Читать книгу No Man’s Land - Logan C. Jones - Страница 13

Gone and Lost the Words

The conversation spins into a dull silence.

I feel out of control.

Then come all the internal messages:

Red alert. Red alert.

Battle stations. Battle stations.

Dive

Dive.

Dive.

Take us down, helmsman.

Get us out of the line of fire.

Prepare for depth charges.

KA-WHOOOMPP. KA-WHOOOMPP.

* * * * * * * *

Where did I learn this?

In the moment, I stutter.

I squirm. I stammer.

My throat catches.

Nothing comes out.

I am empty.

Later, after the battle,

I feel all the sadness,

frustration, and anger.

I feel wounded,

shamed, and utterly defeated.

I wondered if I am ruined beyond repair.

When it matters most,

I am without the words I need.

The words do not come.

They are lost.

The gods mock me

with a cruel irony

as I die a little bit

inside.

* * * * * * *

Is there any hope?

Is there any forgiveness?

Is there another way?