Читать книгу Perfectly Matched - Lois Richer - Страница 11

Chapter Three

Nick sat on his mother’s deck with Shay’s words running through his mind as warm spring rain pattered down on the awning above him.

Staying in Hope for who knew how long—at least until Maggie was walking—would cost him his future.

Why? he asked God. You took my career. Okay, so I’ll start over. But I only have six months here. Then I have to go.

It wasn’t that Nick didn’t love Maggie. He wanted to see Georgia’s daughter walk again with every fiber of his being.

But if he took on her therapy and it took longer than six months, what would he do about his future?

Confusion filled him. He’d been so certain the coaching job in Seattle was God’s answer to his prayer. Helping his mom with Maggie was supposed to give him time to prepare for the only job he felt qualified for.

But if I’m not supposed to do that job, what am I supposed to do, God?

When no miraculous way out presented itself, Nick considered his options.

He could take Maggie with him, back to Seattle.

He discarded that immediately. Even if he did hire someone to work with Maggie, his mom wouldn’t want to move back there. And Nick was pretty sure his mom would never allow her grandchild to live so far away from her.

Maybe he could hire someone in town, as Shay had suggested.

Nick scratched that idea, too. He’d already phoned around. Hope didn’t have someone of the caliber he needed for Maggie. And if he hired a certified trainer to come to Hope, he’d be too far away to keep an eye on things. Plus, if he spent his savings on Maggie, what would he do if his mom or sisters needed money? His savings would be gone and his dad sure couldn’t be counted on to help.

Defeat swamped Nick as he finally accepted that he had no choice. He would stay in Hope for however long it took to help Maggie. He’d stay and play the heavy and push her even when she cried for mercy.

He dreaded that most of all.

Nick had been through therapy. He remembered too well the days it took every effort just to show up. But he’d done it because, in the back of his mind, he’d hoped he could get back in the game, get his life back. Maggie wouldn’t have that drive. She was just a little kid. The intense therapy Shay was talking about would hurt her. But if, as Shay said, the only alternative was a wheelchair, he could not—would not—back down. She had to do it.

“What are you doing out here, son?” His mother handed him a steaming mug.

Nick took it and smiled. Peppermint tea, her panacea for all of life’s ills.

“You do know it’s past two-thirty?”

“I know. Just thinking.” He couldn’t tell her what was on his heart. His mother would feel responsible. If she guessed his fears, she might insist on moving back to Seattle for his sake, and he knew how little she wanted to leave her friends, her home and the desert dryness that eased her arthritic pain. “Shay’s plan—it’s going to be hard on Maggie, Mom. Really hard.”

“I know. I should have pushed the child to do more, but—”

“No.” He wouldn’t let her feel guilty. “What you did was good. But now it’s going to get intense. Shay says Maggie has to get walking, and soon.”

“I’ve been praying about that.” His mother sat down next to him on the built-in bench that ran the length of the deck, a small part of the extensive renovations he’d had done on her house after he’d signed his first big contract. “I know God has a plan in all this, but I just can’t see it,” she said, sniffling.

“Me neither,” Nick muttered, trying to suppress his frustration. As his mother’s tears spilled down her cheeks, he lifted his arm and hugged her against his shoulder. “Don’t cry, Mom. We have to be strong now. For Maggie.”

“You’ve always been a pillar of strength to me, son. I thank God for you every day.” Before Nick could say anything further, she’d launched into a prayer that included him, Maggie, Shay and half the town of Hope. That was Mom, always talking to God about every detail in her world.

Nick only half listened. Lately his communication with heaven seemed distinctly one-sided. Probably had something to do with what he felt was the unfairness of his world. First his career, then his sister. Now it seemed God wanted his job, too.

When his mom finished praying, she lifted her head to smile at him.

“I’m going to bed. You should go, too. You’ll need your rest to help Maggie.” She rose, held out a hand.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.” Nick took her hand, gently squeezed the gnarled fingers and brushed a kiss against her silvery head. “I’ll be up shortly, Mom. You go ahead.”

“Don’t fret, Nick. God will handle everything. After all, He sent us Shay. Aren’t you glad she’s back?”

“Yeah.” And he was, Nick realized. He didn’t know anyone else he’d rather work with on Maggie’s care.

“You two always made such a great pair. You always seem so perfectly matched, as if you can read each other’s minds.” She smiled. “You were always inseparable.”

“Maybe when we were kids.” But Nick heard a note in her voice that made him study her face. “There’s nothing between Shay and I now, Mom. We’re just friends.”

“But good friends, right? And who knows when that could change.”

Oh, yeah, she was implying something more than friendship all right.

“It’s not going to change, Mom. It can’t. Shay knows that in six months I’m leaving town. And she’s staying here, at the clinic. But in the meantime we’re both going to do the best we can for Mags.”

“I know you will,” his mom said soberly. “You’ll be perfect together.”

“I don’t know about that.” He grimaced. “We’ll probably argue. As Shay reminded me, therapy isn’t fun. I don’t mind for myself, but I wish I could make things easier for Maggie.”

“You and Shay will find a way to help her,” his mother assured him. “Put you two together and the world of possibilities is huge. I just need to have faith that God is going to use both of you to do wonderful things for my granddaughter.” She kissed him on his forehead the same way she did with Maggie, took his empty mug and walked inside.

Nick waited until the light in her room blinked out, doubting she’d heard his warning that nothing more than friendship was going to happen between him and Shay. Knowing there was no way he could sleep with everything whirling around in his head, Nick walked over to the old shed he’d taken refuge in when he was eleven, the day his dad had left them. It wasn’t much back then, but it was where he’d first begun tinkering with his mom’s vacuum and later found out he had a knack for adapting machines. The old shed had been revamped and modified as his inventing took over. When he’d had his mom’s house renovated, Nick had more electrical outlets added and installed more tools and a better workbench to the shed.

Christmas, holidays, celebrations—he came out here every time he came home, relishing the fact that no matter how long he was away or how far removed Hope seemed from the rest of his world, the peaceful ambience in the shed never changed. Coming in here gave him the same satisfaction it had as a kid—here, he could let his imagination take flight. He flicked on the light and studied the assortment of his inventions that he’d unearthed the past few days.

His mom had said God sent them Shay. He had to agree. The fact that Shay was going to help Maggie walk again filled him with a feeling he couldn’t quite describe. It was deep gratitude, of course, but it was also something else, something that made him a little uneasy. All he knew was that he had to bring his A game to this whole process—he didn’t want to let anybody down. Least of all Shay.

Nick reached down and picked up a gizmo he’d invented years ago. It gave him an idea. If he could come up with something fun, something that kept his niece’s attention off her pain and encouraged her to take another step, that would push her to work harder and help both Shay and him be more effective. And it would also help him keep his mind off whatever it was he was feeling about Shay Parker.

* * *

“Uncle Nick? Where are you, Uncle Nick?”

Nick jerked awake, suddenly aware that the desert sun shone through the small shed windows with a strength that said he was very late.

“Uncle Nick!”

“I’m coming.” Nick shut off the lights and laid a tarp over his work. Fiddling with it felt good but it was probably a waste of time because, despite the hours he’d spent scouring the internet for information on Maggie’s injury, he still wasn’t sure of exactly what he was trying to accomplish. He turned his back on the mess he’d created and walked into the yard.

“Hey, pumpkin.”

“Did you go to bed last night?” Maggie’s brown eyes stretched wide.

“Nope. Working.” He let one of her ringlets twine itself around his finger.

“Can I see?” Maggie asked eagerly. She was sitting on the porch swing he’d had installed last Mother’s Day. From the corner of his eye, Nick saw Maggie move. With the tiniest movement of her body Maggie had managed to put the swing into motion. It was the first time he’d seen her extend such an effort. Excitement filled him, but he kept his cool.

“Uncle Nick, did you get something working?” Maggie pressed.

“Not yet. It won’t do what I want.”

“It will. You can build anything. Remember that robot you made at Christmas? I love your inventions.” Maggie’s smile had a child’s blithe confidence of a world where good always triumphed. If she could see the good in things, Nick felt challenged to rid himself of his feelings of defeat

“Grandma says you’re taking me to see Shay today.”

“What do you think of that?” he asked, watching her face.

Maggie shrugged. “Is she a doctor like Aunty Jaclyn?”

“No. She works at the same clinic, but Shay’s a physiotherapist. She helps people use their muscles,” Nick explained.

“Grandma says she’s going to help me walk again.” Maggie’s voice trembled slightly.

“Would you like that?” He held his breath waiting for her response.

“Yes!” Her eyes glittered with excitement. “Staying with Grandma is nice, but I want to go to school like other kids do.”

“It’s going to take a lot of hard work, Mags, and it might hurt,” he warned.

“It hurts now,” Maggie said, fear in her eyes.

“Once your muscles get used to working, I don’t think it will hurt so much anymore. We can ask Shay about that. Okay?” Nick waited for her nod, satisfied that at least she was willing to try, even if she didn’t yet know what was to come. “Well, I’d better shower and get changed. Are you okay here for now?”

Maggie nodded. Then, with the slightest stretch she again touched her toe against the floor and pushed. A hiss of pain escaped her lips, but as the swing moved she grinned. “I prayed and asked God to help me to walk again.

“Good for you.” Nick stemmed the urge to tell her not to try too hard. Because according to Shay, that was exactly what Maggie would have to do in the coming months.

She seemed up for it. But was he?

You have to be. This is no different from when Dad walked out and left Mom with five kids to feed.

As the eldest, Nick had taken very seriously the responsibility of making sure his family was okay. Just as he had back then, he would now put aside his own plans for the good of the family.

He’d ignored his counselor’s advice to get his engineering degree because football was in his heart and a career with the pigskin was the quickest way to give his family all the things his father hadn’t. And he’d never regretted that choice. But now that playing football was over, Nick felt he’d lost the one thing that had provided him with a sense of security and made him feel competent in his caregiver role. He needed the coaching job so he’d be able to confront his father in his mind and say, “See, even though I’m out of the game, I’m still not like you. I’m not walking away from my family.”

Like his father cared. He’d written them all out of his life.

“I need that job, God,” Nick whispered, self-conscious about his prayer. “But I want Maggie walking more. Can You make both of them happen?”

As prayers went, it wasn’t stellar. And Nick didn’t hear a heavenly response inside or outside his head. He’d have to check in with God again later. Right now it was time to take Maggie to Shay’s office for her first therapy session.

* * *

“Maggie, do you want to walk again?”

Shay crouched in front of the little girl, blocking her view of Nick watching from the sidelines.

“Yes.”

“Do you want it enough to keep trying when Uncle Nick asks you to, even though it hurts?” She saw fear creep into Maggie’s big round eyes and laid a reassuring hand on the child’s thin arm.

“I—I think so,” came the whispered response.

Shay lifted one eyebrow.

“I want to walk.” Maggie’s chin jutted out. “I am going to walk.”

“Atta girl.” Shay hugged her, loving the spirit she saw in the child’s brown eyes. “Now that we’ve stretched, let’s see how your legs feel about walking.” She ignored Nick’s gasp and eased Maggie into a standing position. She carefully guided one foot forward, ensuring Maggie had a hold of the rails on each side of her.

“Ow!” Maggie cried out.

Shay sensed more than saw Nick jerk upright.

“I know it hurts, honey. Your legs are mad. You haven’t used them for a long time and they’ve gotten lazy. They like having Uncle Nick and Grandma carry you around.” Shay kept working as she spoke. “You lazy legs! You’ve been on a long holiday, but your vacation is over now. It’s time for you to get to work.”

A couple of minutes were all Maggie could bear upright, but that was okay. They’d taken the first step, literally. Shay helped her lie down on a floor mat then massaged her muscles until they were relaxed.

“See over there, Maggie?” She pointed to the corner of the room. “There’s a video camera there. It took pictures of you when you walked today. Each time you come here we’re going to take more pictures. Then, in a little while, you’ll be able to see how the exercises are helping. Are you ready to do more now?”

Maggie frowned. “I guess so.”

“Good.” Shay motioned Nick over so he could watch and repeat each stretching move she made. When Maggie winced and attempted to pull away, Shay reassured her, keeping her distracted with a silly game for each exercise. When Nick didn’t use enough force, Shay laid her hands on top of his and guided his movements. The contact gave her a nervous quiver in the pit of her stomach. She wished his touch didn’t make her want to jerk away from him.

When would she be able to move on from those memories?

“Good job,” Shay praised after an hour had passed. She grinned at Nick. “And you, too.”

“Are we finished now?” Maggie’s red face shone with perspiration. “’Cause I’m tired.”

“It is time for a break. You worked very hard, honey. I’m so proud of you.” Shay hugged the little girl.

“Uncle Nick worked hard, too,” Maggie said. “Aren’t you going to hug him?”

“I think Uncle Nick’s too big for hugs,” Shay said, nonplussed by the child’s comment.

“Nobody’s ever too big for a hug. That’s what Grandma says.” Maggie waited.

Uncomfortable, already way too aware of Nick, Shay had little choice but to place her arms around his waist and hug him. She pulled away quickly as panic knotted her insides.

“Shortest hug in history,” Nick complained. His teasing grin made her blush.

Shay swallowed hard and admitted the hard truth to herself. It wasn’t just panic that had her pulling away from Nick so quickly. It was something else, something that made her wonder what it would be like to really hug him, not as the friend she remembered from high school, but as the devastatingly handsome man he’d become, a man who made her wish he’d hug her back.

That made her really nervous.

“Now, Maggie,” Shay said, hurrying to get her focus back on task. “I want you to rest—I’ll give you a juice box and a book. Then, after you have rested, there are a few other things we need to go through.”

“I can’t really read yet,” Maggie mumbled, her cheeks reddening.

“Oh, you’ll be able to read this.” Shay handed her a book specially designed for preschool kids. Soon the room was filled with the recorded sounds of barnyard animals telling a story. “We’ll be back in a minute. You stay there, okay, honey?”

Maggie nodded absently, already enthralled by the story. Shay motioned to Nick to follow her outside. She led the way to her office, made them each a cup of coffee and then sat down.

“So that’s the first part. What do you think?” Shay deliberately chose the chair behind her desk instead of sitting next to him, where she usually sat with most caregivers. But then again, most caregivers didn’t have the strange effect on her that Nick Green seemed to be having today. Just thinking about that hug made her take a minute to control her rapid breathing. “Okay?” she asked.

“I think I can manage. As long as I don’t hurt her.”

“She’ll tell you if you do. Go slowly. Warm up thoroughly at first with the stretches.” She leaned forward, intent on making him understand. “Don’t skip anything, Nick. Each move is designed to prepare for the one that follows.” She checked the closed-circuit monitor on her desk to ensure Maggie was still resting and reading. “She’s a great little girl. I think she’ll do well.”

“As long as I don’t mess up,” Nick muttered as he stared at his hands. His troubled gaze met hers. “She’s so—delicate.”

A rush of heat warmed Shay’s heart. Nick was always concerned about his precious family. One glance at her appointment book told her she shouldn’t make the offer she was about to make, but Nick had been there for her when she’d needed him most. She had to help him now.

“I could come to your mom’s place tomorrow morning to watch you go through your paces the first time. If you’d like,” she offered.

“Would you?” Relief flooded his handsome face. “I’d really appreciate it. That way Mom could watch, too, just in case I have to be away or something.”

Shay’s heart sank at the words, but she struggled to sound detached.

“Nick, I told you last night. This can’t be hit or miss. Maggie needs the same routine every day. Besides, I doubt your mom could manage all the manipulations Maggie needs. You have to do it, no matter how unpleasant.”

“You’re making it sound like I’m trying to get out of helping Maggie.” His face tightened with irritation.

“Are you?” she asked, keeping her voice even.

Anger lit a fire in his dark eyes. “I’m here, okay, Shay? I will be here for however long it takes. In the event something comes up, we’ll work it out together. Okay?” When she nodded he put his cup down and rose to his full height. “Let’s get on with it,” he said in a flat voice.

Nick walked out of the room. Knowing he was frustrated with her, Shay kept her distance until they reached her treatment room.

“I’m sorry if I irritated you, Nick. But Maggie has to be my first concern. You understand that, don’t you?”

“Yes.” He sighed. “Forget it, okay?”

“Okay,” she agreed. She laid her hand on the doorknob then froze when his covered hers a millisecond later. In a flash, panic swamped her and she flinched away from his touch.

“Shay?” When she didn’t answer, Nick tipped her chin up so she had to look at him. She tried not to flinch again. “What’s wrong?”

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. She tried to avert her eyes but couldn’t. “N-nothing. I’m fine.”

“That’s not true.” His brows drew together as their gazes locked. “You’re shaking,” he said in surprise.

“I’m fine, Nick.”

“Sure you are. That’s why you’re acting like I’m going to hurt you.” His eyes blazed. She could almost hear his perfect, even teeth grit together. “I am not your stalker, Shay.”

“I know that.” She tried to move away to gather her composure, but he blocked her path.

Nick’s face softened. “He sure did a number on you. Did you ever get some help?”

“I’m fine.” Shay laid her hand on the knob again, eager to get his attention off her.

“You’re not fine.” Nick reached out as if to touch her cheek, saw the way she recoiled from him and let his hand fall to his side. “Obviously,” he murmured.

“I will be.”

“Oh, Shay. You can’t make yourself be fine any more than Maggie can.” He lowered his voice. “Promise me you’ll talk to Brianna.”

“The thing is, I have to handle this myself, Nick, in my own way. And I will.” Embarrassed, she dragged open the door and pasted on her brightest smile. “Okay, Maggie. How was the book? Are you ready for some more work?”

Behind her Nick said nothing. But throughout the entire session she could feel his intense scrutiny. Shay knew she had to get a better grip on her reactions or risk Nick seeing just how out of control her panic attacks had become.

Coming home, back to Hope, was Shay’s fresh start. She would not allow the past to tarnish her life here. A nice guy like Nick—her friend—didn’t deserve the way she shrunk away from him.

Tonight she’d study her self-help book some more, see if she could discover a new technique to suppress her fear. She’d pray longer, harder. Somehow she would figure out a way to be whole again, to heal that scar her stalker had left her with.

She knew there was nothing to fear in Hope. Nothing at all.

So why was she still terrified?