Читать книгу A Deal at the Altar: Hired by the Cowboy / SOS: Convenient Husband Required - Liz Fielding, Donna Alward - Страница 13

THE EGGS AND HAM, what she’d managed to eat of them, stayed down. Alex showered, dressed in clean jeans and T-shirt, and wished she had something nicer to wear. Grandmothers were not on her top ten list of things she wanted to do today. Alex knew that if she didn’t pass muster, chances were the wedding would never take place.

She fussed with the hem of her shirt. Well, there was nothing she could do about her dearth of a wardrobe. Instead she went to work, tidying the house, dusting and vacuuming, and making sure the appliances gleamed. She took pleasure in looking in at the rooms, tidy and shining. It felt…already…like a home.

She frowned. Two days. Two days and she was thinking of this as home. She had to be careful and remember that this was temporary. If she got too invested, then she was only setting herself up for heartache when it became time to leave. And leave she must. They would go their separate ways, and she would find a new place for herself and the baby she’d be bringing up alone.

But first she had to deal with Connor’s grandmother. The fact that she had to made her blood boil. Of all the nerve. Connor had sat there, calm as you please, and just announced that he’d told his grandmother about their plans. Now he was off “working”, and she was left to deal with the fallout alone. How typically male!

She’d get lots of mileage out of this one. He owed her big time for dropping this on her and leaving.

She was heading upstairs when a horrible thought took hold. What if the revered lady arrived expecting to spend the night? Was Alex already in the room she would expect to occupy? Would his grandmother be expecting her to be sharing Connor’s bed?

The thought of sleeping next to Connor all night made her stomach roll over. It was bad enough the tricks her mind was playing on her; she wasn’t sure how she could handle lying close to his body through the night, listening to his steady breath, feeling his warmth. She had no business feeling this elemental attraction to him, not when their relationship was temporary and she was pregnant. And who knew what would happen while they were sleeping? She was apt to wake up draped over him, and how embarrassing would that be? As if Connor would be attracted to her—poor, plain Alex, pregnant with another man’s child. Briefly she remembered how gently he’d touched her last night, and her stomach twisted again. Maybe it was possible that he was attracted, she supposed, but someone had to keep a clear head around here!

She could switch her things to the other spare room. It wouldn’t take but a moment, and then Mrs. Madsen could have the white room. She was just taking the steps with fresh linens in her hands when the doorbell rang. Her heart sank. She’d run out of time.

She put the linens on a chair and opened the door with a heavy and panicked heart.

“You must be Alexis. I’m Johanna Madsen, Connor’s grandmother.”

Of course you are. Alex held the thought inside and tried to keep her mouth from dropping open. The woman was tall and imperious, dressed in a stylish black pantsuit with a real silk scarf twined about her neck.

But she was looking at Alex in a friendly, grandmotherly sort of way, not with the glare of suspicion and dislike that Alex had completely expected.

“Please, come in,” Alex said automatically, then felt ridiculous. Johanna belonged here so much more than she did!

Alex stepped aside and Johanna came in, pulling a suitcase behind her. Alex’s heart sank. Johanna was planning on staying.

“Connor’s gone to a meeting,” she said haltingly, hating the uncertainty in her voice.

Johanna’s brow crinkled in the middle. “All this fuss—all these meetings he has to attend when there’s hay to be cut. It looks like a good crop. He’ll need it.”

“He will?”

Johanna smiled at Alex indulgently, making Alex feel like a simple child. “When you can’t sell beef, you’ve got to feed the ones you’ve got.” She put a friendly hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Let’s have tea.”

Alex was helpless to do anything but follow Johanna into the kitchen. The woman had been in the house less than five minutes and already she was in charge. Alex wasn’t sure whether to be offended or strangely relieved as she paused in the doorway to the kitchen, unsure of what to do.

Johanna placed the kettle on the burner, and then knelt down with her head in the cupboard, searching for teabags. A rancher’s wife, born and bred. It made Alex feel even more like an impostor.

“So, when are you due, Alexis?”

Alex’s mouth did drop open then, and she stood paralyzed. Johanna took the kettle off the burner and poured, unhesitating in her movements. The woman was making tea like she’d just asked about the weather. Connor had distinctly said he hadn’t told his grandmother about the baby. How on earth could she know? The shirt Alex was wearing covered most of her belly, and she was barely beginning to show. She should have been prepared for the question, but she wasn’t, and she floundered horribly.

“Mrs. Madsen…”

“Oh, dear. None of that, I hope.” Johanna turned with a carton of milk in her hands. “You can call me Gram, like Connor does, or Johanna—whichever suits you best.”

Alex paused. She was on shaky footing. The woman before her was shrewd, and exuded an aura of power and competence that Alex found intimidating. Yet at the same time she seemed very down to earth and without artifice. Alex couldn’t read her at all, and her discomfort grew as the woman raised a questioning eyebrow at her continued silence. Somehow she had to try to gain control of the conversation, yet without seeming adversarial. She’d already argued with Connor this morning; she wasn’t sure she could stand to go three rounds with his grandmother.

“Mrs. Madsen.” She used the formal name as a shield. “I’m sorry. Your question took me by surprise,” she finally got out.

“You are pregnant, aren’t you?” Johanna turned her back to Alex, putting the cream and sugar on a tray with the teapot.

Alex dropped her eyes and her shoulders tensed. Never in her life had she felt more deceitful, more undeserving. Johanna had guessed about the baby—and that was sure to create problems. The best way to deal with it was head-on.

“Yes, I am. Fourteen weeks.”

“And Connor says you met on Friday?” Johanna turned back, bringing the pot to the table.

Oh, didn’t that sound lovely? Alex flushed. By the way, I’m marrying your grandson. I’ve known him for less than a week. She might as well march right upstairs and repack her bag. She knew how it looked, no matter what the reality was. In a cool voice she replied, “Yes. I fainted downtown and he came to my rescue.”

To her surprise, a tender smile spread across Johanna’s face. “Oh, my. That sounds just like Lars.”

“Lars?” Alex was intrigued by the radiant look that transformed Johanna’s face, making her look twenty years younger.

“My husband—Connor’s grandfather.”

Johanna brought the tray to the pine table while Alex hesitantly perched on a chair. They sat across the table from each other while Johanna poured the tea. Alex was wary, but found herself curious about Connor’s grandfather, and what kind of man held the power to put that particular soft look on Johanna’s face.

Alex wanted to believe this woman was on a friendly mission. But until she could be sure she had to be very, very careful.

“Lars was the noblest man I ever knew.” Johanna chuckled a bit, on a lovely little note of remembrance. “When we met I was fifteen. I had a bicycle, you see. I’d fallen off and scraped my knee quite badly. Lars saw me by the side of the road.” She smiled warmly at the memory. “His father…Connor’s great-grandfather…had bought a truck for the farm the week before. Lars put my bike in the back and drove me home. He was twenty-three and, oh my, so handsome. It’s where Connor gets his looks, you know.” She stared at Alex knowingly over the rim of her cup.

Alex shifted in her chair. How was she to respond to that? Of course Connor was handsome. Devastatingly so. But to agree would be admitting to an attraction she didn’t want, and to ignore the comment…she didn’t want to be insulting, either. It would make her look like she was only after his money. She couldn’t win.

“Connor is handsome. You’d be blind to miss it,” she stated matter-of-factly, revealing essentially nothing.

“It’s the Madsen men.” Johanna nodded sagely. “There’s a picture of Lars’s grandparents around somewhere, on their wedding day. He was a looker too.” Johanna rose and retrieved the bag of cookies from the pantry, handing one to Alex. “It was Lars’s grandfather who settled this place, you know. The government was offering homesteads. He traveled all the way from Norway to start a life here. And the farm has never left the family.

“Which is where you come in.” Johanna pushed her mug aside. “I know that this isn’t a regular marriage. My question is, why are you willing to marry a man you hardly know? And how much of his money do you expect to get out of the deal?”

“I beg your pardon?” Alex put down her mug, confused at the sudden turn of the conversation. First she was friendly, and now she was putting the screws on her? Alex was finding it hard to keep her balance. She understood now that it had all been a part of Johanna’s strategy. Lull her into a friendly conversation and then hit her with the big guns. Alex burned inwardly with indignation. She wasn’t a bad person. This whole situation wasn’t as cold as it sounded.

“What’s in this for you, Alexis? Because being a rancher’s wife isn’t the easy way out, let me assure you.”

Johanna’s eyes were sharp, her lips a thin, unreadable line. Alex had never seen a woman so completely put together: not a hair out of place, not a wrinkle in her clothing, even though she’d been nearly two hours in her car. Alex tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear and tried to shake away the feeling of a chastised child. She hadn’t done anything wrong or deceitful. She’d made the mistake of falling for the wrong guy once, and now she was dealing with the aftermath in the only way she knew how. She didn’t deserve to be judged.

Alex dropped her cookie to the table. “I don’t have any plans of being a rancher’s wife. And I resent the implication that somehow I’m extorting money out of your grandson. I’m doing this for one reason and one only. Security for me and my baby.”

For a few months she could pretend she lived in this secure, traditional world. A husband and a house, and no stress about where the next meal was coming from. It was a sham, all of it, but she had a desperate need to belong somewhere, even for such a short time. But how could she explain that to this woman? Their family tree went back several generations, right here on this farm. She would never understand how displaced and alone Alex had been for most of her life.

“When Connor met me I was alone, working as a waitress, with no real home and a baby on the way.” She looked squarely into his grandmother’s eyes, and gambled that Connor had outlined their agreement already.

“This all took place because he wants to save Windover, plain and simple. Connor marries me so that he can access his trust fund. After the baby is born we’ll go our separate ways, and he’ll help support us until I can get my feet under myself again.”

She didn’t use the word “divorce”, even though it was the proper term. Somehow it seemed cold and hateful, even in a platonic marriage such as this. She did not look away from Johanna’s serious expression. Alex didn’t want to anger Johanna, but neither would she be a doormat, nor accused of being a gold-digger.

“And, to be clear, Connor approached me, not the other way around. I didn’t go looking for a sugar daddy, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“I think I already knew that.” Johanna’s eyes showed nothing of what she was feeling. “But I had to hear it anyway. You are doing this for your baby. What about the child’s father?”

Alex winced. Ryan had been charming—too charming. Alex had fallen for him quickly, absorbing the affection and attention into her love-starved soul. But deep down she’d known he wasn’t the keeper type. When she’d announced she was pregnant he had hit the door so fast she’d felt the draft. In another situation she would have said good riddance to bad rubbish. But this time was different. She was alone again, but with an innocent, precious baby to consider. One she was determined would have a stable, secure life.

“The biological father has no interest in parenthood, I’m afraid. He left me, and the baby I’m carrying.”

Johanna rose and took her cup to the sink. Turning back, she said softly, “What do you ultimately want, Alexis?”

A home. Again the answer came unbidden, and it wasn’t one she cared to share. This was only a temporary home and she had to remember that. What Connor had proposed would make it possible for her to build her own home, a safe, welcoming place for her child. A child who would always feel wanted and loved and a first priority. All the things her parents had tried to provide but somehow she’d missed.

“I want a good life for my baby. I want to make a home for us. I just want a place for my baby to feel loved and safe.”

Johanna walked over to the table and placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “That’s a damned good answer.”

Alex couldn’t keep up with the changes from friend to foe to friend again, and somehow knew she was failing this test miserably.

Johanna’s hand was warm on her shoulder, and Alex hadn’t known how much she’d missed simple human contact. Something about Johanna’s hand, firm and sure, sent feelings rushing up in Alex, and she struggled to hold them rippling beneath the surface. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d even been hugged. The older woman could never understand what a simple touch could do…

“Thank you,” she whispered, sweeping a few crumbs into her palm to try to escape the moment.

“How long has it been?”

Alex straightened. “Since what?”

“Oh, my dear, it’s obvious,” Johanna murmured, nothing but kindness softening her face. “Since someone loved you.”

The tears came so quickly, so completely unexpectedly, that Alex was powerless to stop them. Johanna came forward and tucked Alex into her embrace, and she cried into the older woman’s shoulder. Cried for the second time that week, when it had been years since she’d shed tears. Not once in the time she’d been alone had anyone acknowledged that she hadn’t been loved. Had anyone cared that she might be lonely and afraid. But she was. She was terrified of failing. Of not being enough for her child. She was frightened, quite simply, of the unknown future.

Her breath came in halting gasps, and she desperately tried to even them out as she tasted the salt of her own tears. She had to get herself together.

Connor stepped through the front door, halting abruptly at the sight of his grandmother holding a sobbing Alex in her arms. His throat constricted at the picture they made. So much for maintaining distance. Because the sight of his fiancée and his grandmother together did something to his heart he knew he’d never get back.

* * *

CONNOR STEERED THE tractor to the edge of the field and left it. Tomorrow he’d be back to continue on. Now he’d drive back to the house in the truck.

The noon meal had been tense. He’d rushed the meeting, anxious to get back early so he might arrive before Gram. But he’d been too late. When he’d entered, Alex had turned to the small bathroom off the kitchen, embarrassed, to wash her tear-streaked face and regain control. When she’d returned she had pasted on a smile and apologized that she didn’t have his lunch ready. He hadn’t cared less about lunch. What he’d really wanted to know was what his grandmother had done to provoke such an emotional response. He remembered Alex protesting before that she hated crying. But she’d been in the middle of a full-blown jag when he’d come in.

It was obvious his grandmother approved of Alex, no matter how unorthodox their situation.

Connor started up the pickup and shoved it into gear, a line appearing between his brows. Seeing them together that way…it had been right somehow.

“She’s already had enough hurt in her life, that girl,” Gram had warned under her breath, while Alex had been in the next room, repairing the damage to her face.

He had no plans of hurting Alex further at all. In fact, the more he saw of her, the more he knew he had to protect her. They had made a deal that benefited them both, but ultimately they were from two very different worlds. Now it was up to him to uphold his end.

He would be her friend, but there was no room for anything more. Not if he were to be fair.

As he’d left the house, Gram had said something else. “Be very careful, dear,” she’d said, a hand on his arm. “I’ve never seen a creature more hungry for love and affection than that child.”

Pulling up into the yard, he noticed Gram’s car was gone. Perhaps she’d gone back to Calgary and her own apartment? Connor’s stomach fluttered nervously at the thought of being alone with Alex. “Stupid fool,” he chided himself as he hesitated at his own front door. If they were to be friends only, there should be nothing to be nervous about.

Alex was coming through the living room with a basket of laundry in her arms as he entered. Both stopped in surprise.

“Gram went home?”

Alex laughed, putting down the basket. “Hardly. She’s put her bag in the third bedroom and dug in for the duration.”

“Oh.” Connor’s voice registered disappointment and he put on an optimistic smile. “She’ll be a great help to you.”

“Oh, yes,” Alex replied, a happy smile on her face. “I was terribly worried about meeting her. And we did have a few uncomfortable moments. But once she knew about the baby…”

“She knows?” He stepped forward, surprise lighting his face. All Gram had said at lunch was not to hurt Alex; she’d mentioned nothing about knowing about the pregnancy. Now here was Alex, carefree and happy. He hadn’t seen that particular look on her face before, but he recognized it now. It was devoid of strain and worry. She looked like a woman who’d been given a free pass. Connor hadn’t thought it possible, but it made her even more beautiful.

“Yes,” she chirped. “I must have answered her questions satisfactorily. She’s already making wedding plans.”

Connor’s head spun. The words don’t hurt her and hungry for love echoed through his brain. He’d expected stiff resistance once she knew about the baby. Instead Gram had moved in?

“Is it too soon?”

“What?” he came out of his stupor and shook his head. “Oh. No, of course not, I’m surprised, that’s all.”

“I was too. We had a big talk this afternoon, though, Connor. Your grandmother is an amazing woman. She said she understood I didn’t know much about cooking, and when I told her I’d never gardened she said I could use a helping hand. That she’d missed it, living in her condo the way she does.”

“She did?”

“Uh-huh. And she said she’d help plan the wedding too.”

This was getting out of hand. Weddings and gardens and babies…Connor’s very logical, sensible plan was suddenly spiraling out of control. And all under the hawk-like eye of his grandmother. He agreed that she was wonderful. He also knew she was shrewd. This was her way of keeping a finger in the pie. He knew it and resented it. But he couldn’t send Johanna back to Calgary. Alex was already looking forward to the help. And he was so busy with the ranch he didn’t have time to spend with her except in the evenings. It wasn’t fair for him to expect her to while away her days all alone. If having Johanna here made her happy, he’d keep quiet. And he’d keep his eyes wide open. Helping was one thing. Meddling, however well intentioned, was another.

Besides, the less time he spent with Alex the better. Because sooner or later he’d see her looking at him like she was right now, and he’d be stupid, and kiss her like he wanted to, and complicate everything.

He changed the subject.

“She gave you your first lesson in cooking, I take it?” He looked past her shoulder to the pots bubbling on the stove.

“Yes. But she said she was going into town to have supper with a friend and not to wait up.”

“Probably Millie’s,” he surmised, naming Gram’s oldest and closest friend. And if she revealed what was going on at Windover Ranch, news of his impending marriage would be common knowledge by coffee time tomorrow.

He discovered he didn’t mind as much as he’d thought he would. For a moment he stared at Alex, picturing her in a long white dress, her mass of dark hair falling over her shoulders, and he couldn’t breathe. Alex lifted the basket again, momentarily placing her palm on the slight bubble of her belly, and his heart contracted painfully.

Connor was as hungry for love as Alex…But he could not, would not, seek it from her. She was leaving, and the one thing he knew he could never do was abandon Windover.