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First aid for buying addiction: How shopaholics learn to control themselves

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Essentially, a step-by-step formula against buying addiction can be divided into three central steps. At the beginning there is the already extensively mentioned insight into buying addiction. Affected people must learn to understand their behaviour. This includes not only the admission, but already the next step: When do I want to buy? Am I bored right now or am I stressed or frustrated? Is there a system for my shopping attacks? If one's own behaviour becomes more transparent to oneself, the design of possible countermeasures is made much easier. The first important step is to make the person concerned aware of the consequences of his buying addiction, financially, psychosocially, interpersonally, and to recognize that there are emotional causes for buying addiction.

In second place is then the change in purchasing behaviour, for which the first aid measures listed here play a central role.

The third step is outside help. These should be a behavioural therapy, a self-help group and a debt counsellor. Friends and family or at least a confidant should be initiated in the best case already in the first step.

Although a pronounced addiction to shopping requires therapy, important measures in the fight against coercion can be found here. If you are aware of any tendencies of buying addiction yourself, you can also orient yourself to these practical first aid measures.

Treatment with medication makes little sense, as you have to work actively on purchasing behaviour. If shopping addiction is a side effect of depression or other mental disorder requiring treatment, treatment with medication may make sense in consultation with a psychiatrist and therapist. However, behavioural therapy is still recommended. The combination of application of first aid measures, behavior therapy and self-help groups are important steps out of shopping addiction. Such an overall treatment plan is recommended in severe cases.

Those affected should be aware that their shopping addiction is well treated, but can never be completely cured. There is a psychological tendency to get addicted and there is always the danger of relapse, especially when life situations become stressful. However, this realization is no reason to burrow one's head in the sand. If you stick to a few tips and tricks, you can learn how to deal with shopping addiction and lead a largely unrestricted life.

First aid measures

If the person concerned has come to the conclusion that he or she suffers from a buying addiction, first aid measures must be taken. Since a buying addiction is characterized by faulty money management, a lack of self-control and a high focus on material goods, most of these measures start at precisely these points.

This includes first and foremost dealing openly with one's illness and asking friends and family for support. If therapy discussions have already taken place, the partner or family should be initiated into the strategies and tactics against shopping addiction. In this way, relatives can actively help with the implementation. If the partner has little insight and even doubts the illness, he can come to a discussion with the therapist or participate in a meeting of the self-help group. If family support is completely eliminated, those affected should not be afraid to seek support from an addiction counselling centre. After all, support is one of the most important cornerstones for the successful implementation of first aid measures. Relatives should urgently avoid showering the person concerned with accusations, criticism or blame. Rather, they should be aware of the psychological vulnerability and lability and lovingly support you and not let accusations or "how could you let it get so far?!" sentences fall. The child has literally already fallen into the well, the affected persons are helped by active support that is oriented towards the future and does not repeatedly address the stressful feelings and events of the past.

Credit cards and cheque cards should be issued or blocked as a first measure and only cash payments should be made. Thus, those affected are compelled to be able to buy things only for the amount they carry with them. It is advisable not to let this amount be too high, but to take only the amount that is really needed for the purchase with you. In this way, the attitude to money is changed. External support should be sought for these steps so that this measure can be implemented without compromise. Those severely affected can, if the basis of trust permits, even hand over their finances to another person for a certain period of time. However, this should only be seen as a short-term measure, primarily for self-protection. The buying addict must finally learn a new buying behavior in the long run and should not be completely incapacitated from all financial things for an indefinite period of time. It is important to note that relatives should always treat those affected with respect and treat them at eye level. From the moment he asks for help, he is well aware of his problems and wants to be supported and not condemned.

Confrontation exercises in department stores can be helpful. Putting things aside before paying and leaving the store again without buying anything can be a measure that can counteract buying addiction. In this way, the affected person can learn to control his or her impulses and record his or her first small experiences of success. Usually the compulsion to buy something vanishes when the people concerned have resisted the atmosphere of the shopping malls or the pedestrian zone and were able to escape from the situation. From the point of view of behavioural therapy, these exercises are intended to counter-condition the previous behaviour.

If purchases have to be made that were previously the object of desire, those affected can first take a look at the product in the shop accompanied by an escort. The purchase itself should not be made until the next day, so that the person concerned can reconsider the purchase decision and become aware of the necessity of the product.

For everyday shopping, it helps to write a shopping list and meticulously adhere to it. It often helps to ask someone to accompany you when you are shopping, so that no deviation from the shopping list can take place. The creation of the shopping list should best be done with a trusted person who, in case of doubt, can question the necessity of a certain matter. The shopping list should not include things like "butter" or similar products. The brand and the quantity should be written down specifically. Thus the urge to "have a look" is completely suspended and shopping step by step is no longer perceived as a euphoric activity, but perhaps even as a nuisance.

Sufficient time should be allowed for purchasing. Those who rush through the aisles under stress tend to pack things that they don't need or to compensate for the stress caused by unnecessary shopping in those moments. Since buying is the central problem of the buying addict, he should consciously deal with this action and under no circumstances rush through the aisles stressed out with the aim of escaping the "dangerous" situation as quickly as possible and just not fall into a shopping frenzy. On the contrary, purchasing should be conscious and above all concentrated. The aim is to maintain control over one's own behaviour.

A combination with breathing exercises can help to maintain calm. Instead of planning a bulk purchase once a week, it is advisable to make small purchases several times a week. Large purchases can often trigger a feeling of stress or even excessive demands. Affected people can get stressed by thoughts like "will that last a whole week now?" and tend to buy compensation food for fear of not having enough food in the house. The feeling of control and security plays a central role in this organization and the fact of preventing overbuying.

Even if the person concerned does not go shopping alone, he should ask himself, especially for purchases that do not serve daily use such as toilet paper: "Why would I like to have this watch/jacket/DVD now? "Do I really need them? After the realization "I have a shopping addiction" the affected person is not forced to live abstinently from now on and not to be allowed to buy any more material things. The people affected, just like people with a shopping addiction, have the desire to watch a DVD or to buy clothes. They just need to develop an awareness of why they want to own these things and value them. If the person concerned is aware of the purchase and knows his motives, it is legitimate to buy material valuables.

It is also advisable to keep a purchase diary or purchase records. This should record which goods and products have been purchased at which price. If the expenses and the number of the purchased products are written down and in black and white, it is no longer possible for those concerned to lie to themselves.

The purchase diary can also be extended by your own income and kept as a household diary. Nowadays, household diaries no longer have to be listed in writing, but can be created online. However, it is advisable to keep a household diary by hand, especially for those with a shopping addiction. In this way, the awareness of income and above all expenditure is trained and the brain is better able to remember which expenditure was made for which price. It is important not to create the household diary on the side in front of the television, but to sit down at a table and document your finances with full attention. The advantage of a household diary is that, in contrast to the purchase diary, services are also listed. Since certain services, such as a visit to a hairdresser, can also fall under the term shopping addiction, the person concerned can thus see how often certain services are called upon and whether this is necessary at all in the intervals that have occurred so far.

Sports, meeting friends or painting can help distract you from the urge to buy something. Affected people are encouraged to take on new hobbies or to take up old ones that they have discarded as a result of addiction. For example, those who used to visit the climbing hall regularly or go jogging every morning can take up these leisure activities again in their everyday lives.

Customer accounts both online and on-site should be blocked to reduce the risk of recidivism. Purchases on account or payment by instalments should be avoided completely. It also helps to delete credit card information or payment data from all pages on which those affected have made purchases so far. A potential purchase is of course not made impossible in this way, but it is made more difficult in a certain way. If the person concerned has to enter his or her payment data, he or she will gain time to question himself or herself and his or her current actions and possibly even cancel them.

With the help of youth protection, affected persons can even block entire pages and prevent themselves from shopping. The best thing to do is to ask a trusted third party to block the pages. This prevents the temptation to simply release the pages again with the help of a PIN.

Advertising blockers or filters can help shield some prohibited stimuli from themselves and completely eliminate advertising on the Internet. This makes it easy to eliminate various temptations while surfing.

In general, this should be avoided in the future, online, via television channels or catalogues shopping. In order to minimize the risk of relapse, catalogues should be cancelled or the corresponding television channels blocked.

In addition, a list can be created with all the things that the affected person already has or even position them clearly visible in the apartment. It is also a good idea to carry this list with you when you shop, and even to take it out at times of doubt and remember that you already own this product. In particular, products that have not yet been unpacked or even used should be listed. On the one hand this measure serves as a deterrent, on the other hand it makes the person concerned aware of which things he does not need at all and therefore does not have to buy.

Purchases should be limited to the essential necessary products. "Just like that''' through the shopping mile or visit department stores during the pre-Christmas period should be avoided at first. Special sales, sales or discount campaigns by department stores should also not be used for shopping, so that those affected are not tempted to buy something unnecessary in the first place. Non-affected people can imagine a shopping spree for a shopping addict who is on "withdrawal" as if a dry alcoholic were visiting a bar. Often the company of a friend or family member who supervises the purchase helps. It can help many affected people to write down a list of places they should avoid and carry with them. In addition to shopping centres, weekly markets and pedestrian zones, there may be other places on the list where people are confronted with advertising.

The evening commercial break in the TV should be avoided in the beginning time possibly also. Asking the partner to switch, switching briefly to still at the beginning or consciously focusing on relaxation methods can help regulate thoughts about shopping.

It is even recommended not to travel at the beginning of a treatment against shopping addiction. In foreign places, most people tend to buy things that are not necessary at all and spend money unnecessarily.

Learning relaxation methods such as autogenic training, breathing exercises or yoga can help relieve stress. Endurance or weight training can also have a positive effect. The connection is relatively simple: in stressful situations, various hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol are released. If the body is not able to break down these stress hormones, these tensions affect the psyche and can be discharged in a shopping frenzy. If, however, the body is able to break down these hormones through movement, the psyche and body return to a relaxed state. If you also learn to consciously relax your body, you can influence psychological relaxation through physical relaxation. The perception of mind and body is an important aspect of relaxation methods and even helps to improve self-control. Buying addicts who have problems with this self-control should therefore try out whether one of the many relaxation methods helps them.

However, it should be noted that these tips provide a remedy in acute cases, but only serve to combat symptoms and stop or suppress the delusion of buying. They primarily serve the self-protection of the person concerned, who should not get himself further into financial distress. There is even the danger that if shopping is completely prevented, another addiction will occur. Since those affected suffer from severe withdrawal symptoms as a result of the sudden compulsion to end their shopping addiction, the accumulated feelings and aggressiveness can be channelled into other coercive acts or an addiction.

The causes, the inner conflicts and problems, are still present and must be treated on a long-term basis. Therefore, it is often not sufficient to apply only the first aid measures mentioned above. The causes cannot be eliminated, but in the course of a therapy the affected person can learn which events in the past triggered the shopping addiction in the first place. Acceptance of the past, insight and the learning of new behaviours then come first. The central question that those affected must ask themselves is: WHAT am I missing? What do I try to compensate through my buying behavior? These can be affection, love, recognition, but also the lack of meaningful activity. What can I do to be satisfied with myself and my life again?

Debt due to buying addiction

EC cards, credit cards or other forms of cashless payment quickly tempt you to lose track of your finances. Buying addicts, however, not only lose the feeling of their own financial possibilities, they usually simply ignore them completely. Buying addicts are well aware that they clearly exceed their financial limits. However, this does not prevent them from doing it again and again, because they are far too absorbed by their compulsive behaviour for that. The possibility of obtaining credit or borrowing money from banks makes it easier for people with a shopping addiction to pursue their addiction. If these possibilities are exhausted, it can happen that money is borrowed from friends or family. If this is the case, the true purpose of use is concealed. The affected person increasingly gets feelings of guilt, because in this case the personal component plays an important role. He tries to suppress these feelings of guilt by shopping, which drives him further and further into the negative spiral.

A longer period of time usually elapses before the treatment of shopping addiction can be achieved. Since the people concerned have purchased far more than their financial means, a relatively large mountain of debt has accumulated over this period. Financial problems are thus one of many consequences of buying addiction. It is typical that the exact amount of debt is not even known to those affected. Because reminders and invoices are often thrown away unread.

Many people who are addicted to buying withdraw completely or, depending on their personality, can develop the fixed idea of obtaining money illegally when their money reserves have been used up or when their partner has taken their credit card and cash from them in order to stop the buying frenzy. Often they are involved in theft or drug trafficking, which sooner or later leads to legal consequences.

If bills are not paid, the affected persons may be reported for fraud under certain circumstances. In such a case, punitive circumstances due to shopping addiction must not be expected. As long as shopping addiction has not been recognised as an illness in its own right, defendants cannot hope for a reduction in punishment. However, if the addiction to shopping occurs in combination with another serious condition where the addiction to shopping only occurs as a symptom, the assessment may be different. Due to the lack of recognition of addiction and public debate on both a social and scientific level, many court experts have to impose appropriate conditions and write assessments in the event of shopping addiction. Often a stay in a forensic or closed psychiatric institution is planned.

Another difficulty that arises in the case of buying addiction: a private bankruptcy cannot be applied for if the debts occur in connection with a criminal offence. However, since many shopping addicts often have numerous advertisements from mail-order companies for fraud, the offence is in most cases committed.

In any case, it is worth accepting the help of a debt counsellor who can help you get an overview of your finances and draw up a debt reduction plan. Depending on the scope of services, the creditor then contacts the creditors and agrees repayment formalities.

Outpatient behavioural therapy

Behavioural therapy is a method in the field of psychotherapy. The method of behavioural therapy is often described as helping people to help themselves. In essence, the approach is to make the causes of the problems clear to the patient after he has seen them and how this behaviour has become entrenched in the past. However, the focus of behavioural therapy should be on providing the patient with various methods to help him solve his problems himself. Which form of behavioural therapy is used always depends on the training of the therapist. Cognitive behavioural therapy is the most common form of therapy. This is based on the assumption that problem-solving strategies have been learned wrongly, that wrong assumptions are made, and that the wrong conclusions for further behaviour are drawn from this. The aim of behavioural therapy is therefore to learn new problem-solving strategies in order to be able to cope with one's own life independently again in the long term.

In fact, behavioural therapy is a very important step for severely affected people. The deeper psychological problems, which have led to shopping addiction in the first place, can be specifically addressed and dealt with. The goal is that at some point an inner peace with one's own psychological deficits will emerge and the acceptance that problems exist, but that they can be overcome. The aforementioned conflict with the inner child can also be an issue in psychotherapy. It is highly likely that these conflicts will be discussed with the therapist when researching the causes and that the therapist will help those affected to come to terms with these early childhood experiences.

In the next step, behavioural therapy will focus on purchasing behaviour and develop an awareness of purchasing. This includes, among other things, weighing up the reasons for or against purchasing and thus avoiding unnecessary purchases. In addition, attempts are made to make one's own behaviour more transparent and to reflect on oneself. This means that the question must be asked "When do I feel the urge to go shopping? Once it is clear to the affected person in which situations he would like to go shopping in order to compensate for something, a therapist can be used exactly at this point. Once this awareness has occurred, strategies can be learned to deal with these stressful situations and not give in to the urge to buy.

The University of Erlangen has developed a therapy programme specially designed for people with shopping addictions, the effectiveness of which has been proven in studies. 50% of those affected could be cured of shopping addiction in the long term and did not relapse. The therapy is based on the assumption that the pathological buying behaviour has a disturbance in impulse control. Patients must therefore learn to understand and reflect on their behaviour. Once this has been done, the next step is to redirect. This can be, for example, sport or a particular hobby that is practised until the urge to buy something has evaporated.

Those who have focused on material reward in the past must learn to reward themselves in other ways. This can happen, for example, through sport, hobbies or some other form of self-employment.

Behavioural therapy can take place individually or be organised as group therapy. Individual discussions have the advantage over group discussions that individual problems can be better dealt with. Especially at the beginning of a therapy it is difficult for those affected to open themselves up to a stranger. In an individual therapy, the affected person is only forced to open up to the therapist, which can be a relief for many people due to shame about their problems.

In therapy, the affected person is specifically prepared for life after therapy if he or she has become aware of how his or her addiction to shopping developed at all. Emergency plans are drawn up together with the therapist in the event of a relapse. This includes, among other things, the first aid measures already mentioned. Especially at the beginning of the therapy, possible relapses must be expected. There is nothing unusual about regression in the course of therapy and it is even necessary to take a big step in the right direction. The affected person must learn to stay on the ball and not be discouraged.

No statement can be made about the exact duration of the psychotherapy without considering the individual case. In principle, the duration of psychotherapy depends on several factors. Among other things, the course of therapy and the therapy goal determine the individual duration. The course of a therapy is not predictable, difficult situations in everyday life can cause the shopping addict to relapse again and again, which prolongs the process again and again. If there is also a lack of family or friendly support, a longer duration can be assumed. Ultimately, the extent of the buying addiction determines the duration of therapy and the agreed therapeutic goal. The therapy goal is usually agreed between patient and therapist at the beginning of a therapy and should at best be abstinence and safety with the learned measures and the resulting control. Patients should assume a minimum duration of six months regardless of the course of therapy and the therapy goal. A therapy session usually lasts 50 minutes and in the case of behavioural therapy usually takes place once a week. If desired, the frequency can be increased to two to three times a week, especially at the beginning.

The costs of psychotherapy are borne by the statutory health insurance funds, despite the fact that shopping addiction has not yet been classified as a recognised disease. Privately insured persons must pay for psychotherapy themselves, depending on the range of services offered. If the financial possibilities are limited, a group therapy would be the cheaper alternative.

After the end of psychotherapy, many people still feel unprepared for life without therapy. However, those affected should not be impressed by this, as it is a completely normal sensation. It is important to be aware that the therapy was of great importance for personal development. The affected person has learned a lot about himself and his life and has been given the necessary measures to deal with his obligation to buy. Therapy should always be seen as an opportunity to learn something about yourself, your fellow human beings and life. Despite the fact that psychotherapy is not yet fully recognized in today's society and that some people have many prejudices, it is the best way to come to terms with yourself. The fear of relapse accompanies most people who have undergone therapy for the rest of their lives. In fact, an addict is never completely cured. It is precisely because buying is a socially recognised act that the person concerned will be repeatedly exposed to offers and temptations. Probably he will have to fight against this feeling again and again his whole life. However, those who become aware of how successfully they have already defeated their obligation to buy and resisted some attractive things on a number of occasions will gain the self-confidence to be able to resist this obligation.

Self-help groups

Another important step in the fight against shopping addiction is to go to a self-help group. Self-help groups can also be visited as a supplement to individual therapy. However, they should continue to be visited especially after the end of behavioural therapy as a long-term measure against shopping addiction. An addiction is never considered to be completely cured and anyone who has ever been affected by buying addiction is always in danger of relapsing. Particularly in difficult or stressful life situations, those affected should not shy away from addressing their thoughts and fears within a self-help group if they fear being able to relapse again.

Self-help groups are self-organised associations of people who suffer from the same problems and serve the exchange of information, mutual motivation and sympathy. Although the anonymity of most groups does not demonstrate any scientific effectiveness, many people affected perceive self-help groups, not least because social contacts can be established in this way. Self-help groups can be the right step, especially when those affected have largely isolated themselves socially as a result of their addiction. The feeling of finally being understood and not being alone in the world with this disease is a great relief for many addicts.

Those who are not yet deeply in the debt spiral, have a slightly pronounced shopping addiction or consider themselves to be at risk can visit a self-help group in addition to the first aid measures mentioned above. There, those affected have the opportunity to exchange information with others about addiction and possible everyday strategies. There, an open dialogue can develop about the community feeling that develops and through conversations about addiction and one's own behaviour, shame can be reduced step by step.

The sharing of successes, i.e. having resisted the compulsion, can also help in such successes. Affected people can have the courage to talk, get tips from others and learn that other people can deal with shopping addiction and have accepted it. The leader of the self-help group is usually an affected person who has already successfully defeated the addiction and can therefore act as a mentor.

If the persons concerned have isolated themselves socially, a self-help group can be important in order to re-establish social contacts. However, contacts and friendships from the past should be taken up again in order to bring a certain normality into everyday life. If the addict only has contact with people who were or are also addicted to buying, it can quickly happen that the resulting friendship is only about the addiction. There is too great a danger that dealing with addiction will become a central issue in everyday life for those affected. Often, relationships among addicts are merely purposeful relationships that serve self-affirmation and are marked by lasting comparisons among themselves. With the help of a therapist, shopping addicts should try to re-establish their social structure, which may have fallen apart, or work out a new one. For new social contacts, for example, hobbies can be used, where contacts can be made easily and without having shopping addiction in mind. However, new acquaintances should be quickly informed of the shopping addiction in order not to risk a relapse through joint leisure activities.

The Colors Of A Optimistic World

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