Читать книгу Lakeside Family - Lisa Jordan - Страница 10

Chapter Two

“Her what?” His words tripped their way up his throat. His heart hammered against his rib cage. “Did you just say I’m a...father?”

She had to be joking. One look at her crossed arms and jutted chin showed she told the truth. He stood and moved away from her, needing a little distance. Grabbing on to the mantel, he stared at the black pit where logs lay cold. Fake. Not real. Imitation. Just like him.

“My daughter is nine years old, Nick. She’ll be ten in April. You’re the one with the fancy degrees. Figure it out.”

This could not be happening. There had to be some mistake. Wouldn’t he have known? Or at least been told? He faced her again. “How do you know she’s mine?”

“Because you’re the only person I’ve been with. That night after my nonna’s funeral when we...” She looked away, her words trailing off. A strand of hair slipped out of her clip and curled against her cheek.

A tucked away memory filtered through his head. After her grandmother’s funeral, he had taken her for a drive down by the lake. He held her while she cried and kissed away her tears. He had known better, but in the heat of the moment, common sense fell away as quickly as their clothes. Regret coated his throat.

And now they had a child.

Pink tinged her cheeks. “I got pregnant. Hannah is your daughter, too.”

“So you decided to wait until you needed something to tell me?”

Her head snapped up, her brown eyes the size of teacups. “Excuse me? Don’t you dare act like this is news.”

“How am I supposed to act? I’m hearing about this child for the first time.” His words, laced with self-loathing, burned his tongue.

She jumped to her feet, nearly tripping over the coffee table, and poked him in the chest. “I called your mother and begged for your address, but she said it was best that I didn’t hold you back.”

A chill washed over him. He grabbed her wrist. “Wait a second. My mom knew you were pregnant?”

She pulled her hand free and backed away from him. “Of course she did. When she refused to give me your address, she said she’d relay the message and let you decide. Actions really do speak louder than words, don’t they?”

“She never told me.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. Mom, what have you done?

“Yeah, right.” She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “You couldn’t wait to leave Ridgefield for your big shot college and put everything behind you, including me. Now you’re blaming your mom for your lack of decency. I expected more from you, Nick. Funny how expectations end up being disappointments, too.”

Nick fisted his hands to keep from shaking her. Did she seriously think he’d have walked out on her if he had known? Especially what she knew about his childhood? “I swear I didn’t know.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t believe you.”

“It’s the truth.”

Josie’s shoulders sagged. She dropped on the couch, cradling her head in her hands. “Why wouldn’t she tell you?”

Nick sighed and jammed his hands in his pockets. “I have no idea.”

She pointed to the cordless phone on the counter. “Give her a call now and ask.”

“I can’t.” Guilt gripped his vocal cords and twisted. He massaged his throat. Eight years. Still not long enough to forgive himself for destroying his family. “She’s dead.”

Her hand flew to her mouth. “I’m sorry. What happened? Wait. That’s none of my business.”

“Car accident.” He didn’t mention he was the one driving. He pushed ghosts of that night out of his thoughts and focused on the petite Italian beauty in front of him.

“So it’s you and your brother now? Ross, right? How’s he?”

“Yes, Ross. He’s...fine.” And he was. For the most part. He couldn’t tell her about Ross. Not yet.

“I—I thought you knew about Hannah. I’m sorry this is such a shock.” She reached up and touched his arm. “But she’s your daughter, and she needs your help, Nick.”

The pleading in her eyes cut him to the core. In the past ten minutes, his world had been turned upside down. He needed a minute to collect his thoughts.

Turning away, he swept his gaze over a rough-hewn bookcase decorated with ivy and tiny white lights. A stack of books lay on their sides next to a trio of chunky candlesticks in the corner. Cans of tea for sale lined the middle shelf. One of the labels on the tea can boasted an unforgettable experience. He didn’t need to drink tea to have that. It had been handed to him the moment he walked through the door.

He remembered another door, a lifetime ago. The one his father walked out of when Nick was in first grade, leaving him with a sobbing mother and a screaming baby brother. Seeing his father throw that duffel bag in the back of the rusted pickup and barrel down the street had Nick racing after him, screaming his name and crying. He hadn’t seen his dad since. He promised his mother and brother he’d never abandon his family.

But he had done just that to his daughter. He was no better than his father. A pain knifed his gut, threatening to drag the breath right out of him. He pressed a fist against his sternum.

“And then what, Josie?” His voice sounded hoarse to his own ears.

“What do you mean?” She sounded halfway across the room.

He turned and stared, drinking in the dark, loose curls escaping her clip and framing her face, the way her blue shirt and brown pants clung to her soft curves. With the dimmed overhead lighting casting shadows on her, she appeared no more than seventeen. The same age as when he got her pregnant. “What happens after I get tested?”

“Well, we wait to see if you’re a match.” She tugged on the hem of her shirt.

He took a step toward her. “No, I mean with Hannah and me. With you and me.”

Her eyes flashed. “There is no you and me. You burned that bridge a long time ago.”

He’d thought it was the best thing for them. Even after he started his freshman year, he’d thought of her often, had been so tempted to pick up the phone just to hear her voice, but he resisted. He’d had no right to lead her on.

Maybe that was why she hadn’t tried a little harder to contact him. He glanced at her hand. No wedding ring. That didn’t mean she wasn’t in a relationship now. “There will always be a you and me. Now that I know about Hannah, I want to be a part of her life.”

She shot him a “you’ve got to be kidding” look. “You don’t even know her.”

“Not by choice. Now that I have a chance, I’m not going to walk away.” He was not going to be his father. He had to prove to Josie—somehow, some way—that he was in this for the long haul.

“I will not let you hurt her. She’s been through so much already.” Her voice shook. Her fingers trembled as she reached up and released the clip from her hair. It cascaded down her back like a waterfall.

“I promise you—I will never hurt her. I can put her on my insurance.” He waved a hand toward the front of the store. “This is a great little place, but I can help you financially.”

Josie’s eyes narrowed. “I didn’t ask for your money. I want only one thing—a blood test. Hannah’s life depends on you.”

He couldn’t change the past, but he could make up for it. Starting now. She didn’t have to do things alone again. He was here to help. If only he could get her to see that.

How could he prove he was committed to their daughter? His heart stuttered as a sudden thought crossed his mind. No, he couldn’t. It was crazy. Before common sense could engage, he opened his mouth. “Marry me.”

* * *

If he had suddenly sprouted a horn from the middle of his forehead, Josie wouldn’t have been more shocked. She stared at him. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” He stepped closer.

“No. No, I don’t think I did.” She swallowed and tried not to inhale the richness of his cologne. His closeness stirred feelings she’d stuffed away a long time ago. Feelings that got her into trouble.

“Josie—”

“Are you insane?” She stepped back, needing distance. “I asked you for a blood test, you idiot. Not for a marriage proposal. You’re crazy.”

He raised an eyebrow and leaned against a table, arms crossed over his chest. “I’m serious.”

“So am I.” She threw her hands in the air and muttered something in Italian that would’ve gotten her in trouble as a child. “Who in their right mind marries a guy off the street?”

“I’m not exactly a stranger.”

She whirled around and searched his face for a hint of common sense. “To Hannah, you are. I haven’t seen you in over ten years. I have no idea who you are anymore. A little girl’s life is at stake here, and you’re playing games.” Funny how the Nick she knew back then was completely different than the man standing in front of her.

He watched her without saying a word. His jaw clenched. He was serious.

What a mess this was becoming. “Nick—”

Nick pushed away from the table and shoved his hands in his front pockets. “I missed out on nine years of my daughter’s life. I’m not going to have some test done, give her another piece of me and disappear for the rest of her life. I have a responsibility now. I won’t abandon my family.”

“Your family? Where were you when she was teething? Where were you on the first day of kindergarten? Where were you when she spent the night throwing up after her first chemo treatment? We quit being yours the day Hannah was born, and you didn’t show up.”

“Not. My. Fault.” His voice rose. “Maybe if you had faced me yourself, we wouldn’t be here right now.”

He blamed her? “I was seventeen, living at home, without a high school diploma, much less a job. You expected me to chase you across two states in the off chance you just might want to play house? I don’t think so.” Her chest heaved.

She grabbed the back of the couch and dug her fingers into the fabric. She drew in a deep breath and blew it out slowly before facing him again. Feeling a tiny bit calmer, she turned back to him. “When you didn’t show up after I called your mother, I wrote you out of our lives. But now I’ll do whatever it takes to save Hannah’s life. Even if it means dealing with you again.”

Nick closed the distance between them in two strides and placed both hands on her shoulders. “If I had known about Hannah from day one, I would have been there. I would have given it all up to raise her with you.” Nick’s gaze pierced her soul. “That option was taken from me. I can’t make up the past, but I will be a part of her life—with or without your consent.”

Josie’s heart raced. Was he threatening her? She pulled his hands off her shoulders, squeezed his fingers and softened her tone. “Look, I respect your wanting to be a part of her life, but that doesn’t mean we have to get married. Come on, Nick, get real. Who does that? Besides, how could I marry someone I can’t even be sure is going to stick around?” She had plenty of experience with people claiming to love her and then leaving.

“When can I see her?”

What if she didn’t let him see her? Would he refuse to get tested? She couldn’t risk it. Josie let go of his hands and glanced at the large clock above the fireplace. She was so late. Would Hannah still be awake? How would she even begin to explain Nick to her? Maybe the best way would be to have Hannah meet Nick, explain why he was there and then let the two of them get to know each other with her nearby. “Let me lock up, and we can head to my house now.”

“She’s home alone?”

The accusation in his voice scored a direct hit. Did he think she was that irresponsible?

“No, Nonno—my grandfather—lives with us. Usually I only work until noon, but worked this afternoon to catch up from being away this morning.”

“Does she know about me?” The uncertainty in his voice nearly melted her anger.

She sighed and then shook her head. “Not really. I mean, I haven’t kept you a huge secret or anything, but she knows you as an ex-high school boyfriend. She’s seen yearbook pictures. That’s about it.”

“And my mom never contacted you?”

“Not once.”

“I’m sorry.”

She lifted a shoulder. “Sorry can’t erase the last ten years.”

“Regardless of what you think of me, if I had known, I wouldn’t have just left you to face everything alone.”

“Well, we can’t exactly turn back time, can we? So I guess we’ll never know. You have a choice now. Just don’t screw it up.”

Josie flicked off the dining room lights, leaving on a row above the front counter edged against the large storefront window. “I’m going through the kitchen and out the back door. I’ll meet you out front and then you can follow me home.”

“Fine.”

As soon as he headed outside, Josie flipped the deadbolt into place, hurried through the kitchen, grabbed her purse off her desk and snatched her coat off the chair. She slammed through the back door.

Her fingers shook so badly that she dropped her keys in the snow slumped against the back of the building. She fished them out with bare fingers and leaned against the door, staring at the night sky as she pulled in large gulps of frosty air. She locked the door and trudged through the snow to her car.

Five minutes later, Josie pulled onto Songbird Lane and into her driveway with Nick’s headlights in her rearview mirror.

“You can do this. For Hannah.” Taking a deep breath, she clenched the steering wheel. With a final sigh, she grabbed her purse off the passenger seat and climbed out, slamming the door behind her.

Nick’s shoulders hunched close to his ears as he blew into his bare hands. “Feels like January instead of March.”

They were going to discuss the weather? Seriously?

His eyes shifted to her house, his lips turning upward. “It’s something out of a Disney movie.”

Shrubs of various shapes and sizes clustered against the front and around the sides of the stone cottage. Brittle limbs sighed over a chipped picket fence as if they carried the weight of winter. Cleared cobblestones meandered in a haphazard path to the red front door.

“Wait until you see the fairy door knocker. Hannah fell in love with it when we moved here.” Maybe small talk would help her forget about the pain eroding her heart. Doubtful.

“When was that?”

“Once I graduated from college—about five years ago or so.” Josie shoved her hands in her pockets and started up the walk. “She was in her Disney princesses phase.”

She opened the door, stepped inside then moved out of the way so he could enter. A small candlestick lamp on the semicircle foyer table by the front door lit the entryway. Shadows stretched across the wood floor that led into the living room. Josie dropped her purse on the table, shrugged off her coat and hung it in an open closet. She didn’t offer to take Nick’s. He wouldn’t be staying long.

She stepped into the bathroom around the corner from the front door and washed her hands. Returning to the hall, she nodded toward the bathroom. “Please wash your hands. We have to be really careful about germs.”

Without saying a word, Nick moved past her and did as she asked. She marched into the large living room without checking to see if he followed.

She passed by the taupe leather couch with its aqua-and-chocolate pillows and crocheted afghan and crossed to the matching recliner to kiss her grandfather’s cheek. He rested with his eyes closed and a suspense novel open on his chest. The soft glow of the tall candlestick lamp behind his chair bathed his face, filling in the lines and wrinkles of life’s experiences. “Nonno, I’m home.”

Her grandfather started, adjusting his glasses on his nose. “Cara, mi avete spaventato. You startled me.” His eyes shifted over her shoulder.

“So sorry. I have a guest.” She waved her hand toward Nick.

“A guest, you say.” Her grandfather lowered his footrest and eased himself out of the chair. He straightened his brown knitted vest over his blue plaid shirt.

Josie placed a hand on her grandfather’s shoulder. “Nonno, meet Nick Brennan.”

“Nick, this is my nonno, I mean my grandfather, Vincenzo Peretti.”

“A pleasure, sir.” Nick extended a hand.

“Nick.” Nonno’s voice trailed off and his lips thinned as his eyes narrowed. “Are you...?” He shot a look at Josie.

She nodded, biting the inside of her lip. “Yes, he’s Hannah’s father.”

Nonno pulled his shoulders back, stepped toward Nick and pointed a finger at him. “You have some nerve. What kind of man puts an innocent girl in a family way and then disappears?”

Josie placed a hand on his chest. “Nonno, not now.”

Nick held up a hand. “Sir, you have every right to be angry. I’m sure I would be, too, in your place. In my defense, I didn’t know.”

“Didn’t know? Didn’t know? Why, that’s preposterous. I remember—”

“Nonno, we’ll talk later.” She linked her arm through his and pressed a kiss to his temple.

Nonno glared at Nick. Josie had to give him credit for not backing down. Her grandfather was the first to break eye contact. Muttering in Italian, he returned to his recliner and picked up his book, pretending to read.

Josie removed the novel from his hands, turned it right side up and smiled. “Ti amo.”

“Ti amo, cara.”

She swallowed a lump in her throat. “Where’s Hannah?”

“She’s asleep. I checked on her about half an hour ago.”

“Grazie.”

Josie motioned for Nick to follow her and headed up the stairs separating the living room from the dining room. Putting her finger to her lips, Josie pushed her daughter’s bedroom door open and tiptoed to Hannah’s bed where she lay curled in a ball, one arm clutching Duck, her stuffed purple alligator that had seen better days.

Josie looked over her shoulder to where Nick stood rooted to the threshold. His eyes didn’t waver from the bed. His brows furrowed and then a look she couldn’t interpret crossed over his face.

“What’s wrong?” Josie’s heart fluttered. He was probably

in shock about Hannah’s baldness.

“She’s beautiful.”