Читать книгу The Amish Widow's New Love - Liz Tolsma - Страница 18

Chapter Five

Only the clinking of silverware on the dinner plates broke the silence around the Yoders’ large farmhouse table. Mamm loaded Daed’s plate with another heap of creamed corn. He grasped his fork with his left hand, his right one paralyzed by the stroke, and tried to shovel the vegetable into his mouth.

Much of it ended up back on the plate or in his lap. He grunted, the right of his mouth downturned. “Can’t even eat properly.” He thunked his fork onto his dish, pushed away from the table and reached for his walker.

Elam jumped to his feet and grasped his daed by the elbow to help him to stand.

Daed shook him off. “I don’t need your help. I’m capable of getting out of a chair.”

“I just thought it would be easier...”

“Easier. That’s what you always want, isn’t it?”

Elam scrunched his eyebrows as he stared at his daed. When had the lines formed around his eyes? When had he become an old man? “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“You run away when times get hard. Now you’re back, but for how long? A week? A month? A year?”

“You know I’m back to stay. I came to give you a hand until Isaac returns, but I’m not leaving the district again.”

“I don’t need your help. We could manage just fine.”

Mamm shook her head as she carried the dishes to the sink. “Nein, we weren’t managing at all until Elam came home. How would the crops get planted if not for him? Don’t be a foolish old man. We need his help.” She turned and smiled over her shoulder. “He came on his own, volunteered to do this. Let’s not turn him away.”

Elam sucked in a breath. Is that what Daed wanted to do? Open the door and give him a shove outside?

“Nobody said anything about that.” The muscles on the good side of Daed’s face strained as he pulled himself to a standing position. “Just didn’t ask for his help.” He shuffled out of the kitchen, the back door slamming behind him.

Mamm returned to the table with a dishrag in one hand. She patted Elam’s cheek. “Don’t be so glum. I hate to see you sad like this.” Many laugh lines crinkled around her eyes and mouth. Over the years, she had plenty to be happy about. And plenty of heartaches to cry over.

“He barely tolerates my being here. Even across the table from me at dinner, he glances my way only when necessary. When Isaac returns, he’ll be happier.”

“That’s not true. He loves you.”

“You can’t convince me.”

“He’s afraid he’s going to lose you again. He couldn’t stand that, you know.”

“Why does no one believe that I’m staying put?”

“Give them time to see you’re sincere. When troubles come and you face them head-on, then they’ll trust you.”

“And can they forgive me? Forget the past?”

Her face softened, and she stared at a spot behind him. “That I cannot answer for anyone else.”

When she set to washing the dishes, he wandered outside, the early spring evening cool. Daed wasn’t on the porch. Where could he have gone? In the short time Elam had been home, he’d built a ramp so Daed didn’t have to negotiate the stairs. Mamm had thanked him. Daed had not.

A light shone from one of the barn’s windows, the one that held Daed’s office. Elam walked down the porch steps, across the dusty yard and into the barn, the odors of hay and cows as familiar to him as the smells of Mamm’s apple pie. The animals munched their dinner, lowing songs to each other. On a bale in the far corner, the new litter of kittens mewed.

He entered the office through the open door, Daed at the desk, scratching in the account books with a pencil, his lips drawn tight as he struggled to use his left hand.

“Do you have a few minutes?”

Daed grunted, not even glancing at Elam. “What is it you want?” Even with therapy, his speech remained slurred.

“I’ll do those figures for you later.”

“I’m capable. There may be much I can’t do anymore, but writing is one thing I can. And figuring numbers.”

“I just thought...” This was getting off to a terrible beginning. Best to start over. “What do you have against me?”

“Nothing. You’re my son. But sometimes, I wonder. You always were...” Daed squeezed his eyes shut and furrowed his brow. Sometimes he couldn’t recall the word he needed.

“Independent.”

“Ja, and stubborn and strong-willed. What are you doing here? Why did you truly come back?”

Elam’s windpipe tightened. “I missed this place and the people. And it was time to stop running, to face up to what I did. I didn’t realize that making amends would be so hard.”

“You can’t walk back into people’s lives and expect them to let go of what happened like that. You—” Daed pointed straight at Elam’s heart “—have to prove yourself.”

Isn’t that what he’d been doing? How long was it going to take? So far, he hadn’t made headway with anyone. Including Naomi.

“Time and hard work. That’s what you need.”

Had Daed heard his thoughts? Elam puffed out a breath, then spun on his heel and left the office and the barn. He stood in the farmyard and stared at the multitude of stars in the sky. In the city lights of Madison, they got lost. Here, they were almost close enough to touch.

In order to show the people of the district he wasn’t the man who left, he would have to start with Aaron’s family. Already, he had upset Naomi. He shouldn’t have dismissed her objections to the shaved ice the way he had. If he admitted so to her, perhaps they could work together better.

Aaron sat in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. If that’s the amount of time it took for Elam to make amends for the accident, then that’s how long he would work for it.

* * *

Naomi pressed her nose against the window of Frank’s van. Joseph was peacefully sleeping in the car seat beside her. In her hand, she held the information for his surgery. The one he needed sooner rather than later, according to the information the doctor had just shared. Naomi leaned over her son and whispered. “Dear God, protect my baby. Make him strong. Make me strong. Help us get through this.”

Elam was correct. This year, there were many medical needs in the district. Much as she hated to admit it, she had to work with him on the auction. He was going to bring Simon’s box and meet her at her home to go through it. She would have to be as nice to him as possible. They would get nothing done if they argued.

She rubbed her upper arms. The way Elam held her during the storm warmed her through and through. For a brief glimmer of time, she was safe. Cared for. He watched out for her.

But Aaron would always be a reminder of what happened that night Elam betrayed her trust. He’d broken her brother’s body and her heart. She wouldn’t let Elam back into her life. No matter that Simon threw them together to organize the auction.

Maybe Elam did have a point about the papers, though. Perhaps if she gave them an interview, people would be interested and would come from all over the state to the auction.

Her palms dampened at the thought of having to talk to the reporters. What would they ask her? What would she say?

Just as Frank turned into the driveway, Elam pulled his buggy in behind them. She unbuckled Joseph’s car seat and stepped out with a wave to Frank.

Elam came toward them and tickled Joseph’s tummy, and the now-awake bobbeli squealed. “I hope the doctor had nothing but good things to say.”

“She said it was time to schedule the surgery. He’s going to have it in July.”

“That’s gut, isn’t it?” He grasped one of his black suspenders.

“Ja, I suppose.” So why did her head ache?

He touched her arm. She stepped away. “Please, don’t.”

Nein, she couldn’t rely on him for help and comfort. But her chest ached. Some nights, alone in her room, she cried herself to sleep. How much lonelier it would be when she moved to the dawdi haus. “Come in. We can start sorting through the papers.”

He grabbed the box from his buggy and followed her into the house. Mamm took Joseph and Naomi and Elam settled at the table, the large box between them.

He cleared his throat, and she gazed at him. An uneven red flush mottled his neck. “First of all, I want to apologize for the other day.”

“You...you do?” Why did her stomach dip the way it did?

“Ja. I shouldn’t have dismissed your ideas the way I did. That was inconsiderate of me. You make a gut point. This is an Amish auction, not an Englisch one. All the other items we offer come from our communities. We should forget the shaved ice truck.”

“Having a hard time finding a vendor?” She flashed him a playful grin.

The red creeped into his cheeks. “Well, now that you mention it.” He chuckled, his coloring returning to normal. “I’m not incapable of seeing reason. You were right. I was wrong.”

Warmth seeped into her chest. The old Elam rarely admitted his mistakes. “Denki for your apology. Offering a cold treat on a warm day was a nice thought. Is there an alternative to the shaved ice?”

Elam stroked his clean-shaven cheek. “Your family makes the best ice cream I’ve ever had. Just vanilla, but there is a secret ingredient in there, say not?”

“There is, but you want to make ice cream? How are we going have enough for all those people?”

“That’s a good question.”

“Multiple machines hooked up to generators?”

He grinned, and her arms broke out in gooseflesh. She focused on the pencil in her hand.

“That’s a great idea. Maybe someone in the district has a large-capacity churn.”

“I’ll ask around at the church service next week.”

For a long while, they sorted through the papers, Naomi jotting notes on a yellow legal pad, filling several pages with people they needed to contact, payments that had to be made and ideas they had.

She could almost close her eyes and imagine that the past three years hadn’t happened. Almost. His deep voice washed over her and lulled her.

Elam’s words broke into her into thoughts. “I’d like to make some furniture pieces for the auction. I was hoping your daed would let me use his equipment. I have an Englisch friend who has a workshop in his garage, but I want to construct them the true Amish way.”

If Daed allowed Elam to work here, she would run into him every day, just as she had when he was Daed’s employee. Did her hands tremble because of dread or excitement? She had to say something to him, but what? Surely not that she was happy he’d be so close. “Well, I hope the meeting with him goes well. I think we’ve reached the end of the stuff in the box. I should feed Joseph before he fusses.”

Elam rose and filed the papers away. “And what about the newspapers?”

She locked her knees to keep them from knocking together. “Go ahead and contact the reporters. I’ll speak to them.”

“I have the letters ready to put in the mail. Would you like to read them first?”

“Nein. Just send them.” Before she changed her mind.