Читать книгу A Dad for Her Twins - Lois Richer - Страница 10

Chapter Two

“You don’t have to do this, Cade. I’ll find another way. I’ll figure out something.” Abby’s voice broke through the silence that had reigned since they’d left the city behind. “There’s no need for you to put yourself out like this.”

Abby’s words drew Cade from his morose contemplation. He suddenly realized she thought his silence meant that he didn’t want her at his home.

“What other solution do you have in mind?” He drove silently, waiting for her response with undiluted curiosity.

“I could sleep on my friend’s couch while I think of the next step.” Those green eyes of hers squinted at him with defiance. “Isaiah 62:7 says, ‘Put God in remembrance of His promises.’”

“Uh, okay,” he said, clueless as to her meaning.

“It means that if I keep praying, I know that eventually He will give me an answer.”

“Until He does, maybe this is His answer—coming to my place, I mean.” Cade didn’t actually believe that, but Abby’s certainty that God would help her intrigued him. He’d never known anyone so confident in God.

“It’s not His answer if it’s going to put you out or make things difficult in your home.”

“Things are already difficult in my home.” The words burst out of him. As soon as they were said he wished he could retract them but, of course, Abby’s curiosity was obviously pricked.

“What do you mean?” she asked with a frown.

How to explain? Cade tossed around several responses. There was no easy way to say this.

“I got leave from the military because my father had a stroke and couldn’t run the ranch himself. In fact, he was on the verge of bankruptcy.” Cade licked his lips, mentally framing his explanation. “The day of Max’s funeral, Dad had a second stroke. That’s why I wasn’t there.”

“I heard.” She blinked and nodded. “Go on.”

“The stroke not only paralyzed him and took away his speech, but it left him locked inside his anger.”

“Anyone would get frustrated in such a condition,” Abby murmured.

“Trust me, he was frustrated long before he had a stroke,” Cade muttered. “My father is a very angry man. He’s been that way for as long as I can remember. It’s my fault. He hates me.”

“That can’t be true,” Abby gasped. “I’m sure your father doesn’t hate you.”

A faint smile twisted Cade’s lips. Max was the only other person he’d told his life story to and he’d shown the same reaction.

“He hates me because I killed my mother.” Why did the knowledge still hurt so much? “She died giving birth to me.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Abby’s hand touched his shoulder, then fluttered away. Her voice dropped. “But even so—it can’t be true. You must have confused something. He probably got so caught up in his own pain and didn’t know how—”

“No.” Cade heard the sharpness in his own voice, felt his jaw tighten. “You can’t romanticize it, Abby. Even if he was decimated by grief, it’s been over thirty years and his attitude toward me hasn’t changed one iota. His anger and the way he took it out on me for my entire life is the reason I left home and joined the military.”

He swallowed the rest of what he wanted to say. His fingers gripped the steering wheel as he turned off the highway and into Buffalo Gap. It struck him that he’d received his wish. A woman now sat beside him. The rumor mill would be rampant with speculation.

Cade with a woman? He hasn’t brought anyone to the Double L since that woman, Alice, and Ed chased her off pretty quick.

Again Cade pretended he didn’t see the curious stares. He drove stoically through the small town.

Cade didn’t get involved in Buffalo Gap. He didn’t have time for it. The constant mental battles with his father left him beaten and worn down, as did the challenge of constantly avoiding another misstep that would take the ranch to financial ruin. He didn’t have time to socialize with the townsfolk.

Max had told him once that women could sense the anger festering inside him and so they steered clear of him. Cade now knew that was true. In his life he thought he’d loved only two women and both of them had dumped him after a visit to the ranch. Cade had blamed his father’s anger and rudeness, but he knew the truth; he simply wasn’t the kind of man women cared for. He lacked the softness that having a mother would have given him. Now Cade no longer wanted the complication of romance in his already uncomfortable world.

But with sudden awareness, he now realized that to expect Abby to endure the simmering discontent of his father was a bad idea. She said she had a little more than three months to go before the twins were due; three months in which she should be pampered and soothed to prepare for delivery. Cade was no expert on human birth, of course, but he’d helped deliver hundreds of calves and about the same number of colts, and he knew giving birth was hard work for any mom.

“Cade?” The softly voiced query drew his attention to Abby. “I don’t have to stay on your ranch. I could go to my friend’s or a shelter, if that would be better for you. I don’t want to cause you problems.”

“You can’t stay in a shelter. Max would never have allowed it and neither will I.” Admiration for her pluck drove off the brooding that always enveloped him when he thought of his father. Cade focused instead on the small woman in the opposite seat.

“But I need to prepare you for what you’ll find. And I want to ask you to, as much as possible, avoid my father. He’s very unhappy with the way I’ve been managing the ranch and with the decisions I’ve made. He refuses to work at his physiotherapy. He often won’t eat the meals our housekeeper, Mrs. Swanson, prepares. He deliberately knocks things over and bangs his cane against anything to express his anger.”

“Oh, the poor man.” Abby’s eyes welled with tears. For some reason that made Cade very angry.

“He’s not a poor man. He’s unhappy, as he’s always been, and he’s trying to make everyone else feel the same.” Cade had to force his fingers to relax on the steering wheel as he drove the gravel road toward the ranch. “I have only one rule for your stay on the Double L, Abby. You must avoid my father. I won’t risk anything happening to you or to Max’s babies.”

Abby’s eyes widened before she turned to look out the window. Cade hated the worry he’d glimpsed there, but he was issuing the warning for her sake.

“Maybe I should go somewhere else—” she began.

“I’ve made you afraid.” He cut off whatever else she’d been going to say, mentally stewing over his lack of subtlety. “Don’t be afraid, Abby. Physically, you will be perfectly safe at the ranch.” He used the gentlest voice he could muster but mostly Cade was out of touch with gentleness.

“But you said—”

“My father has never deliberately physically harmed Mrs. Swanson or me. He uses words instead.” Cade pushed ahead with his confession. “His negative state can be very depressing. I don’t want you to be depressed or unhappy. For that reason I want you to avoid him, as much for your sake as for his.”

Cade pulled up in front of the big white farmhouse that had been home for his entire life. He switched off the truck. Then he turned to look at Abby. She returned his stare, her clear gaze direct and unflinching. Her hands smoothed over her bulging stomach in a protective shield before she spoke.

“I’m here as your guest, Cade. I’ll do whatever you ask. I don’t want to cause any problems for you or your father.” She smiled and Cade noticed the faint trace of dimples in her cheeks. “I’ll try not to be a bother to anyone.”

“You could never be that, Abby. Just be advised. Don’t expect a nice, kindly old man. He’s not.”

Clearly she didn’t believe him. Abby was sweet and good, everything he’d missed from life, everything he craved but couldn’t have. He tore his thoughts away from that thinking and turned his attention to the front window. His father sat there, watching. Cade knew the time for talking was past.

“Welcome to the Double L, Abby.” He climbed out of his truck, walked around to the other side and opened her door. “I’ll introduce you to my father and Mrs. Swanson. Then you can settle in.”

“Thank you.” She held out her hand so he could help her down, letting out a tiny squeal of surprise when he simply lifted her and set her on her feet on the snowy pebbled driveway. Her cheeks grew warm when she noticed surprise on the housekeeper’s face where she stood in the open doorway. His father was there now, too, his usual scowl deepening in disapproval.

Cade’s fingers curved around Abby’s arm. He knew she could feel the tension rippling through his body. Absently he noticed that his boots crunching on the stones made the only sound in the crisp winter air.

“Come in, the pair of you.” Mrs. Swanson’s round face beamed. She pulled his father’s wheelchair backward. Cade urged Abby forward so he could close the door behind them.

“Mrs. Swanson, Dad, this is Abby McDonald. She’s my friend Max’s wife. You remember Max? He used to visit when we had leave.” Cade’s voice tightened. He paused, then resumed speaking, this time in a firmer tone. “Abby’s going to be staying with us for a while.”

“It’s very nice to meet you.” Abby stepped forward, hand outstretched. It was obvious that she remembered too late that Cade had said his father was partially paralyzed. Both his hands lay in his lap. Abby bent, covered his fingers with hers and gently squeezed, smiling in spite of his fierce glare. Then she moved to the woman who stood next to Mr. Lebret’s chair. “Finally I meet the legendary Mrs. Swanson. Max talked a lot about your amazing apple pies.”

“Ah, the dear, dear lad.” Mrs. Swanson’s faint Scottish brogue died away as she sniffed. “’Tis sorry for your loss I am. Max was a good man. He’d wrap me in those gigantic arms of his and swing me around till I was dizzy.”

“Me, too,” Abby whispered with a watery smile.

“I think Cade brought him here to fatten him up. Never saw a man who could eat like your Max did and not gain an ounce.” She slid an arm around Abby’s waist and urged her forward. “Come, my dear. You’ve had a long drive. It’s tea you’ll be wanting to revive you.”

“Tea would be lovely. Thank you.”

Cade almost laughed aloud at the expression on Abby’s face. She looked as though she was being swept along by a tidal wave.

“But I can make tea myself,” Abby protested. “I don’t want to be a bother. You don’t have to wait on me.”

“’Twould be my pleasure to care for Mr. Max’s wife and her wee bairn,” Mrs. Swanson assured her, patting Abby’s stomach gently.

“Bairns,” she corrected. “I’m having twins.”

“Well, glory be!” Mrs. Swanson chuckled again, then urged her forward.

Abby glanced back once, just in time, Cade knew, to see the word his father scrawled with a fat felt marker across a pad of paper lying on his lap.

No!

There was no subtlety in the stark, one-word comment. Cade met Abby’s gaze, saw the question in her eyes. He shook his head once firmly, then smiled, a tight, controlled twist of his lips. Anger tightened his shoulders. He spoke in a careful tone.

“You go with Mrs. Swanson, Abby. Dad and I will join you in the kitchen for tea in a minute.” When she hesitated, he nodded at her as if to reassure her.

After a second check of Cade’s face, Abby gave in. Judging by her expression, she understood he didn’t want her to overhear his discussion with his father. A wave of sympathy rolled through her vivid green eyes before she walked back to him, stood on her tiptoes and murmured for his ears alone, “Max always said you were the most caring man he’d ever known. He told me stories of how you encouraged and praised the men in your unit.” She touched his arm, squeezed. “Now I’ve witnessed your kindness for myself. You don’t have to shield me, Cade. I’m tough. I’ll be fine.”

“Thank you for understanding.” Cade felt the warmth of her smile touch his cold heart, but as she and Mrs. Swanson left the room, the warmth faded. He chose his words carefully, using a measured voice to explain Abby’s situation to his father, leaving out the worst details and making generalizations that would save her embarrassment.

“She will stay for as long as she needs to. I owe Max that.”

His father glared at him, then shoved his pen in his shirt pocket.

Cade pushed his dad’s chair into the kitchen. As they drank Mrs. Swanson’s tea he thought how perfectly Abby fit in. It would be nice to have a friend like her. But when Abby teared up as she answered Mrs. Swanson’s questions about Max, Cade snapped back to reality. It was clear Abby wasn’t nearly over mourning his death.

Cade was pretty sure Abby wouldn’t want a friendship with him, not when he should have been there to protect her husband.

* * *

Nothing was going the way Cade hoped. As they sat around the dinner table, he appreciated Abby’s valiant efforts to make the meal enjoyable. She told them amusing stories, complimented Mrs. Swanson on everything she served and asked him questions about the ranch.

But through it all, his father sat at the head of the table, grim-faced, his fists clumping on the table when he was displeased, fingers clenching around his black felt marker to scroll a series of angry commands across his writing pad.

Cade was utterly embarrassed and deeply ashamed of his parent by the time the meal was finished. He could hardly wait for Mrs. Swanson to push his father’s chair to the television room so he could apologize to Abby for his father’s behavior.

“I’m so sorry,” he said when they were alone in the dining room. “I expected him to fuss about having you here, but—” He shook his head. “I’ve never seen him as full of rage as he seemed tonight. I apologize for his making you feel unwelcome. If you’d rather leave—”

“Stop apologizing for something you can’t change, Cade.” The twinkle in Abby’s green eyes surprised him as much as the smile twitching at the corner of her lips. “Anyway, I think tonight was good for him.”

“Good for—” He gaped at her. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Did you see the way he kept grabbing that pen and writing on the paper?” She spread her small, delicate hands wide. “You told me he hasn’t been doing his physiotherapy. But he was sure giving those fingers a workout tonight.” She rose, walked to the end of the table where his father had been sitting and gathered the scrunched-up pieces of paper from the floor. Then she laid them on the table, one by one on top of each other, looked at him and grinned. “See?”

Cade moved to stand beside her. He sifted through the sheets of paper, each with an angry word scrawled across it.

No! Won’t have it! Quiet! Stop. Some of the words were repeated. There were fourteen sheets in all. It was the biggest effort Cade had seen his father make since his stroke.

He lifted his head to stare at her, confused but somehow more lighthearted than he’d been in years.

“Maybe my being here isn’t so bad after all,” Abby said timidly, “if it forces your father to fight, and by that I mean put out some effort. Isn’t that good for him?”

“Abby, your being here isn’t bad at all. You bring lightness that’s been missing from this place for a long time.” As he said it, Cade realized the truth in his words. She’d been in his home only a few hours but already Abby made things seem bearable, though he wasn’t sure exactly how she did it. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said quietly.

“I am, too.” Her lovely smile flashed at him. “Maybe God can use me to help you, as you’re helping me.”

“God again.” He frowned. It was a recurring theme with her.

“He’s part of my life, part of everything I do, part of every decision I make.” Abby tilted her head to one side and studied him. “I trust God.”

“Such unshakable faith. I wish I had it,” he said, and meant it.

“I don’t know that it’s unshakable,” she told him thoughtfully. “But you can have it. Faith is yours for the taking. In Ephesians 1:19 Paul prayed we would understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for those who believe. But the power is only activated when we believe, so that’s where I put my focus.”

A hundred questions buzzed through his head, but just then the doorbell rang. Cade glanced at his watch in surprise. It was late for visitors and highly unusual for anyone to just show up at the ranch. Abby followed him to the entry. Cade blinked when the town’s mayor, Marsha Grant, surged through the open door and shoved it closed behind her.

“Mayor Grant,” he said, taken aback as he always was by her forwardness.

“Good evening, Cade.” She smiled at him, then turned to Abby. “And you’re Mrs. McDonald, correct? Abby McDonald?”

“Yes.” Abby blinked and glanced at Cade, who shrugged. “How do you—”

“My daughter used to work with you. She saw you ride into town with Cade. She tells me you’re a social worker.” The mayor tilted back on her heeled boots. She removed her thick glasses, polished them with her vivid purple scarf and returned them to her face. “I’ll explain that later. I’m here about something else.”

“Would you like to come in? I can make a fresh pot of coffee.” Cade didn’t like the flicker of fear he saw cross Abby’s face. Perhaps she was in more trouble than he realized. His protective instincts pricked as his mind ran scenarios. Perhaps...

I trust God, Abby had said. Dare he do the same? But God hadn’t come through for Cade, not once in all the years he’d prayed for reconciliation with his dad.

“Can’t stay, thanks. Emergency.” Mayor Marsha’s short staccato sentences were simply the way she always spoke, but Cade interpreted Abby’s frown as concern.

“What kind of emergency?” he asked.

“You have acted as a child’s special advocate before, have you not?” Marsha focused on Abby, ignoring him.

“Yes,” Abby agreed. “But I haven’t been in social work for some months. I was laid off and—”

“Yes, yes,” the mayor said impatiently. “But your credentials are all active? You could return to work anytime you choose, correct?” Marsha’s stare was relentless.

“Yes, but I’m going to have twins in three months. I doubt anyone would hire me in this condition, especially knowing I’d soon be taking time off to be with my children.” Abby shook her head. “I doubt I can be much help to you.”

“Oh, yes you can.” Marsha chuckled. “You can be a very big help to me tonight, if Cade’s agreeable.” Finally she turned her attention back to him. “I have a situation.”

“Okay.” Cade pulled forward a small chair from near the entry door and urged Abby to sit. “We’re listening.” Her smile of thanks sent a feathering of warmth through him.

“There was a serious accident tonight,” Marsha explained. “Two people died, the parents of young Ivor Wynne, age ten. Buffalo Gap is his community, his home, the only place he’s ever known. But I’m afraid Children’s Protective Services will take him to a home in Calgary until next of kin can be contacted and decisions about his future made.” Mayor Marsha’s gray eyes grew steely. “Unless I can change their minds.”

“I’m so sorry,” Abby whispered.

Cade’s heart also contracted with sympathy. Poor kid.

“I will not have that child taken from here.” Marsha insisted. “I need someone who has the credentials, someone who knows what to do in these situations, to act for him so he doesn’t have to leave the only place he’s ever known as home.”

“You want Abby to be in charge of him?” Cade shook his head, irritated that she’d asked and more annoyed that Abby seemed to be considering it. “She can’t. She’s pregnant and tired. She needs to rest.”

“I could do it, Cade,” Abby said very quietly. “It wouldn’t be hard on me to help this boy through such desperate circumstances. But I’d want your agreement.”

“Mine?” He frowned. “Why?”

“Because he’d have to stay here. Unless you’d want me to take him somewhere else?” Abby’s big green eyes brimmed with compassion.

“But—this is a working ranch.” Cade gulped, desperate to avoid getting involved. He didn’t want another kid to experience his father’s vicious temper, to feel as stupid and useless as he had. He turned to Marsha. “This isn’t really a place for kids. Besides, my father is an invalid who needs constant care. Mrs. Swanson has her hands full. Who will look out for this boy when Abby needs to rest?”

“He’s ten, not an infant, Cade. But we can work all that out.” When Abby gazed up at him like that, Cade’s anger dissolved. “I trust God to help us,” she added quietly.

How could a guy argue with that?

“I’d like to know a little more about how your daughter knows Abby, that she’s a social worker.” He waited for Marsha’s response, grabbing at anything to stall the inevitable.

“My daughter visited me today for lunch. We were just coming out of the restaurant when you and Abby drove through town. My daughter waved but I guess neither of you noticed.” Marsha turned to Abby. “She used to work in your building. She said you even shared a few cases.” The mayor smiled at Abby’s surprise. “My daughter is Cindy Sharp. She’s in Legal Aid.”

“Cindy is your daughter?” Abby’s grin spread. “How is she? I always enjoyed working cases with her. She has such common sense.”

“She’s fine. Anyway, she’d just arrived back home in Calgary when she heard about the accident. I told her I wanted Ivor to stay in Buffalo Gap and she suggested you might help make that happen. Cindy says that when it comes to protecting kids, you’re like a tigress.” Marsha’s gaze held Abby’s. “That might be what I need to keep Ivor in this town.”

“Why is it so important he stay here?” Cade interrupted the knowing glance shared between the women.

“Aside from the fact that Buffalo Gap is Ivor’s home?” Marsha’s intense gaze shifted to him. Cade nodded. “We need him to stay because showing we have the wherewithal to handle these kind of challenges is one way of moving forward with an idea I’ve been hoping to initiate.”

Another of the mayor’s “ideas.” Cade had heard about many other impractical plans. He stifled his groan.

“I want us to open a placement plus adoption agency in Buffalo Gap,” Marsha said.

“Really?” Abby leaned forward and said in an eager voice, “Tell me about it.”

Marsha’s idea took a while to explain. Cade found another chair and set it so Marsha could be seated without having to remove her boots. Then he leaned his shoulder against the wall, waited and listened.

“Buffalo Gap is a small town and like most other small towns, we’re shrinking. We don’t have the economic base or the industry to draw people here. Besides, Calgary’s barely half an hour away. It’s nothing for folks to drive there and back for what they need.” Marsha paused. A twinkle lit her eyes when she smiled at Abby. “But we have two important assets—lots of land with lots of families.”

“I don’t see—” Cade paused when Abby interrupted.

“I think I do. Your town can offer foster homes for displaced kids with families who have lots of land for them to run free on, animals to care for and an atmosphere that offers respite from whatever the troubled kids might be suffering.” She said it thoughtfully while staring at some distant point. “On ranches like this one.” She turned her head to look at Cade. “It’s a marvelous idea,” she told him. Then she frowned at Marsha. “But I don’t get the adoption angle.”

“A small town has great connections. Everyone knows someone. A friend of mine used to run an adoption agency down east. She gave that up when she moved here to marry but she’s continued to help find homes for children. The difference is, she’s been doing it unofficially.”

“I see.” Abby nodded.

“It gets better.” Marsha leaned forward. “Recently, six separate couples have come to her asking for help to adopt a child because they heard about her success. So now she wants to open a formal adoption agency.”

Abby nibbled on her bottom lip as she listened. She looked so cute. Cade refocused.

“My friend’s husband died about eight months ago. She’s got the time and the money but she’s near retirement and doesn’t want the responsibility of opening an agency on her own,” Marsha explained. Her gaze narrowed on Abby. “You’d be a perfect partner.”

“Abby’s going to have twins,” Cade interjected without thinking. The words sounded silly even to him. He hadn’t really wanted to bring her here to the Double L but now that Abby was here, he didn’t want her to go?

“I’m not giving birth for a few months,” Abby said sharply with a sideways glare at him. “That doesn’t make me helpless in the meantime.”

“But—”

“Look, we can argue about my fragile state another time,” she said, cutting him off briskly. “The one to focus on now is Ivor. Can Marsha bring him here?”

All Cade had wanted was to help Max’s wife out of a tough situation. Even that was only meant to be a temporary solution. Now they were asking him to take on a grieving boy, too, to open his home to someone else who would witness his father’s hate toward his own son?

“Please let him come, Cade,” Abby whispered. She rose, walked toward him and grasped his hand in hers. “I’ll keep track of him. I promise he won’t go near your dad. I can help him. I know I can,” she said, her voice impassioned. “Please let me be useful again.”

How was he supposed to argue with that logic?

“He can come,” Cade said gruffly, too aware of Abby’s small hands still clutching his. “But only for as long as it takes to find him another home. This isn’t permanent—”

“Oh, thank you, Cade.” Abby flung her arms around him and hugged him. “Thank you for giving Ivor a chance.”

“Yeah, sure,” he said into her hair, his hands moving automatically around her waist. His nose twitched at her soft lilac scent.

“Ahem.” Marsha’s voice broke into his reverie.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Abby pulled away from Cade. She kept her eyes downcast but her cheeks were hot pink. “I, um, I just wanted to thank you.”

“You did.” He grinned when she peeked up at him through her lashes. “Very nicely, too.” Her eyes widened at his teasing tone, as if she didn’t expect him to have a sense of humor.

“So I’ll go get Ivor and bring him here,” Marsha asked, glancing from Cade to Abby, a question on her face. “Okay?”

Abby stared at Cade. “Okay?” she murmured.

Cade exhaled, straightened his shoulders and nodded.

“We’ll get a room ready for him. But he only stays as long as absolutely necessary,” he emphasized. “Agreed?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Marsha said. She rose, buttoned her coat and walked to the door. “I’ll be back in half an hour.”

Cade nodded, let her out and then closed the door behind her with a sigh.

“You’re doing the right thing, Cade. God will bless you for it,” Abby whispered.

He wasn’t sure about God or blessings, but he was pretty sure his dad would hate him for it.

Still, Cade mused as he walked with Abby chattering madly beside him, how could you possibly refuse a woman who wanted to help some hurting kid? Her sweetness, her gentleness, her care and concern were part of her nature. Those were only some of the things he liked most about Abby McDonald.

Maybe if he’d met a woman like Abby—

Cade immediately eradicated those thoughts. Romance wasn’t going to be part of his life. He didn’t have what it took to be a loving partner. And anyway, he wasn’t free to get involved, even if he wanted to. He had his father to think of and to plan a future for.

Cade was not going to let his heart get involved with anyone, but he was also determined never to end up bitter and angry like his dad. With Abby here, maybe that would get easier.