Читать книгу Five Go Glamping: An adventure in the countryside for grown ups - Liz Tipping - Страница 13
Оглавление‘I can’t believe she signed my book. So inspiring. Wasn’t it wonderful?’ Sinead was ecstatic in the cab on the way to The Swan as she hugged a copy of ‘You Can Do It’ by Chelsea Aurora Moonbeam.
‘It was okay actually. I quite enjoyed it.’ said Steph and she sounded like she meant it; she definitely seemed a lot calmer than normal. I didn’t say anything and just looked out the window. I couldn’t believe Steph had liked it. All of it was rubbish. After the stupid visualisation part, Chelsea Aurora Moonbeam went on and on about how you had to seize your destiny, but how could you do that if you didn’t know what your destiny was in the first place?
My phone rang. It was Kirk.
‘Where the bloody hell are you all?’ he shouted, always the drama queen. ‘I’m having to do the picture round on my own, there’s twenty bloody questions this week. I’m a nervous wreck!’
‘Calm down Kirk,’ I said soothingly. ‘We’ll be there in a second. Isn’t Gav with you?’
‘He’s not coming. But there’s someone else here I want you to meet. His name is Brian and he’s gorgeous.’
‘We’re here. See you in a sec. Take deep breaths.’ I made faces to the others and they rolled their eyes.
‘He says Gav isn’t coming and he wants us to meet someone gorgeous called Brian’ I said.
None of us really liked Gav, and we were all glad he wasn’t coming. Since Kirk had met Gav, he hardly ever came out with us and we blamed Gav for making Kirk boring.
‘Oh.’ Sinead’s eyes actually filled up with tears. Brian was indeed gorgeous and so cute that Sinead stopped dead in her tracks.
‘I want him,’ Steph cried.
Steph went to pick him up, but he wriggled towards me so I stretched out my arms and sat down with him at the table. He was so beautiful. He nuzzled into my neck and licked my cheek. He was without a doubt the most beautiful pup I had ever seen in my life.
‘I told you he was gorgeous, didn’t I?’ Kirk beamed like a proud parent. ‘Shall I officially introduce you? Fiona, this is Brian Harvey. Brian Harvey, this is Fiona.’
‘Brian Harvey? As in Brian Harvey out of East 17? As in ran over by his own car Brian Harvey?’
Steph looked disgusted for a split second until she looked at Brian and fell in love with him again. ‘Give! My turn!’
I passed Brian Harvey to her and she cooed for a minute until he licked her face which she didn’t like and she passed him to Sinead.
‘He does look a lot like Brian Harvey,’ said Sinead.
It was weird, because he sort of did. But he was still gorgeous.
Kirk pretended to be annoyed with us for not taking the quiz seriously, we never did, but really he was delighted because we were all a little bit in love with Brian Harvey. He had a bit of a moan that we hadn’t asked him to come to Chelsea Aurora Moonbeam but we said it was a girls’ thing. Then he wanted to know why the chap with the crazy trousers was allowed to go, because Sinead hadn’t shut up about him. Kirk said he must be gay, Sinead insisted he wasn’t. Sinead said he was in touch with his feminine side. I said it was more like he was in touch with his crazy trouser side.
‘So we’re going then? To the festivals?’ Sinead pleaded.
‘You promise there are hair straighteners in the yurt?’ asked Steph.
‘I promise.’ I could see Sinead was getting excited.
Steph raised an eyebrow and looked even more intrigued. ‘And we get a proper bed. A proper bed each? And it’s free? Okay then. What do you reckon, Fiona?’
‘I’m not sure. Because you know, the caravan and everything.’
Yes, I was trying to make a caravan with my parents seem more appealing than a free weekend in a luxury yurt. And to be honest, it did. If Steph and Sinead were going to join the Chelsea Aurora Moonbeam cult, then I’d be safer in Weston and I wouldn’t have to pretend to be a tree – or worse, Doris. But it was free. And it might be my last chance to have fun before I ‘seized my destiny’ and turned into Doris in September.
