husband?” Kane prodded.

“Lee?” she asked, perplexed. “What does Lee have to do with anything?” Nervously she pushed an errant strand of hair back in place. Why did Kane continue to bring up the subject of a man whom Erin would rather forget?

“What did he have to say about this place and your purchasing it?”

“He couldn’t say much. We were divorced at the time,” she responded with a finality that she hoped would effectively close the subject. But still he persisted.

“Tell me about the divorce,” he coaxed.

“Why?”

A smile toyed with the corners of his mouth. “Because I want to know all about you….” he suggested silkily.

“I don’t like to talk about Lee.”

“Why?”

“Are you interrogating me again?” she asked, promptly regretting the acidity in her words. She got up from the couch and shrugged her shoulders. “It bothers me…to talk about Lee.”

“Did he hurt you so badly?” he asked, his voice gentle.

Her eyes glazed over with the shame that she had borne. How could she explain the embarrassment of Lee’s affair and the messy divorce? “Yes,” she whispered, “I suppose that he did hurt me, but only because I let him.”

“By loving him too much?” he asked severely.

“No, by being so young and naive. At the time I thought that all marriages were made in heaven, and I didn’t think that I would fail, or that he would use me….” She found that she was trembling. The cup of coffee shook in her fingers, and she was forced to set it on the bookcase in order to hide her reaction from Kane.

“There was another woman?” he guessed, and Erin, with her back to him, let her shoulders droop as she nodded.

“My pride was wounded very deeply.” She pulled her lips into a thin line of self-deprecation and squared her sagging shoulders. “I just never thought that I would end up as a divorce court statistic!”

“You didn’t want the marriage to end?”

She turned and faced him. “You don’t understand. I didn’t want to fail, but I had to get out of the marriage to Lee. I couldn’t bear the hypocrisy!”

Quickly Kane moved off the couch and reached for her. He pressed her quietly against the strength of his chest. Although she was still shaking, she could hear the steady beat of his heart, and his silent support helped calm her.

“Erin,” Kane breathed, sharing in the agony that had embittered her.

“It’s all right,” she murmured against him. “I don’t know why it still bothers me…at times. The pain has been gone for a long while.”

She felt his arm tighten around her, and his voice was barely a whisper when he asked the question. “Do you ever see him?” Kane asked with an urgency she couldn’t understand.

“I haven’t seen him for over a year, since he moved to Spokane.” The pressure of his hands against her back increased and she felt compelled to continue. “But he has moved back to Seattle, and he has called me.”

His grip slackened, but the deep lines of concern that etched his forehead remained. “He wants to see you again?” Kane asked, and his eyes narrowed a fraction.

“I don’t want to see him,” she sighed. “So I haven’t.”

“Is he being overly persistent?” There was a thread of steel in Kane’s voice.

“Yes…no…no, not really…” She rubbed her temple in confusion. “Couldn’t we talk about something else? I really don’t like to be reminded of that period in my life. What about you?” she asked, her lilac eyes searching his. “What was your marriage like?”

Kane released her and scowled. His lips formed a thin line that was neither a smile or frown. “I suppose that’s a fair question, since you bared your soul to me.”

He strode purposely back to the couch and raked his fingers through the thick waves of his hair, before picking up his lukewarm coffee and staring into the black liquid.

“My marriage to Jana was a mistake from the beginning,” he admitted with a frown. “I guess I probably knew it at the time, but I was much younger then, and it took me quite a few years to finally admit to myself that we had made an error that was destroying us.”

He looked vacantly out the window into the fog before continuing. His dark brows pulled together in concentration and carefully Erin came closer to him and perched on the arm of the sofa as he began to speak.

“In the beginning I was attracted to her because she was an incredibly beautiful and famous woman. You know, the glamorous model. I was just getting started in my business at the time, and I was flattered that she would even give me the time of day. I convinced myself that I loved her, when actually there was never any love between us. I was young enough to think that beneath all the glitter was a beautiful person hidden in that gorgeous body. A typical male mistake. And of course I was wrong.

“We had a whirlwind romance, I guess you might say. Lusty affair would be more exact. In any event just as I was beginning to suspect that we were too different ever to get along, it was too late—she was pregnant. I talked her out of the abortion and into marriage.”

His lips thinned and he shook his head derisively. “I guess that I was a damned fool to think that a baby would change things between us, that our differences would work themselves out. And as it turned out, Jana and I had very different impressions about family life. She resented having to give up her figure and her career for the sake of her pregnancy, and she resented being a mother and a housewife. After five years of battling with her I agreed to the divorce that she wanted so desperately. As I said before, the marriage was a mistake from the beginning, and I knew it. But no matter what, it was worth every minute of the arguments—because of Krista.”

He cleared his throat as he thought about his daughter and a sadness stole across his features. Erin felt an urge to brush away the signs of strain that seemed to age his face. The line of his jaw tensed as he spoke. “The biggest error in judgment I made was that at the time I didn’t fight for custody. I subscribed to the same myth as the rest of the world: A young girl needs to be with her mother, regardless of the weaknesses or the frame of mind of the woman.” A tortured look came into his steely eyes. “And then, to compound the mistake, I threw myself into my work, trying to erase the memories that had become painful. My attitude—it wasn’t fair to Krista. To put it bluntly, I neglected my child. Not because I wanted to, but because I wanted to hide from the memories.” He closed his eyes for a moment and rubbed the back of his neck to ease the tension that had knotted at the base of his head as he thought about the divorce and his child. He seemed tired and weary; Erin felt the burn of tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

His voice was a muted whisper when he continued. “I saw Krista occasionally of course, but not nearly as much as I wanted to or should have…it was just too difficult, too much of a struggle.” A black eyebrow cocked sardonically. “A selfish attitude, wouldn’t you say?” he asked her rhetorically. His next sentence was one of self-condemnation. “I was a bastard of a father!”

He hesitated only slightly, and that was to wave his arm emphatically, stilling the protest that was forming in Erin’s throat.

“Within a year Jana was trying to rebuild her career. It was difficult for her because she was six years older and slightly out of shape. Modeling, for the most part, is for the very young woman with an almost boyishly slim figure. No one in the New York or Los Angeles agencies was interested in Jana. As far as they were concerned, Jana was yesterday’s news.

“Then this Hollywood actress obsession took hold of her, and unfortunately she failed, dismally trying to remember her lines as the cameras rolled.” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “It was at about that point that she began making the self-help and group therapy rounds. She went through periods of fad diets, deep depression, sensitivity groups—you name it and she was into it. I suggested that she go to a respected local psychiatrist, but she ignored my advice as usual and preferred to stick with the most faddish encounter group of the day.

“That’s when I decided to do something about Krista. As poor a father as I had been, even I knew that all Jana’s neuroses couldn’t be good for an impressionable nine-year-old girl. Damn!” He swore at himself and bit his lower lip in annoyed remembrance. “I should have seen it earlier. Maybe I could have prevented all of Krista’s problems. Perhaps if I had been paying a little more attention to my kid rather than my business interests, Jana would be alive today and Krista would be walking like a normal and healthy eleven-year-old!”

“You can’t blame yourself,” Erin objected. “You tried to help.”

Steely gray eyes flashed fire at her. “‘Too little, too late,’ as the saying goes.”

Erin had trouble keeping her silence. She saw the emotions that were ripping him apart as he thought about his past. His fist clenched tightly before he thrust it into the pocket of his pants.